You are Not Fat (and Why This *kitten* Really Needs to Stop)

Lucas2013
Lucas2013 Posts: 15 Member
edited June 2017 in Motivation and Support
I hear it all the time: I'm fat, I'm skinny, I'm ugly. More often than not, when we are describing ourselves, we use descriptive adjectives to form a sense of identity. Someone who has a lot of money, for instance, could say that I'm rich, or someone that has next to nothing could say that I'm poor. But that does not define the person. Are they poor at family relationships, a poor communicator, a poor father or mother? Without context, the word poor means next to nothing.

So I want people to remember that unless you died and were reincarnated as a fat cell, you are not fat. You have fat. But guess what? So does every living being on the planet. Some have more than others. But fat does not define you as a person. You are a unique and creative individual that is unlike anyone else in the world. No matter what, no one will be exactly like you, and you should take pride in this fact.

So please do yourselves all a favor, especially women, and stop defining yourselves according to numbers and scales. You are more than a number. You are 37.2 trillion cells of functioning consciousness operating in a vessel called a body, and damn proud of it.

Replies

  • bbell1985
    bbell1985 Posts: 4,571 Member
    I'm not feeling like a ray of sunshine today. But sure. Maybe I am not one giant fat cell, but I have fat.
  • lauracups
    lauracups Posts: 533 Member
    I am the culmination of my life experiences and how they shaped the way I treat myself and others. Being fat and being treated like a fat girl was a significant part of what shaped me to change. Don't very much care what I'm called, fat, ugly, fit or pretty. What matters is my ability to change to suit me. Words like fat are just adjectives, rewrite the sentence.
  • Lounmoun
    Lounmoun Posts: 8,423 Member
    I agree that fat is not who we are anymore than our height or hair color but I do think being overweight does impact and define our lives a good deal. In that sense someone saying they are fat can be descriptive of their experience not a put down.

  • AniaMania81
    AniaMania81 Posts: 35 Member
    So how should I describe my body size? Do you prefer obese?
  • taziarj
    taziarj Posts: 243 Member
    So the whole argument here is how we use the terms in context? Seems kind of silly and comes down to semantics. If someone says they are fat, they don't mean they literally are a single fat cell. Good grief. They are referring to their appearance. We don't need to be so precise in our use of the words.
  • lemurcat12
    lemurcat12 Posts: 30,886 Member
    edited June 2017
    "Fat" in the English language means a particular type of substance on our body, a macronutrient that we consume, AND also is an adjective meaning "weighs more than is ideal to a certain (subjective) extent." Thus, it's not wrong to say "I am fat." Is it useful? Depends on the person -- for me it was kind of useful, part of reclaiming it and facing/accepting my body and moving on to what is productive. I also think it's a bit of a defense mechanism (saying "I'm fat" before anyone else can decide I might not be aware enough and correct me), but that also was something I had to work through. I never went around going on and on about being fat to people (and don't now when what I would mean is "my body is not as I would like it" and thus I'd consider it obnoxious), but that wasn't because I wasn't fat (I was), but because no one else wants to hear you going on about your own body (vs. just saying "yeah, I know I'm fat but" or whatever) and it's not a productive state of mind to encourage.

    Anyway, I do appreciate your POV, OP, and think that's one positive way to think of it, but this is mine.

    Re newmeadow's comment -- that would frustrate me too, as my intent would always be to acknowledge and move on, and the person would seem to read it as me needing to be made to feel better (which I didn't) or wanting to be corrected about things I knew were true. I think it grows out of junior high or high school when some WOULD say "I'm so fat" or "I'm so ugly" so others would say "no, you are perfect," but when you wouldn't have done that then and are way past thinking anyone would (i.e., a grown up), it's annoying. Or at least that's the context in which I relate to the comment.
  • WanderingRivers
    WanderingRivers Posts: 612 Member
    Um no. I am fat. I am depressed. I am ADHD. I am all these things. I hope to one day be skinny but for now I'm a fat tub of lard.
  • Unknown
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  • mandy_godfree
    mandy_godfree Posts: 72 Member
    It's more when people are trying to compliment me that I end up thinking "Was I really that big?"

