dose your family do this

Amandamccl
Amandamccl Posts: 380
edited September 30 in Motivation and Support
my mom says she dosnt know why I try to lose weights when you can't stick to it. and she's always saying I look 10 months pregnant and always talking my butt or anything I eat and my ex boyfriend was the same way its hard to lose weight when people are so native : -(

Replies

  • LosingTheWeight2014
    LosingTheWeight2014 Posts: 173
    I don't really talk to my family, so I cannot say whether they would do that to me or not, but I have had so-called friends say stuff like that to me, and it only made me more determined to prove them wrong and me right!

    Stick to what you are doing, ignore them as much as possible and come here for support.

    It's not about them anyway. It's about you and you wanting to be healthy.
  • yaddayaddayadda
    yaddayaddayadda Posts: 430 Member
    Stay away from the negative people... you have us now. Keep up the fight. You can do it!
  • bcattoes
    bcattoes Posts: 17,299 Member
    That is a shame. No, my family is very supportive. I'm glad the ex-boyfriend is an ex. Have you tried telling your mom how it makes you feel. I would hope she'd want to support you.
  • cjjones007
    cjjones007 Posts: 602
    I think a lot of people do this to others - they are jealous and insecure of their own health and fitness levels and (hopefully) unknowingly sabotage you with words...
    Hang in there - Just think about how GREAT it will feel when you are fit and healthy and they then will have to accept they were wrong!

    (That's what I did with my ex lol)
    CJ
  • bettyboopo
    bettyboopo Posts: 15 Member
    I think it's horrible when the people closest to you don't support you :( But the truth is, YOU are the only person that can change your body and YOU are the only person that needs to believe you can do this! Ignore any negative comments because soon nobody will be able to say negative things about your body!
  • StaceyL76
    StaceyL76 Posts: 711 Member
    Sorry that you are dealing with a negative sphere. My suggestion is to reach out to your resources and create a positive support system. MFP is one, but find some local resources or close friends you can call or hang with.

    Support is so important. It is why I am on MFP. It is my only REAL support. My husband, son, and daughter are catching on and being more supportive after almost 8 months. MFP is an outstanding support.

    Again, I am sorry and I have to agree it sucks. However, I know you can persevere.
  • Setof2Keys
    Setof2Keys Posts: 681 Member
    well native isn't the prob...NEGATIVE is!! You need to explain to them you're not dieting (that's impossible to stick to) but a lifestyle change (and that is possible to stick to). You need to express to them that is it not helping you and if it continues, you may need to remove that from your life. <just saying>
  • simplysara9
    simplysara9 Posts: 521
    There are some people that are too negative to believe that anyone can make a positive change in their life. You can do this, stick with the program and prove your family wrong. Try not to listen to their negativity. You need to do this for yourself and don't worry about what they say!
  • Sauchie
    Sauchie Posts: 357 Member
    my mom says she dosnt know why I try to lose weights when you can't stick to it. and she's always saying I look 10 months pregnant and always talking my butt or anything I eat and my ex boyfriend was the same way its hard to lose weight when people are so native : -(
    been there hang in there
  • JoceyyySmall
    JoceyyySmall Posts: 155 Member
    You work on you! This is your life- I know its hard to not let negative comments effect you, but use those comments as fuel to push harder and longer during workouts than ever before. Use the comments to make sure you eat better, etc. You can do this, its your time and its about you! No one else. Keep up the good work you have this site and people here to support you. YOU. CAN. DO. THIS.
  • JoLeeFA
    JoLeeFA Posts: 211 Member
    People can be so cruel.

    It is too bad that the folks we love the most have the ability to hurt us the most. I also have a mother that always put me down because of my size. In high school, she always told me that I would be pretty if I weren't so fat... That killed my self esteem! As a nearly 40 year old, I really want to scream, I GOT FAT EATING FROM YOUR TABLE. EATING THE FOODS YOU COOKED. But she wouldn't get it!

    Look at yourself in the mirror and tell yourself, OUT LOUD, every day that you are beautiful. You are worth the efforts. Even if you don't believe it now, one day, you will!

    Good luck
  • mishelnkiki
    mishelnkiki Posts: 775 Member
    im lucky. my fam is super supportive. my ex.. was not. which is one reason he is an ex. try to surround urself with more positive people,
  • melizerd
    melizerd Posts: 870 Member
    Because people who can't do it like to criticize people who CAN do it.

