Please help

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Hello!!
I'm not sure if I'm looking for motivation or suggestions or both. I had great success last year using fitness pal and losing 20 pounds in 3 months. I did gain it all back.

My backstory: i weigh 317 pounds and have never been thin. Never been diagnosed with a medical condition but i haven't had a full blood work up since my 2 year old was born.
Started noticing i was big in jr high when i weighed 220 pounds. Graduated HS and gained 20 pounds. Married my husband and gained 20 more. The final 50 was after my son was born and i started birth control again. That weight gain was rapid and ridiculous.

Cut to now. This afternoon i spent half an hour crying while i cropped my stomach out of pictures taken of my son and i, so that i could post them on social media. I've never been this disgusted about myself. I had accepted that i am a big girl and usually have great self confidence. But i can't go on like this.

I know how to eat.
I feel like working out would be the only thing to change me. But i am exhausted ALL THE TIME. I work full time and barely find time for my child.
I feel like i am too far gone sometimes.
Can anyone help me?

Replies

  • Misskcm
    Misskcm Posts: 143 Member
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    Hi Graciegraves! So sorry to hear that you're kind of going through an emotional roller coaster right now. I think most would agree that we have felt this way at some point no matter what our highest weight was. There is always a turning point that makes us say "holy crap something has to change".
    The good thing is that you have reached that point. I'm going to add you and message you. And we can talk about whatever you want to.
  • Misskcm
    Misskcm Posts: 143 Member
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    No offence, but if you got to 317lbs your view of how to eat is not healthy. Putting on weight means you're eating too much. You need to eat less.

    Being in a calorie deficit will get you to lose weight, and this will mostly happen through food. Exercise will help create a bigger deficit, but is not necessary.

    Put your stats in to MFP, get a calorie goal for weight loss (I'd start with 2lbs a week), get yourself a food scale and start weighing and measuring everything you put in your mouth.

    She never said she has been eating correctly. She just said she knows how to. There's a big difference. I know I shouldn't drink 6 glasses of wine and have water instead but dammit sometimes I want that wine.
  • fluffygoodas
    fluffygoodas Posts: 30 Member
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    Darling you can do it! Believe me! I have SIX kids. Talk about exausted! But i have more energy since working out and eating healthy. I have always been big too and i will never not be plus size but it feels good to feel good ya know? Im here if u ever need to talk.
  • Misskcm
    Misskcm Posts: 143 Member
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    Hello!!
    I'm not sure if I'm looking for motivation or suggestions or both. I had great success last year using fitness pal and losing 20 pounds in 3 months. I did gain it all back.

    My backstory: i weigh 317 pounds and have never been thin. Never been diagnosed with a medical condition but i haven't had a full blood work up since my 2 year old was born.
    Started noticing i was big in jr high when i weighed 220 pounds. Graduated HS and gained 20 pounds. Married my husband and gained 20 more. The final 50 was after my son was born and i started birth control again. That weight gain was rapid and ridiculous.

    Cut to now. This afternoon i spent half an hour crying while i cropped my stomach out of pictures taken of my son and i, so that i could post them on social media. I've never been this disgusted about myself. I had accepted that i am a big girl and usually have great self confidence. But i can't go on like this.

    I know how to eat.
    I feel like working out would be the only thing to change me. But i am exhausted ALL THE TIME. I work full time and barely find time for my child.
    I feel like i am too far gone sometimes.
    Can anyone help me?

    Being tired all the time is caused by in activity. The more the move the more energy you have, the less you move the more tired and sluggish you feel.

    As for time you have to make time, you have to see yourself as a priority. Your son will thank you for it. I am a parent of 3 children with a stressful 50 hr a week job but I get up at 5.30am to exercise and prep my meals. There are many other parents on here that do the same.

    You have to strip away all your excuses.

    Don't worry about eating healthy, just start by eating less of what you already have in. What ever you eat make it fit your calories.

    I read a success thread last week that warmed my heart. It was by a lady who had lost enough weight to play with her son in the park, she got to go down the slide with him and even went on the monkey bars with him. Her son then went around and told every one that Mum had played with him in the park.

    You can do that, you just need to stick to them calories and stop the excuses. Good luck.