    I knew I needed to lose some weight, and more importantly I needed to improve my fitness. But when people are trying to encourage me I get comments like "You've lost loooads of weight?" Or "You're half the person". Well I'm not half the person I've lost just under 10% of my overall original weight, not 50%. I have lost a decent amount of weight but I wouldn't call it loooaads. I really wasn't THAT big before.

    People make it sound like I used to be grossly obese before. Which I wasn't. I think people need to tone it down a little when they try to compliment because I'm really not sure that being so derogative about how someone used to look is helpful. What happens if something happens in my life and I end up at my old weight again? After all, last time it was as a result of surgery. My self esteem is going to be worst than it was last time I was that size.

    It just shows that it is still Internationally agreed on the subliminal level that thin is beautiful and plump is ugly. Rather than the difference between being healthy and unhealthy.

    My favourite compliment came today because it had no references to my weight at all. I was told "I don't know what you've done different, but you look lovely, almost radiant." Now that was a compliment!
  • lemurcat12
    lemurcat12 Posts: 30,886 Member
    mandy_godfree wrote: »
    It's more when people are trying to compliment me that I end up thinking "Was I really that big?"

    I knew I needed to lose some weight, and more importantly I needed to improve my fitness. But when people are trying to encourage me I get comments like "You've lost loooads of weight?" Or "You're half the person". Well I'm not half the person I've lost just under 10% of my overall original weight, not 50%. I have lost a decent amount of weight but I wouldn't call it loooaads. I really wasn't THAT big before.

    Someone said to me "you've lost 300 lbs!" and I think realized immediately it was a dumb thing to say and felt awkward so I slipped into "smooth over awkward moment" mode but actually thought it was funny. I did lose loooads of weight, but my highest was maybe 220, so no, I didn't lose near 300. (I assume she was using 300 to mean "lots," but still.)
  • DezYaoified
    DezYaoified Posts: 143 Member
    This is like splitting the difference between soda and pop. We can call it as many different names as we like but its still the same thing.

    Acknowledging im fat was a huge step to start making a change.
  • tabletop_joe
    tabletop_joe Posts: 455 Member
    @rednote49 Exactly! And thanks for the laugh!
  • Penthesilea514
    Penthesilea514 Posts: 1,189 Member
    I can understand the sentiment of avoiding defining yourself only by one facet: being fat. But I feel it is important to acknowledge it especially if you want to change. I am a lot of other things besides fat, but ignoring how large I had gotten is how I got to this point in the first place. I am fat, but I am also smart, funny, pretty, nerdy, wife, doctor, sister, daughter, aunt, shy, introverted...the list goes on and on. But until I confronted the truth about myself, and recognized that it was not how I wanted to live my life anymore, I wasn't ready to change.
  • Duck_Puddle
    Duck_Puddle Posts: 3,237 Member
    Actually-fat is an adjective, just like happy, sad, tall, short, thick, thin, etc. and one can indeed be fat (in the same way they can be happy, sad, etc.). The trouble is not in calling oneself fat (which is correct use of the language), It is in assuming that being fat somehow negates their value and worth as a person. Assigning a moral value to the word fat is what causes the issue. Being fat means you have excess fat. The end.
  • CSARdiver
    CSARdiver Posts: 6,252 Member
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    Are you attempting to re-state "Love the sinner, hate the sin"?

    If there is a quality that you don't like - change the behavior associated with this. Moralizing over a word is foolish. Sticking your head in the sand and not acknowledging that you can change is equally foolish.
  • Rawr1978
    Rawr1978 Posts: 245 Member
    No, i am fat. I've spent 6 years assuring myself that im not, but it's true, and i need to lose it. My self-esteem is good, i dont put myself down, but the extra weight isnt doing me any favors, and neither is assuring myself that "fat isnt bad for me".
    And "fat" doesnt mean "ugly".

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