Help advice needed ...please

fannytoot
fannytoot Posts: 87 Member
edited November 20 in Health and Weight Loss
Hi, everyone I have come back to this site to see if I can get any help. I have been here on and off for years. Last year I put on weight very suddenly I shot up from 8stone 10 to 9 stone I am 5ft 2 I am also a very active person and watch what I eat I don't really eat junk food very often sometimes half a Chinese in a Friday . I decided to be stricter with my diet but it didn't help and I stayed the same. Puzzled I went to the doctor and they did bloods for underactive thyroid this came back fine.
I then joined slimming world and stuck to it faithfully for 6 weeks and only lost a pound !
Feeling upset and angry with myself for being the only person to have probably joined and lost next to nothing.
So I then decided to add in extra walking with a five mile walk daily and walking everywhere in between still nothing !! I have tried upping my calories thinking I wasn't eating enough no change in weight! I then cut my calories drastically still no change in weight .
6 weeks ago I joined the gym I run five miles sometimes add two in for walking on the treadmill. I have also tried to change my routine and mix it up a bit. And on top of that I decided to keep walking some days I was clocking 30000 steps on my fit bit. And still I weigh the exact same.
I am now beyond frustrated upset and disgusted with myself I don't know what else I can do. Years ago I had an eating disorder and I'm scared that somehow I have screwed up my metabolism forever as I had it for 15 years on and off
I ask you all here where do I go from here. I want you all to know I am not lying I am not sitting secretly eating junk but I am so confused. Has anyone here ever experienced the same problem how do I fix it. Typical food for me to eat in a day would be oats, salmon and greens, brown rice Greek yogurt . Nothing is ever fried I use low calorie sprays . Please be kind I'm feeling really emotional

Replies

  • SLLeask
    SLLeask Posts: 489 Member
    First of all, you have only put on 4 lbs, that is really not a lot, I go up and down by that several times a week! Just a few other questions that might narrow down what is going on - are you weighing yourself on the same scale each time? Are you sure it's working? It's very odd to be the exact same weight every single time you weigh. How often are you weighing? How are your clothes fitting? Do you weigh all your solid food on a digital scale and measure all you drink, excluding water? Is your diary open? Maybe the answer to some of these questions could help. All the best.
  • fannytoot
    fannytoot Posts: 87 Member
    Hi I weigh 9. Something or 9 stone 1. Something but I don't seem to budge from this at all . I'm confused . Same scale every single morning clothes off after the toilet. Clothes are feeling the same. I don't weigh everything I eat because I don't eat a lot. Salmon I just use it straight out of the packet , veg I would have a good plateful. Etc I've just come back here today after exhausting all the other options including slimming world which I adhered to strictly. I will try weighing everything to see if it makes a difference. But even if I starve myself to one small meal I just stay the same it's like I'm stuck ! Thanks for advice
  • fannytoot
    fannytoot Posts: 87 Member
    Thanks middlehaitch I am at my wits end now fed up and worried my metabolism is damaged
  • rheddmobile
    rheddmobile Posts: 6,840 Member
    Well, if it was a metabolism problem, you would have seen a further climb when you added in more calories.
  • fannytoot
    fannytoot Posts: 87 Member
    Thanks I guess so but to be fair I didn't add that much extra. Years of an eating disorder mean that I struggle with foods . I'm terrified of getting really fat. I feel overweight as it is. I'm just trying to figure out where I am going wrong . I see people who just add in a small walk cut a few hundred calories and lose effortlessly
  • rheddmobile
    rheddmobile Posts: 6,840 Member
    The thing is, obsessing about it isn't healthy for you... you already know this. As someone recovering from an eating disorder you want to be careful not to fall back into disordered ways of thinking, like being disgusted with yourself because of a small weight gain. Overexercising can be bad too. Do you have a professional you can talk to about your feelings?
  • Christine_72
    Christine_72 Posts: 16,049 Member
    You've got some good replies, but i just have to comment on your username :lol: I'm in Australia, and the word fanny means a womans genital area :flushed:
  • middlehaitch
    middlehaitch Posts: 8,486 Member
    fannytoot wrote: »
    Thanks middlehaitch I am at my wits end now fed up and worried my metabolism is damaged

    Your metabolism isn't damaged.
    You may be retaining water from your 30000 steps if you are sporadically throwing in a walk of that length.
    Because you are stressing over the 5lbs gain your cortisol levels may have risen, that too will cause water retention.

    Water retention will mask any fat loss you may have had.

    Try to relax.
    Regulate your exercise this will help prevent water retention.

    Log and weigh everything- even if you don't eat much, eat the same thing every day, eat out of packages. With so little to lose accuracy is important if you want to succeed.

    Stick with it for 2 month. You should be seeing results by then.

