So, uh... why do strangers keep telling me "good job" while running?
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TimothyFish wrote: »Bry_Lander wrote: »TimothyFish wrote: »I'm guessing it can vary a lot from one area to another. Living in Southern California, people usually avoid making eye contact with each other like their lives depend on it. When I visited Texas, I was floored by how friendly everyone was, even people just walking by. At first it felt really weird but then I realized- this is awesome!!!
It's not just Texas; it's pretty much the whole middle part of the country.
I was raised in the Midwest, where people generally don't acknowledge strangers. I joined the military and was stationed in the south, where I was shocked to find that everyone greeted and smiled at each other. I got used to this for a few years, and then returned to the Midwest, where people were annoyed when I greeted and smiled at them. I quickly returned to being a cold Midwesterner who minds his own business. True story
You must have had a different experience growing up in the Midwest than I did. When I lived there people were even friendlier than they are in Texas. It was the kind of place where people would wave at their neighbors, even if they had their backs turned, because they might turn around and see you before you get past.
My statement was about interacting with strangers. Everyone waves at and is friendly toward their neighbors and acquaintances, but no one in the Midwest yells "hey y'all" when they pass a stranger in the aisle of a grocery store.
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SuzySunshine99 wrote: »stanmann571 wrote: »nutmegoreo wrote: »Ironandwine69 wrote: »bikecheryl wrote: »"Runners" are the MOST supportive people I've ever met. I have literally had world class ultra marathoners take the time and the breathe to say good job to me during a race. Ok, they were passing me like I was standing still at the time but that really doesn't matter. We were sharing a path others can't or do not wish to follow. To me it's like a secret handshake - just grin, nod back and pass it along.
Us lifters should support each other more.
Starting tomorrow I'm gonna send kisses to all the dudes doing bicep curls!
I want to know how this went.
OP, I find the running community tends to be really supportive here and it's not uncommon for them to offer words of encouragement, particularly to new faces.
That's really the key. I'm on the trail 3-5 days a week at a couple different times. The usual suspects get a nod or a wave or good morning/evening--if I'm on a slower pace where I can spare the breath... but If I see a new face, I'm more likely to extend a "good job" or "looking good" or "keep at it"
If a guy I've never seen before says "looking good" to me on the trail, I'm reaching for my pepper spray
What's wrong with "hello"? I guess that's what I don't get.
Sometimes the point isn't a daily greeting- it's an acknowledgement of the work- a bonding over mutual toils.
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I hear this often and I don't think I look like I'm struggling. Other runners, walkers, cyclists on the trail - we all greet each other or say "nice work." I've been high fived a few times. I do live in a very friendly town, and also one that is very outdoor-oriented. I always took it as being part of the "outdoor fitness" tribe.1
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I've just started jogging, didn't get any words (although had headphones in) but got knowing smiles and head nods, I think that was quite nice. Maybe Americans are a bit more vocal than the British though, I'd probably be a bit perturbed if I got platitudinous random comments from several strangers though, it'd feel a bit surreal like being in the Truman show.2
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Bry_Lander wrote: »TimothyFish wrote: »Bry_Lander wrote: »TimothyFish wrote: »I'm guessing it can vary a lot from one area to another. Living in Southern California, people usually avoid making eye contact with each other like their lives depend on it. When I visited Texas, I was floored by how friendly everyone was, even people just walking by. At first it felt really weird but then I realized- this is awesome!!!
It's not just Texas; it's pretty much the whole middle part of the country.
I was raised in the Midwest, where people generally don't acknowledge strangers. I joined the military and was stationed in the south, where I was shocked to find that everyone greeted and smiled at each other. I got used to this for a few years, and then returned to the Midwest, where people were annoyed when I greeted and smiled at them. I quickly returned to being a cold Midwesterner who minds his own business. True story
You must have had a different experience growing up in the Midwest than I did. When I lived there people were even friendlier than they are in Texas. It was the kind of place where people would wave at their neighbors, even if they had their backs turned, because they might turn around and see you before you get past.
My statement was about interacting with strangers. Everyone waves at and is friendly toward their neighbors and acquaintances, but no one in the Midwest yells "hey y'all" when they pass a stranger in the aisle of a grocery store.
Gee. Why not? You mean they don't scream out "good job!!!!" when someone puts organic brown rice in their cart instead of Uncle Ben's? Gosh. They don't seem nice or supportive at all.
I used to hang out at the grocery store and either yell words of encouragement for healthy choices or heckle poor choices, until I was served with that stupid restraining order...5 -
" It's a way of saying, "I understand what you are going through. I know it's not easy. Congratulations on getting out there and doing it." [/quote]
This is exactly right. It is not meant to be patronizing, rather a show of solidarity. I would recommend accepting it in the spirit it was meant.
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My takeaway is that some people read a lot more into a simple compliment than was intended - and that the interpretation of said compliment probably has a lot to do with one's perception of oneself. We all view/filter things through our own lens.17
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I dont jog but usually give the head nod or say hi when I run into others while mountain biking. Everyone is in a good mood having fun and guess some people like to pass that to others. Unless they say it in a really sarcastic way I wouldn't be bothered.0
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In the south, this is standard behavior or just a nod of the head to acknowledge each other. I'm a mountain bike and we always speak to each other when we pass each other on the trail.0
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JohnnyLowCarb wrote: »Are you running with your biceps flexed? Maybe that explains it.
