what would you tell someone who....

perkymommy
perkymommy Posts: 1,642 Member
edited November 19 in Motivation and Support
has an overweight/obese child? Going on what you've learned on your weight loss journey and you were asked for advice on how to help a child lose weight - what would you tell them? Would you give them ideas on how to help the child lose weight or just how to feed them healthier/exercise until they can get to an age to learn to lose weight on their own?

Replies

  • Penthesilea514
    Penthesilea514 Posts: 1,189 Member
    Chef_Barbell wrote: »
    I'd tell them to ask their pediatrician for recommendations.

    That's one slippery slope I want no parts of.

    This. It's hard enough to talk about weight loss with adults, but throwing in perceived issues with parenting? I am don't want get involved, just a recipe for disaster. If they don't ask, I keep my mouth shut. If they do ask, I would refer to a pediatrician.
  • hesn92
    hesn92 Posts: 5,966 Member
    Just to serve healthy meals with appropriate serving sizes and to be more active as a family. And to talk to their pediatrician.
  • lemurcat12
    lemurcat12 Posts: 30,886 Member
    Chef_Barbell wrote: »
    I'd tell them to ask their pediatrician for recommendations.

    That's one slippery slope I want no parts of.

    Good answer.
  • everher
    everher Posts: 909 Member
    mrsnattybulking wrote: »
    My son is heavy for his age, and I'd tell him nothing. I lead by example by making healthier choices... not interested in giving him a food complex but he's just chubby so I'm hoping he'll lean out as he grows. We walk all over the place and he has a pretty active daily life but he favors calorie dense choices compared to his petite sister who is the opposite.

    I think this is really all you can do as a parent. I became overweight as a preteen, but my mother (and my pediatrician) thought it best not to say anything just to make sure I got plenty of activity and my mother provided balanced meals. I'm sure the hope and thought process was that I would eventually slim up a bit.

    I didn't (at least not without dieting), but I don't think there's anything that could have been done differently that wouldn't have led to extreme damage to my psyche.
  • Enjcg5
    Enjcg5 Posts: 389 Member
    Did they ask you for advice? If not- zip it. Not your monkey, not your circus!
  • Unknown
    Unknown
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  • Lounmoun
    Lounmoun Posts: 8,423 Member
    perkymommy wrote: »
    has an overweight/obese child? Going on what you've learned on your weight loss journey and you were asked for advice on how to help a child lose weight - what would you tell them? Would you give them ideas on how to help the child lose weight or just how to feed them healthier/exercise until they can get to an age to learn to lose weight on their own?

    Tell them to talk to their child's doctor about what is normal growth for their child and what the child needs in terms of nutrition/calories/activity.
  • Need2Exerc1se
    Need2Exerc1se Posts: 13,575 Member
    If they were close enough to ask me such a question I'd answer as honestly as I could by telling them that they should start planning more activities as a family to keep the child active and provide healthy meals and limit snacks.
  • Motorsheen
    Motorsheen Posts: 20,508 Member
    I would keep my mouth shut unless asked and even then I would temper my response.
  • Christine_72
    Christine_72 Posts: 16,049 Member
    I'd say it's totally up to the parent, they're the ones buying the food and feeding their kids. So it has to start at home with the care giver.
  • tomteboda
    tomteboda Posts: 2,171 Member
    We would have to be pretty close to have a discussion on the topic of their children's health, I think. Bringing such a thing up with an acquaintance would be excessively bad manners.

    If these were children with whom I interacted on any regular basis, I would make a conscious effort to model healthy behaviors and spend a little extra time with them engaging in active things like rollerblading or park hikes or coming tasty and healthy food. Children never suffer when adults in their lives are loving and attentive and helpful, and good manners are kept when you keep judgmental opinions to yourself.
  • H_Ock12
    H_Ock12 Posts: 1,152 Member
    I would tell them to enroll the kid in a physically active sport and limit its calorie intake...without mentioning it to the child.
  • JeromeBarry1
    JeromeBarry1 Posts: 10,179 Member
    The kid has to care. When I was 11 I was the 2nd fattest kid in class and I wanted to be the fattest. Kids don't always understand things the way grownups do.

