Break-up

pinkgigi
pinkgigi Posts: 693 Member
edited September 30 in Chit-Chat
What do people do to nurture themselves when they've had a break-up, besides food?

I think it was funny that he bought some chocolate with him to soften the blow, but I'm feeling all sorry for myself and feel I want to binge.

GG
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Replies

  • Karleyyy
    Karleyyy Posts: 857
    It sounds horrible, but I always listen to sad depressing music when I am sad and depressed. I don't really cry, but it is kinda like crying. Everyone says it makes you feel better, but while you're doing it you feel completely awful.
  • laz22girl
    laz22girl Posts: 47
    I have had a lot of break ups..none where the guy softened the blow with choc. Lol.

    I indulged...but i also did stuff totally for me. Shopping, manicures, pedi..allowed myself to cry and feel the pain/hurt. Listened to depressing music.
  • cbgumaer
    cbgumaer Posts: 2
    hit the gym! make him regret his decision!
  • laz22girl
    laz22girl Posts: 47
    Yes, I also run/work out hard.
  • Music is wonderful to immerse yourself in, no matter what you're feeling!
  • sarah_boombah
    sarah_boombah Posts: 124 Member
    how about a pamper day for yourself? Haircut, mani/pedi etc?
  • srhdwll
    srhdwll Posts: 65
    It sounds horrible, but I always listen to sad depressing music when I am sad and depressed. I don't really cry, but it is kinda like crying. Everyone says it makes you feel better, but while you're doing it you feel completely awful.

    Yup! Put on some Morrissey and make a cup of tea.
  • kimtpa1417
    kimtpa1417 Posts: 461 Member
    Hit the gym..... that way when you bump into him he will eat his heart out.:smokin:
  • ninpiggy
    ninpiggy Posts: 228 Member
    Hit the gym..... that way when you bump into him he will eat his heart out.:smokin:

    I second this!
  • caretheaton
    caretheaton Posts: 90 Member
    A night (or 12) of romantic comedies always helps me. Somehow it restores my faith in romance. Also, Sex and The City. I made it through 3 seasons once after a break-up. Helped tremendously.
  • runner328
    runner328 Posts: 174
    Hang-out w/ your friends and family and workout. Keep your self busy. Don't turn down any invitations to do anything. Unless it's creepy or involves you eating too many calories!
  • MeredithRN
    MeredithRN Posts: 119 Member
    First of all.... what a d-bag for bringing chocolate when he probably knows you're dieting! Saboteur!

    Secondly- besides eating myself into a coma, my friend taught me this- find a funny movie and watch it until you feel better. When her fiance left her she watched Big Mommas House every time she started getting sad. She brought me over White Chicks- I watched it... alot. If you don't have kids, go out with your friends! Girl time! Do things for you- including exercise, it will make you feel better in the end.

    Depending on the intensity of the relationship, I always felt I needed a change- new hair cut or color did it for me everytime.

    It all depends on you and what makes YOU feel good!
  • AJay513
    AJay513 Posts: 187
    Shopping, Mani/Pedi, at home facials, baths, watching my favorite shows/movies, working out and going out with the girls!
    Just talk it out with family n friends, cry... but immersing myself with goood company and just putting myself #1 makes me forget :)
  • CBKMom
    CBKMom Posts: 59 Member
    Go out and do something special for yourself. Treat yourself like the princess that you are. Do something new with your hair, your makeup, anything, just so that you feel special to yourself.
  • _beachgirl_
    _beachgirl_ Posts: 3,865 Member
    I recommend a punching bag it's a fantastic catharsis!
  • Rompa_87
    Rompa_87 Posts: 291 Member
    I also go with the punching bag/hard running
  • jsc4him
    jsc4him Posts: 40 Member
    No man is worth over-eating. I used to eat an entire bag of cookies or some other junk when my first husband and I would fight. The only person i was hurting was myself!
  • Lolyballs
    Lolyballs Posts: 180 Member
    hit the gym! make him regret his decision!

    Excellent advice! And pampering yourself sounds good too. Remember by pigging out you are only hurting yourself. I was doing this not even a week ago when I was angry at someone. The advice I have given so many others came into my head and I stopped and said "what the hell are you doing?"... Never allow anyone or anything have that kind of power over you! Maybe you need to get angry... how dare he bring chocolate and sabotage your weight loss goal! Punch some pillows, scrub some walls... find something to use up that energy. Call some girlfriends and go out dancing! You are worth it and you are going to win this battle!
  • ahd22
    ahd22 Posts: 3
    You need to re-invent yourself! Do things that you want to do!! Put yourself first and immerse yourself with friends and family and cry out those emotions that you are feeling. It is ok to be sad and depressed about the situation and you need to get those feelings out because it is healthy! Someone once told me that women have a tendancy to define themselves by the relationships they are in so when the relationship ends we have this lost feeling. A feeling like we dont know who we are almost. I know that is what i did with my past relationship that ended a month ago and now i have been building myself back up and finding myself again. I wish you the best of luck in your adventures and if you need support I am here!
  • spitfire1962
    spitfire1962 Posts: 347 Member
    Throw out the chocolate first off. Then make sure that you don't have any other junk food, or high fat food in the house. He probably is trying to sabotage your diet. Have yourself a good cry, then move on. Do something special for yourself, hairdo, nails, or whatever you like to do that doesn't include over indulging on food or alcohol. Find a friend, someone you trust to talk to. Then see it for what it is, over! He probably did you a favor by leaving. You are stronger than you think. You've come along this far and you can do this. Use this as motivation. You want to make yourself healthy and strong. That will be the best revenge ever that he can see you not just surviving, but thriving without him. Use your support group here on MFP to vent. I can look back at breakups I've had in the past and now see how fortunate I was that it happened. I wish you the best success ever.
  • Jennjenn1974
    Jennjenn1974 Posts: 350 Member
    I may get some backlash for saying this but....


