I am so frustrated with my weight loss.
thieambe
Posts: 41 Member
My husband and I have been overweight since we met, and it got worse once we were together. We were fast food junkies and I'm a serious sugar addict. Anyway, enough was enough after we had our son, so back in January we started CrossFit. For three months straight we were going a minimum of 3 days a week, kicking butt and doing well. Our diet didn't change much, so of course aside from some obvious toning, the weight wasn't coming off.
Last month, we knew that if we wanted to see real changes, the diet had to follow. So after the abrupt decision, we started Whole30 the next day. (Anyone unfamiliar with Whole30, it's pretty simple: real food. No gluten, grains, dairy, or sugar. Kind of like Paleo but no natural sweeteners either.)
We did a complete 180 overnight, going from eating about 2,000 to 3,000 calories of fast food a day and instead raw fruit, veggies, chicken, steak, water, etc. We didn't eat out at all.
My husband loved it. He started losing inches and weight like crazy. I, however, despite eating the same things he was, barely budged. After the second week I felt terrible: lethargic, angry, grumpy, exhausted. So on day 23 I made the decision to add Whole Wheat bread back into my diet, and almost instantly I felt better. My husband stuck it out until yesterday when it was finally over, and here were the results:
Husband's Starting Weight: 275
Husband's End Weight: 245
It was awesome for him. He is also down a pant size and looks amazing.
My Starting Weight: 245
My End Weight: 237 as of this morning.
So. Yeah, I'm frustrated. I know I was smaller to begin with and women have a harder time with it, but while people *said* it looked like I'd lost some inches, nothing fit better, either. I ate the exact same way he did, and all I did the last week was add in Whole Wheat Bread and some creamer with my coffee. Whoa.
My doctor wants me to get blood work done because he thinks there's something else going on, but I haven't done it yet because I really don't want to see that the results are fine and it's just me. (Not to mention, I had it done a few years ago, and as far as I remember, everything was fine.)
What am I doing wrong, guys? I KNOW the Whole30 is not about weight loss, but when you're considered obese like me, it's pretty normal to see better results.
*We're going to stick with the healthy eating, obviously, but ugh.*
Also, please be as kind as you can. I already feel stupid as it is.
Last month, we knew that if we wanted to see real changes, the diet had to follow. So after the abrupt decision, we started Whole30 the next day. (Anyone unfamiliar with Whole30, it's pretty simple: real food. No gluten, grains, dairy, or sugar. Kind of like Paleo but no natural sweeteners either.)
We did a complete 180 overnight, going from eating about 2,000 to 3,000 calories of fast food a day and instead raw fruit, veggies, chicken, steak, water, etc. We didn't eat out at all.
My husband loved it. He started losing inches and weight like crazy. I, however, despite eating the same things he was, barely budged. After the second week I felt terrible: lethargic, angry, grumpy, exhausted. So on day 23 I made the decision to add Whole Wheat bread back into my diet, and almost instantly I felt better. My husband stuck it out until yesterday when it was finally over, and here were the results:
Husband's Starting Weight: 275
Husband's End Weight: 245
It was awesome for him. He is also down a pant size and looks amazing.
My Starting Weight: 245
My End Weight: 237 as of this morning.
So. Yeah, I'm frustrated. I know I was smaller to begin with and women have a harder time with it, but while people *said* it looked like I'd lost some inches, nothing fit better, either. I ate the exact same way he did, and all I did the last week was add in Whole Wheat Bread and some creamer with my coffee. Whoa.
My doctor wants me to get blood work done because he thinks there's something else going on, but I haven't done it yet because I really don't want to see that the results are fine and it's just me. (Not to mention, I had it done a few years ago, and as far as I remember, everything was fine.)
What am I doing wrong, guys? I KNOW the Whole30 is not about weight loss, but when you're considered obese like me, it's pretty normal to see better results.
*We're going to stick with the healthy eating, obviously, but ugh.*
Also, please be as kind as you can. I already feel stupid as it is.
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Replies
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Having unrealistic expectations? 8 pounds IS 8 pounds.6
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So do you know what you calorie intake is supposed to be? Eating like him doesn't sound right because MEN usually need more calories than females. And men just naturally lose more than females do when it comes to weight loss due to differential in hormones.
Also how long was this? A month?
