I feel like I'm overreacting but opinions are welcome
Replies
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Well, you'll know more Wednesday. Just don't continue to pester the guy and be clingy and need constant emotional support. If you're ready to sleep together, you also have to be ready to accept any consequences that may come with it.
I'm not saying wait until marriage, I'm saying be smart.7 -
browneyedgirl749 wrote: »browneyedgirl749 wrote: »senior_citizen wrote: »This is what isnwrong eith millennials today. Shen I was dating my wife in the former days we did not sleep togrther until the wedding. I yell my grandchildren... you have to be better than giving yourselt away so soon. We have degraded as a society.
Times change. You can't expect the younger generations to follow the same rules our parents or grandparents did. To some, sex has become a more casual thing. Back in your day, there wasn't a thing called "friends with benefits." Now it's more common. Hell I have one. I don't want to be in a relationship but I have needs. It's a mutual agreement. And I am pre-millennial.
Times change is no excuse. I expect all 3 of my kids when they come of age to respect themselves enough not to have sex with everybody. I'm only 35 and I think yes people have needs one friend is plenty. I hear so many Young people I work with. Myltiple a week. That is careless even with protection.
I said nothing about sleeping with everyone. I know people back in the day were doing stuff people are doing now, it is just more socially acceptable now, that is what I meant by times change. Being with multiple people a week just makes you a *kitten*, male or female. But you don't have to be married, or in a relationship, to have sex.
That's why I said 1 friend is plenty. I know you don't say sleeping with everyone I said the young people I work with. It's really crazy to hear how many partners some of them have.
There is a term to describe those young people... it's the same word used back in the day and it's still used now...
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Motorsheen wrote: »browneyedgirl749 wrote: »senior_citizen wrote: »This is what isnwrong eith millennials today. Shen I was dating my wife in the former days we did not sleep togrther until the wedding. I yell my grandchildren... you have to be better than giving yourselt away so soon. We have degraded as a society.
Times change. You can't expect the younger generations to follow the same rules our parents or grandparents did. To some, sex has become a more casual thing. Back in your day, there wasn't a thing called "friends with benefits." Now it's more common. Hell I have one. I don't want to be in a relationship but I have needs. It's a mutual agreement. And I am pre-millennial.
Times change is no excuse. I expect all 3 of my kids when they come of age to respect themselves enough not to have sex with everybody. I'm only 35 and I think yes people have needs one friend is plenty. I hear so many Young people I work with. Myltiple a week. That is careless even with protection.
these young people you work with.....
digits?
Lol I'm an observer not a friend. I have no digits just here them bragging to each Other. That's another thing they have no shame spreading their business. Smh
"Observer" is such a nice word for eavesdropping. Not your conversation, not your business.6 -
Times change is no excuse. I expect all 3 of my kids when they come of age to respect themselves enough not to have sex with everybody. I'm only 35 and I think yes people have needs one friend is plenty. I hear so many Young people I work with. Myltiple a week. That is careless even with protection.
How is having lots of sex a sign of lack of respect ?
I don't engage personnaly in that kind of behavior, because it's not something I wish for. But if someone else wants to do it, what's wrong with it ? Two people wanting to spend some time in the bedroom (or elsewhere
) and then having fun, sharing a moment and pleasing themselves : how is that exactly a sign of lack of self-respect ?
You can argue that's it's not an effective way to have a long lasting relationship. To that, I don't really know. But it might not be what they're aiming for.
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AskMorphis wrote: »Times change is no excuse. I expect all 3 of my kids when they come of age to respect themselves enough not to have sex with everybody. I'm only 35 and I think yes people have needs one friend is plenty. I hear so many Young people I work with. Myltiple a week. That is careless even with protection.
How is having lots of sex a sign of lack of respect ?
I don't engage personnaly in that kind of behavior, because it's not something I wish for. But if someone else wants to do it, what's wrong with it ? Two people wanting to spend some time in the bedroom (or elsewhere ) and then having fun, sharing a moment and pleasing themselves : how is that exactly a sign of lack of self-respect ?
