I have 150 lbs to lose.

I feel really intimidated really,
I have always struggled with my weight, I'm not sugar coating it I have no self control and I've ruined my body, coming in at around 315 lbs.
It's an awful circle of wanting to fix yourself but not knowing where to start, I tried loving the body I have but I make myself feel physically sick.

I hate how whiny this sounds but what I'm really trying to ask is how do you do it. Not small amounts of weight loss, I'm talking to the other real big people out there.

Can we help one and other?

Replies

  • Kathleen_Presnell
    Kathleen_Presnell Posts: 38 Member
    I'm 256 pounds...need to lose 150 myself. You are not alone. I just came back to do this right! Cut out your carbs, cut off all white stuff, flour, sugar and pasta. I'm on day 11 now. I feel better already. I hate what my body looks like but I know that I am beautiful and will be gorgeous in the end!!!! Add me as a friend. Walk this journey together. Start off by using this app every day. Document everything. Learn about portion control. Plan your meals. Don't worry about exercising in the beginning till you get off of sugar. Don't buy crap. Buy veggies, eat eggs, check out my meals I eat. I'm not perfect but I am trying and getting better each day. Don't skip meals. Eat cheese, protein and weight your food. Eat lots of veggies and salads. No purchased dressing. Drink water. I'm bad about that one! Don't blame yourself anymore. Today is a new day. You can do this. We can do this.

    Don't be afraid. If you mess up...stop yourself and start over. Each day is new. Document your bad stuff too and don't continue. You will feel like *kitten* when you get off of sugar...I did. I got headaches. After 10 days I started to feel better. Check out materials on Somersize diet or South Beach Diet. I'm doing South Beach Diet.

    We can do this....go to the library and check out the book or go online and read what they say about the South Beach Diet plan. Diets work if you stick with them.

    Kathleen Presnell
    Young Adult Librarian
    who loves food, cooking and now being healthy is my goal!

  • Kyraoko123
    Kyraoko123 Posts: 2 Member
    edited June 2017
    Hello, I am 280lb with 130lbs to lose. I had 2 kids in my early 40s and I would like to still be around for a while but my test results for all the things that go wrong when you are overweight aren't great. Not terrible but certainly not great.

    My doctor wants me to do gastric surgery and I am terrified of the concept. This is my last chance to avoid it. I always start out strong but fall apart as time passes. I hope to stick it out this time.

    I would be happy to try to do this with you.
  • Bobbie8786
    Bobbie8786 Posts: 202 Member
    I have 100 pounds to lose (I'm down 20, so now it is more like 80). I have to say I disagree with the post above that you have to radically cut things from your diet. I eat pretty much whatever I want within the calorie goals I have that day. You have to find what works for you. Some people are able to completely eliminate certain food groups from their life and be fine, I did the low carb thing and lasted approximately 2 months before going completely insane and eating every carb I could get my hands on. The big key for me was understanding this is going to be a long journey with bumps along the way. I don't get crazy with exercise either. I go for a 1/2 hour walk every day and if I can fit more exercise in then I do. If you are a very disciplined person, then maybe a really strict diet and intense workout program is for you. I work full time, go to school and have a family to take care of, so I am just trying to cut my calories and get some exercise and "un-eat" this elephant one bite at a time.
  • calderoakmikel1
    calderoakmikel1 Posts: 12 Member
    Hello Everyone, I am at 229, I need to get down to 175. I can totally identify with you Sian, I tried to love the body that I have and it only did more harm than good. I gain more weight instead of losing it. I think is normal to be afraid. I am afraid that I am going to start this again, like I had so many times before and I am going to give up. The thing is that there is no right way to get this right, we all have our struggles and we all will get to our goal as long as we keep trying. Is not failure as long as you keep trying.
  • Siansiansiansian
    Siansiansiansian Posts: 10 Member
    I've lost exactly this amount, it takes a ton of will power and focus. It always feels impossible but the reality of it is, it's not. If you want it, you can do it. It just takes time, my advice would be to jump right in, the best time to start is anytime. You can do it!

