Help, I'm Dying.

If you are thinking about harming yourself please go to the emergency room, call 911, or look up a suicide prevention hotline for your area.

You can do this!!!! When I quit smoking I used Facebook to help hold me accountable. I am going on 2 years smoke free now. In fact the 20th of July is my 2 year mark. It really did help having everyone stay on top of my not smoking. Loosing weight is just the same. It helps to have people hold you accountable at least that is what I am doing as well. I am new here too and hope to meet nice people that will help me through it too. I am definitely in your corner cheering you on!!!

First off you mentioned that you are suicidal so you should immediately reach out for help with that. Here's the info for the Suicide Prevention Hotline in the US.
1-800-273-8255
https://suicidepreventionlifeline.org/
Next since you also mentioned you have severe depression you should see a physician and likely seek counseling to manage that.
As far as your weight loss goals, incorporating some exercise into your calorie routine might help a little with your depression symptoms. And as your medication helps with symptom management that may help you with motivation to stuck with you fitness goals. I'm sure you're probably familiar with the cycle of gaining weight due to depression and having your depression get worse because you're gaining weight. :-( When it gets hard for me to stay motivated I try to remember "a year from now you're going to wish you started today". And you have started so that's a great first step! Good luck with all aspects of your journey

Why am I airing out everything in this post? I don't know what else to do. I need help. I know I have support from friends and family, but I'd like to meet people here that will hold me accountable. I have nothing else to lose by being honest. I can exercise, but it's the food that's the hardest for me to control. Due to my job I can't really resort to drugs and alcoholism runs in my family so food it is.

This really resonated with me.

I've heard it said before that food is the addiction preferred by people with responsibilities. Abuse of drugs and alcohol exerts an unacceptable toll on those around you long before emotional eating, and over-eating doesn't have the potential to get you fired for being under the influence during your shift the day after.

I agree with other posters above- you can't deal with emotional eating by making yourself miserable. You need alternate sources of happiness, which is a strategy I've employed myself to crack my own habit of reaching for the biscuits under pressure.

TLH9109 wrote: »

Thank you all so much. I do have a doctor that's helping with my depression and anxiety. I'm starting small first. I've started writing in a journal to help too.

Good to see that involving a professional was one of your first steps. We have to know when we need some help beyond what regular friends and family are capable of.

I think it's awesome that you just "put it all out there" for the world to see, owned it, and are moving towards improvements in your life. I think that is an important step that many skip over, hoping that it all just fixes itself as time goes on.

Motivation, accountability, support, first hand success stories (with photos!) and more can be had here on the site. Just find the forms of the above that work best for you and your situation, and avoid what pushes you too far or causes conflict.

You've made some important steps in the right direction.... just keep stepping in that direction and you will reach your goals.

Anyone that comes on here looking for help and is brave enough to be 100% honest regarding their mental state has my full respect and support. Trying to diet is hard enough but when there are other life spanners in the works, it sometimes feel impossible. Support for the depression is the first call...once the happy hormone balance is in place you can get to start on making your own happy You can do this, we all can!

I started severely morbidly obese, and I'm now very close to being classified as simply overweight. The most important thing that helped me was to not overcomplicate it. I'm playing the long game. I only have one rule, whenever I consider a certain strategy I ask myself: do I see myself doing this 5 years from now? If the answer is no, I need to either tweak or discard that strategy. I don't see myself not eating grains in 5 years, so things like paleo, keto...etc are out of the question. I don't see myself not eating dairy, so veganism is out of the question.

Keep in mind the answer to that question may change with time. When I first started I didn't see myself walking for more than 5 minutes. It simply wasn't something I was going to sustain, so that's all I did. I walked for 5 minutes. After a while I saw myself walking for more, but running was out of the question, so I walked more. There was a point where running became feasible, so I took up running. I don't see myself running marathons, so I run but I don't train for marathons. Maybe someday, but that's not in my immediate future. Same thing with food. I could not fathom not having as much olive oil on my salad, so I only reduced it by 1/2-1 a teaspoon at a time. Baby steps and no complete food overhauls is what got me to this point.

For now don't worry too much about the details. Get the basics right first. Learn how to log your food correctly. With time, you may choose to experiment with different strategies and will pick up a few tricks that work for you here and there, but for now all you need to focus on is the basics. I personally focus more on the process itself, not the weight. Every time you learn more about yourself and find something that will help your weight management for life, it's a success, regardless what the scale is telling you. You will spend years losing the weight, and then the rest of your life maintaining it, so what your weight does short term is not important as long as you are learning, and making it as doable as possible and as habit building as possible is more important.