Low confidence

You'll get there! What seems to be your triggers? In addition to logging / weighing your food do you also journal? Sometimes it takes a while to get a bead on how things are currently "working" for you (as Dr. Phil says). If you don't know why things are happening, you can't make conscious decisions to change.

These are all great ideas. Set a realistic goal something small at first then gradually move up in setting another goal.
Training your brain is very important like meditation. You can train your brain to do whatever you want to do you just have to learn how. Look into it see what your thoughts are. It's worked for me and a lot of professional athletes and just regular Joe's.

I can fully sympathize. It's a war inside, a war between the part of me that is so tired of the stigma, the shame, and the part of me that doesn't want to change. Change is so very, very hard, especially when we're talking a lifestyle change! People say "you just need to develop discipline or motivation"; the problem is, I know where I need to be, in some cases I even know the path to get there, but my feet seem frozen in a quagmire and the will to actually start and keep with it I can't seem to find. How do you change your soul? Your will? Your inner desires?

I've tried losing weight off and on for years, and most of the time its been completely failure from the get-go; I can't even keep up a week before I'm sliding back into my old habits. I've tried various diets and exercise programs, tried to force myself to do them even when everything within me was fighting back and just did not want to do it; that worked for a little while, but in the end, the part of me that hated it won. I've learned that I can't force myself to do something I hate for long - the constant battle with myself wears me down, and eventually my willpower becomes exhausted and I can't fight any longer.

Other times, rarely, something seems to click and I start to have success. I'm in one of those "click" periods now. I've been logging since January and have had a good deal of success. But I'm very much afraid it won't last and I'll find myself sliding back into old habits, especially if I plateau - cause it has happened before. You get some folks who are fit or who have never struggled and they sit on their high horses and look down their noses and claim "it's easy; simply eat less and exercise more" or they say "if you'd just be more disciplined and stern with yourself, you'd lose the weight; you're just being lazy". And a part of me listens to these people and so I end up depressed and wondering what is wrong with me - I must be lazy. But in reality, these people have no idea what kind of war it is inside - it's not just being lazy; your whole body, heart, mind, and soul is fighting against you, because it's not just getting more active or eating less - weight loss, especially significant weight loss that is sustained, requires an entire change in worldview and in lifestyle, which means it requires a shift in thinking, in our emotions, and in our desires, and all of those things are incredibly, terribly difficult to change because you have spent a lifetime solidifying them into the person you are; it requires a change in our entire being. Just ask the drug addict or the alcoholic! Look how many of them fight their entire lives, taking 2 steps forward, falling back, and struggling to gain control over the desire and craving. Truthfully, obesity is the exact same way - its a fight that we have to fight our entire lives, and there's going to be victories and failures.

But you're on the right track! Like others said; you don't have to fight the entire war at once. I know that when you look at how far you have to go, it seems exhausting and like you'll never get there, and that little voice inside says "there's no point in trying; you'll never make; you might as well give up now". But a first step to success is to get to know yourself well, your thoughts your motivations, what works for you and what you think you can willingly maintain and the things that you know that you just can't. Be honest with yourself and be willing to compromise with yourself; then you can begin to tailor a method that will work for you. And that's what it comes down to - you've got to find a method that works for you, and that's truly individual to each and every one of us. I get tired of folks who find a method that works for them, and then they trumpet it across the internet as being the only thing that will work, and they insist that their way is the only way to be healthy, and if you'd just try it, you'll succeed. My brother was bad for doing that. Truth is, there are many different ways that will work - in the end, it really is less calories in than calories burned, but where that magic spot is is very unique to each of us, and there are many, many ways to get there.

So keep fighting, keep trying, but as others said, take it one step at a time (though I know that advice often chafes and seems to be patronizing lol) I know it's hard - there is tons of advice online, and I know I struggle with perception a lot; "I'm not doing this", or "I'm not watching that"; "I'm not doing a daily exercise routine like that", or "I'm not watching my macros" or "I'm eating too many carbs". In the end, though, those things just don't work for me because my heart and soul won't get on board with doing them. So I have to find something that my inner being will compromise with - I have to bring my heart and soul and mind to the negotiation table and find a way to declare a truce in that war, and just like in real life, those negotiations can be grueling. And then I just have to keep going, and not let myself be the stumbling block that causes me to slide back to the beginning. But that is the most difficult part of it all!

I am 5'1'' and reached 215 lbs at my heaviest. (Currently down to 176)
One thing that really helped me was to find an activity that I enjoy and can look forward to. For me that was lifting weights. It doesn't feel like a "chore", I'm not exercising to burn calories or lose weight. I'm doing it because I enjoy it. It has taken me a long time to get to this point, but I'm even more encouraged to continue to progress now.
Setting fitness/performance goals can give you something to look forward to that isn't related to the scale, and I feel it helps me stay on track. I went to the gym, it encourages me to eat better, etc.
I also struggled with low confidence when I started, but through making small improvements and striving to improve my lifting and myself (even if just one minute, one rep, one day at a time), I feel much more confident in myself. I reached my "goal weight" once before, and honestly I'm more confident in myself now even though I still have a lot of weight left to lose.
I've also met some great people during my time at the gym. It's really encouraging to me when someone waves or says hi. We have a common interest we can discuss, even if they're leaps and bounds ahead of me. And they notice when you make positive changes. Just yesterday someone I have never spoken to said "hey, you're here every day!" That made me feel pretty good.

Find something that keeps your interest. Maybe running - start out slow with walking, when that gets easy do run/walk intervals, etc. Hiking, golfing, swimming, push ups and sit ups at your house -anything to get you moving and focused on something positive.

cqbkaju wrote: »

@TresaAswegan is one of the people who puts in the work and is worth listening to.

If it was easy then about 1/3 of the population would not be fat.

Aw shucks
So true though, it's not easy. Doing the fitness thing really helps!

Great replies here! Slow and steady. You didn't gain overnight, you don't need to lose overnight. I've lost twelve pounds in 6 months. I'm happy with that as I've gotten to have some cheat days, eaten some big meals, and am starting to realize I don't need to be in a perpetual weight loss mode.

Using this ap I can take a break and put it on maintenance for a week or two. That's much better than derailing or blowing it. Once you get into the counting calories no matter what, you'll gain a lot of confidence in your ability to control what you eat. I'm also in the "Lose a calorie a week" challenge. While I don't lose a calorie a week I keep participating and this helps to keep my head in the game.

I am a recovering yo yo dieter. On January 1 I had 150 lbs to loose. This year I said enough! This is what I have done.

I made three small changes
1. Be kind to my self I'm worth it!
2. I try to make healthy choices with food and exercise. No diets nothing crazy didn't give anything up.
3. I track EVERY THING I eat and drink EVERY day! Good day bad days doesn't matter I track everything every day!

I have lost 50 lbs and I feel good.
You can do it just start small and slow!