I understand.
I'm all about self............. respect
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I didn't realize you were talking about having many partners at the same time. In that case, I'm with you. Unless they're all aware of the situation and still up for it, but it's unlikely.1
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Morning sex solves many problems.
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browneyedgirl749 wrote: »senior_citizen wrote: »This is what isnwrong eith millennials today. Shen I was dating my wife in the former days we did not sleep togrther until the wedding. I yell my grandchildren... you have to be better than giving yourselt away so soon. We have degraded as a society.
Times change. You can't expect the younger generations to follow the same rules our parents or grandparents did. To some, sex has become a more casual thing. Back in your day, there wasn't a thing called "friends with benefits." Now it's more common. Hell I have one. I don't want to be in a relationship but I have needs. It's a mutual agreement. And I am pre-millennial.
Times change is no excuse. I expect all 3 of my kids when they come of age to respect themselves enough not to have sex with everybody. I'm only 35 and I think yes people have needs one friend is plenty. I hear so many Young people I work with. Myltiple a week. That is careless even with protection.
That's why you have one friend with benefits, and you play hard to get with guys you go on dates with.
Problem solved.2 -
A lot of people are making a big fuzz about sleeping with someone. I didn't sleep with my fiance until my third date, and for me that is waiting a long time. I could have waited longer if we wanted to, but we decided we both were ready. I used to sleep around a lot-not proud of it-just sharing. I didn't get the satisfaction I get now of feeling complete. I think sleeping together or waiting is a personal choice that is up to every single one of us. I don't think he "got what he wanted". I think you both got what you wanted, and as long as he answers your messages you have nothing to worry about. If I didn't want to see the person again, I used to let them know my intentions before sleeping with them, but that is me being direct.5
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Next time you have sex with someone for the first time, don't tell them you were trying to power through
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Just as an update, I and some of you were right. He told me “he wasn’t sure if he was still interested…he didn’t feel any type of connection last time we hung out” and I seemed “bored and disinterested”. I once again explained I wasn’t bored or disinterested, that I didn’t feel well and that was it and I did have an interest. I said if he wants to try one more time I would, or if he doesn’t I would respect it, but just let me know and he replied with “ok then it’s a no”
sigh.3 -
MayaSPapaya wrote: »Just as an update, I and some of you were right. He told me “he wasn’t sure if he was still interested…he didn’t feel any type of connection last time we hung out” and I seemed “bored and disinterested”. I once again explained I wasn’t bored or disinterested, that I didn’t feel well and that was it and I did have an interest. I said if he wants to try one more time I would, or if he doesn’t I would respect it, but just let me know and he replied with “ok then it’s a no”
sigh.
Sorry to hear that it didn't work out. Have some commiserations from this mfp randomer. Dating isn't always fun. Feel the feelings that probably won't be pleasant and then move on.0 -
You over-shared in your text. He probably didn't even think much of you seeming distant. Be chill sister!3
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Sorry OP, just read your update. It's okay...you're young! I'm single and 31 in NYC. It's a whole different ball game now.1
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Caporegiem wrote: »Unless your name is Tiffany I've got some bad news....
LOL what is with you and the TIffanys of the world?1 -
You know that gut feeling that something is not right?... Or that he is being cold/weird??
Usually they are right.4 -
Boys....smh1
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Y'all aren't really talking about apples, are ya?2
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Yeah, well that's the thing, men in general think clearer AFTER sex, women BEFORE sex.
So his hormones calmed down afterwards and he was able to think clearly, and he decided he wasn't really all that interested in the first place.
And this is why you have to be aware of the consequences of sleeping with someone maybe too soon. I'm not saying what you did was wrong, it's just a learning experience. Be aware that hormones muddy our thought process to help ensure survival of the DNA, but it also makes dating difficult unfortunately.
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Now text him back in 6 weeks and say because of the screwed up birth control you are pregnant and that yall need to talk. Let him stew in it for a day or until he text you back WHAT????? and say oopps never mind.7
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