    That's insane, you look incredible.
    I hope you are super proud of yourself.
    I took you advice and started instantly and I'm already down 5lbs. n_n
  • Siansiansiansian
    Siansiansiansian Posts: 10 Member
    I'm 256 pounds...need to lose 150 myself. You are not alone. I just came back to do this right! Cut out your carbs, cut off all white stuff, flour, sugar and pasta. I'm on day 11 now. I feel better already. I hate what my body looks like but I know that I am beautiful and will be gorgeous in the end!!!! Add me as a friend. Walk this journey together. Start off by using this app every day. Document everything. Learn about portion control. Plan your meals. Don't worry about exercising in the beginning till you get off of sugar. Don't buy crap. Buy veggies, eat eggs, check out my meals I eat. I'm not perfect but I am trying and getting better each day. Don't skip meals. Eat cheese, protein and weight your food. Eat lots of veggies and salads. No purchased dressing. Drink water. I'm bad about that one! Don't blame yourself anymore. Today is a new day. You can do this. We can do this.

    Don't be afraid. If you mess up...stop yourself and start over. Each day is new. Document your bad stuff too and don't continue. You will feel like *kitten* when you get off of sugar...I did. I got headaches. After 10 days I started to feel better. Check out materials on Somersize diet or South Beach Diet. I'm doing South Beach Diet.

    We can do this....go to the library and check out the book or go online and read what they say about the South Beach Diet plan. Diets work if you stick with them.

    Kathleen Presnell
    Young Adult Librarian
    who loves food, cooking and now being healthy is my goal!

    I don't like the idea of cutting out certain food completely as I think it would drive me over the edge and back on to bad habits.
    I'd love to see your journey with this choice and life style so I have added you if that is okay :)
  • Siansiansiansian
    Siansiansiansian Posts: 10 Member
    Kyraoko123 wrote: »
    Hello, I am 280lb with 130lbs to lose. I had 2 kids in my early 40s and I would like to still be around for a while but my test results for all the things that go wrong when you are overweight aren't great. Not terrible but certainly not great.

    My doctor wants me to do gastric surgery and I am terrified of the concept. This is my last chance to avoid it. I always start out strong but fall apart as time passes. I hope to stick it out this time.

    I would be happy to try to do this with you.

    It sounds like you have a strong amount of will power and a good drive this time.
    I think they great thing about this site is the fact we are all here for the same reason and can give support to one and other through this struggle.
  • Siansiansiansian
    Siansiansiansian Posts: 10 Member
    Bobbie8786 wrote: »
    I have 100 pounds to lose (I'm down 20, so now it is more like 80). I have to say I disagree with the post above that you have to radically cut things from your diet. I eat pretty much whatever I want within the calorie goals I have that day. You have to find what works for you. Some people are able to completely eliminate certain food groups from their life and be fine, I did the low carb thing and lasted approximately 2 months before going completely insane and eating every carb I could get my hands on. The big key for me was understanding this is going to be a long journey with bumps along the way. I don't get crazy with exercise either. I go for a 1/2 hour walk every day and if I can fit more exercise in then I do. If you are a very disciplined person, then maybe a really strict diet and intense workout program is for you. I work full time, go to school and have a family to take care of, so I am just trying to cut my calories and get some exercise and "un-eat" this elephant one bite at a time.

    I relate to you so much right now,
    I have cut down portion size incredibly, untill you actually record what you eat it's insane to realize how easy it is to consume way over the recommended amount.
    I enjoy food and I still want to enjoy food but with restraint.
    Good luck Bobbie :)
  • Siansiansiansian
    Siansiansiansian Posts: 10 Member
    Hello Everyone, I am at 229, I need to get down to 175. I can totally identify with you Sian, I tried to love the body that I have and it only did more harm than good. I gain more weight instead of losing it. I think is normal to be afraid. I am afraid that I am going to start this again, like I had so many times before and I am going to give up. The thing is that there is no right way to get this right, we all have our struggles and we all will get to our goal as long as we keep trying. Is not failure as long as you keep trying.

    You are speaking so much sense, and your are right, this is terrifying in every sense.
    And the hardest thing is having to battle this alone and being scared of failing [again and again]
    But I would love to help you out and if you ever need a pep talk drop me a message so even when you feel alone and scared. Always know you are not :)
  • firef1y72
    firef1y72 Posts: 1,579 Member
    600 days ago I weighed in at 289.5lb and had 140lb+ to lose, today I weigh 161lb and have just 11lb until I reach my first target. How did I get here? One day at a time. Yes it does take work and patience but it's not impossible.

    The first thing to do is take your mindset away from the 150lb and on to something smaller and more easily accomplished. Sure keep that 150lb as your ultimate goal but set yourself smaller short, long and mid term goals. So your short term goal could be to lose 10lb, mid term could be 10% of your bodyweight and long term 50lb. As you pass the short and mid term goals then you can reset them and then you should be hitting goals on a regular basis which is great incentive to keep going.

