Bingeing vicious cycle.. I feel like a failure

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I'm bingeing around once a week at the moment. I do so well for a week or so and then I just blow it. I know that it's a mental issue and I've been seeing a therapist for 2 years but there are so many issues from my childhood that we can't pinpoint it to one thing. Has anyone managed to overcome bingeing? I started wanting to binge on chocolate since yesterday. I resisted the binge and went to bed but woke up still wanting to binge. And it gets to the point where I can't fight it any longer. If anyone has any tips or advice I'd really appreciate it. I need to shift the weight as I'm getting married next year and I have around 80 pounds to lose... feeling like a big fat failure because this vicious cycle keeps happening.
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  • Dabbadooey
    Dabbadooey Posts: 10 Member
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    All I can offer is sympathy. I suffer greatly from it.
  • Rusty740
    Rusty740 Posts: 749 Member
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    Sounds like you need to give yourself a break :) We all have setbacks and we just need to stay in the game. I imagine that eating is a stress relief for you like it is for many of us. First things first, your future husband will still marry you just the way you are. Getting stressed about eating is making you more stressed and you want food to eat to help manage that stress! urgh :( I hate to say this because I hate this type of thing, but it sounds like you need to try to "think more happy thoughts".

    There are a few other strategies you could try. One is, when you feel you really want to binge, make a healthy, filling snack like some brown rice and eat it. Then after you've eaten it, if you still want to binge, go ahead. Have some water with that rice too ;)

    You could try eating more protein earlier in the day. It's a fact that increased protein increases satiety and reduces overall calories. I've found this helped more than I thought it would. Eggs for breakfast :)

    Another thing that you could try longer term is skipping breakfast. Eat the same amount of calories as you normally would, but pick times during the day that you just won't eat. Water and black coffee are fine. I've found that it is much easier to not eat food if it's 'just not time to eat' that way you can't get into the habit of having a little bit more than you should, because it's very black and white, eat or don't eat.

    If you haven't already, do you best to not bring binge items into your house at all except when planned. This will make you go to extra effort to go out of the house to get them.

    You can do this :) nobody said it would be easy, but it's worth it.

  • Fataf99
    Fataf99 Posts: 112 Member
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    id go with rusty on the more protien, I binge when im not eating enough.

    When you feel the need to binge drink 750ml of water sit for 5 mins and see if that helps.
  • eyer0ll
    eyer0ll Posts: 313 Member
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    No advice, just empathy. And you're not a failure -- because you haven't given up. You are sticking it out and doing your best. There is so much more to people than just their weight or physical appearance.
  • debtay123
    debtay123 Posts: 1,327 Member
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    You are definitely NOT a failure- YOU see the problem and you are seeking solutions to it- There is a lot of sound advice- just take it one day at a time- if need be- one hour at a time- and even if you do binge eat- get back up and start right back on your eating plan THE NEXT MEAL- you can do this!!!!
  • allyphoe
    allyphoe Posts: 618 Member
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    More protein, a very moderate deficit (like 250 calories a day), and fewer consecutive days off exercise. More protein helps if I'm having cravings over a span of days. Data analysis says I'm most likely to overeat on a no-exercise day following 5 or more consecutive days of exercise. Moderate deficit in general makes me less likely to binge.
  • nutmegoreo
    nutmegoreo Posts: 15,532 Member
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    How many calories are you aiming for in a day? And can you explain what you are calling binging? Are you meaning it as in, you cave and have a chocolate bar and feel guilty about it, or do you mean you eat uncontrollably until you feel sick.
  • lizzienarwhal
    lizzienarwhal Posts: 3 Member
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    I am exactly the same, I do great for a couple of days then I can't fight the binge and just give in x
  • xchocolategirl
    xchocolategirl Posts: 186 Member
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    If you're not seeing a health professional about this I would recommend doing so. If you already see a health professional about this I would recommend making another appointment and speaking with them about this. Good luck!!
  • kshama2001
    kshama2001 Posts: 27,988 Member
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    I'm bingeing around once a week at the moment. I do so well for a week or so and then I just blow it. I know that it's a mental issue and I've been seeing a therapist for 2 years but there are so many issues from my childhood that we can't pinpoint it to one thing. Has anyone managed to overcome bingeing? I started wanting to binge on chocolate since yesterday. I resisted the binge and went to bed but woke up still wanting to binge. And it gets to the point where I can't fight it any longer. If anyone has any tips or advice I'd really appreciate it. I need to shift the weight as I'm getting married next year and I have around 80 pounds to lose... feeling like a big fat failure because this vicious cycle keeps happening.

    Sentences like "I do so well for a week or so and then I just blow it" usually means that someone was under-eating, which can definitely trigger a binge.

