I feel disgusted - now I WILL loose this overweight (again)

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Aur0raBorealiz
Aur0raBorealiz Posts: 7 Member
edited May 2017 in Getting Started
I am a 27 year old woman who has pretty much always been overweight and also always felt ashamed and sad about it more or less. About 5-6 years ago my weight was the most it has ever been, around 93 kg / 205 lbs to my 165 cm / 5'4. When you are in it you never really realize how big you have become, you just know youre fat, until you one day realize it and is ready to do something about it.

I decided to loose weight and started eating well and jogging, later on started going to the gym many times a week. I lost 34 kg/ 75 lbs, my weight was at the lowest 59 kg / 130 lbs, which was very near the ideal weight for me, perhaps only 4 lbs /2 kg more to go. Even though I still wasnt 100% happy with my looks (my head still thought I was fat after all those years???), I was overly happy about my weight and how good clothes fitted on me, how happy I was to weight the lowest ever in many many many years! :smiley::blush:

About 3 years ago my life situation went deep *kitten*. I then started to slowly gain back some weight and here I am today, back to 74,6 kg / 164.4 lbs... which means I have gained 15,6 kg / 34.3 lbs. I have many times been thinking about to loose this weight but now it has come to a point where I just feel really awful about how I feel and really disgusted about how I look. Just this feeling feels so bad and the feeling of old clothes not fitting at all - no clothes looks good on me anymore actually - is devastating.

Five days ago I took some pictures to get to see the difference overtime. Today I found the pictures I took 5 year ago. OMG. Just feel even more horrible to see WHERE I AM TODAY? When did I get this big again? I looked so great back then when I for the first time in my adult life was thin, and probably even GREATER two years after that after more gym training, but didnt have pics of it. Probably didnt realize how great I looked then. And I absolutely would NOT have realized without those photos how much weight I have put on me again :(:( I feel bad, but didnt know it was this bad.

Once and for all.. I will now loose this overweight! My problem has always been that I am a emotional eater, I realize that know, and has always been I think. Also weekends is a weak point, I connect weekends with food, "snacks" and "going out and eat". This has to stop. It seems like my boyfriend can on the other side eat as much as he wants and he will still be thin. This time I have to be very clear on my goals and need him to be supportive. Often he buys home snacks for us or asks if we could go out and eat. This has made me go into the trap many many times :neutral:

Feel free to add me as a friend, need support and motivations from other in the same situation :blush:

Replies

  • danigirl1011
    danigirl1011 Posts: 314 Member
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    I am back again as well after an almost 60 pound loss. Overweight almost all my life. Lost all that weight, met my husband, got fat, happy and lazy and gained back 73. I have lost 20 of it again and going for 90 overall. Feel free to add me! I am always in need of more friends who are committed. We can do this!
  • Hoshiko
    Hoshiko Posts: 179 Member
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    Well, first of all, thank you for doing the weight conversions for us! ;)

    But also, you've done it before so you know you can do it again. One thing that sometimes helps people who struggle on the weekends is to just make a habit of accurately logging everything, even if you've gone over your calories for the day. Since you already know that your boyfriend may be a bit of a challenge food-wise, it might help you to think of your calorie goal as a weekly one as well, so that if you do go out to eat you don't get discouraged and frustrated.

    You can do this!
  • beanz744
    beanz744 Posts: 221 Member
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    i was at 210 for 4 years then went down to 175 then back up to 185 then down to 165, then back to 184 n i m now 169. i now know that MFP is MOTHER! check with her before ordering anything or stick anything in ur month!

    we always forget about MFP once on maintenance coz we feel like we made it n we know what we r doing n we dont need MOTHER any more! this time, i will always be a good boy n check with MOTHER first. :D
  • Aur0raBorealiz
    Aur0raBorealiz Posts: 7 Member
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    beanz744 wrote: »
    i was at 210 for 4 years then went down to 175 then back up to 185 then down to 165, then back to 184 n i m now 169. i now know that MFP is MOTHER! check with her before ordering anything or stick anything in ur month!

    we always forget about MFP once on maintenance coz we feel like we made it n we know what we r doing n we dont need MOTHER any more! this time, i will always be a good boy n check with MOTHER first. :D

    Haha, this just makes me laugh! It is so true though! This time I will also check with MOTHER first before sticking something in my mouth even if it would be MAINTENANCE! I also did quit checking with mother last time, didnt think I needed it anymore, oh my
  • Aur0raBorealiz
    Aur0raBorealiz Posts: 7 Member
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    Hoshiko wrote: »
    Well, first of all, thank you for doing the weight conversions for us! ;)

    But also, you've done it before so you know you can do it again. One thing that sometimes helps people who struggle on the weekends is to just make a habit of accurately logging everything, even if you've gone over your calories for the day. Since you already know that your boyfriend may be a bit of a challenge food-wise, it might help you to think of your calorie goal as a weekly one as well, so that if you do go out to eat you don't get discouraged and frustrated.

    You can do this!

    Thank you ver much! That is a great idea! I will try to think of it as a weekly one aswell, might help. Also, indeed I have done it before, I think the key is to really decide this is what you want and just do it :) (I hope) I will make it this time also.
  • Ohwhynot
    Ohwhynot Posts: 356 Member
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    I'm on my journey again after a 40 lb loss and regain. You can do this! Feel free to add me. :)
  • kathitoo
    kathitoo Posts: 10 Member
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    Hang in there, you did it once you can do it again!! Don't beat yourself up, look at the pictures as an accomplishment and motivation for being successful again. You are young and caught your weight gain early, instead of waiting until 20 years later and that 35 lbs. is now 100! That is my story
  • meadow417
    meadow417 Posts: 1 Member
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    I am so annoyed with myself
    .. I lost 2 stone after I had my twins and kept it off for a few months but things got stressful and I turned to food for comfort and I have now but 3 stone on. I worked so hard and felt great I'm. o bad I let myself get to this. I see the weight, my clothes look terrible and I feel miserable. I can't get out much to exercise as I've 3 young kids but I seriously need to stop eating like I am. The sad thing is I am comfort eating as I am upset over my weight! I really need help so if anyone wants to add me as a friend to kick my butt and vice versa I would appreciate it. I don't have anyone else with a weight problem to turn too and I feel I do need someone to push me x
  • Piqueaboo
    Piqueaboo Posts: 1,193 Member
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    Girl, preach. Honestly, a lot of us have been there (me included). I hit 94kg and knew I had to change something, I got down to 74kg for a hot minutes and next time I checked I was 113kg. Now I'm back, currently at 83kg planning to never have to do this again. You got this - log, log, log, and talk to "Mother" (I love this!). Oh, and I'm 30.

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