    Next I would simply start by logging everything you eat for around a week, this gives you a good idea of where you're starting from and it helped me be a little more mindful of whether foods were worth eating (and I lost the first 4lb without even trying).

    The next step is to plug your details in and decide what rate of loss you're going to go for, it's tempting to go aggressive, but I set mine to 1lb/week. I have to admit I lost much more than that, but with that rate of loss I had a good cushion if I did have a binge day. You don't have to starve yourself to lose weight, especially if you're in the morbidly obese category, I have very rarely gone below 1800 Calories and probably average out at around 2000. I also haven't banned any foods, as you go on you'll learn which foods are worth the Calories (peanut butter magnum) and which aren't (KFC snack box). I also find if I totally ban a food that just makes me want it more, so if it fits in my Calories I'll eat it, if it doesn't fit in my Calories and I really want it I'll do something active so it does fit (I am known for walking/running around the village)

    As you start to lose the weight you're going to be able to be far more active, some people don't like them but I loved my Fitbit, it allowed me to see how active I wasn't and then slowly increase my steps and activity level. As with food I started by just wearing it for a week and then once I had a baseline I started increasing my targets steps by 100 a day until I was above 10000 steps *(started <3000), and now I take anything from 20-50000 steps a day and ran/walked my first half marathon a month ago.

    I'd also suggest incorporating some kind of resistance training, preferably heavier, compound lifting. That's one thing I really do wish I'd started much earlier. I was doing some resistance training but no where nearly as heavy as I could have.
  • JeromeBarry1
    JeromeBarry1 Posts: 10,179 Member
    edited June 2017
    Write everything down in your food diary. Weigh everything. Log it honestly, accurately, and completely. Do this, and you'll discover what you are doing to make yourself obese, and you will discover some things you can change to reverse that process. The secret key to everything about this is your food diary. Use it for knowledge and knowledge is power.

    @Siansiansiansian Stay with us. You are not alone.
  • JustRobby1
    JustRobby1 Posts: 674 Member
    edited June 2017
    It does not matter if the amount of weight you need to lose is large or small, the dynamic is both the same and incredibly simple at it's core: move more and eat less. It really does not get any more complicated than that.

    Step one is determining your TDEE (total daily energy expenditure). This is number of calories you burn per day just being alive. The following site has a pretty straightforward way to accomplish this: http://damnripped.com/tdee-calculator.To be safe, set you activity level to sedentary. This will give you some wiggle room.

    Next select approximately 500 calories or so below this number as a daily calorie limit for yourself. What comes next is just a matter of logging daily here at MFP and being meticulous in how you log. Anything that passes your lips which contains calories must be logged. Diet soda, water, sparkling beverages, etc. that contain no calories you can leave out. Don't worry at all about macros at this juncture (fats, sugar, protein, etc). Eat whatever you want but stay within your calorie limit. Fad diets that are macro specific and "eating clean" WONT make you lose more weight in the long run. Being in a calorie deficit will.

    That is pretty much all there is to it. Like I said, it's really not particularly complicated. Your average 3rd grader could probably figure it out. What most people have a problem with is two fold; one being consistency and the other being willpower. This I can't help you with other than to say you have to reach the point where your program and your goals become a priority in your life. Most humans are creatures of habit, so while it will seem tough at first, after a couple of months it will be a piece of cake. Your program will become the new normal.
  • MelodyBronson
    MelodyBronson Posts: 67 Member
    Sian,

    So many of us are currently in "your shoes" or have been there.....I have been inspired by reading all of the replies to your post. You can do this.....we can do this.....We are all on this journey together and the journey doesn't stop once the weight is lost.....our journey continues because the majority of us must make permanent changes in the way we eat in order to keep our weight off......I have about 100 lbs to lose as well......I am 57 years old and it is a struggle for me to lose weight.....sometimes I just want to give up....but I have to tell myself that losing that one pound in a week after working so hard is better than gaining one pound.....So I keep on going ..... 1 pound or even 1/2 pound.....at times I get lucky and lose 2 pounds!! Everyone has posted great advice....read through them and take what works best for you........I have faith and confidence in you.....the first big step was your post.....You got this!!
  • kzooyogi
    kzooyogi Posts: 121 Member
    Regardless of how much a person has to lose, we all have to do it one pound at a time. Breathe deep, have compassion for yourself, and take it one pound at a time. xoxo
  • DaniMerc72
    DaniMerc72 Posts: 188 Member
    I have about 90 to lose, and I'm just getting started myself. The best advice I have is to take it one day at a time, (Hell, sometimes I take it one meal at a time, or one hour at a time!) and don't beat yourself up if you slip into old habits sometimes. It's really easy to get intimidated and frustrated, but start with small goals and be patient with yourself. Stay focused, and know that no matter how small the steps, you are taking them. Good luck, you can do this!!
  • badgerpam22
    badgerpam22 Posts: 182 Member
    I have anywhere between 70-110 lbs to lose, so feel free to add me, I will be here a while (:
  • JustRobby1
    JustRobby1 Posts: 674 Member
    4) while its certainly true that you can eat whatever you want as long as you stay under your calorie limit and still lose weight,

