I feel like I'm overreacting but opinions are welcome
MayaSPapaya
Posts: 735 Member
So I just got home from a second date with this guy who I’ve been taking to about two weeks ago. We’re young and slept together on this one. We stayed up late after that just talking and watching tv and stuff, and when we went to bed he kissed me some more before we went to sleep.
When we woke up this morning, he seemed…distant. He asked if I wanted to go to breakfast but changed his mind after realizing all he had to get done. He didn’t kiss me until I left (after he thanked me for coming over and hugged me and then I looked at him and he kissed me). I asked if he wanted to do something Wednesday when he is off and he said yes.
Now here’s the thing. Last night i was kind of quiet when we were around his housemates and I was kind of just standing there and he went “you look miserable” I assured him that I wasn’t. I was kind of quiet after we had sex last night but I was feeling sick from side effects from a recent change of birth control. I sent him this text after I got home this morning “Hey! Thanks again for last night, I have a lot of fun with you. I just wanted to say if I seemed quiet or off it was because of my pill and I felt sick which I was trying to power through.". He replied back saying "I'm glad you came over last night too! Thanks for coming over and I'm sorry you're going through that!"
I feel like I'm overreacting right?
When we woke up this morning, he seemed…distant. He asked if I wanted to go to breakfast but changed his mind after realizing all he had to get done. He didn’t kiss me until I left (after he thanked me for coming over and hugged me and then I looked at him and he kissed me). I asked if he wanted to do something Wednesday when he is off and he said yes.
Now here’s the thing. Last night i was kind of quiet when we were around his housemates and I was kind of just standing there and he went “you look miserable” I assured him that I wasn’t. I was kind of quiet after we had sex last night but I was feeling sick from side effects from a recent change of birth control. I sent him this text after I got home this morning “Hey! Thanks again for last night, I have a lot of fun with you. I just wanted to say if I seemed quiet or off it was because of my pill and I felt sick which I was trying to power through.". He replied back saying "I'm glad you came over last night too! Thanks for coming over and I'm sorry you're going through that!"
I feel like I'm overreacting right?
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Replies
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If you two see each other on Wednesday and it goes well, you might be on track for something with a longer term potential.
If Wednesday is a no show or a no go, well....
best of luck; I wish you well.3 -
Don't worry, it sounds to me like you may be over thinking the situation. I know it's hard to not replay little details and analyze them.
You have tentative plans (good sign) and the guy sounds like he cares about your situation.
Just go with it with an open mind and see what happens on Wednesday.
Be excited and look forward to it! Then go from there!2 -
Thanks guys! I try not to overthink and always do, it sucks. I'm going to do my best not to.0
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Maybe he's just not a morning person.
Don't over think it. See what happens on Wednesday.1 -
This is someone you have been talking to for 2 weeks, had two dates and just slept with.
Sounds like you are both reading too much into each other being quiet/awkward in a new situation. You don't know each other very well yet to know what is very normal behavior for each other. I guess maybe you were expecting more kisses or attention. Maybe he was unsure you were okay because you were being more withdrawn. Maybe the morning after is just awkward.
There is always a risk that things will not work out when you are so early in a relationship with or without sex. There will be awkward moments to get past. He sounds responsive and you made plans to get together soon. That sounds positive to me. Just see what happens.
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Maybe you could call him later and ask him how his day went...You could chat him up to see how he's feeling, then be playful and say in a coy way that you didn't get quite enough hugs and kisses yet and could you meet up tonight to fix the situation?
You can get by with no sleep when you're young
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You guys are right. I had another guy flake on me after telling me he had a good time, then told me two days later he didn't want to see me again because he wasn't feeling it so I think it made me more cautious. I'm just going to take this one at his word and assume we're hanging ou Wednesday, if we don't its his loss!2
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@senior_citizen wrote: »This is what isnwrong eith millennials today. Shen I was dating my wife in the former days we did not sleep togrther until the wedding. I yell my grandchildren... you have to be better than giving yourselt away so soon. We have degraded as a society.
I think the problem with kids these days is that they don't drink enough Ovaltine15 -
Unless your name is Tiffany I've got some bad news....0
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senior_citizen wrote: »This is what isnwrong eith millennials today. Shen I was dating my wife in the former days we did not sleep togrther until the wedding. I yell my grandchildren... you have to be better than giving yourselt away so soon. We have degraded as a society.
