A diet break! Keep losing weight or not
skyhowl
Posts: 206 Member
Hey everyone, this is probably gonna be a long post. I joined MFP like long time ago but i only started consistently using it last year. My start weight is 84 kg. I am 174 cm tall. And my current weight range from 66.5 kg to 68 kg.. I've been maintaining/ or rather not logging for almost 6 months. Last time i logged consistently (6 months ago) i weighted 66 kg and my goal weight was 63 kg. Long story short, I got busy with life/ lost motivation.
1- I started taking antidepressants, and only after a month i realized how awful my apetite was before taking AD. I am not entirely sure if i should consider the change that happened negative or positive. I used to go all day with only one meal and i would feel so fine. I never craved junk food, i didn't care about food, making food for me was such a pain, last session with my therapist before taking mg AD i was telling him how living on 1200 calories was so easy now and that i have gotten used to it that i now even struggle to reach that 1200 goal. Then after AD, i started enjoying food more or even wanting food. I did have a few binge eposides i guess where i would starve myself after that for 2 days. And sometimes fail to do that.
This didn't affect my weight much, i probably gained like 0.5 kg.. Whenever i start eating clean for 3 days. Thw weight comes back to 66 or 66.5 kg. So this suggests that it's just water weight
To be honest, i even thought a few times about just stopping my AD so that i stop wanting food. But at the same time i am not surr that struggling to eat 1200 calories a day is healthy. This for me was kinda of a signal that there's something wrong because my body needs that 1200 calories for sure. Then why can't i eat! Or even think of food.
Just to be clear, the last 6 months isn't all a bjg eposide of binging.. I still eat moderately most of the days, but it's so hard to stay at 1200 calories.
2- a bit TMI.. when i hit my lowest weight of 66 kg. I was super happy about it. I wanted to keep losing until i hit my goal until one day i actually looked at myself and my body in the mirror. I wasn't happy at all. Infact i started crying and i couldn't sleep all night and it turned into a panic attack about how i must fix this. For reference, i am pear shaped, like really pear shapes. My boobs weren't huge.. Size D and bottom i can go up to 16 UK sizing even though i wear 12 or even less for my upper body. So after that weight loss i suddenly realized that my boobs looked awful and i am not talking about sizing going down, i've no problem with that, i am talking about a skin that looks like a balloon poorly inflated. I was shocked. And at this moment i was like.. I can't keep losing weight, i have to gain. Like i don't mind if i am flat chested to begin with but i can't deal with my confidence if i were to have a saggy skin. And i don't understand how it would happen since my upper body wasn't that huge to begin with, and i didn't size down that much, in fact i was still using my bras.
And the problem is that my thighs is not even close to goals. Like it still look like my 84kg me... So girls who need to gain in their thighs after losing weight can do weight-lifting.. But i am like totally the opposite and doing weight lifing that focuses on chest muscles wouldn't do my saggy skin anything if i were to get to my goals of 63kg.
So my options are,
A ) keep losing weight even if i don't like how my upper body looks and just focus on losing fat from thighs.
B ) gain and weight-lift and focus on gaining in my thighs,but then i would build muscles under a huge chunck of fat, then what? Cut again, but i will still be only losing from my upper body since my lower body or especially thighs are like my only strugglr area.
I am sorry if the post is so long, i just need some motivation and advice regarding both points i mentioned, struggling with apetite, and body shape.
1- I started taking antidepressants, and only after a month i realized how awful my apetite was before taking AD. I am not entirely sure if i should consider the change that happened negative or positive. I used to go all day with only one meal and i would feel so fine. I never craved junk food, i didn't care about food, making food for me was such a pain, last session with my therapist before taking mg AD i was telling him how living on 1200 calories was so easy now and that i have gotten used to it that i now even struggle to reach that 1200 goal. Then after AD, i started enjoying food more or even wanting food. I did have a few binge eposides i guess where i would starve myself after that for 2 days. And sometimes fail to do that.