    I actually tested this theory in a rather extreme fashion back at the beginning of 2017. You can read more about this here: http://www.myfitnesspal.com/blog/supaflyrobby1/view/the-junk-food-diet-seriously-932018

    Robust and very informative post for the newbie BTW!
  • Jazzberry91
    Jazzberry91 Posts: 74 Member
    I have to lose over 100. My current goal is going to be to cut the processed carbs (white bread, white pasta, etc) and focus more on the good carbs (whole grains, brown rice, etc). I am trying to work on bringing in more veggies and fruit (fruit has many carbs but they are the good carbs, not bad, and good sugar, not bad sugar). My biggest problems right now are emotional eating and diet soda.

    Please feel free to add me! The most I have ever lost at one time was a little over 50 lbs but I have gained all that back plus some (post pregnancy).

    Anyone can feel free to add me :)
  • bmeadows380
    bmeadows380 Posts: 2,981 Member
    4) while its certainly true that you can eat whatever you want as long as you stay under your calorie limit and still lose weight,

    I actually tested this theory in a rather extreme fashion back at the beginning of 2017. You can read more about this here: http://www.myfitnesspal.com/blog/supaflyrobby1/view/the-junk-food-diet-seriously-932018

    Robust and very informative post for the newbie BTW!

    Interesting blog! This is actually my second time around, so to speak - back in 2012, I managed to lose 90 lbs, but packed it back on due to thyroid problems mostly. Last time, I focused purely on calories in versus calories out; this time around, I'm focusing on healthier eating and keeping my sugar intake reasonable. Both methods resulted in lost weight, so I agree with you - a calorie is a calorie is a calorie, which is simply a fuel measure. And losing the weight itself is a health benefit. I can say, however, that I feel better this time around, and the food choices I'm making are helping me feel fuller longer.

    I also agree with the commentator after your post: I wonder more of what the long term affect of eating such a diet would be? We do have many folks in society who eat a poor diet and have poor health markers yet are lean and within their BMI. In any case, I completely agree with you - fads come and go, and the macros are praised then vilified in the next breath......sort of like eggs and milk - one day they're good for you; the next they're horrible! lol
  • Siansiansiansian
    Siansiansiansian Posts: 10 Member
    firef1y72 wrote: »
    600 days ago I weighed in at 289.5lb and had 140lb+ to lose, today I weigh 161lb and have just 11lb until I reach my first target. How did I get here? One day at a time. Yes it does take work and patience but it's not impossible.

    The first thing to do is take your mindset away from the 150lb and on to something smaller and more easily accomplished. Sure keep that 150lb as your ultimate goal but set yourself smaller short, long and mid term goals. So your short term goal could be to lose 10lb, mid term could be 10% of your bodyweight and long term 50lb. As you pass the short and mid term goals then you can reset them and then you should be hitting goals on a regular basis which is great incentive to keep going.

    Next I would simply start by logging everything you eat for around a week, this gives you a good idea of where you're starting from and it helped me be a little more mindful of whether foods were worth eating (and I lost the first 4lb without even trying).

    The next step is to plug your details in and decide what rate of loss you're going to go for, it's tempting to go aggressive, but I set mine to 1lb/week. I have to admit I lost much more than that, but with that rate of loss I had a good cushion if I did have a binge day. You don't have to starve yourself to lose weight, especially if you're in the morbidly obese category, I have very rarely gone below 1800 Calories and probably average out at around 2000. I also haven't banned any foods, as you go on you'll learn which foods are worth the Calories (peanut butter magnum) and which aren't (KFC snack box). I also find if I totally ban a food that just makes me want it more, so if it fits in my Calories I'll eat it, if it doesn't fit in my Calories and I really want it I'll do something active so it does fit (I am known for walking/running around the village)

    As you start to lose the weight you're going to be able to be far more active, some people don't like them but I loved my Fitbit, it allowed me to see how active I wasn't and then slowly increase my steps and activity level. As with food I started by just wearing it for a week and then once I had a baseline I started increasing my targets steps by 100 a day until I was above 10000 steps *(started <3000), and now I take anything from 20-50000 steps a day and ran/walked my first half marathon a month ago.