    I love this answer so much
    ❤️❤️
  • RuNaRoUnDaFiEld
    RuNaRoUnDaFiEld Posts: 5,864 Member
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    http://community.myfitnesspal.com/en/discussion/10562188/played-at-the-park-today#latest

    A link to the post I was talking about, I hope you find it as great as I did.
  • Fitness_and_FODMAP
    Fitness_and_FODMAP Posts: 72 Member
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    Misskcm wrote: »
    No offence, but if you got to 317lbs your view of how to eat is not healthy. Putting on weight means you're eating too much. You need to eat less.

    Being in a calorie deficit will get you to lose weight, and this will mostly happen through food. Exercise will help create a bigger deficit, but is not necessary.

    Put your stats in to MFP, get a calorie goal for weight loss (I'd start with 2lbs a week), get yourself a food scale and start weighing and measuring everything you put in your mouth.

    She never said she has been eating correctly. She just said she knows how to. There's a big difference. I know I shouldn't drink 6 glasses of wine and have water instead but dammit sometimes I want that wine.

    OP said she knows how to eat and feels the only thing that will change her is exercise - this suggests to me that she thinks her diet is ok. If her diet was ok, she wouldn't be making a post asking for help to lose weight.

    Exercise DOES change you - it changes your perception of food, it changes your attitude towards yourself, it changes your body shape and it changes your fitness levels ... Admittedly, if you're eating a crap diet you may lose pounds, but you won't be getting healthy, but OP was saying she knows how to eat and that exercise will change her and I totally get what she means - my profile picture is living proof that exercise changes you!

    Just because OP isn't eating right, doesn't mean she doesn't know how to eat right - some people want to get active and that will instinctively bring about healthier food choices, because you don't want to eat rubbish and ruin all your hard work, but others find it easier to work on their diet first, we're all very different.

    I exercise without fail, I was ill between October 2016 and January 2017, but I continued to do what I could to keep active, although my diet was awful at times; I'm a great believer that we all need to find what works for us - just because you find it easy to eat right and exercise, not everyone does - some people find the exercise easier than their diet (that's me) and others find their diet is easier than their exercise.
  • Misskcm
    Misskcm Posts: 143 Member
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    Misskcm wrote: »
    No offence, but if you got to 317lbs your view of how to eat is not healthy. Putting on weight means you're eating too much. You need to eat less.

    Being in a calorie deficit will get you to lose weight, and this will mostly happen through food. Exercise will help create a bigger deficit, but is not necessary.

    Put your stats in to MFP, get a calorie goal for weight loss (I'd start with 2lbs a week), get yourself a food scale and start weighing and measuring everything you put in your mouth.

    She never said she has been eating correctly. She just said she knows how to. There's a big difference. I know I shouldn't drink 6 glasses of wine and have water instead but dammit sometimes I want that wine.

    OP said she knows how to eat and feels the only thing that will change her is exercise - this suggests to me that she thinks her diet is ok. If her diet was ok, she wouldn't be making a post asking for help to lose weight.

    Exercise DOES change you - it changes your perception of food, it changes your attitude towards yourself, it changes your body shape and it changes your fitness levels ... Admittedly, if you're eating a crap diet you may lose pounds, but you won't be getting healthy, but OP was saying she knows how to eat and that exercise will change her and I totally get what she means - my profile picture is living proof that exercise changes you!

    Just because OP isn't eating right, doesn't mean she doesn't know how to eat right - some people want to get active and that will instinctively bring about healthier food choices, because you don't want to eat rubbish and ruin all your hard work, but others find it easier to work on their diet first, we're all very different.