This didn't affect my weight much, i probably gained like 0.5 kg.. Whenever i start eating clean for 3 days. Thw weight comes back to 66 or 66.5 kg. So this suggests that it's just water weight
To be honest, i even thought a few times about just stopping my AD so that i stop wanting food. But at the same time i am not surr that struggling to eat 1200 calories a day is healthy. This for me was kinda of a signal that there's something wrong because my body needs that 1200 calories for sure. Then why can't i eat! Or even think of food.
Just to be clear, the last 6 months isn't all a bjg eposide of binging.. I still eat moderately most of the days, but it's so hard to stay at 1200 calories.
2- a bit TMI.. when i hit my lowest weight of 66 kg. I was super happy about it. I wanted to keep losing until i hit my goal until one day i actually looked at myself and my body in the mirror. I wasn't happy at all. Infact i started crying and i couldn't sleep all night and it turned into a panic attack about how i must fix this. For reference, i am pear shaped, like really pear shapes. My boobs weren't huge.. Size D and bottom i can go up to 16 UK sizing even though i wear 12 or even less for my upper body. So after that weight loss i suddenly realized that my boobs looked awful and i am not talking about sizing going down, i've no problem with that, i am talking about a skin that looks like a balloon poorly inflated. I was shocked. And at this moment i was like.. I can't keep losing weight, i have to gain. Like i don't mind if i am flat chested to begin with but i can't deal with my confidence if i were to have a saggy skin. And i don't understand how it would happen since my upper body wasn't that huge to begin with, and i didn't size down that much, in fact i was still using my bras.
And the problem is that my thighs is not even close to goals. Like it still look like my 84kg me... So girls who need to gain in their thighs after losing weight can do weight-lifting.. But i am like totally the opposite and doing weight lifing that focuses on chest muscles wouldn't do my saggy skin anything if i were to get to my goals of 63kg.
So my options are,
A ) keep losing weight even if i don't like how my upper body looks and just focus on losing fat from thighs.
B ) gain and weight-lift and focus on gaining in my thighs,but then i would build muscles under a huge chunck of fat, then what? Cut again, but i will still be only losing from my upper body since my lower body or especially thighs are like my only strugglr area.
I am sorry if the post is so long, i just need some motivation and advice regarding both points i mentioned, struggling with apetite, and body shape.
1
Replies
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You're in the middle of a healthy BMI, so losing a few more pounds probably wouldn't be a problem. However, you can't choose where the loss will come from, nor the gains from bulking.
My suggestion is actually to recomp. Eat at maintenance, start a progressive full-body lifting program, and then you can lose fat and gain muscle (albeit slowly) at the same time. Besides, at your height 1200 calories is definitely too low.
Some links to help you out:
http://community.myfitnesspal.com/en/discussion/10177803/recomposition-maintaining-weight-while-losing-fat
http://community.myfitnesspal.com/en/discussion/10332083/which-lifting-program-is-the-best-for-you0 -
It depends which is the "lesser of 2 evils" for you. Personally I would always advise cutting further first before trying to gain muscle.1
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A ) keep losing weight even if i don't like how my upper body looks and just focus on losing fat from thighs.
B ) gain and weight-lift and focus on gaining in my thighs,but then i would build muscles under a huge chunck of fat, then what? Cut again, but i will still be only losing from my upper body since my lower body or especially thighs are like my only strugglr area.
I am sorry if the post is so long, i just need some motivation and advice regarding both points i mentioned, struggling with apetite, and body shape. [/quote]
The problem with option A is that there is no way to "focus on losing fat from thighs". You cannot spot reduce so if you keep losing weight, you'll lose it from where you are genetically predisposed to lose it from. You may find that your upper body becomes quite lean and that your thighs are still carrying too much fat for your liking. It's unfortunate but most people struggle with this in one way or another myself included (I'm convinced even dead, as a skeleton, I will have lower back fat). This isn't to say that if you continue to lose fat you won't get lucky and have a disproportionate amount come from your thighs but I just wouldn't go into it expecting that.