    I'd also suggest incorporating some kind of resistance training, preferably heavier, compound lifting. That's one thing I really do wish I'd started much earlier. I was doing some resistance training but no where nearly as heavy as I could have.

    Your story is so incredible!
    I feel motivated just reading it, I hope you are super proud of yourself, I don't know you but I'm super proud of you.
    You lost at the right pase for you and it is so easy to get wrapped up in the idea of being size 10 by Christmas when frankly it doesn't work like that.
    Thank you for letting me into your world and for all the tips I will definitely take on board!
  • Siansiansiansian
    Siansiansiansian Posts: 10 Member
    Sian,

    So many of us are currently in "your shoes" or have been there.....I have been inspired by reading all of the replies to your post. You can do this.....we can do this.....We are all on this journey together and the journey doesn't stop once the weight is lost.....our journey continues because the majority of us must make permanent changes in the way we eat in order to keep our weight off......I have about 100 lbs to lose as well......I am 57 years old and it is a struggle for me to lose weight.....sometimes I just want to give up....but I have to tell myself that losing that one pound in a week after working so hard is better than gaining one pound.....So I keep on going ..... 1 pound or even 1/2 pound.....at times I get lucky and lose 2 pounds!! Everyone has posted great advice....read through them and take what works best for you........I have faith and confidence in you.....the first big step was your post.....You got this!!

    It is really lovely having this sort of response, seeing all these people including yourself sharing your personal stories is motivating and brilliant tbh.
    Sometimes the difference it makes just knowing you aren't along is a game changer.
    You are so right, I never though even just losing a pound was something to celebrate over, but it is still a pound that isn't there any more.
    Good luck with your journey, I know you will achieve your goal, you are a strong woman!
  • Ianultrarunner
    Ianultrarunner Posts: 184 Member
    Have you ever thought about a support group such as OA?
    My wife has similar issues and found having such a group can be very helpful.
  • AllOutof_Bubblegum
    AllOutof_Bubblegum Posts: 3,646 Member
    I'm 256 pounds...need to lose 150 myself. You are not alone. I just came back to do this right! Cut out your carbs, cut off all white stuff, flour, sugar and pasta. I'm on day 11 now. I feel better already. I hate what my body looks like but I know that I am beautiful and will be gorgeous in the end!!!! Add me as a friend. Walk this journey together. Start off by using this app every day. Document everything. Learn about portion control. Plan your meals. Don't worry about exercising in the beginning till you get off of sugar. Don't buy crap. Buy veggies, eat eggs, check out my meals I eat. I'm not perfect but I am trying and getting better each day. Don't skip meals. Eat cheese, protein and weight your food. Eat lots of veggies and salads. No purchased dressing. Drink water. I'm bad about that one! Don't blame yourself anymore. Today is a new day. You can do this. We can do this.

    Don't be afraid. If you mess up...stop yourself and start over. Each day is new. Document your bad stuff too and don't continue. You will feel like *kitten* when you get off of sugar...I did. I got headaches. After 10 days I started to feel better. Check out materials on Somersize diet or South Beach Diet. I'm doing South Beach Diet.

    We can do this....go to the library and check out the book or go online and read what they say about the South Beach Diet plan. Diets work if you stick with them.

    Kathleen Presnell
    Young Adult Librarian
    who loves food, cooking and now being healthy is my goal!


    Worst advice ever. Carbs are not bad, even sugar ans pasta. Stick to your macro goals, stay at you calorie goal, and you'll do fine. No need to necessarily cut out everything you love. You'll get nowhere if you are miserable the whole time.

  • Siansiansiansian
    Siansiansiansian Posts: 10 Member
    Brace yourself - this is a very long post!

    I've been at it 6 months now and have lost 66 lbs so far, but I have at least another 130 to go, so I'm not a newbie anymore, but I'm certainly still climbing that mountain myself.

    I think you are on the right track - the basic premise of losing weight is fewer calories in than calories burned, and there are a ton of ways to do that; the trick is finding the way that works for you. The problem comes in that it really does boil down to willpower and determination, and losing weight is NOT easy at all. You are fighting your body and your mind, and the mental battle is harder than the physical one. Much of our over-eating is a mental problem; we are addicted to sugar and food. We are taught unhealthy eating habits from childhood, we are stressed and want comfort and find it in food, we are frazzled and exhausted, living in a high pace society, and are much more sedentary in life style, all which are factors that play a part in us getting to where we are; there is so much more to the obesity problem than us just being lazy and gluttonous. Losing weight is definitely not easy, especially winning the mental war - just ask any addict how easy it is to get clean!