    I had the issue with my mom too, she was my biggest saboteur too. *I* had to break that cycle and decide only *I* would decide what I ate and how I felt. Almost a year later she has FINALLY told me that I'm looking better, but not til almost 70lbs have come off. Meanwhile she hasn't lost anything and is still buying bakery like it's going out of style and confused why "no one is eating it" (read me).
  • WWhitaker
    WWhitaker Posts: 309
    It sounds to me that you're family is putting you down and being downright uncalled for. No one has the right to speak to another in that manner. You need to tell your mom if what she's doing is trying to help you, then you need to lean her in a direction that actually will. Otherwise, she's just berating you, and you don't need to put up with that. Best of luck to you!
  • LaDiablesse
    LaDiablesse Posts: 862 Member
    Keep your focus on the positive & try your hardest not to listen to the negative stuff. You have the courage to take the necessary steps to make a positive change in your life. Don't let anyone take that away from you. Come here for support & encouragement! You can do this!
  • Lleldiranne
    Lleldiranne Posts: 5,516 Member
    Yeah, some people in my family are so negative, too. I finally got my mom to regularly log her food here (I was worried about her health!!) and it seems like right away my brother and her husband both go on and on about how she takes so long to log her food, and why they can't/won't do it, etc. I swear, her husband is trying to sabotage her efforts with what he cooks, etc. And I even mention the website to my brother and he rolls his eyes and gets this expression of "why do you even bother ... and why did you drag mom into it" ... like it's some waste of money or something.

    I think that some people do genuinely have concerns. But really, if you try and don't quite reach your goals, you can keep trying, and you're healthier for it anyway (eating better, more exercise), so why do they have to drag it down!!

    And most of all I hate the comments some people who supposedly love us will make about our bodies ... like what you said. Or even "you're fatter than last time I saw you" (I get this .... did they think I didn't notice??) I remember from a young age my grandma worrying about me gaining weight - I as a bit pudgy - and commenting on how I ate. To this day, I have a negative body image no matter what I weigh, which makes it harder to stay active and fit. That is why I am teaching my kids to focus on healthy eating and activity, not what their body looks like!


    Added: But that's why we come here, right? To get the support we need to be successful, especially when we don't get it from those around us!!!
  • Amandamccl
    Amandamccl Posts: 380
    That is a shame. No, my family is very supportive. I'm glad the ex-boyfriend is an ex. Have you tried telling your mom how it makes you feel. I would hope she'd want to support you.


    yep and she says well its true
  • chelsifina
    chelsifina Posts: 346 Member
    Sometimes family can be super toxic. Like crabs in a bucket, as soon as you try to free yourself from a bad situation, they drag you back down. Your mother sounds hypercritical and pretty cruel. Do what feels good for you. Your only task in this life is to find happiness. That usually involves feeling like you contribute positively to the world, loving relationships, meaningful spirituality, and health. Find your happiness. Keep walking down that path, and don't turn back just because your mom, or anybody else, wants company in their bitterness.
  • inotnew
    inotnew Posts: 218 Member
    It's hard to lose weight PERIOD!. My family would just try to feed me to sabotage me, rather than tell me I will fail. Your unhelpful mom is toxic thinking. When you don't have support from those around you, that is when it is really tough. I would suggest finding people to put around you who can be supporting. MFP of course, also maybe some face to face people at TOPS, or Weight Watchers. Good Luck
  • zookeepersuzy
    zookeepersuzy Posts: 111
    short answer= yes.

    long answer = My mom has always made me feel bad about my weight & now she critisizes my running/walking speed since I started doing half marathons. Last summer I did a 1/2 where it was brutally hot/sunny with no breeze and at the finish poured water over my head to cool down. When I sent my mom a picture she said I looked like a drowned rat. When I explained that it was so hot with no breeze, she told me that I'd get a breeze if I ran faster. This coming from a woman who I've never seen walk fast, let alone run. I don't send pictures anymore and I avoid talking to her about things that are important to me.

    My ex bf was also very negative about my weight which is one reason he's my ex & completely out of my life. My husband is supportive of my weight loss efforts and never says anything negative even if I deserve some critisism. If he knows that I've gone over my calories, he will suggest we take a walk together.

    I know it's hard to ignore comments about your weight especially if you live together or nearby and see her often, can you try to change the subject or leave the room next time? If you have the courage you could tell her that you don't appreciate her comments and let her know that it really hurts your feelings (I never have confronted my mom, but I daydream about it).
  • beckyinma
    beckyinma Posts: 1,433 Member
    They are trying to sabotage you because if you lose weight and they don't it'll make them look bad. They are trying to sabotage you because they are jealous of your strong efforts and commitment. They are sabotaging you because they are too lazy to do it themselves. Like above, they're too lazy to look/feel good, so they may as well try to drag you down with them.

    YOU need to stand up to them, they have NO RIGHT to speak to you that way or disrespect you in such a nasty derogatory manner. Stick up for yourself, don't go hiding under the bed every time they start to put you down. Stand up for yourself. Put them in their place and chances are, they will stop.
This discussion has been closed.

Categories