A.C.E. Certified Personal and Group Fitness Trainer
IDEA Fitness member
Kickboxing Certified Instructor
Been in fitness for 30 years and have studied kinesiology and nutrition
10 -
8 pounds in a month? I think for MFP standards this an aggressive losing rate.10
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You haven't once mentioned counting calories or being in a deficit. Calories are what matters for weight loss. I could eat the same food as my husband and end up the size of a house due to my ability to eat more than I need quite easily. He's more active than me due to work, is a man, and naturally needs more calories just to survive.
I did a whole 90 and gained weight. The types of foods you eat aren't going to change whether you lose or gain - you need to determine your calorie goal for weight loss, then get a food scale and weigh all solids, measure all liquids, and accurately log everything you put in your mouth.7 -
8lb loss in a month is an amazing loss!!
Stop comparing yourself to your husband, everyone's body's are different and what works for him won't necessarily work for you. But an 8lb loss is nothing to be sniffed at!! Another 8lb loss next month will take you to over a stone!! Keep at it6 -
When I say eating like my husband, it was pretty much like this:
1-2 Steamed Chicken Breasts, a steak for dinner (sometimes), a salad with more veggies, and maybe a banana (or two, if we were feeling like fatties).
So, if anything, we were under-eating.
There's only so many chicken breasts and salads you can eat in a day to eat too much, I think, but I could be wrong.
Maybe starvation mode? Though I keep hearing that's a myth. So.0 -
8lb loss in a month is an amazing loss!!
Stop comparing yourself to your husband, everyone's body's are different and what works for him won't necessarily work for you. But an 8lb loss is nothing to be sniffed at!! Another 8lb loss next month will take you to over a stone!! Keep at it
You had the kindest answer. Thank you.2 -
kommodevaran wrote: »Having unrealistic expectations? 8 pounds IS 8 pounds.
When you're 245 pounds I guess I did have "unrealistic" expectations.2 -
So do you know what you calorie intake is supposed to be? Eating like him doesn't sound right because MEN usually need more calories than females. And men just naturally lose more than females do when it comes to weight loss due to differential in hormones.
Also how long was this? A month?
A.C.E. Certified Personal and Group Fitness Trainer
IDEA Fitness member
Kickboxing Certified Instructor
Been in fitness for 30 years and have studied kinesiology and nutrition
When I say eating like my husband, it was pretty much like this:
1-2 Steamed Chicken Breasts, a steak for dinner (sometimes), a salad with more veggies, and maybe a banana (or two, if we were feeling like fatties).
So, if anything, we were under-eating.
There's only so many chicken breasts and salads you can eat in a day to eat too much, I think, but I could be wrong.
Maybe starvation mode? Though I keep hearing that's a myth. So.0 -
bluets2011 wrote: »8 pounds in a month? I think for MFP standards this an aggressive losing rate.
They offer a two-pound a week option...0 -
The foods people need for energy and satiety can vary from person to person. I'm vegetarian and, while I feel better since I started paying attention to my protein and consciously trying to hit my target, I'd be miserable if I went low-carb. Maybe Whole 30 isn't for you. I mean, even if you'd lost more weight, being "lethargic, angry, grumpy, and exhausted" just isn't worth it.
I eat healthy-ish, watching my protein and iron, making room for moderate treats, and controlling portions. I haven't cut any foods out, I've started exercising, and the weight is dropping.
It's a good idea for you to eat the way you plan to keep eating even after you've reached goal. Unless you're planning to be gluten-free, grain-free, etc. for the rest of your life, it's not great to do it for weight-loss. Many people who go that route end up putting it all back when they reach goal and resume their old eating habits.
Don't be so quick to dismiss your doctor's recommendation. If the results are fine, that's great. But if there is something going on, I think you'll be in better shape if you find out now.3 -
So do you know what you calorie intake is supposed to be? Eating like him doesn't sound right because MEN usually need more calories than females. And men just naturally lose more than females do when it comes to weight loss due to differential in hormones.
Also how long was this? A month?
A.C.E. Certified Personal and Group Fitness Trainer
IDEA Fitness member
Kickboxing Certified Instructor
Been in fitness for 30 years and have studied kinesiology and nutrition
When I say eating like my husband, it was pretty much like this:
1-2 Steamed Chicken Breasts, a steak for dinner (sometimes), a salad with more veggies, and maybe a banana (or two, if we were feeling like fatties).
So, if anything, we were under-eating.
There's only so many chicken breasts and salads you can eat in a day to eat too much, I think, but I could be wrong.
Maybe starvation mode? Though I keep hearing that's a myth. So.