    The tricks I've found so far that works are these:

    1) find a method that works for you. Some people do well with the keto diet; others with a low carb diet like the paleo diet. Some do intermittent fasting (IF), others are whole food subscribers, some folks do a program like weight watchers, while others eat whatever they want, but keep track of their portion sizes, and still others just up the exercise they are doing. You've got to find a method that is sustainable for you. If you try one thing for a few weeks and it isn't working, then don't give up! Try something else! Keep trying until you find the method that fits you.

    2) start with little things, because you are entering a war with yourself, and you do have a limited supply of willpower that is going to drain quickly if you are trying to do a bunch of things at once. Don't worry about exercise right now if you hate to exercise or are too out of shape for it. Focus on changing your eating habits. Get a food scale and watch your portion sizes to start with - it is so easy to over-eat and not realize it! Portion sizes in western societies are out of control, and you'll be amazed at the calorie load of certain items when you start measuring out the actual serving size.

    3) pay attention to food labels and the contents of food - especially sugar. Sugar is sneaked into everything these days. It's even more appalling when you start to realize the huge portion sizes and just how much sugar you are consuming! Pay attention to how much sugar you are eating in a day and start cutting back. If you are like I was, you are eating WAY too much sugar a day and not even realizing it.

    4) while its certainly true that you can eat whatever you want as long as you stay under your calorie limit and still lose weight, eating healthier foods and focusing on whole, natural foods, lean proteins, vegetables and fruit and limiting processed foods or snacks is much healthier for you, and you will find that they will hold you better and sustain you better - you'll last longer between meals, you'll feel fuller, and you won't have so many sugar crashes that lead to cravings if you focus on healthier, whole food options. Weight loss is based on calories in versus calories out period, but the QUALITY of those calories greatly varies for health - and the focus here is to be healthier. Focus on setting a plan ahead of time so you can cook for yourself as much as possible and not eat out so much or eat frozen dinners or boxed meals. It takes time, but cooking for yourself lets you control the ingredients. Some suggest when grocery shopping, to stay on the perimeter and out of the center aisles as the more whole foods tend to be on the perimeter while the processed, chemical stuff is in the center aisles, and I've found that to be true.

    5) in relation with #4 is to realize this isn't just a diet - diet implies something temporary that you are going to do for a few weeks or months, and then stop. If you go into this with the mindset that it's temporary you are going to fail. You need to develop a mindset that this is a lifestyle change, a change for a healthier way of eating. It isn't easy, that's for sure, but making it a permanent change in your way of eating is the only hope we have of sustaining it. You also need to change your thinking and your relationship with food (and this part is hardest of all!) When you meet a goal, treat yourself - but don't do it with food! Try to retrain yourself to associate reward with other things than food.

    6) Moderation and compromise are the key - don't just start out cutting out a ton of calories or entire food groups all at once. Start slow, build healthy habits over time. Making drastic calorie cuts or severely limiting yourself is a quick way to mental exhaustion, and for most folks, the battle with themselves is quickly lost. Know yourself, your strength and weaknesses, and build a meal plan around what you can sustain. If there's certain food items that you can't resist and can't limit yourself on, then you have to avoid those things. In other situations, though, if you are craving something and can limit yourself to a small portion of it then compromise with yourself. Constantly telling yourself no, constantly depriving yourself is only going to wear you down in the long run, but you can't just let yourself have whatever you want. It's a balancing act on a high wire sometimes, but being forgiving of yourself and working with yourself is a much better path to success than being a drill sergeant all the time!

    7) be realistic in your exceptions. You didn't pack this weight on over night; you aren't going to lose it over night. Set reasonable goals - 1 to 2 lbs loss per week, and understand that some weeks are going to be better than others. You're going to have set backs, you're going to slip up, you're going to make mistakes; we all do that. The key is to keep going. When you mess up, note where you went wrong, accept it, and keep going. Don't let a one day binge wreck the entire week; don't let a bad week wreck the entire month, and don't let a slow period or plateau slide you back into the bad habits you had before.

