Help or not to help

mrk34
mrk34 Posts: 227 Member
edited September 30 in Health and Weight Loss
How do you react when you talk to your co-worker or schoolmate, who is obese, and says that he wishes he could lose weight, but keeps eating junk food and has several other elements of unhealthy life style?

Do you feel like sharing your weight loss related experience and knowledge?

Do you attempt to get that person onboard with healthy lifestyle?

Do you try to encourage or inspire others?

Replies

  • bmw4deb
    bmw4deb Posts: 1,324 Member
    I tell everyone who ask's about MFP , I love it and talk to much about it lol
  • aprilaugustus
    aprilaugustus Posts: 19
    Of course you help. Just give some beginner tips or whatnot. If they don't seem to want help, then stop.
  • bry_all01
    bry_all01 Posts: 3,100 Member
    I tell everyone who ask's about MFP , I love it and talk to much about it lol



    I do, too. :bigsmile: But, in the regards of the co-worker, I am not sure you can force a healthier lifestyle on others. They have to want it for themselves.... :ohwell:
  • LotsOtots5
    LotsOtots5 Posts: 174
    I try not to be pushy about it because that can rarely be good for the situation. I just try to lead by example. If someone asks me "have you lost weight" I'll tell them about mfp. Occasionally I'll ask people if they want to go bike riding or walking with me. If I ask them 3 times and they keep declining, I'll quit asking because I assume they're not interested. I do like to help people out when I can.
  • cuerpito
    cuerpito Posts: 65 Member
    It's a tricky situation. I've been there twice:
    1. My coworker asked what I was doing because she also wanted to lose weight. I suggested mfp but she didn't really follow any of my advice. Then, continued to ask and complain about her lack of results and I absolutely didn't know what to say (I wanted to say "I told you and you didn't listen")
    2. This one was even harder. My mom wanted to lose weight. She lives in Europe but was visiting now for over a month. Before she came, we talked about that she would just join me in my efforts and we would do it together. Not only did she not want to eat with me but constantly gets upset about the fact that I don't eat what she cooks. She actually continues to point out to my sister (over Skype) how I don't eat what she eats - in a VERY sarcastic manner. It's very upsetting and disappointing. Instead of support, I feel like I'm being put down because I want to make my life healthier.... oh well...

    So, even though you could be excited about helping your friend, the will for change really needs to come from within! Good luck!
  • supertracylynn
    supertracylynn Posts: 1,338 Member
    Good question!

    My neighbors know my story and constantly ask me to help support them in weight loss, then bail on me for workouts, continue eating crap, then BRING ME THEIR SUGARPOISONBAKEDGOODS to taste test for them.
    For 2 years I've dealt with this.

    Finally, I have had enough. You want my best advice?

    Ignore them completely, they don't care, they are addicted to punishing themselves then whining about it. They are heck bent on bringing your success to a halt then reverse.

    RUN like the wind as far away from them as you can get!!

    Save yourself and your waistline while you can!!
  • bjohs
    bjohs Posts: 1,225 Member
    How do you react when you talk to your co-worker or schoolmate, who is obese, and says that he wishes he could lose weight, but keeps eating junk food and has several other elements of unhealthy life style?

    Do you feel like sharing your weight loss related experience and knowledge?

    Do you attempt to get that person onboard with healthy lifestyle?

    Do you try to encourage or inspire others?

    I would first tell them that it is a wonderful step to want to become healthier. I would next tell them that I am here if they want any suggestions on how to get started and all they have to do is ask. It is now up to them to determine how serious they are about doing something about it. When they are ready, they will know they can come to me for help. :) Until they are ready to make those first steps... any unsolicited help would be futile. I hope your co-worker finds the strength to go for it!
  • makena78
    makena78 Posts: 162 Member
    I say if they ask for the advise then give them your advise. It's up to them to take it or leave it. Don't keep giving it to them everytime they whine if that's really what they're doing. Somehow I think they will just find an excuse. But, I'd offer it once or twice and that's it. If they really want the help you let them know you will always be there and then it's done with until then. It's not your stress to worry over them if you've offered.
  • MamaMayo
    MamaMayo Posts: 30
    You can always try to help but keep in mind, you can't help someone unless they want to help themselves first! Once they start taking the actions, even if "little steps" then it's there that you can give advice, suggest, or thoughts of things they can do to lead to a healthy lifestyle! Best of luck!

    I have learnt thought my process of weightloss, some people accept it, some don't. Sometimes it can put a burden on a relationship because it takes effect and time. I have decided that I have made it this far, I will keep going weather I have the support of my family or not. The one's who support me the most are the ones who make a difference in my life!
  • mrk34
    mrk34 Posts: 227 Member
    Would you mention the topic if the other person never brings it up?
  • cuerpito
    cuerpito Posts: 65 Member
    Nope.
  • kandrews24
    kandrews24 Posts: 610 Member
    I have learned (the hard way) since unsolicited advice is almost never welcome, to adopt a very strict policy. I offer assistance/advice when asked AND only to the degree asked.

    My father (an Eagle Scout) often asked folks this telling question. "If you see an old man crossing the street and he falls down, what should you do?"

    Most people say "Help him up and across the street." Incorrect.

    Correct Answer: "Ask him if he would like help." :flowerforyou:

    The farthest I ever go (and this is very rare) is to ask the person if they are interested in further info. Some people appreciate that, and will be frank enough to say "No, thanks". Others will feel obligated to be polite and say "Yes" but they don't really want it.

    In sum, people seek answers and solutions when and if they want to. An obese person is well aware that they are unhealthy and overweight. There are lots of tools available. Unless that person is your child, it seems it is none of your business (unless they ask). (In my opinion.) If they ask, answer the questions. If you want to say more (than they are asking), then ask them if they want to hear more, because you are happy to help but dont' want to ramble on if this isn't a good time.
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