Social events and lack of family support

bliss3589
bliss3589 Posts: 10 Member
edited November 20 in Health and Weight Loss
Like most people in summer, I have parties to attend on the weekend. Lately, I feel like I'm in the spotlight if I don't eat & drink what everyone else is eating & drinking. Case in point, I am going out for someone's 30th birthday and we're going on a pedal pub tour. I don't want to drink, but I DO want to see my friends and have a good time. When I casually mentioned that I would be bringing LaCroix and not drinking alcohol, I was accused of being "boring" and glared at like I committed an offense. I don't shame other people for their eating/drinking habits. I feel like wherever I go, it gets pointed out that I'm not eating X or drinking Y. It makes me not want to hang out with my friends and family, and I'm starting to build up resentment that I can't seem to count on anyone in my immediate circle for even the most minor support.

Do you experience this? If so, how do you handle it?

Replies

  • vespiquenn
    vespiquenn Posts: 1,455 Member
    Why did you mention it in the first place? Just go, ignore their comments, and have fun.

    Either way, no one actually owes you support. Would it be nice? Of course. But this is your choice, not theirs. But I find that those that are relentless about making comments get bored when you stop responding and humoring them.
  • MiViVe
    MiViVe Posts: 13 Member
    Sounds like some pretty garbage friends.
  • quiksylver296
    quiksylver296 Posts: 28,439 Member
    Meh. I'd shrug and do what I want, personally. My goals, my choices.
  • rosebarnalice
    rosebarnalice Posts: 3,488 Member
    I go, I order what I want ("gimme the club soda, please!"), and I don't apologize to my friends about what I can and can't or will or won't eat or drink. If someone says something, I'll just shrug my shoulders and say, "I'm good!" No need for an explanation.

    If someone pushes, I just smile and say, "it's what I'm in the mood for right now."
  • ninerbuff
    ninerbuff Posts: 49,029 Member
    bliss3589 wrote: »
    Like most people in summer, I have parties to attend on the weekend. Lately, I feel like I'm in the spotlight if I don't eat & drink what everyone else is eating & drinking. Case in point, I am going out for someone's 30th birthday and we're going on a pedal pub tour. I don't want to drink, but I DO want to see my friends and have a good time. When I casually mentioned that I would be bringing LaCroix and not drinking alcohol, I was accused of being "boring" and glared at like I committed an offense. I don't shame other people for their eating/drinking habits. I feel like wherever I go, it gets pointed out that I'm not eating X or drinking Y. It makes me not want to hang out with my friends and family, and I'm starting to build up resentment that I can't seem to count on anyone in my immediate circle for even the most minor support.

    Do you experience this? If so, how do you handle it?
    I've been teaching my DD that if people say they don't like things about her, then that's THEIR problem. It's a NATURAL reaction. They react that way because THEY don't have the discipline to do it.
    However, if it's just a day it shouldn't undo any hard work as long as you try to stay within your calories.

    Also, don't count on support from anyone close to you. You may get some, but from many people I've trained over the years, family and close friends don't give the best support. The people that do are the people that are doing what you're doing.

    A.C.E. Certified Personal and Group Fitness Trainer
    IDEA Fitness member
    Kickboxing Certified Instructor
    Been in fitness for 30 years and have studied kinesiology and nutrition
    9285851.png
  • DX2JX2
    DX2JX2 Posts: 1,921 Member
    I usually retort with an insult that attacks one of their deep seeded issues (weight, appearance, inability to hold onto a SO, etc). Works for me :smiley:
  • MommaGem2017
    MommaGem2017 Posts: 405 Member
    I'd be looking for some new friends. Do you really want to continue to hang out that kind of toxicity?
  • TheJourneyToFabulous
    TheJourneyToFabulous Posts: 381 Member
    My family and 99% of my friends are very supportive and will try and have something I can fit into my goals if they need too. Sorry you feel like this :(
  • lorrpb
    lorrpb Posts: 11,463 Member
    When you make announcements like this, people might feel that their habits are being put down indirectly. I know this is not your intent whatsoever, but some people interpret things in a strange way.
    1. Don't make announcements.
    2. Have a one on one talk with selected friends and family members at another time, share your journey, and ask for their support. Share specific ways they can support you if they seem open. If all they want to do is criticize you, you have some tough choices to make.
    3. Follow YOUR plan not theirs.
  • jemhh
    jemhh Posts: 14,261 Member
    I order what I want and people don't bug me about it. I don't make it a point to tell others what I'm not eating though, as I don't see why they'd care.
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