So disappointed in myself.

I found that try to find something that makes working out fun. Most people hate to workout so find a physical activity you enjoy and start with that. Mountain biking, kayaking, hiking are all great workouts that get you moving but also allow you to explore new places. I know its hard but try not to think of it as working out or dieting but as getting happier and healthier. Find reasons to motivate you to work for it. Everyone has those days where they just don't feel like working out or eating right. Don't beat yourself up on those days just try to stay focused. Best of luck and if you want encouragement or support feel free to add me.

A key thing to remember is that you won't see changes right away, it's been around 6 months for me and I finally have reached my goal weight. At the time I felt like nothing was happening but following MFP and tracking everything over time makes a huge difference! Don't give up!

You tried MFP before! that is awesome, you are not starting over from zero, you already know how to access it, it's not a strange scary thing.

Breaking up with un-health is like leaving a bad relationship, you want to leave, but it will be hard, it will hurt, you will have to give up things and worse of all you will have to change (I hate change) . But over time with each fight in the bad relationship you start to build up more and more reason to leave, and one day staying is more painful then leaving. you don't have to start, you can choose to stand still, but you can also choose to start planning, start thinking about what could change. Why do you want to change why do you need to change.

Health is not all or nothing either, you don't have to commit to perfection, start with one small change, one small step.


My tough love tip, stop with the self depreciating talk, even if you don't believe it start framing your words more positively and in line with your goals. Yes you will have to change, and you will have to mourn the loss of eating what you want when you want, focus on what you will gain. if you talk about yourself (or your weight) as disgusting, you devalue yourself, and who would put in effort for something they don't value.

congrats on restarting your journey

It sounds like you have a goal of being thin. It also sounds like you acknowledge that achieving that goal will require changes to your lifestyle, but that you're finding it difficult to make those changes. This isn't surprising. Doing easy things, even things we know are not in our best interest ... is still easy. Making a change can be difficult, but that doesn't mean that it has to be a grind, all the time.

Most people who have experienced success making changes haven't done it by eating nothing but salads and working out all day every day. As has been mentioned above, motivation is fleeting. As has also been mentioned, trying to do everything all at once is not only unlikely to be productive, it's instead likely to be counterproductive. If you're exhausted and hate what you're eating, you're unlikely to continue.

Start small. Decide on one change, and make that change. It can be anything: park a few spots further away than necessary when you go someplace, have a side salad instead of fries, use the stairs instead of an escalator at the mall, whatever. Do that one thing until you're comfortable with it, and then introduce a new thing. Maybe you'll get to the point where you can tackle multiple changes at once. Habits are important, and can be difficult to change. For most of us, gradual is the way to go.

We do what feels good, and avoid what doesn't. Talk to anybody you know who runs regularly, but started doing it later in life as a means to the end of "getting in shape." Odds are, that person could describe their history with running something like this:

1. I hate running.
2. I can tolerate running.
3. I sort of like running.
4. I love running!
5. I, uh ... need running, and get a little squirrelly when I don't run.

Nobody, at least nobody that I know (myself included), starts at #5. Some people never get past #1, at least not with running. Riding a bike, doing Zumba or other group classes, whatever. If you find something you like doing, or at least don't actively dislike, you're more likely to continue. Same with food. You don't want to eat kale and tofu at every meal? Don't. Maybe seek out leaner meats to start with, then later less meat in general. Shift from fried foods to baked, or swap at least some snack food with fruit. Small changes, particularly ones that are overall pleasant, can pave the way for gradually bigger changes.

Finally, a side-note: Negative self-talk is powerful. It can have the insidious effect of discouraging positive change while simultaneously dismissing any positive changes you do make. Be mindful of that negative self-talk, and if you can't stop yourself from using it, maybe find someone who can help with that, as well. This kind of change is hard enough, without having to fend off a peanut gallery inside your own head.

$.02 from the cheap seats, and as ever your mileage may vary.

The struggle is real! I just finished up my master's degree AND you bet I gained nearly 20 lbs from the stress eating. You're not alone. The journey to fitness and health is never over, which is a better thing than it sounds. You always have an opportunity to start fresh, whatever that means for you. Don't think that you've failed - you haven't! The journey is ongoing. Start with small steps. Sometimes we backtrack and that's ok. Don't beat yourself up, just keep doing your best. If you hate exercise, find a type that's more efficient so that you can work just as hard but for not as long. It's what I do! I'm doing 21 Day Fix right now, all 30-minute works with some nice variety. And sometimes it's better to do the hard thing, go through the motions even though it sucks, because starting the workout in the first place is half the battle, amirite?

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Keep your goals small and take it meal by meal. Find an activity you really enjoy and decide whether you want to be active alone or with others. Do you want to be part of a class or will you be motivated to be active yourself? Do you think you could look after a dog? Not for everyone because they're a huge commitment but a dog would get you out walking every day and if you didn't walk it you know you'd be letting the dog down. You'd probably meet other dog owners so it not only becomes activity but Social as well.
If you don't log properly one day, just start again the next. Be honest with yourself about what you're eating and log everything. It's easy to forget to log drinks. But some drinks contain a lot of calories.
Find a buddy to help you through on the tough days, and think about it in terms of lifestyle change for the long term rather than a diet.

One of the best quotes floating around here that resonates with me is something like this:

You would agree that weighing 305 pounds is hard right? You are not happy with yourself right?

You would agree that losing weight is hard right? You will not be happy not eating EVERYthing you want right?

"Being fat is hard. Losing weight is hard. Pick your hard." If both paths are going to be hard, pick the one that gets you where you want to be instead of the one that keeps you in a hard place. Then suck it up, have a pity party the whole time if you want, but do it.

The other one is "You can have ANYTHING you want. You just cant have EVERYTHING you want." Thats life, dont act like you are the center of the uiverse and deserve everything you want. Learn from MFP - it is possible to have many of the foods you want, often. You just dont get everything the way you want. Suck it up.

Good luck. You are no different than anyone else. Change only happens when the pain of staying the same outweighs the pain of changing. Are you to that point yet? Do you want to wait until you are?

The way you talk about yourself and think about yourself (because thinking is essentially talking to yourself) is so important. Words shape reality. Like someone already said, why would you be inclined to take care of yourself if you don't value yourself. One way to think about changing this is to think about how you would react if someone else were to say those things to you. Most people wouldn't stick around long to listen to that kind of abuse. Or to think about what you would tell a dear friend or even a child if they were in your situation. It's unlikely you'd say such terrible things to them, so why is it ok to do that to yourself? It's not! If you can find a way to start being kinder to yourself, I think you may find yourself in a better mindset to make changes. One of my favorite quotes ever is this: "and i said to my body. softly. 'i want to be your friend.' it took a long breath. and replied, 'i have been waiting my whole life for this.'"

You are not alone. I gained some weight since last time I logged in. Now I'm back again. Believe me it's hard. I can use some motivation myself. So if you want, you can add me and we both can motivate each other.

Such incredible wisdom in these posts. If OP reads these and takes them to heart, she will succeed. I've lost 20 bs following these principles OP. You can also.

Set small goals for yourself! It's really about a lifestyle change and it's not easy to change overnight. I am finding it very difficult to stay motivated recently - not exercising as much and having a hard time staying at my calorie allowance. The beginning always seems extremely overwhelming. I can relate to not wanting to exercise or wanting to eat what I want without worrying about it. I've never been be type of person who enjoys working out! I have to kinda "force" myself. Baby steps. Feel free to add me as a friend