    8) find a support system, whether it be your doctor, an accountability partner, or an encouraging group of friends. You won't believe how much help having someone in your corner can be for you, especially when you are having bad weeks, are down, or it seems hopeless! There's a group called Let's Lose it: 100+ lbs that I always recommend to folks who are needing to lose a significant amount because I've found the people in that group to be incredibly supportive and understanding; after all, we're all in the same boat. They understand the challenges of being extremely heavy and having a ton to lose, and are sympathetic and very encouraging, which can be in short supply in other forum threads here. I've found it much easier to keep going with their support and understanding.


    There's a lot more than can be said, but this is long enough as it is :) I know from personal experience that losing weight, especially a significant amount, isn't easy, and the statistics of success are abysmally low. It can be done, but it takes work and a ton of determination. It may be hard, but it isn't impossible! We can do this!

    This post has changed alot of my outlook, I hope you don't mind but I'm going to send you a friend request.
  • Siansiansiansian
    Siansiansiansian Posts: 10 Member
    farrellian wrote: »
    Have you ever thought about a support group such as OA?
    My wife has similar issues and found having such a group can be very helpful.

    I'm unsure of what OA is?
  • bmeadows380
    bmeadows380 Posts: 2,981 Member
    Brace yourself - this is a very long post!

    I've been at it 6 months now and have lost 66 lbs so far, but I have at least another 130 to go, so I'm not a newbie anymore, but I'm certainly still climbing that mountain myself.

    I think you are on the right track - the basic premise of losing weight is fewer calories in than calories burned, and there are a ton of ways to do that; the trick is finding the way that works for you. The problem comes in that it really does boil down to willpower and determination, and losing weight is NOT easy at all. You are fighting your body and your mind, and the mental battle is harder than the physical one. Much of our over-eating is a mental problem; we are addicted to sugar and food. We are taught unhealthy eating habits from childhood, we are stressed and want comfort and find it in food, we are frazzled and exhausted, living in a high pace society, and are much more sedentary in life style, all which are factors that play a part in us getting to where we are; there is so much more to the obesity problem than us just being lazy and gluttonous. Losing weight is definitely not easy, especially winning the mental war - just ask any addict how easy it is to get clean!

    The tricks I've found so far that works are these:

    1) find a method that works for you. Some people do well with the keto diet; others with a low carb diet like the paleo diet. Some do intermittent fasting (IF), others are whole food subscribers, some folks do a program like weight watchers, while others eat whatever they want, but keep track of their portion sizes, and still others just up the exercise they are doing. You've got to find a method that is sustainable for you. If you try one thing for a few weeks and it isn't working, then don't give up! Try something else! Keep trying until you find the method that fits you.

    2) start with little things, because you are entering a war with yourself, and you do have a limited supply of willpower that is going to drain quickly if you are trying to do a bunch of things at once. Don't worry about exercise right now if you hate to exercise or are too out of shape for it. Focus on changing your eating habits. Get a food scale and watch your portion sizes to start with - it is so easy to over-eat and not realize it! Portion sizes in western societies are out of control, and you'll be amazed at the calorie load of certain items when you start measuring out the actual serving size.

    3) pay attention to food labels and the contents of food - especially sugar. Sugar is sneaked into everything these days. It's even more appalling when you start to realize the huge portion sizes and just how much sugar you are consuming! Pay attention to how much sugar you are eating in a day and start cutting back. If you are like I was, you are eating WAY too much sugar a day and not even realizing it.

    4) while its certainly true that you can eat whatever you want as long as you stay under your calorie limit and still lose weight, eating healthier foods and focusing on whole, natural foods, lean proteins, vegetables and fruit and limiting processed foods or snacks is much healthier for you, and you will find that they will hold you better and sustain you better - you'll last longer between meals, you'll feel fuller, and you won't have so many sugar crashes that lead to cravings if you focus on healthier, whole food options. Weight loss is based on calories in versus calories out period, but the QUALITY of those calories greatly varies for health - and the focus here is to be healthier. Focus on setting a plan ahead of time so you can cook for yourself as much as possible and not eat out so much or eat frozen dinners or boxed meals. It takes time, but cooking for yourself lets you control the ingredients. Some suggest when grocery shopping, to stay on the perimeter and out of the center aisles as the more whole foods tend to be on the perimeter while the processed, chemical stuff is in the center aisles, and I've found that to be true.