    Cheers, h.
  • dutchandkiwi
    dutchandkiwi Posts: 1,389 Member
    fannytoot wrote: »
    Thanks I guess so but to be fair I didn't add that much extra. Years of an eating disorder mean that I struggle with foods . I'm terrified of getting really fat. I feel overweight as it is. I'm just trying to figure out where I am going wrong . I see people who just add in a small walk cut a few hundred calories and lose effortlessly

    Yes but those people do not tend to be in normal BMI range but usually far above.
    I am in the middle of my BMI now and shifting that last 500g to meet my goal is taking so much more time, effort etc than any weight I have lost before. My margins of error are just that much smaller. But ultimately consistency, honesty does it.
    Also those low can sprays do you log it? After all they are oil still and who on earth ever sprays 0.5 seconds with those (which is the serving size)
  • fannytoot
    fannytoot Posts: 87 Member
    Hi rheddmobile I don't know how to answer directly under what you have said. But no I keep these feelings to myself . I've spent the last few months feeling so sad some mornings I cry when I step in the scales.
  • cs2thecox
    cs2thecox Posts: 533 Member
    As other people have said, a 4lb gain isn't really much, particularly if your clothes still fit the same. It's super rare to have your weight be totally consistent so, as someone who also used to chase a number, I'd recommend making sure you take some time to figure out *why* that number is important to you. Think it through, talk to a friend, write a list, whatever works for you. Once you've figured out the reasons, are they things that you can let go of? Is accepting the 4lb something you're willing to do?

    I managed to move away from worrying about my weight to focusing on what I can lift and how I look, and it helped my head a LOT. Chasing a number just stressed me out and made me unhappy, then I finally figured out that the number was just a number. It wasn't a mark of success. No-one else cared what I weighed, as long as I was healthy. It was just something I'd got obsessed with for no good reason. Once I realized there was no good reason, I was fine with letting it go. Now it's all about making sure my arms are toned and my tummy's flat. I only weigh myself about once every 3 months when I get my body fat measured. It's super liberating.

    There are also many other factors to weight beyond food, and how your body responds to various things.
    As mentioned, stress hormones don't help, so worrying about it isn't great. Also, sleep. Making sure you're getting enough rest is really, really important.
  • fannytoot
    fannytoot Posts: 87 Member
    Cs2thecox You really sound as if you have your head screwed on I wish I could retrain my brain. Perhaps hormones are coming into play I am nearly 45 . I'm just so scared that if I accept this as my new weight it might jump up even more then I will be stuck again. So scared of being overweight approaching the menapouse as I've heard so many horror stories of women piling on pounds for no reason during it. I'm just so frustrated
  • cs2thecox
    cs2thecox Posts: 533 Member
    You totally CAN retrain your brain!
    You just have to choose to want to... And frankly you've started that already by saying you're even slightly thinking about accepting your new weight, so acknowledge that as a positive step.

    I don't know what the best way is to do the brain retraining thing, and I'm sure there are a million books and people dedicated to the many varieties of that.
    But I'm going to go off at a bit of a tangent instead, and say maybe think about a few sessions of life coaching. Nothing to do with your body or nutrition, but life in general, your confidence, where you're at in life with being a bit worried about menopause, maybe checking in with how your job's going and so on. I think that might be a safe/easy way to learn some of the critical self-analysis skills that in due course you could apply to your body worries.
  • jayemes
    jayemes Posts: 865 Member
    fannytoot wrote: »
    But even if I starve myself to one small meal I just stay the same it's like I'm stuck !
    Starving yourself isn't the answer. You have to eat for energy and health. If you're not eating enough your body isn't going to let go of any weight - you'll just feel horrible and have no energy.
    I understand not wanting to "let yourself go" but I feel like you may be overly stressed about a few pounds.
    I'm 44 so I get where you're coming from - I just think you need to take a step back and look at what you're doing.
    Eat your calories. Get your exercise. You'll be healthy and look healthy. Don't stress about the number on the scale. It's just a number. I can go up or down 4 pounds in a day. Good luck :smile:
  • ccrdragon
    ccrdragon Posts: 3,374 Member
    jayemes wrote: »
    fannytoot wrote: »
    But even if I starve myself to one small meal I just stay the same it's like I'm stuck !
    Starving yourself isn't the answer. You have to eat for energy and health. If you're not eating enough your body isn't going to let go of any weight - you'll just feel horrible and have no energy.
    I understand not wanting to "let yourself go" but I feel like you may be overly stressed about a few pounds.
    I'm 44 so I get where you're coming from - I just think you need to take a step back and look at what you're doing.
    Eat your calories. Get your exercise. You'll be healthy and look healthy. Don't stress about the number on the scale. It's just a number. I can go up or down 4 pounds in a day. Good luck :smile:

    To the bolded part - this is totally wrong. Your body does not magically produce energy from nothing - it still burns calories from the food that you eat even when eating very few calories (how do you thing anorexics manage to lose all that weight?). Needing to eat more to prevent your body from storing the calories that you eat is a myth.

