How to start eating again?
biejen
Posts: 9 Member
My little brother (age 16) is very athletic and a great student but has been an extraordinarily picky eater his entire life. Over the last two or three years, and especially the last few months, his food consumption has gone way down. Now he probably eats just a few hundred calories a day and his stomach is surely shrunken. His ability to focus is inhibited, and his swim times are lacking, although he made varsity as a freshman (unusual) so perhaps he could be content with that if not his potential times.
It seems that he wants to eat, in theory. My dad encourages him to eat whatever he likes when staying at his place (50/50 custody), so he ate a lot of those honey stinger energy waffles, and would try to drink protein shakes every day until they made him feel sick and he stopped those. I think at my mom's it's more, "you'd better eat the food I put in front of you, mister," and the own set of problems that come with his inability to do that.
Other than experimenting with food exclusion to test for allergies and seeing a therapist about a problematic relationship with food, if my brother really does want to eat enough calories again, what have you found to work? Liquid diets? Weight gain bars? Taking cooking classes to get interested in food preparation?
It seems that he wants to eat, in theory. My dad encourages him to eat whatever he likes when staying at his place (50/50 custody), so he ate a lot of those honey stinger energy waffles, and would try to drink protein shakes every day until they made him feel sick and he stopped those. I think at my mom's it's more, "you'd better eat the food I put in front of you, mister," and the own set of problems that come with his inability to do that.
Other than experimenting with food exclusion to test for allergies and seeing a therapist about a problematic relationship with food, if my brother really does want to eat enough calories again, what have you found to work? Liquid diets? Weight gain bars? Taking cooking classes to get interested in food preparation?
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Replies
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Could it be that secretly he is trying to lose weight? Did you see him throw up after drinking a protein drink? Could he be hiding it? Teenagers can be sneaky. What is his weight and height. I hope he is not taking any supplements (athlete friends could be influencing him). Check his bookbag?
This has to be ruled out first. I am mom that was involved with kids in football.
Even something like pills to stay awake can suppress appetite.1 -
TheWJordinWJordin wrote: »Could it be that secretly he is trying to lose weight? Did you see him throw up after drinking a protein drink? Could he be hiding it? Teenagers can be sneaky. What is his weight and height. I hope he is not taking any supplements (athlete friends could be influencing him).
He has a lean muscular frame (well-defined abs, etc) so a very low body fat percentage. He's around 5'10" and maybe 140 or 130 but I'm really spitballing with that one.
He has an iron-strong sense of right and wrong that he holds himself to, and it has always made us want to be better people honestly, so I'm not concerned about sketchy supplements. I also think it's unlikely he's bulemic, but those concerns should always be taken seriously in these situations.0 -
Alarm bells are going off for me. Does he have an eating disorder?0
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Is his weight dropping rapidly? If he's that active and eating that few calories, he should be experiencing weight loss.
How confident are you that your assessment of his intake is accurate? Unless you're spending every minute of every day with him, you really don't know what he is/isn't eating.
Does he have any kind of sensory disorder that is causing or contributing to his pickiness?
When you say that his focus is inhibited, do you mean that he's having trouble focusing/concentrating, or that he isn't focusing as much on activities that used to be important to him?
He really needs to be evaluated by a medical professional, because there are so many things that could be going on. It may be as simple as he's eating sufficient calories outside of the home, or it may be that he's no longer interested in swimming but he doesn't feel comfortable telling you. He may be developing an eating disorder, or he may be experimenting with drugs or taking other supplements. Whether it's more serious or less serious, he probably needs someone to help him navigate whatever is going on with him.1 -
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Maybe parents eat healthy? He always eats at home? No access to burger king, pizza hut, or mcdonalds? That made me fat fast. Very fast.
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@AliceDark
I only see him a few days a year, so I've heard this through my parents.
My brother recently asked to see a doctor, but then did some of his own research and said for a time he wants to try techniques for eating more and better before going to a doctor/therapist. So I think there's some sort of deadline in place.
I'm wondering about what people on the up and up have found helpful, maybe even mantras from therapy, etc.0 -
@AliceDark
I only see him a few days a year, so I've heard this through my parents.