    My grownup parents made no serious effort to explain health and fitness to me. They didn't know about it. Dad had been a long-distance runner in his youth and his ideas were to advise that I train the way he trained, by wrapping a log chain around my legs and running with that. And then he never provided a log chain. I'd tag along with my father to his manual labor job weekends and Summer days. His co-workers nicknamed me "Heavy Duty".
    I had very few adults in my life who made any effort to teach me about healthy eating and fitness, and by the time I cared about it, at the age of 14, I was ignorant, did it wrong, and totally messed up.
  • cturner1967
    cturner1967 Posts: 3 Member
    perkymommy wrote: »
    has an overweight/obese child? Going on what you've learned on your weight loss journey and you were asked for advice on how to help a child lose weight - what would you tell them? Would you give them ideas on how to help the child lose weight or just how to feed them healthier/exercise until they can get to an age to learn to lose weight on their own?

    BE LOVING AND SUPPORTIVE. I would tell them to start by talking to their pediatrician and do lots of research. As a parent of a morbidly obese child, I can tell you that even pediatricians don't have great answers. However, they CAN order tests that can indicate if there is an underlying medical reason for the way the child's body is treating food. Insulin resistance is one possible reason. There are others.

    Our pediatrician advised AGAINST my child losing weight because it was more important to ensure that she was getting enough nutrients. I couldn't get the pediatrician to take the issue seriously until I kept a food log and showed the doctor that the log showed that she was not eating too much - to get the pediatrician to understand that something was wrong. We now see a pediatrician who specializes in childhood obesity. So, parents may not get the support they need there. No one wants to calculate a child's BMI or put them on specific diets. Parents have to work hard to get this kind of support. I am currently battling my local gym to be able to take my child there to workout - she is too young, you see.

    By the way, FEEDING a child is NOT abuse. NOT feeding a child IS abuse. Neither children nor their parents can control how their bodies are metabolizing the stuff that passes for food these days.

    I can't tell you how many times I've had to talk to friends about feeding my kid junk when they are shoveling it at their own kids. My kid eats better and healthier than her peers but I don't have custody 100% of the time, the school is full of junk, her friend's houses are full of junk, and as long as it is someone else's kid - people like to sit around and point fingers.
  • perkymommy
    perkymommy Posts: 1,642 Member
    edited July 2017
    Chef_Barbell wrote: »
    I'd tell them to ask their pediatrician for recommendations.

    That's one slippery slope I want no parts of.


    What if the pediatrician doesn't do anything about it when you take her in to be seen? This is not my biological child but I am helping to raise her full time. I know her mom used to encourage a very unhealthy lifestyle and let her eat as much of whatever she wanted as a little kid. I'm referring to a 9 year old child that weighs almost 120 lbs (117 currently). Nothing works. We can cut back on portion sizes and cut down on snacking and nothing works. She has been overweight since she was a toddler. She can be sedentary and doesn't like to go outdoors and has to be forced to go out and play and move around - but I'm not sure it's not some genetic issue that has been passed through her family. Even with no exercise a child should have some metabolism that would keep them from being as big as her.

    The pediatrician does tests and says she healthy at each yearly physical and says get her moving and feed her better, that's it. Even specialists have told us that. She never loses weight no matter how active we get her to be or how much we cut back on her food. She's ofcourse way too young still to understand how dangerous it is to be at her weight so we can't make her understand. All we can do is show her how to eat proper amounts of foods and try to keep her active. Doctor's will not help. I don't think she is going to grow out of it because she's only gotten worse. Her legs have grown outward due to all the weight she is carrying around. :( We even tried to 'maintain' her weigh starting when she was around 100-110 hoping by teenage years she would grow in to her weight and that doesn't work. She still gains. She can eat great all week and still gain.
  • perkymommy
    perkymommy Posts: 1,642 Member
    edited July 2017
    cturner1967 wrote: »
    perkymommy wrote: »
    has an overweight/obese child? Going on what you've learned on your weight loss journey and you were asked for advice on how to help a child lose weight - what would you tell them? Would you give them ideas on how to help the child lose weight or just how to feed them healthier/exercise until they can get to an age to learn to lose weight on their own?