    The rest of the post was good info, tho.
  • rheddmobile
    rheddmobile Posts: 6,840 Member
    With your history of eating disorder it might be good for you to get some counseling. You shouldn't have to feel so sad! While the suggestions here about weight loss are well intentioned, I think the larger issue is that you really don't need to lose weight - and counting and weighing are exactly the opposite of what's typically recommended for people with eating disorders.

    Menopause is different for everyone - I haven't had trouble losing weight after menopause compared to earlier. No need to panic before you know what yours is going to be like. It's good that you're looking after yourself, but not good that it's become a source of grief in your life. I hope you can find a way to feel better, and I'll be pulling for you.
  • Wysewoman53
    Wysewoman53 Posts: 582 Member
    I'm so sorry you are feeling so sad. There is some good advice on here about getting a digital scale, measuring cups and spoons. You may be eating more calories than you think and that's why you may be in more of maintenance mode than a losing one. Being consistent is something I've found has worked for me. Consistent in my calorie intake and exercise, every day. Logging in the food I plan to eat, too, so I know just how many calories I am eating a day has also helped. Do you have an exercise/walking buddy that you can count on to help you keep up exercising every day, not just whenever you join a program at the gym? I also know from experience that drinking lots of water every day helps, too. I wish you good luck and really hope you can stop getting so stressed out and upset about this but also know it's very hard to do once it's stuck in one's head from experience.
  • kokonani
    kokonani Posts: 507 Member
    Maybe you are exercising too much. The muscles are holding onto water from over exercise. Relax and workout only 3-4 times a week. Also, the workouts make you hungrier therefore you could eat more. I am kind of in the same boat at you.. but just give yourself a break. Adjust what you are eating and I would definitely slow down the workouts and walking.
  • fannytoot
    fannytoot Posts: 87 Member
    Hi everyone I just want to say thankyou so much for your very kind replies. I exercise between 5-7 times a week some days I add in a 3 -4 mile walk as well as walking my boy to school and back and down the street to get shopping. I refuse to take the car and struggle with bags all the way up a large hill. Genuinely I do not understand what I am doing wrong as I said previously I even joined slimming world and followed this strictly. All I lost was a pound . ? I've added more food and also severely restricted myself so all I had was 4 riveta crackers in a day still nothing. Some may not believe me but trust me I would only be lying to myself if I wasn't telling you all the truth. I've thought about writing here for months and finally plucked up the courage today. It's so frustrating and I feel so anxious because nothing seems to be working. I will try weighing my food . Thanks again
  • sollyn23l2
    sollyn23l2 Posts: 1,755 Member
    I'm sorry things have been so difficult for you, I understand how frustrating it can be. You say you've struggled off and on for 15 years with an eating disorder, it really sounds from what you are saying as though you may be falling back in, but I'm no health professional, and neither is anyone else here. I think the best thing you could do for yourself is contact your treatment team if you have one or reach out to a psychologist if you do not. Otherwise, just do the best you can to eat as healthily as you can and remember that in the end, your weight is really just a number and has relatively little to do with how you look or your health.
  • JeromeBarry1
    JeromeBarry1 Posts: 10,179 Member
    When was the last time you logged your food?
  • jayemes
    jayemes Posts: 865 Member
    edited July 2017
    ccrdragon wrote: »
    jayemes wrote: »
    fannytoot wrote: »
    But even if I starve myself to one small meal I just stay the same it's like I'm stuck !
    Starving yourself isn't the answer. You have to eat for energy and health. If you're not eating enough your body isn't going to let go of any weight - you'll just feel horrible and have no energy.
    I understand not wanting to "let yourself go" but I feel like you may be overly stressed about a few pounds.
    I'm 44 so I get where you're coming from - I just think you need to take a step back and look at what you're doing.
    Eat your calories. Get your exercise. You'll be healthy and look healthy. Don't stress about the number on the scale. It's just a number. I can go up or down 4 pounds in a day. Good luck :smile:

    To the bolded part - this is totally wrong. Your body does not magically produce energy from nothing - it still burns calories from the food that you eat even when eating very few calories (how do you thing anorexics manage to lose all that weight?). Needing to eat more to prevent your body from storing the calories that you eat is a myth.

    The rest of the post was good info, tho.

    You're absolutely right @ccrdragon - I totally misspoke. What I was trying to say is that it's not a healthy way to lose weight and without the proper amount of calories, you won't feel good.
  • Sandcastles61
    Sandcastles61 Posts: 506 Member
    Being just 5' myself and 56, I can attest to how very long it takes to lose those last 4-5 pounds.... It was almost as long as it took me to lose the first 25!! I would sometimes only lose .25 pounds in 2 weeks, then nothing again for a bit, then suddenly a pound. Frustrating for sure especially when you are being diligent with weighing and measuring every gram, but slowly and surely by not giving up and having patience I finally got there! Keep the faith :)
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