I am having a difficult time with comments.

It is a highly personal question and people nose in all the time, often tinged with not a small dose of envy.

Try this.

"Thank you! It's been very hard but so worth it. And don't worry, it's not cancer."

I say "Thank you" because it is a terrific achievement. I say, "It's been very hard" to let the inquirer off the hook for their own lack of progress.

I've had to reassure a few people that my rapid weight loss was not due to some sort of fatal illness. But I spare them details. Because as you have correctly noted, this is a highly personal enterprise.

Try and keep the embarrassment in check. Mean people will use it against you and it just confuses well-wishers.

I struggle with this as well, I would prefer it if no one saw my body at all ever! I haven't made any headway on this round yet, but I know once I do people willstart to comment. I think in most cases it is well meaning (at least in my experience) and I try to remember that, breathe and just say thank you before moving on.

Some great advice in this thread too on what to say! I especially like the idea of focusing on healthy living instead of the weight itself (as if that is secondary, which it might be).

Good luck!

I had a guy I knew years ago who changed jobs and is now a car salesman say to me. "Oh Tom...you're a lot heavier than you were before, i didn't recognize you" Mind you the a alot heavier was about 25lbs at the time. What I wanted to say is "Hey Pete, your still as fat as ever and I think you may be even more bald". Some people just never say the right things. either way, good or bad, if it bothers you pass it off and forget it. by all means don't let anyone else dictate how you feel especially if its a bad feeling.

I've lost the 25lbs and am a lot healthier, yet no one I know, family included has said a word. such is life. its not changing what i'm doing or what my goals are.

Oh and Pete....the moron I spoke of...we were on the lot to buy a car. he didn't nor will ever get a sale from me.

OP, I feel your pain. It is beyond rude to comment on someone else's weight, full stop. You shouldn't have to try and convince yourself not to feel awkward -- they are the ones being impolite, not you.

Since you can't control what dumb thing someone else is going to say, just be prepared to say, "Thank you," and either walk away or change the subject completely (if this is someone you actually have to maintain a relationship with). You can add a smile if you're up to it, but don't feel bad about immediately shutting down any possibility of further discussion.

I personally don't think it's out of line to walk away without saying anything, either, but that may not work if these are people you have to deal with in the future.

janedoedont wrote: »

Hi all,

I started watching my diet and exercising back in December. I've been trucking along, and doing well using MFP. I've mostly kept this all to myself, save for a few people close to me. I've not told my family, or coworkers.

I'm now at a point where I guess it is noticable and people have started making comments about how much I have lost. This is making me very uncomfortable. I clam up, turn beet-red, and usually walk away. I'm not really one to talk about personal things and I feel like this is very personal to me. I don't know what to say. I don't bring it up and I feel like they shouldn't either.

Help? How can I stop freaking out?

I also have a hard time accepting compliments. If someone asks me if I have lost weight, I have learned to just say "Yes, I have been working on it" and leave it at that.

If they say something like "you have lost weight, haven't you? Looking good" I just say "Thanks"

If they press the issue and ask "how much?", I just say "not enough . . . still working on it"

If they want to know how I am doing it, my answer always is "eating less and moving more".

Any more in-depth questions, unless they are good friends or have already shared that they are losing too (get some of those at the gym), get a change of subject.

From my own experience, I have found it is very hard to take a compliment when one is offered. I've been with my husband for 45 years and we had been married about 10-15 years when I complained he never complimented me any more. What he told me changed how I took a compliment from then on. He said: "Why bother? You always make some disparaging remark about any compliment I give you so I quit giving them." Sometimes, when a person is very private or doesn't feel one deserves a compliment, we oftentimes block the compliment without even thinking.

It's going to be very hard at first but with me, I just started by saying "Thank you" no matter how hard it was for me to do and leaving it at that. Since losing weight with all the people I know but rarely see anymore, whenever I run into one of them, of course it's noticeable so comments are going to be made...nothing I can do about that. So, I do my best to just thank them for noticing and moving on. If I'm asked how I did it, I just tell them I started watching calories and portion sizes and joined MFP. They also know I used to walk with a cane due to a very deteriorated hip and could barely move. When they ask about that, I tell them I had a hip replacement and am finally able to move again. Between watching calories and walking again, I have been able to be successful with weight loss is how I put it all together. Then I change the subject, making it about the other person and no longer about me.

It is still uncomfortable even after all these years of 'practicing' saying "Thank you" but my philosophy is it's better for me to be a little uncomfortable by taking a compliment than to hurt someone feelings for giving me one. Weight loss may be a personal thing but it is also something anyone around you is going to notice. Do not give up working on yourself, no matter how uncomfortable compliments may be for you. It's really not about others, it really is only about you when it comes to your health and well being.

cbeutler wrote: »

Have fun and say Coke and Mexican diet pills

This could actually work. I've been accused of losing weight because of a crack habit (which I don't have, and have never had). I'm assuming you meant cocaine and not Coca Cola. If I'm wrong, apologies.