Times change. You can't expect the younger generations to follow the same rules our parents or grandparents did. To some, sex has become a more casual thing. Back in your day, there wasn't a thing called "friends with benefits." Now it's more common. Hell I have one. I don't want to be in a relationship but I have needs. It's a mutual agreement. And I am pre-millennial.6 -
senior_citizen wrote: »This is what isnwrong eith millennials today. Shen I was dating my wife in the former days we did not sleep togrther until the wedding. I yell my grandchildren... you have to be better than giving yourselt away so soon. We have degraded as a society.
yes... the former days
I remember them well
we didn't *kitten* until the third date.7 -
He got what he wanted.5
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senior_citizen wrote: »Swallow, Inwish I can swallow pop corn like that, young lady. At my age and after much dental work, i can hardly chew oatmeal. Enjoy the youth while it lasts.
* awesome trolling schtick, run with it.6 -
senior_citizen wrote: »This is what isnwrong eith millennials today. Shen I was dating my wife in the former days we did not sleep togrther until the wedding. I yell my grandchildren... you have to be better than giving yourselt away so soon. We have degraded as a society.
6 -
Motorsheen wrote: »senior_citizen wrote: »This is what isnwrong eith millennials today. Shen I was dating my wife in the former days we did not sleep togrther until the wedding. I yell my grandchildren... you have to be better than giving yourselt away so soon. We have degraded as a society.
yes... the former days
I remember them well
we didn't *kitten* until the third date.
Still sooner than "the older generations"0 -
browneyedgirl749 wrote: »senior_citizen wrote: »This is what isnwrong eith millennials today. Shen I was dating my wife in the former days we did not sleep togrther until the wedding. I yell my grandchildren... you have to be better than giving yourselt away so soon. We have degraded as a society.
Times change. You can't expect the younger generations to follow the same rules our parents or grandparents did. To some, sex has become a more casual thing. Back in your day, there wasn't a thing called "friends with benefits." Now it's more common. Hell I have one. I don't want to be in a relationship but I have needs. It's a mutual agreement. And I am pre-millennial.
Times change is no excuse. I expect all 3 of my kids when they come of age to respect themselves enough not to have sex with everybody. I'm only 35 and I think yes people have needs one friend is plenty. I hear so many Young people I work with. Myltiple a week. That is careless even with protection.
I said nothing about sleeping with everyone. I know people back in the day were doing stuff people are doing now, it is just more socially acceptable now, that is what I meant by times change. Being with multiple people a week just makes you a *kitten*, male or female. But you don't have to be married, or in a relationship, to have sex.5 -
browneyedgirl749 wrote: »senior_citizen wrote: »This is what isnwrong eith millennials today. Shen I was dating my wife in the former days we did not sleep togrther until the wedding. I yell my grandchildren... you have to be better than giving yourselt away so soon. We have degraded as a society.
Times change. You can't expect the younger generations to follow the same rules our parents or grandparents did. To some, sex has become a more casual thing. Back in your day, there wasn't a thing called "friends with benefits." Now it's more common. Hell I have one. I don't want to be in a relationship but I have needs. It's a mutual agreement. And I am pre-millennial.
Times change is no excuse. I expect all 3 of my kids when they come of age to respect themselves enough not to have sex with everybody. I'm only 35 and I think yes people have needs one friend is plenty. I hear so many Young people I work with. Myltiple a week. That is careless even with protection.
these young people you work with.....
digits?5 -
Well, you'll know more Wednesday. Just don't continue to pester the guy and be clingy and need constant emotional support. If you're ready to sleep together, you also have to be ready to accept any consequences that may come with it.
I'm not saying wait until marriage, I'm saying be smart.7 -
browneyedgirl749 wrote: »browneyedgirl749 wrote: »senior_citizen wrote: »This is what isnwrong eith millennials today. Shen I was dating my wife in the former days we did not sleep togrther until the wedding. I yell my grandchildren... you have to be better than giving yourselt away so soon. We have degraded as a society.
Times change. You can't expect the younger generations to follow the same rules our parents or grandparents did. To some, sex has become a more casual thing. Back in your day, there wasn't a thing called "friends with benefits." Now it's more common. Hell I have one. I don't want to be in a relationship but I have needs. It's a mutual agreement. And I am pre-millennial.
Times change is no excuse. I expect all 3 of my kids when they come of age to respect themselves enough not to have sex with everybody. I'm only 35 and I think yes people have needs one friend is plenty. I hear so many Young people I work with. Myltiple a week. That is careless even with protection.
I said nothing about sleeping with everyone. I know people back in the day were doing stuff people are doing now, it is just more socially acceptable now, that is what I meant by times change. Being with multiple people a week just makes you a *kitten*, male or female. But you don't have to be married, or in a relationship, to have sex.