    What's your weekly weight loss goal set to? I wonder if you are trying to lose too much too fast. Why don't you aim for losing a pound per week, and see if that gets you off the restrict/binge roller coaster. This may not sound like a lot, but in a year it's 50 pounds.

    Ask your therapist if you can do some cognitive behavioral therapy (CBT) right now to immediately improve your relationship with food. I had YEARS of therapy but what was really helpful was just a few CBT focused meetings.

    When I do the following, I don't have cravings:

    1. Get sufficient sleep
    2. Exercise regularly - when I get the happy hormones from exercise, I'm not prone to seeking them from food.
    3. Get sufficient protein in relationship to carbs. I'm not low carb, but reducing carbs and upping protein worked for cravings for me. See also http://www.nutrition.org.uk/healthyliving/fuller/understanding-satiety-feeling-full-after-a-meal.html
    4. Eat moderate amounts of fruit. This makes me less interested in higher calorie sweets.
    5. Take a magnesium supplement. This can be especially helpful for women premenstrually.
    6. Save foods like chocolate for after dinner, in small amounts
    7. Stay hydrated
    8. Have a calorie deficit that is appropriate for the amount of weight I need to lose. An overly aggressive goal can definitely lead to cravings.
    9. Eat at maintenance when my appetite goes up premenstrually.
  • Tashlovesfood
    Tashlovesfood Posts: 51 Member
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    Thanks for your advice everyone. It's nice to know that I have support on here. For those asking I'm aiming to lose 1.5 pounds a week. But to be honest I keep going down to a certain point and then back up again because I binge and ruin everything. And when I say binge I mean I have had- probably around 500 calories worth of potato chips, around 3 ice cream bars of about 200 calories each and a kitkat bar. So around 1300 calories of junk :/
  • JeromeBarry1
    JeromeBarry1 Posts: 10,182 Member
    edited May 2017
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    OP, do you ever plan to have a single small piece of chocolate and do so successfully? Or, is the first taste always a binge trigger?

    Frankly, the best thing for you may well be to change your weight loss target to 0.5 lb per week and have a Hershey Kiss every stinking day until you get sick of it.
  • CynthiasChoice
    CynthiasChoice Posts: 1,047 Member
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    I'm a recovering binger myself. Here's a copy of something I posted on someone else's thread:

    "It's important to learn how to recognize what triggers you to overeat. Is it stress? A celebration? A way to reward yourself for doing something difficult? Or maybe boredom? Did something happen that made you feel bad about yourself? Do you eat more around a certain person? Try to figure out what was different about this week. Write down some of your thoughts so you can refer back to it later. Keep adding insights to your journal on a regular basis. Just remember your "why" can't be "because it tasted good." The first two or three bites of something are the best, then the sensation diminishes and we continue eating for another reason.

    What you discover about your own personal "whys" of overeating will be profoundly important to you ALL your life, not just during this diet. Once you can look your "why" in the face, you can begin developing strategies to remain confidently in control of what you eat.

    I've adopted many different strategies for all my many "whys" and I'm working on them continually. For me, it's not enough to just hope or trust that my future self will be this ideal person who will never get fat again. I have to practice now what I want my future self to be accomplished with. Doing that gives me real hope, not that slippery fantasy-hope feeling that's shadowed with doubt."

    I hope you find the answers you're looking for.
  • PAV8888
    PAV8888 Posts: 13,894 Member
    edited May 2017
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    Reduce your deficit.

    Stop thinking of going over goal as a ruined day which you might as well compound with more stuff now that it's ruined already.

    Stop thinking of food as "virtuous" and "junk".

    A 1300 Cal unplanned overage (technically 550 Cal overage since you have a 750 deficit), is not enough to offset a 4500 Cal deficit (6x750). So more than one issue is going on here.

    How long have you been at a deficit? Have you taken a break at all?

    @kshama2001 has some great ideas up-thread! So does Cynthia.
  • nowine4me
    nowine4me Posts: 3,985 Member
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    Great advice here already. I too binge about once a week, especially if I'm set at anything below 1# a week (or 1700). I can't stress the importance of sleep and hydration.
  • amtyrell
    amtyrell Posts: 1,449 Member
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    Work some chocolate into your eating plan.
  • Tashlovesfood
    Tashlovesfood Posts: 51 Member
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    Thanks everyone. I definitely allow myself some sort of dessert every day but the problem is stopping after one portion... some days I can stop and some days I can't. That's the problem, but I also know that cutting it out completely won't work because I WILL cave at some point around 3-4 weeks in and eat ALL the chocolate! Lol. I guess I just need to learn to have more self control but as much as I want to lose weight, and I do want to, so so badly, in the moment it's an impulse that I just can't control...