    Exactly!! I am one of those people that has to work on each separately because if I workout really hard I feel like it's ok for me to eat a crappy meal. I eat better on days I don't workout. I also love to workout it's a great stress reliever, but I love terrible food. On the other hand I know I won't see much progress from my hard work if I don't eat correctly so it motivates me to eat right on most days.
    Everyone is different. Like you said.
    Good point my friend.
  • LisaMoxon155
    LisaMoxon155 Posts: 257 Member
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    Hello to mfp. Im so sorry to hear how ur feeling but you have done the first step,where u have regonised you need to do something. Take thin gs slowly.
    Start recordibg what u eat. Buy a set of food scales and then whatever u eat just start by having half of it. Ull soon realise u wont need so many calories but still have the foods u usually eat,just less of it. Make sure u have veg or salads with ur meals. Thry are filling and fewer calories.
    U have done MFP pal so ull be able to do it again.
    Add friends on here. Have a rant or put on ur staus and ull soon find support and motivation.
    As for spending time with ur little one. Maybe take him to the park or go feed the duck. Walk where u can instead of taking the car(if thats an option) then u burn calroies and spend tine with ur little boy.
    I wish u all the luck.
    Ive sent u friends request.
  • kommodevaran
    kommodevaran Posts: 17,890 Member
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    I would say your last time wasn't a success. Losing weight successfully means that you're keeping it off afterwards.

    Crying is good. It relieves stress. But maybe focus on you for a while and take a vacation from SoMe?

    "I know how to eat." I'd like to challenge that. I think you know how you're supposed to eat. You know, salads, no bread, no ice cream, chicken, brown rice and broccoli for dinner, no eating after 6 o'clock, cheat meals, willpower? To really know how to eat, you have to know how to eat in a way you like that doesn't distroy your health. This is something you'll stick to because you can and will. Because it is easy and feels good. Not because you think you should. It's such a big difference that many people never get.

    Now, about exercise. You don't have to exercise to lose weight. But moderate exercise is good for you. Exercise can help improve your appetite; you may notice that you crave more nutritious food and feel less hungry. You may feel more energized. If you want to exercise, you'll find time.

    You have to find time for you. You have to practice saying yes and saying no. You have to be able to care for your child. It's hard. But many good things are hard.
  • Graciegraves1989
    Graciegraves1989 Posts: 7 Member
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    Thanks so much everyone for the encouragement!!

    I should have clarified. I know HOW to eat to lose weight. I am obviously not doing that right now. I love fried and salty foods and i overeat. Food that tastes good is legit like drugs to me.
    But i understand what i am supposed to eat.

    I'm starting today. I'm hoping i can find enough accountability to actually make a life change this time.
  • Sheisinlove109
    Sheisinlove109 Posts: 516 Member
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    Msg me. Mine isn't working
  • edlanglais5
    edlanglais5 Posts: 172 Member
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    The battle, believe it or not, start in the mind and not the body. I was in the best shape of my life two years ago and gradually put on 30 lbs. I exercised daily thinking that would be the solution. I finally started watching my caloric intake and macros in the last 30 days and kept exercising. I have lost 10 lbs since.

    Exercise definitely gives you more energy. Focus on foods hat are high in protein and or fiber, and preferably lower in calories. These will satiate you the most. Make goals. Start a plan. Don't give up!
  • kimny72
    kimny72 Posts: 16,013 Member
    edited June 2017
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    OP, you don't have to eat "diet" food or "health" food. You don't have to go to the gym and spend an hour on a machine. If you use that sort of thing as an excuse, you have to change the way you think about losing weight.

    Set yourself up on mfp and get a calorie goal. Get a food scale. Give yourself a week or two to eat what you normally would, but just weigh it and log it. This will give you a good idea about how much you're eating and where it would be easy to make some changes. Start trying each week to get closer and closer to your calorie goal, tweaking stuff as you go. Cut back on high cal beverages. Eat a smaller portion of something then fill up the rest of the plate with veggies.try baking something in the oven rather than frying. Try using 1 TBL butter instead of 3.

    And if you have a bad moment where you say screw it and eat an entire bag of chips, tell yourself it's no big deal because everyone has weak moments, so you're just going to put it behind you and get back on track right now.

    Meanwhile, just move more. Pace around the house while you're talking on the phone. Dance around the living room. Walk up and down the driveway. Eventually you'll start to feel more comfortable and you can do 15 minute workouts on fitness blender or take a walk around the block every morning. You don't have to do everything, full power, on day one. That's how most people go wrong. Good luck!
  • DebLaBounty
    DebLaBounty Posts: 1,172 Member
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    Can you walk around the block during your lunch break, then eat lunch? I had a friend who started doing that, and she said it really helped clear her head, decreasing stress. She also said that she felt more energetic and less hungry after her walk. Can you take a 20 minute walk after you get home, before starting dinner? I've done that and really began to look forward to it.