Option B is fine if you want to gain muscle and to a point you can "spot gain" but you shouldn't IMO. If you purposely work an area of your body while neglecting others you will "spot gain" muscle but I can't think of any decent reason why. My personal opinion is that a good muscular base, even if covered by fat, looks better than a poor muscular base covered by the same amount of fat, but that's just me, others might disagree. What's your opinion, because that's what really matters. As far as recomping, I am usually not a fan of pure recomps in people who haven't at least done a couple cycles of muscle gaining followed by fat loss. I really feel strongly that the net amount of muscle gained and fat lost is quite a bit more for someone who cycles fat loss and muscle gain vs. someone who recomps. Once you have trained for a few years the difference in net muscle gains/fat losses between recomps and cycling starts to become more similar but I still favor cycles for most people.
The bottom line is you need to decide what is more important to you. If you continue to lose weight, you might not lose it from where you want. You will eventually lose from your thighs but probably not in the proportion you desire compared to how much upper body fat you lose. If you gain muscle you'll do just that, gain muscle. When you transition back into fat loss you will probably "look better" than before you gained muscle but again, looking better is a matter of opinion and personal tastes.2 -
Your eyes may be deceiving you about your thighs. Did you take measurements before that you can compare to measurements now? If not, did you keep a pair of "fat" jeans and how do they fit now?
I'm concerned about the very negative way you are talking about your body. Do discuss this with your therapist. Maybe also ask your GYN or someone who is neutral and sees you naked for a reality check.
But regardless, recomping may indeed help you feel better about your body.1 -
It sounds like our shapes are very similar. I'm at 142# at 5-7", a healthy BMI, but still have quite a bit of fat on my butt and thighs.
I have been working intensely to build my shoulders, the larger they get, the more balanced I look. The boobs are a casualty of the chest and arm work (and I couldn't care less).
I agree with @malibu927 on recomp. But you will need to eat properly and have some serious patience.0 -
You're in the middle of a healthy BMI, so losing a few more pounds probably wouldn't be a problem. However, you can't choose where the loss will come from, nor the gains from bulking.
My suggestion is actually to recomp. Eat at maintenance, start a progressive full-body lifting program, and then you can lose fat and gain muscle (albeit slowly) at the same time. Besides, at your height 1200 calories is definitely too low.
Some links to help you out:
http://community.myfitnesspal.com/en/discussion/10177803/recomposition-maintaining-weight-while-losing-fat
http://community.myfitnesspal.com/en/discussion/10332083/which-lifting-program-is-the-best-for-you
Thank you so much for your reply and advice.. I appreciate it, i will check those links especially for following a weight lifting program. I used to life but i get discourged easily if i don't see results in a few months and tbh i don't know how long should i be lifting to get an actual result in terms of muscle definition. Also i never knew when to increase weights i lift.0 -
It sounds like our shapes are very similar. I'm at 142# at 5-7", a healthy BMI, but still have quite a bit of fat on my butt and thighs.
I have been working intensely to build my shoulders, the larger they get, the more balanced I look. The boobs are a casualty of the chest and arm work (and I couldn't care less).
I agree with @malibu927 on recomp. But you will need to eat properly and have some serious patience.
Yeah. From your profile pic, your shape is definitely like mine although i am like having no fat in my upper body and smaller waist and bigger hips than yours. It's like i have a ball of fat on my thighs.. Lol.. Very awkward looking. I still don't know what's the benefits of recomp against bulking?
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kshama2001 wrote: »Your eyes may be deceiving you about your thighs. Did you take measurements before that you can compare to measurements now? If not, did you keep a pair of "fat" jeans and how do they fit now?
I'm concerned about the very negative way you are talking about your body. Do discuss this with your therapist. Maybe also ask your GYN or someone who is neutral and sees you naked for a reality check.
But regardless, recomping may indeed help you feel better about your body.