No fat? Whole 30 encourages a certain amount of fat at each of your 3 meals...
And you lost weight, which means you were in a deficit to lose 2lbs a week whether you calculated it or not!2 -
livingleanlivingclean wrote: »You haven't once mentioned counting calories or being in a deficit. Calories are what matters for weight loss. I could eat the same food as my husband and end up the size of a house due to my ability to eat more than I need quite easily. He's more active than me due to work, is a man, and naturally needs more calories just to survive.
I did a whole 90 and gained weight. The types of foods you eat aren't going to change whether you lose or gain - you need to determine your calorie goal for weight loss, then get a food scale and weigh all solids, measure all liquids, and accurately log everything you put in your mouth.
I guess you're not supposed to count calories while doing it, but I did the first few days. A couple chicken breasts, a steak for dinner sometimes, a baked potato, salad/carrots/sugar snap peas, and if we were feeling extra crazy maybe a banana.
These are generally low-calorie foods I though :-/0 -
livingleanlivingclean wrote: »So do you know what you calorie intake is supposed to be? Eating like him doesn't sound right because MEN usually need more calories than females. And men just naturally lose more than females do when it comes to weight loss due to differential in hormones.
Also how long was this? A month?
A.C.E. Certified Personal and Group Fitness Trainer
IDEA Fitness member
Kickboxing Certified Instructor
Been in fitness for 30 years and have studied kinesiology and nutrition
When I say eating like my husband, it was pretty much like this:
1-2 Steamed Chicken Breasts, a steak for dinner (sometimes), a salad with more veggies, and maybe a banana (or two, if we were feeling like fatties).
So, if anything, we were under-eating.
There's only so many chicken breasts and salads you can eat in a day to eat too much, I think, but I could be wrong.
Maybe starvation mode? Though I keep hearing that's a myth. So.
No fat? Whole 30 encourages a certain amount of fat at each of your 3 meals...
And you lost weight, which means you were in a deficit to lose 2lbs a week whether you calculated it or not!
Ah yes, we did cook the meat in Grape Seed or Coconut Oil.0 -
estherdragonbat wrote: »The foods people need for energy and satiety can vary from person to person. I'm vegetarian and, while I feel better since I started paying attention to my protein and consciously trying to hit my target, I'd be miserable if I went low-carb. Maybe Whole 30 isn't for you. I mean, even if you'd lost more weight, being "lethargic, angry, grumpy, and exhausted" just isn't worth it.
I eat healthy-ish, watching my protein and iron, making room for moderate treats, and controlling portions. I haven't cut any foods out, I've started exercising, and the weight is dropping.
It's a good idea for you to eat the way you plan to keep eating even after you've reached goal. Unless you're planning to be gluten-free, grain-free, etc. for the rest of your life, it's not great to do it for weight-loss. Many people who go that route end up putting it all back when they reach goal and resume their old eating habits.
Don't be so quick to dismiss your doctor's recommendation. If the results are fine, that's great. But if there is something going on, I think you'll be in better shape if you find out now.
Thank you very much.0 -
So I guess you all have a valid point. I was losing two pounds a week and that's great. I got very caught up in comparing myself to my husband. Thank you all.3
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kommodevaran wrote: »Having unrealistic expectations? 8 pounds IS 8 pounds.
^^this.
You've lost weight! I promise I'm not being snarky, I just genuinely don't understand why you are disappointed. 8 lbs in 30 days is roughly 2 lbs a week/give or take. Sounds like you were right on track. You're 8 lbs lighter than you were, you should be happy about this!
Also, men need more calories than women generally, so if his intake is close to yours, that explains why he lost faster. It's definitely not "starvation mode" (which is a myth, you are right). I think you need to adjust your mindset a bit. Your expectations are waaaay too high here. You had success! Rejoice in that!
Comparison is the thief of joy. His bigger loss doesn't invalidate your loss. His will eventually slow down. Expecting huge losses super quickly IS unrealistic. Weight loss is not going to be a fast process, trust me on this. You're going to need patience, commitment, patience, patience, patience, trust...and did I mention patience?
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you did amazing with losing 8 pounds....on average 1 pound a week is healthiest and is maintable for the long run...so don't be so hard on your self...google pictures of what 1 pound of fat loss looks like...you may feel better about it...and with how you feel on whole 30...everybody feels different on different ways of eating....for me i need carbs...i can't understand how people do low carb or keto...i would feel week....
