I need dating advice

relynne
relynne Posts: 387 Member
I know I'm probably way overthinking this. So, I have a first date Wednesday night. He just messaged me to say that he made reservations at a fancy sushi place. I love sushi and this is one of my favorite restaurants so awesome, right? Here's the issue (and I know this sounds ridiculous)- I can't eat with chopsticks. I've tried many times, people have tried to teach me, I'm just stupid when it comes to using chopsticks. :'( It usually doesn't bother me to ask for a fork, but this is a first date and I feel weird showing up to this restaurant and eating with a fork. Should I tell him I want to eat somewhere else? Warn him about the chopstick issue (some people are weird about it and I don't want him to feel awkward at the restaurant)?

If I knew him better and this wasn't our first date, I wouldn't care. I just don't want this to be any more awkward than first dates usually are.
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Replies

  • Vikka_V
    Vikka_V Posts: 9,563 Member
    Don't stress and overthink it, just have fun and do ask for a fork (I would too!).
    It's better than making a mess with chopsticks, (I picture food falling all over the place!)
    Tell him by all means, no shame in not being able to use chopsticks very well. It's a cute conversation starter anyways!
  • deputy_randolph
    deputy_randolph Posts: 940 Member
    I can't use chopsticks...my husband thinks it is "cute." A fork is basically a shovel for your mouth...I prefer a fork anyway.
  • km8907
    km8907 Posts: 3,861 Member
    Just ask for a fork. They don't care. Maybe he can teach you how to use chopsticks. Don't change the restaurant, that's overkill.
  • bbell1985
    bbell1985 Posts: 4,571 Member
    I'd ask to change the place, personally.
  • xNAMOx
    xNAMOx Posts: 36 Member
    relynne wrote: »
    I know I'm probably way overthinking this. So, I have a first date Wednesday night. He just messaged me to say that he made reservations at a fancy sushi place. I love sushi and this is one of my favorite restaurants so awesome, right? Here's the issue (and I know this sounds ridiculous)- I can't eat with chopsticks. I've tried many times, people have tried to teach me, I'm just stupid when it comes to using chopsticks. :'( It usually doesn't bother me to ask for a fork, but this is a first date and I feel weird showing up to this restaurant and eating with a fork. Should I tell him I want to eat somewhere else? Warn him about the chopstick issue (some people are weird about it and I don't want him to feel awkward at the restaurant)?

    If I knew him better and this wasn't our first date, I wouldn't care. I just don't want this to be any more awkward than first dates usually are.

    I have taken a girl on a first date to Benihana to eat Sushi and Tepanyaki, we had a lot of fun. She was shy like you about using chopsticks, but you see, this is half the fun. We like to show you how it's done, this is part of the experience for us and strokes our ego a little bit.

    My advice, don't be scared, be honest and tell your date that you love Sushi but don't really use chopsticks.
  • MarvinsAMartian
    MarvinsAMartian Posts: 236 Member
    I call that ice broken. Talk about it. If it's awkward it's awkward, but I say embrace it.
  • Lounmoun
    Lounmoun Posts: 8,423 Member
    relynne wrote: »
    I know I'm probably way overthinking this. So, I have a first date Wednesday night. He just messaged me to say that he made reservations at a fancy sushi place. I love sushi and this is one of my favorite restaurants so awesome, right? Here's the issue (and I know this sounds ridiculous)- I can't eat with chopsticks. I've tried many times, people have tried to teach me, I'm just stupid when it comes to using chopsticks. :'( It usually doesn't bother me to ask for a fork, but this is a first date and I feel weird showing up to this restaurant and eating with a fork. Should I tell him I want to eat somewhere else? Warn him about the chopstick issue (some people are weird about it and I don't want him to feel awkward at the restaurant)?

    If I knew him better and this wasn't our first date, I wouldn't care. I just don't want this to be any more awkward than first dates usually are.

    It isn't a big deal.
    Tell him you love sushi and it is a favorite restaurant of yours even though you are not dexterous enough to use chopsticks. Smile and don't act like it is a bad thing when you get a fork.
  • MrStabbems
    MrStabbems Posts: 3,110 Member
    Lounmoun wrote: »
    relynne wrote: »
    I know I'm probably way overthinking this. So, I have a first date Wednesday night. He just messaged me to say that he made reservations at a fancy sushi place. I love sushi and this is one of my favorite restaurants so awesome, right? Here's the issue (and I know this sounds ridiculous)- I can't eat with chopsticks. I've tried many times, people have tried to teach me, I'm just stupid when it comes to using chopsticks. :'( It usually doesn't bother me to ask for a fork, but this is a first date and I feel weird showing up to this restaurant and eating with a fork. Should I tell him I want to eat somewhere else? Warn him about the chopstick issue (some people are weird about it and I don't want him to feel awkward at the restaurant)?

