Myfitnesspal

Message Boards Getting Started
You are currently viewing the message boards in:

I'm Sick of Feeling Ugly

AyeeeAngeeelAyeeeAngeeel Member Posts: 5 Member Member Posts: 5 Member
I've been overweight my entire life. I'm 21 right now. I was bullied by my own family and classmates but I'm just done having a horrible self esteem. When guys look at me, instead of thinking that they're checking me out, they're judging me. I was recently diagnosed with PCOS and I always thought that having health issues was just a one in a million chance. I thought I was big because I wasn't exercising enough for eating healthy enough. But now I know it's not my fault and I'm trying. I'm going to the gym when I can with having two jobs and trying to go to Zumba to work out. It's just really hard. I just need some uplifting sometimes.
edited May 2017

Replies

  • iofrediofred Member, Premium Posts: 488 Member Member, Premium Posts: 488 Member
    Ugly is in the eye of the beholder, and there is a difference between overweight and ugly. The problem I am reading is that you "think" you are ugly, which then has an impact on your whole way of thinking. Accept yourself as who you are, and what others think about you, who gives a toss, they should accept you for who you are rather than who they want you to be. As one who is (also) self-confessed ugly (and very confident with it, as I have been ugly all my life :) ), I can tell you hand on hard you are far from ugly. Believe in yourself, the rest will fall in place automatically
  • nicolejuliafishernicolejuliafisher Member Posts: 2 Member Member Posts: 2 Member
    I have PCOS, too. I remember feeling relieved when I could finally pinpoint a reason why I was heavier than the rest of my family and couldn't seem to lose weight. To this day, my family is confused by the concept of PCOS and I've stopped trying to explain it. I don't need them to understand, just as you don't need your family to understand. This is your journey.

    With that being said, I've learned that while PCOS makes it difficult to lose weight, that doesn't mean it's impossible. I need to exercise a little longer and a little harder than most people, and I need to track calories more closely, but as long as I do so, I see results. PCOS is a factor, not an excuse. Do you know that Jillian Michaels has PCOS?

    I've often wondered if some people are wired to hate fitness and nutrition, while others are born to love and embrace it. I hate exercise. I need to push myself to like and eat veggies. For me, it's imperative that I make it part of a routine that doesn't get broken. Once I get into the habit, it becomes second nature.

    My unsolicited advice is to celebrate the fact that you now know the reason why you struggle. Celebrate your potential. Be patient with yourself. It's not easy, but it's not impossible. No excuses. You may have PCOS, but it's still about calories in and calories burned, just like it is for everyone else.
  • victorias36victorias36 Member Posts: 28 Member Member Posts: 28 Member
    I agree Nicole. I also have PCOS. I have lost over 100 lbs total. Since I have been using MFP 67 lbs. It is a little harder but you can do it! You have to find what works best for you and just do it! No excuses. Calories in, calories out. As far as family is concerned just have a very frank conversation with them and tell them that you need their support and their love. The journey is not easy but you can do it. I know it is possible. Good luck and don't forget you are so worth it!!
  • Godsgirl42Godsgirl42 Member Posts: 3,490 Member Member Posts: 3,490 Member
    I've been overweight my entire life. I'm 21 right now. I was bullied by my own family and classmates but I'm just done having a horrible self esteem. When guys look at me, instead of thinking that they're checking me out, they're judging me. I was recently diagnosed with PCOS and I always thought that having health issues was just a one in a million chance. I thought I was big because I wasn't exercising enough for eating healthy enough. But now I know it's not my fault and I'm trying. I'm going to the gym when I can with having two jobs and trying to go to Zumba to work out. It's just really hard. I just need some uplifting sometimes.

    I have to say...you're very pretty and if people are mean to you and bully you then THEY are the problem!!!! I understand about thinking men are judging you instead of checking you out. Even though I am 248 lbs men look at me sometimes and my husband had to tell me that they were flirting with me. I fought him on this, until I actually saw it for myself. Keep moving and eating right and this will work itself out. Hugs!
  • louiseisbeautifullouiseisbeautiful Member Posts: 4 Member Member Posts: 4 Member
    I also still get looked at (in a good way) and I'm double the weight I should be. Some men just find bigger women sexy!
    I also have pcos..however I can lose weight when I stop eating the crap. For some reason, in the last week I have discovered this app, I am calorie counting (which I always thought was a no no) and I feel so much better :-)
  • astrampeastrampe Member Posts: 2,207 Member Member Posts: 2,207 Member
    Please go get some help - you have self esteem issues, and even if you lose a lot of weight and wear a size 0, you will still have issues and not be happy if you don't get some help....
  • getupforchangegetupforchange Member Posts: 86 Member Member Posts: 86 Member
    Deal with your self confidence issues and your weight issues separately. Make sure to not link the two or you'll find yourself still disliking your looks when you've reached your weightless goal and it might keep you from stopping there or enjoying the journey. Don't let bullies define you or what beauty is. They have not earned that power and never will. Your self worth has nothing to do with your weight.
  • malioumbamalioumba Member Posts: 132 Member Member Posts: 132 Member
    I'm really sorry you're feeling so unattractive. I think that a lot of people are coming in from positions where they more or less feel happy with themselves, and their looks and it might be easier to say that all it requires is a rise in self-esteem. But it's not always so simple, sometimes we don't look for validation to feel pretty, but life throws unsolicited validation that we are *NOT* pretty. And we try to look left, right, up, down, trying to ignore the constant 'confirmation' that we're are unattractive, but life presents it to you - right up to your face.