Unfortunately, i have no measurements from before, i had some pics before, but my phone was stolen and i didn't backup those photos. So right now i can't even compare how i look versus before. But before my phone was stolen i had a few pics taken over a period of 4 months. And i did notice a huge difference in my upper body. I was overweight back then.. It didn't show that much because other than my thighs, the weight was distributed evenly all over my body. My arms were thicker.. I even had one roll on my back. Stomach wasn't huge because that's just how ny body is.. Right now i still use the same jeans i used back then. Of course it fits better, but i didn't need to change sizes.. My jeans now are just more looser around my leg.. But not my thighs.
My measurements now
Bust 35.6 inch
Waist 29.9 inch
Hips 43.1 inch
Just so you can have an idea of how my body actually look.
The difference between my way and my thighs is huge.
However, i know there's nothing i can do about genetics, like i just need my body to be proportionate. So weight lifting might help especially because i don't gain fat in my butt either. Just bigger thighs.. So flat butt and huge hips/thighs. Lol
Edit: I also admit that i look at my body in a negative way. I know it's not right and i talk to ny therapist about it.. But it is still hard for me to love my body the way it us. Thank you for your concern
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trigden1991 wrote: »It depends which is the "lesser of 2 evils" for you. Personally I would always advise cutting further first before trying to gain muscle.
Yeah, it does make more sense to me to cut more. I just need to deal with my emotions regarding how i am gonna look if i keep cutting... Thanks for your reply and advice0 -
The problem with option A is that there is no way to "focus on losing fat from thighs". You cannot spot reduce so if you keep losing weight, you'll lose it from where you are genetically predisposed to lose it from. You may find that your upper body becomes quite lean and that your thighs are still carrying too much fat for your liking. It's unfortunate but most people struggle with this in one way or another myself included (I'm convinced even dead, as a skeleton, I will have lower back fat). This isn't to say that if you continue to lose fat you won't get lucky and have a disproportionate amount come from your thighs but I just wouldn't go into it expecting that.A ) keep losing weight even if i don't like how my upper body looks and just focus on losing fat from thighs.
B ) gain and weight-lift and focus on gaining in my thighs,but then i would build muscles under a huge chunck of fat, then what? Cut again, but i will still be only losing from my upper body since my lower body or especially thighs are like my only strugglr area.
I am sorry if the post is so long, i just need some motivation and advice regarding both points i mentioned, struggling with apetite, and body shape.
Option B is fine if you want to gain muscle and to a point you can "spot gain" but you shouldn't IMO. If you purposely work an area of your body while neglecting others you will "spot gain" muscle but I can't think of any decent reason why. My personal opinion is that a good muscular base, even if covered by fat, looks better than a poor muscular base covered by the same amount of fat, but that's just me, others might disagree. What's your opinion, because that's what really matters. As far as recomping, I am usually not a fan of pure recomps in people who haven't at least done a couple cycles of muscle gaining followed by fat loss. I really feel strongly that the net amount of muscle gained and fat lost is quite a bit more for someone who cycles fat loss and muscle gain vs. someone who recomps. Once you have trained for a few years the difference in net muscle gains/fat losses between recomps and cycling starts to become more similar but I still favor cycles for most people.
The bottom line is you need to decide what is more important to you. If you continue to lose weight, you might not lose it from where you want. You will eventually lose from your thighs but probably not in the proportion you desire compared to how much upper body fat you lose. If you gain muscle you'll do just that, gain muscle. When you transition back into fat loss you will probably "look better" than before you gained muscle but again, looking better is a matter of opinion and personal tastes. [/quote]
I get your point, but if i cycle between bulking and cutting.. When do i stop bulking? Like when you cut, you just do it until you're happy with how you look. But I would never know when to stop gaining0 -
In the next few days i might not keep up with th thread because i am getting married on Thursday. But i will be reading all replies for sure. So thanks to everyone that posted and will post and advice. I appreciate your help0
This discussion has been closed.
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