    If I knew him better and this wasn't our first date, I wouldn't care. I just don't want this to be any more awkward than first dates usually are.

    It isn't a big deal.
    Tell him you love sushi and it is a favorite restaurant of yours even though you are not dexterous enough to use chopsticks. Smile and don't act like it is a bad thing when you get a fork.

    Say "I cant handle this chop stick but give me something bigger and im a pro! :wink:"

    If he looks at his food and is quiet for the rest of the date then nothing lost..
  • Motorsheen
    Motorsheen Posts: 20,508 Member
    just order a lot of expensive food.... then don't eat it; just push it around on your plate.

    Guys dig that.
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  • Deadman_Diggingup
    Deadman_Diggingup Posts: 3,082 Member
    You're kidding, yes? THIS is the thing that concerns you about dating? Look, let me fix this right quick. Look sheepishly at him with a bit of flirt in your eye and tell him you don't know how, and ask him to teach you. Dudes love to show when they know stuff and it will be endearing..... problem solved.
  • MrStabbems
    MrStabbems Posts: 3,110 Member
    You're kidding, yes? THIS is the thing that concerns you about dating? Look, let me fix this right quick. Look sheepishly at him with a bit of flirt in your eye and tell him you don't know how, and ask him to teach you. Dudes love to show when they know stuff and it will be endearing..... problem solved.

    Dude that PP and the giving of advice are perfect for each other. it's like ur saying "c'mere, listen up because I'm only gonna say this once" and leaning in
  • Deadman_Diggingup
    Deadman_Diggingup Posts: 3,082 Member
    MrStabbems wrote: »
    You're kidding, yes? THIS is the thing that concerns you about dating? Look, let me fix this right quick. Look sheepishly at him with a bit of flirt in your eye and tell him you don't know how, and ask him to teach you. Dudes love to show when they know stuff and it will be endearing..... problem solved.

    Dude that PP and the giving of advice are perfect for each other. it's like ur saying "c'mere, listen up because I'm only gonna say this once" and leaning in

    I'm old and possibly wise lol
  • Motorsheen
    Motorsheen Posts: 20,508 Member
    MrStabbems wrote: »
    You're kidding, yes? THIS is the thing that concerns you about dating? Look, let me fix this right quick. Look sheepishly at him with a bit of flirt in your eye and tell him you don't know how, and ask him to teach you. Dudes love to show when they know stuff and it will be endearing..... problem solved.

    Dude that PP and the giving of advice are perfect for each other. it's like ur saying "c'mere, listen up because I'm only gonna say this once" and leaning in

    He forgot to add: "Or Else."
  • pandainatrashbag
    pandainatrashbag Posts: 5 Member
    He'll think it's cute, ask him for help and bat your lashes ;P
  • JeromeBarry1
    JeromeBarry1 Posts: 10,179 Member
    If he's the sort of fellow who will only date twice a proficient chopsticker, ask for a fork and miso soup.
  • ParadigmShifter
    ParadigmShifter Posts: 289 Member
    People still go to restaurants on first dates?
  • Motorsheen
    Motorsheen Posts: 20,508 Member
    People still go to restaurants on first dates?

    where else would one go?

    not being snarky, I just haven't dated in 100 years
  • ParadigmShifter
    ParadigmShifter Posts: 289 Member
    Motorsheen wrote: »
    People still go to restaurants on first dates?

    where else would one go?

    not being snarky, I just haven't dated in 100 years

    Walks are the best. Cheap, refreshing, and energizing. You can see how the energy is between you two. Bars and restaurants have too many distractions. Depending on the food and how you feel after the meal (full and lethargic or light and energized) will play to your advantage or disadvantage.

    My best dates have been outside just walking around a lake or through a park. Dinner dates are maybe a 3rd or 4th date thing for me, if that even happens. I'd rather cook a meal together and see how we mesh in the kitchen.
  • Vikka_V
    Vikka_V Posts: 9,563 Member
    Motorsheen wrote: »
    People still go to restaurants on first dates?

    where else would one go?

    not being snarky, I just haven't dated in 100 years

    Walks are the best. Cheap, refreshing, and energizing. You can see how the energy is between you two. Bars and restaurants have too many distractions. Depending on the food and how you feel after the meal (full and lethargic or light and energized) will play to your advantage or disadvantage.