My brother recently asked to see a doctor, but then did some of his own research and said for a time he wants to try techniques for eating more and better before going to a doctor/therapist. So I think there's some sort of deadline in place.
I'm wondering about what people on the up and up have found helpful, maybe even mantras from therapy, etc.
It's good that you are all concerned. It's a little odd that your parents haven't taken him to see a doctor, because there are red flags all over the place, but of course it's hard for you to know what he is/isn't telling your parents or what is really going on in the home.
In terms of eating more, IF he's really eating as little as they say, he first and foremost just needs more calories. Anything he will eat is good. Under-eating to that degree has some really nasty consequences that he doesn't want to experience.
If it's an eating disorder, he really needs professional help. That's the most efficient, most effective way for him to start getting better. Eating disorders don't get better on their own, and sometimes asking for time to do research or handle it outside of professional help can be a way of stalling and avoiding treatment. And if it's a question of him using other substances, he may be buying time away from a doctor in order to keep using. (I'm not questioning his honesty or your relationship in the slightest by continuing to bring this up, btw. It's just a dangerous possibility, however remote, that should be considered).
Here are some resources: https://myfitnesspal.desk.com/customer/portal/articles/1575987-eating-disorder-resources
http://screening.mentalhealthscreening.org/NEDA
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He really needs professional help, whether he wants it or not. Worst case they rule out a true disorder, but letting him sort it out I don't think is the right call.3
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Mail him a $100 gift card to McDonalds that expires in one month.0
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Suspect eating disorder. Prevalent in diving culture, but also swimming and other athletic sports. Note that this is a mental health disorder first and foremost. And hard for males to get help as its so often seen as a female disease. reach out to him and talk to him about this: does he think he has an eating disorder? Does food/counting calories/restriction/overexercising take up a lot of his mental space? has he lost weight? is he trying to lose weight? Are there other emotional issues revolving around the divorce? even if he doesnot think he has an eatig disorder, therapy could help him with eating and what I suspect is anxiety around that.1
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TheWJordinWJordin wrote: »Could it be that secretly he is trying to lose weight? Did you see him throw up after drinking a protein drink? Could he be hiding it? Teenagers can be sneaky. What is his weight and height. I hope he is not taking any supplements (athlete friends could be influencing him).
He has a lean muscular frame (well-defined abs, etc) so a very low body fat percentage. He's around 5'10" and maybe 140 or 130 but I'm really spitballing with that one.
He has an iron-strong sense of right and wrong that he holds himself to, and it has always made us want to be better people honestly, so I'm not concerned about sketchy supplements. I also think it's unlikely he's bulemic, but those concerns should always be taken seriously in these situations.
5'10" in that weight range is perfectly healthy. I really dislike posts like this. This is both a medical question that no one here can answer and also is about a child. TBH, I think this post probably does not belong here. Are we really going to sit and judge the mental health of a child based on what their older sibling says?
This is far beyond MFP's pay grade. But if the weight and height you gave are close to being correct, your brother is not at an unhealthy weight at all. Check out the BMI chart. People are all so heavy now that we assume people at healthy weights are actually underweight but the truth is that most "healthy" looking people are actually overweight these days.0 -
MFP please close this thread.0
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TheWJordinWJordin wrote: »Could it be that secretly he is trying to lose weight? Did you see him throw up after drinking a protein drink? Could he be hiding it? Teenagers can be sneaky. What is his weight and height. I hope he is not taking any supplements (athlete friends could be influencing him).
He has a lean muscular frame (well-defined abs, etc) so a very low body fat percentage. He's around 5'10" and maybe 140 or 130 but I'm really spitballing with that one.
He has an iron-strong sense of right and wrong that he holds himself to, and it has always made us want to be better people honestly, so I'm not concerned about sketchy supplements. I also think it's unlikely he's bulemic, but those concerns should always be taken seriously in these situations.
5'10" in that weight range is perfectly healthy. I really dislike posts like this. This is both a medical question that no one here can answer and also is about a child. TBH, I think this post probably does not belong here. Are we really going to sit and judge the mental health of a child based on what their older sibling says?