    5) in relation with #4 is to realize this isn't just a diet - diet implies something temporary that you are going to do for a few weeks or months, and then stop. If you go into this with the mindset that it's temporary you are going to fail. You need to develop a mindset that this is a lifestyle change, a change for a healthier way of eating. It isn't easy, that's for sure, but making it a permanent change in your way of eating is the only hope we have of sustaining it. You also need to change your thinking and your relationship with food (and this part is hardest of all!) When you meet a goal, treat yourself - but don't do it with food! Try to retrain yourself to associate reward with other things than food.

    6) Moderation and compromise are the key - don't just start out cutting out a ton of calories or entire food groups all at once. Start slow, build healthy habits over time. Making drastic calorie cuts or severely limiting yourself is a quick way to mental exhaustion, and for most folks, the battle with themselves is quickly lost. Know yourself, your strength and weaknesses, and build a meal plan around what you can sustain. If there's certain food items that you can't resist and can't limit yourself on, then you have to avoid those things. In other situations, though, if you are craving something and can limit yourself to a small portion of it then compromise with yourself. Constantly telling yourself no, constantly depriving yourself is only going to wear you down in the long run, but you can't just let yourself have whatever you want. It's a balancing act on a high wire sometimes, but being forgiving of yourself and working with yourself is a much better path to success than being a drill sergeant all the time!

    7) be realistic in your exceptions. You didn't pack this weight on over night; you aren't going to lose it over night. Set reasonable goals - 1 to 2 lbs loss per week, and understand that some weeks are going to be better than others. You're going to have set backs, you're going to slip up, you're going to make mistakes; we all do that. The key is to keep going. When you mess up, note where you went wrong, accept it, and keep going. Don't let a one day binge wreck the entire week; don't let a bad week wreck the entire month, and don't let a slow period or plateau slide you back into the bad habits you had before.

    8) find a support system, whether it be your doctor, an accountability partner, or an encouraging group of friends. You won't believe how much help having someone in your corner can be for you, especially when you are having bad weeks, are down, or it seems hopeless! There's a group called Let's Lose it: 100+ lbs that I always recommend to folks who are needing to lose a significant amount because I've found the people in that group to be incredibly supportive and understanding; after all, we're all in the same boat. They understand the challenges of being extremely heavy and having a ton to lose, and are sympathetic and very encouraging, which can be in short supply in other forum threads here. I've found it much easier to keep going with their support and understanding.


    There's a lot more than can be said, but this is long enough as it is :) I know from personal experience that losing weight, especially a significant amount, isn't easy, and the statistics of success are abysmally low. It can be done, but it takes work and a ton of determination. It may be hard, but it isn't impossible! We can do this!

    This post has changed alot of my outlook, I hope you don't mind but I'm going to send you a friend request.

    I don't mind at all! :smiley:
  • OhMsDiva
    OhMsDiva Posts: 1,073 Member
    There is a lot of good advice given and some I do not agree with. The basic fact is that you have to find what works for you and is sustainable or you will not be successful long term. I also am of the mindset that if you program your brain that you are on a diet, that it makes it easy to fall of the wagon if you feel that you have messed up. I believe that it truly has to be a new way of living, which includes a new way of thinking.
    I am not and was not addicted to food. I just had no self control and allowed myself to get out of control. The food portion of weight loss is easy for me. The struggle for me has been the mental portion. It is so easy to beat myself up if I make a mistake. What I have learned in the past two years is that food is just food and it does not control me.
    If I allow myself to eat too much, I know that I will get back on the program. I would like to say that I eat whatever I want, but I can't and I don't. I have learned that I do not have to indulge every desire to eat that pops in my head. As a matter of fact, I think about food from the time I wake up until I go to sleep, but it does not mean I am hungry. I eat plenty of food so I am not starving myself and I also eat 'unhealthy' foods if I want them, but I make sure I really want whatever it is and I make sure it is worth the amount of calories that i will have for that one item or one meal.
    It is a learning process. If you stick with a good plan it you will be successful. I did not meant to type all that.
    What I really wanted to say is this. What I am learning is that you do have to love yourself no matter what. I have lost 200lbs and I do not like the way my body looks because now every thing is hanging and I have a lot of loose skin. It is my body and I have to love it. It carries me through my daily routine and it is strong.
    God bless you. You can do it!! Never give up!!
  • ZoneFive
    ZoneFive Posts: 570 Member
    I started at 334; I'm at 291 now and have about 100 to go (I have no idea yet what my goal weight will be. I'll decide when I get closer). Big weight loss is a project nobody has to do alone; MFP has lots of smart friendly helpful people to work with you. The posts in this thread prove that!

    Everything I could say has already been said upthread. Buy a food scale, start logging your food, drink your water, and things will fall into place. You're going to be just fine.