    My best dates have been outside just walking around a lake or through a park. Dinner dates are maybe a 3rd or 4th date thing for me, if that even happens. I'd rather cook a meal together and see how we mesh in the kitchen.

    100% agree, plus sitting at a table and eating and having to make conversation...or not...can be super awkward. I feel "on the spot" and trapped at the table inside a fishbowl (the restaurant). Walking around is a much better plan, nice and casual and doing something.
  • relynne
    relynne Posts: 387 Member
    MrStabbems wrote: »
    Lounmoun wrote: »
    relynne wrote: »
    I know I'm probably way overthinking this. So, I have a first date Wednesday night. He just messaged me to say that he made reservations at a fancy sushi place. I love sushi and this is one of my favorite restaurants so awesome, right? Here's the issue (and I know this sounds ridiculous)- I can't eat with chopsticks. I've tried many times, people have tried to teach me, I'm just stupid when it comes to using chopsticks. :'( It usually doesn't bother me to ask for a fork, but this is a first date and I feel weird showing up to this restaurant and eating with a fork. Should I tell him I want to eat somewhere else? Warn him about the chopstick issue (some people are weird about it and I don't want him to feel awkward at the restaurant)?

    If I knew him better and this wasn't our first date, I wouldn't care. I just don't want this to be any more awkward than first dates usually are.

    It isn't a big deal.
    Tell him you love sushi and it is a favorite restaurant of yours even though you are not dexterous enough to use chopsticks. Smile and don't act like it is a bad thing when you get a fork.

    Say "I cant handle this chop stick but give me something bigger and im a pro! :wink:"

    If he looks at his food and is quiet for the rest of the date then nothing lost..

    Not only is this awesome, it's totally true. ;)
  • relynne
    relynne Posts: 387 Member
    Crisis averted! We started talking about other favorite restaurants and he changed plans to a tapas restaurant. No chopsticks!
  • Motorsheen
    Motorsheen Posts: 20,508 Member
    Vikka_V wrote: »
    Motorsheen wrote: »
    People still go to restaurants on first dates?

    where else would one go?

    not being snarky, I just haven't dated in 100 years

    Walks are the best. Cheap, refreshing, and energizing. You can see how the energy is between you two. Bars and restaurants have too many distractions. Depending on the food and how you feel after the meal (full and lethargic or light and energized) will play to your advantage or disadvantage.

    My best dates have been outside just walking around a lake or through a park. Dinner dates are maybe a 3rd or 4th date thing for me, if that even happens. I'd rather cook a meal together and see how we mesh in the kitchen.

    100% agree, plus sitting at a table and eating and having to make conversation...or not...can be super awkward. I feel "on the spot" and trapped at the table inside a fishbowl (the restaurant). Walking around is a much better plan, nice and casual and doing something.

    my son took a girl to a park on Saturday with the intention of feeding the ducks.

    the ducks attacked.

    they would have been safer in a sushi bar
  • relynne
    relynne Posts: 387 Member
    Motorsheen wrote: »
    Vikka_V wrote: »
    Motorsheen wrote: »
    People still go to restaurants on first dates?

    where else would one go?

    not being snarky, I just haven't dated in 100 years

    Walks are the best. Cheap, refreshing, and energizing. You can see how the energy is between you two. Bars and restaurants have too many distractions. Depending on the food and how you feel after the meal (full and lethargic or light and energized) will play to your advantage or disadvantage.

    My best dates have been outside just walking around a lake or through a park. Dinner dates are maybe a 3rd or 4th date thing for me, if that even happens. I'd rather cook a meal together and see how we mesh in the kitchen.

    100% agree, plus sitting at a table and eating and having to make conversation...or not...can be super awkward. I feel "on the spot" and trapped at the table inside a fishbowl (the restaurant). Walking around is a much better plan, nice and casual and doing something.

    my son took a girl to a park on Saturday with the intention of feeding the ducks.

    the ducks attacked.

    they would have been safer in a sushi bar

    I thought it was sweet that he asked about what I liked and then made reservations based on that. That kind of thoughtfulness rarely seems to happen in the dating world or maybe I'm just dating the wrong guys.
  • Vikka_V
    Vikka_V Posts: 9,563 Member
    Motorsheen wrote: »
    Vikka_V wrote: »
    Motorsheen wrote: »
    People still go to restaurants on first dates?

    where else would one go?

    not being snarky, I just haven't dated in 100 years

    Walks are the best. Cheap, refreshing, and energizing. You can see how the energy is between you two. Bars and restaurants have too many distractions. Depending on the food and how you feel after the meal (full and lethargic or light and energized) will play to your advantage or disadvantage.