    Take one day and do what YOU want. What feels right to you. And if that happens to be eating 2 chocolate fudge cakes, a pint of strawberry ice cream and 4 twinkies...then you do it.

    For 1 day. Then you pick yourself up and with a renewed sense of determination become the best you you can be and throw it back in his face.
  • pinkgigi
    pinkgigi Posts: 693 Member
    What a wonderful lot of people you are!

    He is not a jerk, and it only lasted a short while because it wasn't right. I really like him but it was best that he finished it before I fell in love with him. I went into it expecting it to just be a fling, so I thought I was prepared for it to end.

    The worst thing - I obviously suppress my longing for a relationship, telling myself I am OK on my own (for those of you who say re-invent myself, I've done that - twice because that's how many times I've been married), but having someone in my life and that something to look forward to - it just reminds me of what I am really longing for.

    To top it off this week is the 3rd anniversary of the death of my husband, I had wanted it to last at least until the end of July to get me through, but not ...

    Love to all of you, you are lovely supportive people.

    GG
  • sunkisses
    sunkisses Posts: 2,365 Member
    I walked and ran until I couldn't stand it anymore. It was the only thing that relieved the cyclical thoughts. I'm not a "fitness" person either. It was just good advice that was given to me, and I'll never forget it.
  • LauraMarie37
    LauraMarie37 Posts: 283 Member
    What a wonderful lot of people you are!

    He is not a jerk, and it only lasted a short while because it wasn't right. I really like him but it was best that he finished it before I fell in love with him. I went into it expecting it to just be a fling, so I thought I was prepared for it to end.

    The worst thing - I obviously suppress my longing for a relationship, telling myself I am OK on my own (for those of you who say re-invent myself, I've done that - twice because that's how many times I've been married), but having someone in my life and that something to look forward to - it just reminds me of what I am really longing for.

    To top it off this week is the 3rd anniversary of the death of my husband, I had wanted it to last at least until the end of July to get me through, but not ...

    Love to all of you, you are lovely supportive people.

    GG

    My mother lost her first husband (my father) 12 years ago this week, then her almost-seceond husband died three years ago on her birthday, two weeks short of their wedding... I don't know at all the pain you are feeling, but I have seen someone I love go through something similar.

    For her, she exercises to the point of numbness. I honestly don't feel like that's healthy, but I *DO* think the great group of friends she has found through her triathlete adventures has been tremendously helpful. Also, maybe see if you can plan something to look forward to? My mom has these crazy cycling trips where she rides like 500 miles in one week in really gorgeous areas of the country. She goes with the same group of triathlete friends. Can you immerse yourself in planning something wonderful and constructive for the future (whether it's a trip, planning a move, a "recharging" retreat of some sort, getting some big project done you've always meant to tackle but seemed too daunting, etc)?

    None of this is meant to belittle your grief in any way. I also feel like if you need to, screw dieting for a day (or a week). I know around the anniversary of my dad's death, especially the first five years (and last year, near my wedding), I was just a wreck. It's ok. It's processing. You will be ok afterwards.
  • Lolyballs
    Lolyballs Posts: 180 Member
    I am so sorry for your loss. You are in my thoughts and prayers. Maybe you should not think about having a relationship for a while. You don't need a man in your life to be happy. I don't mean to sound heartless... really I am not. I can only imagine what you have been going through. It's time to find peace within yourself and you really need to do that before you can share your heart with someone else. It's hard to know the right words to say.... you need to be whole before you set out into the world again. I hope that makes sense... It took me a long time to find that peace. It is the most wonderful feeling you will ever experience and I hope that you can find it for yourself. God Bless
  • Sweetlux
    Sweetlux Posts: 222 Member
    Fiona apple.
  • RedBullLiz
    RedBullLiz Posts: 469 Member
    Definitely listen to angry music because we've probably spend a lot of time fighting already.
    After music, have nights out where you have no one to report back to.
    Most likely, those night outs, he'll contact you asking why you're out.
    Hahaa, who's the lonely bast@$d now?!

    Overall, forget the guy.
    You know for a fact that guys will come around.
  • jesienia
    jesienia Posts: 294
    Last break up I locked myself in my room, listened to sad music, and cried....and wrote a letter saying everthing I would love to say and then trashed it. It helped a lot. After that I think its best to work on getting over things and finding new hobbies. Anything to distract.
  • i_love_vinegar
    i_love_vinegar Posts: 2,092 Member
    only had 2 boyfriends, but obv both are exes. :embarassed:

    my first broke up with me, but i was leaving the country, so i had a lot of other stuff on my mind at the time...to deal with it, i remember i got an older online "pedo" boyfriend who i had take long walks with me in a mmorpg (online rpg) :laugh: then i got better haha.

    my second i broke up with him, although i did care about him...just didn't see a future. i started taking better care of my looks and got less into video games and more into anime. watching anime as well as korean music videos with half-naked guys really helps!!! i think working on getting a makeover helps too (partial reason why i joined this site, along with a health scare!!!) Oh...also, I'm leaving the country (again). I think starting over really helps, if you are able to!

    I hope this helps :smile:
  • Trixtabella
    Trixtabella Posts: 471 Member
    hit the gym! make him regret his decision!

    Same, in fact last time I quite a serious relationship was the time I was at my slimmest. I hit the gym and hardly ate
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