I would invest in a digital good scale and start track your food in grams...it may seem over whelming at first but it becomes habit and easier...and you will be shocked how much cals you can over consume by eyeballing1 -
My husband and I have been overweight since we met, and it got worse once we were together. We were fast food junkies and I'm a serious sugar addict. Anyway, enough was enough after we had our son, so back in January we started CrossFit. For three months straight we were going a minimum of 3 days a week, kicking butt and doing well. Our diet didn't change much, so of course aside from some obvious toning, the weight wasn't coming off.
Last month, we knew that if we wanted to see real changes, the diet had to follow. So after the abrupt decision, we started Whole30 the next day. (Anyone unfamiliar with Whole30, it's pretty simple: real food. No gluten, grains, dairy, or sugar. Kind of like Paleo but no natural sweeteners either.)
We did a complete 180 overnight, going from eating about 2,000 to 3,000 calories of fast food a day and instead raw fruit, veggies, chicken, steak, water, etc. We didn't eat out at all.
My husband loved it. He started losing inches and weight like crazy. I, however, despite eating the same things he was, barely budged. After the second week I felt terrible: lethargic, angry, grumpy, exhausted. So on day 23 I made the decision to add Whole Wheat bread back into my diet, and almost instantly I felt better. My husband stuck it out until yesterday when it was finally over, and here were the results:
Husband's Starting Weight: 275
Husband's End Weight: 245
It was awesome for him. He is also down a pant size and looks amazing.
My Starting Weight: 245
My End Weight: 237 as of this morning.
So. Yeah, I'm frustrated. I know I was smaller to begin with and women have a harder time with it, but while people *said* it looked like I'd lost some inches, nothing fit better, either. I ate the exact same way he did, and all I did the last week was add in Whole Wheat Bread and some creamer with my coffee. Whoa.
My doctor wants me to get blood work done because he thinks there's something else going on, but I haven't done it yet because I really don't want to see that the results are fine and it's just me. (Not to mention, I had it done a few years ago, and as far as I remember, everything was fine.)
What am I doing wrong, guys? I KNOW the Whole30 is not about weight loss, but when you're considered obese like me, it's pretty normal to see better results.
*We're going to stick with the healthy eating, obviously, but ugh.*
Also, please be as kind as you can. I already feel stupid as it is.
Me and 1 of my friends, females, started MFP in Jan. and lost a steady 2lbs a week, at first. As time went on the losses got to be more like 1lb. a week. Our MALE co worker joined and lost 10lbs. the first 4 days!! His loss has slowed some now and he got 1900 cals a day as opposed to our 1200. Men and women are different. Don't compare yourself to him, just run your own race, you are winning with an 8lb loss the first month! Congrats and keep it up 2 -
You guys are wonderful. I needed the silly pep talk, thank you so much.7
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I would just like to add, my doctor says that a woman should aim for 8 lbs loss per month...you are doing well. 1
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I found the whole 30 to be a great reset of habits and palette change. It helped me give soda up completely where I was having multiple cans of diet soda a day. I lost about 10 lbs but that wasn't my goal. My goal was to see how certain a foods were affecting me. Now, it was time to count calories and stay within a deficit. This is easier now that I have knew habits and know that I can fit whatever I really want into my calories. For me, a really good sandwich is higher on my list than pasta. The key is to eat the foods you really want and pass on foods that aren't worth it. It's also about being kind to yourself. I posted something earlier this weekend that I will try to find and post for you.2
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HappyAnna2014 wrote: »I would just like to add, my doctor says that a woman should aim for 8 lbs loss per month...you are doing well.
I hope that's not all women.... I think I'd have to chain myself to a treadmill and nibble celery sticks to do that!4 -
livingleanlivingclean wrote: »HappyAnna2014 wrote: »I would just like to add, my doctor says that a woman should aim for 8 lbs loss per month...you are doing well.
I hope that's not all women.... I think I'd have to chain myself to a treadmill and nibble celery sticks to do that!
And just like that the celery fad diet is born.9 -
Found it. I wrote this in response to a poster asking what foods you should avoid but it really sums up my entire weightloss philosophy.
1. High calorie foods you don't love. That's easy.
2. Do you have trigger foods? Foods that you have to keep eating until it's gone? Cut those out for awhile until you develop new habits then see how you do when you introduce them.
3. Made room for something in your calories that left you hungrier than before you ate it? That may be a food that doesn't work well for you. It might be something that blows your daily allowance and isn't sustainable if you want to lose weight. Limit that.