    My best dates have been outside just walking around a lake or through a park. Dinner dates are maybe a 3rd or 4th date thing for me, if that even happens. I'd rather cook a meal together and see how we mesh in the kitchen.

    100% agree, plus sitting at a table and eating and having to make conversation...or not...can be super awkward. I feel "on the spot" and trapped at the table inside a fishbowl (the restaurant). Walking around is a much better plan, nice and casual and doing something.

    my son took a girl to a park on Saturday with the intention of feeding the ducks.

    the ducks attacked.

    they would have been safer in a sushi bar

    Oh, no...poor kid, such a sweet intention. I've never seen ducks attack but Canada Geese...look out they will charge at you, I stay back.
  • ParadigmShifter
    ParadigmShifter Posts: 289 Member
    Motorsheen wrote: »
    Vikka_V wrote: »
    Motorsheen wrote: »
    People still go to restaurants on first dates?

    where else would one go?

    not being snarky, I just haven't dated in 100 years

    Walks are the best. Cheap, refreshing, and energizing. You can see how the energy is between you two. Bars and restaurants have too many distractions. Depending on the food and how you feel after the meal (full and lethargic or light and energized) will play to your advantage or disadvantage.

    My best dates have been outside just walking around a lake or through a park. Dinner dates are maybe a 3rd or 4th date thing for me, if that even happens. I'd rather cook a meal together and see how we mesh in the kitchen.

    100% agree, plus sitting at a table and eating and having to make conversation...or not...can be super awkward. I feel "on the spot" and trapped at the table inside a fishbowl (the restaurant). Walking around is a much better plan, nice and casual and doing something.

    my son took a girl to a park on Saturday with the intention of feeding the ducks.

    the ducks attacked.

    they would have been safer in a sushi bar

    What kind of bread was it?
  • Motorsheen
    Motorsheen Posts: 20,508 Member
    Vikka_V wrote: »
    Motorsheen wrote: »
    Vikka_V wrote: »
    Motorsheen wrote: »
    People still go to restaurants on first dates?

    where else would one go?

    not being snarky, I just haven't dated in 100 years

    Walks are the best. Cheap, refreshing, and energizing. You can see how the energy is between you two. Bars and restaurants have too many distractions. Depending on the food and how you feel after the meal (full and lethargic or light and energized) will play to your advantage or disadvantage.

    My best dates have been outside just walking around a lake or through a park. Dinner dates are maybe a 3rd or 4th date thing for me, if that even happens. I'd rather cook a meal together and see how we mesh in the kitchen.

    100% agree, plus sitting at a table and eating and having to make conversation...or not...can be super awkward. I feel "on the spot" and trapped at the table inside a fishbowl (the restaurant). Walking around is a much better plan, nice and casual and doing something.

    my son took a girl to a park on Saturday with the intention of feeding the ducks.

    the ducks attacked.

    they would have been safer in a sushi bar

    Oh, no...poor kid, such a sweet intention. I've never seen ducks attack but Canada Geese...look out they will charge at you, I stay back.

    Ha.

    I think they were actually Canadian Geese instead of ducks.

    Heck, it seems like half of Canada comes down here in the Winter, why not the geese too?

  • Motorsheen
    Motorsheen Posts: 20,508 Member
    Motorsheen wrote: »
    Vikka_V wrote: »
    Motorsheen wrote: »
    People still go to restaurants on first dates?

    where else would one go?

    not being snarky, I just haven't dated in 100 years

    Walks are the best. Cheap, refreshing, and energizing. You can see how the energy is between you two. Bars and restaurants have too many distractions. Depending on the food and how you feel after the meal (full and lethargic or light and energized) will play to your advantage or disadvantage.

    My best dates have been outside just walking around a lake or through a park. Dinner dates are maybe a 3rd or 4th date thing for me, if that even happens. I'd rather cook a meal together and see how we mesh in the kitchen.

    100% agree, plus sitting at a table and eating and having to make conversation...or not...can be super awkward. I feel "on the spot" and trapped at the table inside a fishbowl (the restaurant). Walking around is a much better plan, nice and casual and doing something.

    my son took a girl to a park on Saturday with the intention of feeding the ducks.

    the ducks attacked.

    they would have been safer in a sushi bar

    What kind of bread was it?

    I just asked him; he replied: Whole Wheat



    ... I don't blame the geese for attacking.