This is far beyond MFP's pay grade. But if the weight and height you gave are close to being correct, your brother is not at an unhealthy weight at all. Check out the BMI chart. People are all so heavy now that we assume people at healthy weights are actually underweight but the truth is that most "healthy" looking people are actually overweight these days.
While he may be at a healthy weight (and 130 pounds is on the bottom end of the healthy BMI range), it's more the "eating a few hundred calories" that sticks out in regards to the brother having an ED.0 -
TheWJordinWJordin wrote: »Could it be that secretly he is trying to lose weight? Did you see him throw up after drinking a protein drink? Could he be hiding it? Teenagers can be sneaky. What is his weight and height. I hope he is not taking any supplements (athlete friends could be influencing him).
He has a lean muscular frame (well-defined abs, etc) so a very low body fat percentage. He's around 5'10" and maybe 140 or 130 but I'm really spitballing with that one.
He has an iron-strong sense of right and wrong that he holds himself to, and it has always made us want to be better people honestly, so I'm not concerned about sketchy supplements. I also think it's unlikely he's bulemic, but those concerns should always be taken seriously in these situations.
5'10" in that weight range is perfectly healthy. I really dislike posts like this. This is both a medical question that no one here can answer and also is about a child. TBH, I think this post probably does not belong here. Are we really going to sit and judge the mental health of a child based on what their older sibling says?
This is far beyond MFP's pay grade. But if the weight and height you gave are close to being correct, your brother is not at an unhealthy weight at all. Check out the BMI chart. People are all so heavy now that we assume people at healthy weights are actually underweight but the truth is that most "healthy" looking people are actually overweight these days.
While he may be at a healthy weight (and 130 pounds is on the bottom end of the healthy BMI range), it's more the "eating a few hundred calories" that sticks out in regards to the brother having an ED.
So true. As someone who has struggled with disordered eating, it is much more a mental disease than physical.0 -
My brother still competes in ameteur events where he has to weigh-in and keeps his body fat very low. But he eats a variety.
Did your brother get some bad advice from others on the swim team? Talk to the coach.
Also talk to a therapist who specializes in this kind of work.0 -
Sounds like some disordered eating making it's way in, which isn't incredibly uncommon with high-achieving, athletic, picky eater types. It's serious business that requires mental health intervention. As a previous poster commented, it's a bigger mental issue than the physical manifestation of the symptoms of under-eating. I visited the FEAST/Around the Dinner Table forums a lot when my daughter was treated for an ED. http://www.feast-ed.org/?page=Forum. If you're concerned, maybe pop in there...there's a lot of very helpful parents and advice on understanding your "spidey senses" when something is wrong.
I do hate to jump right to the ED conclusion, but usually when someone throws a red flag that they have observed something unusual on more than one occasion, there's probably at least *some* merit to it.
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Eating disorders aren't always about an unhealthy weight. It's about mental health and behaviors about food. There are plenty of MFP people who have had ED or are parents of kid's with ED, so I wouldn't say it's above anyone's pay grade.TheWJordinWJordin wrote: »Could it be that secretly he is trying to lose weight? Did you see him throw up after drinking a protein drink? Could he be hiding it? Teenagers can be sneaky. What is his weight and height. I hope he is not taking any supplements (athlete friends could be influencing him).
He has a lean muscular frame (well-defined abs, etc) so a very low body fat percentage. He's around 5'10" and maybe 140 or 130 but I'm really spitballing with that one.
He has an iron-strong sense of right and wrong that he holds himself to, and it has always made us want to be better people honestly, so I'm not concerned about sketchy supplements. I also think it's unlikely he's bulemic, but those concerns should always be taken seriously in these situations.
5'10" in that weight range is perfectly healthy. I really dislike posts like this. This is both a medical question that no one here can answer and also is about a child. TBH, I think this post probably does not belong here. Are we really going to sit and judge the mental health of a child based on what their older sibling says?
This is far beyond MFP's pay grade. But if the weight and height you gave are close to being correct, your brother is not at an unhealthy weight at all. Check out the BMI chart. People are all so heavy now that we assume people at healthy weights are actually underweight but the truth is that most "healthy" looking people are actually overweight these days.
This is a child/teenager who someone has identified as struggling in a way that is consistent with ED behaviors, and all that anyone has suggestion is to explore care related to ED treatment.
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