    BE LOVING AND SUPPORTIVE. I would tell them to start by talking to their pediatrician and do lots of research. As a parent of a morbidly obese child, I can tell you that even pediatricians don't have great answers. However, they CAN order tests that can indicate if there is an underlying medical reason for the way the child's body is treating food. Insulin resistance is one possible reason. There are others.

    Our pediatrician advised AGAINST my child losing weight because it was more important to ensure that she was getting enough nutrients. I couldn't get the pediatrician to take the issue seriously until I kept a food log and showed the doctor that the log showed that she was not eating too much - to get the pediatrician to understand that something was wrong. We now see a pediatrician who specializes in childhood obesity. So, parents may not get the support they need there. No one wants to calculate a child's BMI or put them on specific diets. Parents have to work hard to get this kind of support. I am currently battling my local gym to be able to take my child there to workout - she is too young, you see.

    By the way, FEEDING a child is NOT abuse. NOT feeding a child IS abuse. Neither children nor their parents can control how their bodies are metabolizing the stuff that passes for food these days.

    I can't tell you how many times I've had to talk to friends about feeding my kid junk when they are shoveling it at their own kids. My kid eats better and healthier than her peers but I don't have custody 100% of the time, the school is full of junk, her friend's houses are full of junk, and as long as it is someone else's kid - people like to sit around and point fingers.

    This is our situation as well. How old is your child if you don't mind me asking? What is their weight? I shared just above about my stepchild. She is age 9 and 117 lbs. Nothing works with her and her pediatrician doesn't worry at all. She treats her like any other kid when we take her in for well visits. Just says make sure she eats proper portions and exercises. She hates doing anything active so that's a struggle but we do make sure she eats proper amounts of food. When it comes to a 9 year old though it's tough. You can't make a child that age understand the possible health issues that can arise from obesity and make them understand that eating better and exercising will help if they would just stick to it. She's been caught sneaking food and overeats on weekends when not at home with her dad and I. :( She wants what every other kids wants which is normal for all kids to do. We can't watch her every single move in other words. Not possible. It would be great to have more support but there isn't any out there. And family doesn't help because they feel sorry for her and say let her eat what she wants because they are overweight and don't see that she isn't just overweight, she's obese, and it could potentially be life threatening if her weight gain doesn't slow down at some point.
  • Chef_Barbell
    Chef_Barbell Posts: 6,644 Member
    perkymommy wrote: »
    Chef_Barbell wrote: »
    I'd tell them to ask their pediatrician for recommendations.

    That's one slippery slope I want no parts of.


    What if the pediatrician doesn't do anything about it when you take her in to be seen? This is not my biological child but I am helping to raise her full time. I know her mom used to encourage a very unhealthy lifestyle and let her eat as much of whatever she wanted as a little kid. I'm referring to a 9 year old child that weighs almost 120 lbs (117 currently). Nothing works. We can cut back on portion sizes and cut down on snacking and nothing works. She has been overweight since she was a toddler. She can be sedentary and doesn't like to go outdoors and has to be forced to go out and play and move around - but I'm not sure it's not some genetic issue that has been passed through her family. Even with no exercise a child should have some metabolism that would keep them from being as big as her.

    The pediatrician does tests and says she healthy at each yearly physical and says get her moving and feed her better, that's it. Even specialists have told us that. She never loses weight no matter how active we get her to be or how much we cut back on her food. She's ofcourse way too young still to understand how dangerous it is to be at her weight so we can't make her understand. All we can do is show her how to eat proper amounts of foods and try to keep her active. Doctor's will not help. I don't think she is going to grow out of it because she's only gotten worse. Her legs have grown outward due to all the weight she is carrying around. :( We even tried to 'maintain' her weigh starting when she was around 100-110 hoping by teenage years she would grow in to her weight and that doesn't work. She still gains. She can eat great all week and still gain.

    Get a second opinion. Something is not right.
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