    This may not work for everyone, but there's a certain comfort in just accepting that one is very unattractive to the rest of the world. My experiences have been that anytime I felt somewhat pretty, life went on to prove to me that I'm very, very, very wrong. So in a way, acceptance of being unattractive leaves you with a peace because there isn't the constant reminder/punch/unsolicited confirmation about how people perceive our looks.
  • 7sorok7sorok Member Posts: 108 Member Member Posts: 108 Member
    Please get some help. If you can't share your worries with your family, do it on your own. My daughter, when she was your age, thought of herself as the ugliest person in the world even though she was and is extremely pretty and slim. She lost good 15 years of her life, till she got professional help. It's not your weight that keeps men not noticing you, it's your self esteem. Meanwhile, track your food diligently without dieting and you'll see where you need to improve your eating habits. Exercising helps to keep skin tight. When you get older, you'll appreciate tight skin - it works marvel on your self esteem. Meanwhile, take care of your skin, hair and wear neat clothes. Make changes that are cheap and easy to achieve. Just be consistent and you'll be happy. I'm not preaching, but many things that you can do are in your pocket. Best of happiness! BTW, looking at your avatar (if it's you), you are very pretty, so it's not your prettiness or weight, but your self esteem. Work on it and it will bring you happiness.
    edited May 2017
  • trrivasfittrrivasfit Member Posts: 6 Member Member Posts: 6 Member
    You can do it ! Stay strong ! Create a healthy lifestyle ! Follow me on @tomrivas for tips ☺️
  • vikinglandervikinglander Member Posts: 1,547 Member Member Posts: 1,547 Member
    Sexy is not a size. Every calorie is not a war. Your body is not a battleground. Your value is not measured in pounds. You are as beautiful as every other woman.
  • BoxerBrawlerBoxerBrawler Member, Premium Posts: 2,041 Member Member, Premium Posts: 2,041 Member
    If you feel ugly now, you'll still feel ugly after you lose weight. One has nothing to do with the other. Come up with a realistic exercise and nutrition plan and get some counseling to get to the root cause of "why" you feel ugly.
  • jajonesstljajonesstl Member, Premium Posts: 9 Member Member, Premium Posts: 9 Member
    I'm not going to get philosophical about how you feel. Or maybe I am. We feel how we feel, unfortunately too often how others treat us makes us perceive that everyone judges us the same way. I don't know you but so much beauty in this world is unseen because of the clouds others put out there. Unfortunately you feel ugly, and I can tell you that Ugly is not a physical trait. And even if you disagree, your picture shows a beautiful young woman with a wonderful smile. You've taken your first step. It's a long road, but you can do it. For me MFP has offered me lifestyle change that is leading to weightloss, better fitness and a better relationship with my wife. Cushman is correct. Your feeling the way you do won't go away as the weight goes away.
  • youdoyou2016youdoyou2016 Member Posts: 393 Member Member Posts: 393 Member
    If you feel ugly now, you'll still feel ugly after you lose weight. One has nothing to do with the other. Come up with a realistic exercise and nutrition plan and get some counseling to get to the root cause of "why" you feel ugly.

    Yep, this ^^.

    When I was a kid, I felt that I must be ugly and disgusting given how my parents and brothers treated me.

    Throughout my life, I've gained, lost, gained, and now losing -- I have about 10 more lbs to go to look good naked (after losing over 100). Turned 47 over the wknd.

    Today, some guys were checking me out in the gym, and I pretended I didn't see them and got scared. It was automatic / immediate -- and the exact opposite of what I want to do. Weight is irrelevant. My automatic thought is, well, automatic. I'm in therapy ... but it's not easy to erase a lifetime of this. So, as others are saying: take care of yourself physically and mentally.
Sign In or Register to comment.