That's why I said 1 friend is plenty. I know you don't say sleeping with everyone I said the young people I work with. It's really crazy to hear how many partners some of them have.
There is a term to describe those young people... it's the same word used back in the day and it's still used now... 3 -
Motorsheen wrote: »browneyedgirl749 wrote: »senior_citizen wrote: »This is what isnwrong eith millennials today. Shen I was dating my wife in the former days we did not sleep togrther until the wedding. I yell my grandchildren... you have to be better than giving yourselt away so soon. We have degraded as a society.
Times change. You can't expect the younger generations to follow the same rules our parents or grandparents did. To some, sex has become a more casual thing. Back in your day, there wasn't a thing called "friends with benefits." Now it's more common. Hell I have one. I don't want to be in a relationship but I have needs. It's a mutual agreement. And I am pre-millennial.
Times change is no excuse. I expect all 3 of my kids when they come of age to respect themselves enough not to have sex with everybody. I'm only 35 and I think yes people have needs one friend is plenty. I hear so many Young people I work with. Myltiple a week. That is careless even with protection.
these young people you work with.....
digits?
Lol I'm an observer not a friend. I have no digits just here them bragging to each Other. That's another thing they have no shame spreading their business. Smh
"Observer" is such a nice word for eavesdropping. Not your conversation, not your business.6 -
Times change is no excuse. I expect all 3 of my kids when they come of age to respect themselves enough not to have sex with everybody. I'm only 35 and I think yes people have needs one friend is plenty. I hear so many Young people I work with. Myltiple a week. That is careless even with protection.
How is having lots of sex a sign of lack of respect ?
I don't engage personnaly in that kind of behavior, because it's not something I wish for. But if someone else wants to do it, what's wrong with it ? Two people wanting to spend some time in the bedroom (or elsewhere
) and then having fun, sharing a moment and pleasing themselves : how is that exactly a sign of lack of self-respect ?
You can argue that's it's not an effective way to have a long lasting relationship. To that, I don't really know. But it might not be what they're aiming for.
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AskMorphis wrote: »Times change is no excuse. I expect all 3 of my kids when they come of age to respect themselves enough not to have sex with everybody. I'm only 35 and I think yes people have needs one friend is plenty. I hear so many Young people I work with. Myltiple a week. That is careless even with protection.
How is having lots of sex a sign of lack of respect ?
I don't engage personnaly in that kind of behavior, because it's not something I wish for. But if someone else wants to do it, what's wrong with it ? Two people wanting to spend some time in the bedroom (or elsewhere ) and then having fun, sharing a moment and pleasing themselves : how is that exactly a sign of lack of self-respect ?
I understand.
I'm all about self............. respect
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I didn't realize you were talking about having many partners at the same time. In that case, I'm with you. Unless they're all aware of the situation and still up for it, but it's unlikely.1
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Morning sex solves many problems.
A.C.E. Certified Personal and Group Fitness Trainer
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Been in fitness for 30 years and have studied kinesiology and nutrition
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browneyedgirl749 wrote: »senior_citizen wrote: »This is what isnwrong eith millennials today. Shen I was dating my wife in the former days we did not sleep togrther until the wedding. I yell my grandchildren... you have to be better than giving yourselt away so soon. We have degraded as a society.
Times change. You can't expect the younger generations to follow the same rules our parents or grandparents did. To some, sex has become a more casual thing. Back in your day, there wasn't a thing called "friends with benefits." Now it's more common. Hell I have one. I don't want to be in a relationship but I have needs. It's a mutual agreement. And I am pre-millennial.
Times change is no excuse. I expect all 3 of my kids when they come of age to respect themselves enough not to have sex with everybody. I'm only 35 and I think yes people have needs one friend is plenty. I hear so many Young people I work with. Myltiple a week. That is careless even with protection.
That's why you have one friend with benefits, and you play hard to get with guys you go on dates with.
Problem solved.2 -
A lot of people are making a big fuzz about sleeping with someone. I didn't sleep with my fiance until my third date, and for me that is waiting a long time. I could have waited longer if we wanted to, but we decided we both were ready. I used to sleep around a lot-not proud of it-just sharing. I didn't get the satisfaction I get now of feeling complete. I think sleeping together or waiting is a personal choice that is up to every single one of us. I don't think he "got what he wanted". I think you both got what you wanted, and as long as he answers your messages you have nothing to worry about. If I didn't want to see the person again, I used to let them know my intentions before sleeping with them, but that is me being direct.5
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Next time you have sex with someone for the first time, don't tell them you were trying to power through
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