4. Are you finding foods that make you feel gross, foggy, sick? This should be easy but we don't always treat ourselves the way we deserve. In these cases, I imagine that I am a small child. As an adult, would I give that to my child if I knew it would make them sick? Nope! This works when you start really respecting your body and self. Not always easy for those already struggling with weight loss but it gets easier the more you see yourself as someone of worth.
People say weight loss is strictly CICO. That's techically correct but we aren't robots. We're human beings and some foods make it hard for us to stay within a deficit for a variety of reasons. My best advice is don't be extreme and be kind to yourself. You won't get a medal for never eating a cookie again nor will you reach your goal weight if you decide that you will only have 1200 calories of cookies a day and nothing else. While it would technically be possible to do, no one is going to do that long term. It's all about learning to eat within your daily allowance, feeling good, and allowing mistakes without giving up.1 -
It's not silly. There's a lot of crazy advice out there about losing mega amounts of weight overnight. It really screws with our expectations on what healthy, sustainable weight loss really looks like.
Maybe you need to decide what you REALLY want to accomplish: quick short term losses which are certainly possible but almost always unsustainable or permanent change? The latter is going to require you to learn new skills and spend a LOT OF TIME making them permanent habits. And don't be so quick to swear that you want long term loss, your choice of a 30 day drastic diet change suggests that you're looking for a quick fix. I suggest really searching your heart for what you're truly prepared to commit to. In my opinion, this is the single most important step for you to take. I say this not to be hurtful, but with a true desire for you to succeed.
If you want long term success, you need to figure out a realistic eating plan that you can live with over the long run. That will mean adding in the foods you enjoy eating (even the junky fast food) but doing it in a way that fits your calories whether in a deficit to lose weight, at maintenance, or in a surplus to gain weight (it probably sounds crazy right now, but the day may come where you want to gain weight so you can build muscle).
And by the way, it would be easy to feel a tinge of disappointment when you compare yourself to your husband, but try really hard not to do it. You are two completely different human beings. Celebrate your success and his equally. You're on the road to better health. Congratulations to you both.4 -
Your husband lost 30lbs in a month?!0
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livingleanlivingclean wrote: »So do you know what you calorie intake is supposed to be? Eating like him doesn't sound right because MEN usually need more calories than females. And men just naturally lose more than females do when it comes to weight loss due to differential in hormones.
Also how long was this? A month?
A.C.E. Certified Personal and Group Fitness Trainer
IDEA Fitness member
Kickboxing Certified Instructor
Been in fitness for 30 years and have studied kinesiology and nutrition
When I say eating like my husband, it was pretty much like this:
1-2 Steamed Chicken Breasts, a steak for dinner (sometimes), a salad with more veggies, and maybe a banana (or two, if we were feeling like fatties).
So, if anything, we were under-eating.
There's only so many chicken breasts and salads you can eat in a day to eat too much, I think, but I could be wrong.
Maybe starvation mode? Though I keep hearing that's a myth. So.
No fat? Whole 30 encourages a certain amount of fat at each of your 3 meals...
And you lost weight, which means you were in a deficit to lose 2lbs a week whether you calculated it or not!
Ah yes, we did cook the meat in Grape Seed or Coconut Oil.
Did you log/count the oil in your calories?1 -
Fantastic job!! In a short month, you've made a serious commitment to regular fitness and eating healthier. You've started to change habits you've likely had for quite some time. AND you lost an amazing 8 lbs to boot! 1-2 lbs/week weight loss is totally admirable and wise. Doing more than 2lbs per week is usually not encouraged except under some special circumstances.
And all of this while raising a child! Way to go, and way to be a great role model.4 -
Start counting the calories. I buy frozen chicken breasts but there is such a variation in size the only accurate way I know how much I am eating is to weigh my portion on a digital scale and log the calories here on MFP. Same for other foods. Bananas vary in size, a smallish apple is actually 2 servings if you weigh it. See how easy it is to overeat even the good food? A baked potato is good but again the size varies and you could be eating double the calories you need. The reason I like the MFP program is that I can build in for treats, don't have to eliminate any foods that I really like. Just limit them to serving size, and log the calories. The hardest part for me is getting a handle on the serving sizes. It takes a while to get in the habit of weighing everything. Don't compare yourself to anyone else. It really is not a competition but is all about you. As others have said, men need more calories than women to maintain. Good luck on your continued weight loss journey. You are off to a good start with 8 lbs gone!1
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