Lol. Running with one bicep flexed!0 -
A lot of people seem to be willfully confusing saying "hello" with praising someone for doing a "good job." One is a simple greeting. The other implies what we're doing out on that trail is work, and that we need encouragement.
My takeaway is that most people are comfortable with hearing a "hello" but feelings are mixed about receiving praise from strangers. If you actually want to be polite and friendly (and politeness includes considering the feelings of others), stick with "hi" and keep your thoughts about what kind of job somebody is doing to yourself.3 -
I don't think we are willfully confused so much as we just aren't really bothered by "good job" and choose to take it in a positive and inclusive light instead of negatively. I would have to really examine the tone of the comment before I chose to look at it as patronizing.3
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My 2 year old tells me "good job mom " all the time and some times even claps for me and it so damn cute but I swear I do feel she is patronizing me lmao2
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pawamonster wrote: »A lot of people seem to be willfully confusing saying "hello" with praising someone for doing a "good job." One is a simple greeting. The other implies what we're doing out on that trail is work, and that we need encouragement.
My takeaway is that most people are comfortable with hearing a "hello" but feelings are mixed about receiving praise from strangers. If you actually want to be polite and friendly (and politeness includes considering the feelings of others), stick with "hi" and keep your thoughts about what kind of job somebody is doing to yourself.
I've got a much better idea, those people who choose to get offended by someone being polite can continue to stew in their own negativity about how they don't "need praise" from a random stranger.
The rest of us can continue to be happy that others in this world want to add a little bit kindness, caring and consideration for others.
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pawamonster wrote: »A lot of people seem to be willfully confusing saying "hello" with praising someone for doing a "good job." One is a simple greeting. The other implies what we're doing out on that trail is work, and that we need encouragement.
What we're doing on the trail *IS* work, and just because you don't want or need encouragement doesn't mean others don't.
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pawamonster wrote: »A lot of people seem to be willfully confusing saying "hello" with praising someone for doing a "good job." One is a simple greeting. The other implies what we're doing out on that trail is work, and that we need encouragement.
My takeaway is that most people are comfortable with hearing a "hello" but feelings are mixed about receiving praise from strangers. If you actually want to be polite and friendly (and politeness includes considering the feelings of others), stick with "hi" and keep your thoughts about what kind of job somebody is doing to yourself.
I've got a much better idea, those people who choose to get offended by someone being polite can continue to stew in their own negativity about how they don't "need praise" from a random stranger.
The rest of us can continue to be happy that others in this world want to add a little bit kindness, caring and consideration for others.
Hear, Hear!1 -
pawamonster wrote: »A lot of people seem to be willfully confusing saying "hello" with praising someone for doing a "good job." One is a simple greeting. The other implies what we're doing out on that trail is work, and that we need encouragement.
My takeaway is that most people are comfortable with hearing a "hello" but feelings are mixed about receiving praise from strangers. If you actually want to be polite and friendly (and politeness includes considering the feelings of others), stick with "hi" and keep your thoughts about what kind of job somebody is doing to yourself.
I'm not willfully confused about anything. I generally find that people tend to be kind and helpful in many situations, not just in outdoor exercise activities. The good job is a recognition of effort FFS. I don't understand how so many presume a nefarious purpose to it.3 -
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I used to honestly think people were jerks, & would say "f you!!" Back @ them lol but don't take my advice.. People mean well now days, I swear0
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I normally only ever get "the nod" or a hello/good morning. But if people are praising me I might not notice because I have earbuds in. Honestly if someone said something like that to me, I would assume it's because I'm fat and people like to encourage fat people to run or whatever. But, I'm a paranoid, anxious, jaded human being.
I will say there have been a few times when I've seen people running or working out and giving it their all and I've WANTED to tell them they're kicking a** but I didn't because I'm awkward.0 -
cdhrscamaro wrote: »I used to honestly think people were jerks, & would say "f you!!" Back @ them lol but don't take my advice.. People mean well now days, I swear
If you did that to me I'd let you know I was only trying to be encouraging (and tell you to go f yourself ). I'd no doubt let others I run with know as well which would then make entering the group (assuming you'd want to of course) a bit more awkward. 0 -
meganridenour wrote: »I normally only ever get "the nod" or a hello/good morning. But if people are praising me I might not notice because I have earbuds in. Honestly if someone said something like that to me, I would assume it's because I'm fat and people like to encourage fat people to run or whatever. But, I'm a paranoid, anxious, jaded human being.
I will say there have been a few times when I've seen people running or working out and giving it their all and I've WANTED to tell them they're kicking a** but I didn't because I'm awkward.
I solemnly swear to the best of my ability to refrain from talking negatively about myself as well as other grrrls.
I am an equal amongst my peers, and see myself as neither better than, nor less than.
Through this pledge of none-judgment, I understand and embrace that I am having a positive impact on the world and furthering the global revolution of body acceptance.2
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