Help me argue this point with my husband

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  • Muana1005
    Muana1005 Posts: 172 Member
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    Need to allow approx 2k calories per restaurant meal. They're huge portions, fat and carb laden, and while great as an irregular treat if you have them everyday you're not going to lose.
  • beth0277
    beth0277 Posts: 217 Member
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    jemhh wrote: »
    I think that when you have to ask a bunch of internet people to help you argue with your husband you are heading down the wrong path.

    If my husband asked me to help him figure out why he wasn't losing weight, I'd say that the key to losing weight is eating in a deficit so let's look over your food log. If I saw what you describe in your husband's log I'd then say that restaurant calories can vary widely and that it can be hard for many people to estimate serving sizes and how much of "invisible" ingredients like oil and butter are in foods that others prepare so in all likelihood the excess calories are coming from those foods and the answer is to cut them back. At that point it would be up to my husband to cut back. We are talking about grown men. Grown independent self-directed men who are going to do what they want to do in the end, just as we grown independent self-directed women are going to do. I wouldn't want it otherwise.

    It's really not that serious. I was asking for someone, perhaps smarter than me, to be able to break it down in a way that I am obviously not able to get it across to him. We're happily married, have been for 10 years, together much longer than that. I'm not too concerned with heading down the wrong path.
  • beth0277
    beth0277 Posts: 217 Member
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    gothchiq wrote: »
    I do like the "make lunch" idea. Yeah it's extra work and yeah he should be able to make his own but in practice... *my* husband would rather stay fat than put in the work to make his own lunches. I know because we tried this.

    I am not willing to sit on my butt and watch him become diabetic like his father did and suffer all sorts of needless ailments because he buys junk out of machines or greasy takeout at lunch. If you love someone the last thing you want to do is watch them fall apart. I think some people mistake this care for controlling but we know different.

    So I make husband's lunch every day. Not boring and tasteless, but stuff he likes. If he gets tired of a particular fruit or vegetable I'll switch it up, and type of sandwich, etc. Or if tired of sandwiches I can make a healthy curry or stir fry and pack that up. Many options. If you know his taste in food and whether he craves variety then you know what to put in there. For example: Husband started bringing back uneaten bananas. OK, I get it. Stop the bananas for now. Send strawberries. Then grapes. Tired of sandwiches, roll up healthy things in a medium size tortilla.

    And, of course, there is the huge money savings! I know Husband has mentioned it's very nice that he has enough calories left for a nice dinner and even a moderate night time snack because I keep the lunch calories reasonable.

    Right - it comes from a place of caring and not control. I want to grow old with him. I only WISH I had someone willing to make my meals and break down the calories for me!
  • AliceDark
    AliceDark Posts: 3,886 Member
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    If you have a man at 300+ pounds eating 2000 calories per day, he should be experiencing fairly rapid weight loss. It wouldn't hurt for him to get a physical to make sure there aren't any medical conditions that could be contributing, but those kinds of issues are relatively rare.

    It's likely that something else is going on here...probably logging inaccuracies. We know that people, even with the best of intentions, can under-estimate their calorie intake by crazy amounts (like 60%), so it's not uncommon to see people eating quite a bit more than they think.

    He should be able to continue to lose weight and still eat restaurant food if he wants to; he may need to compensate during other meals, but he should have a large enough calorie goal to enable a good deal of flexibility. When he eats at restaurants, he could choose lighter-calorie meals, or add vegetables/side salads to cut down on calories from things like pizza, etc. He could eat a lighter breakfast or dinner to allow him to spend more calories on lunch. It's really up to him, though; since his restaurant lunches are in the context of work, it might not be the best solution for you to start packing his lunch. Having him take more ownership of his meals (not less) might be the better answer here.
  • desertfox2001
    desertfox2001 Posts: 13 Member
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    I am going to jump in with a few suggestions/questions/comments.

    Offer to make his lunch a couple times a week, not everyday. Let him have a day or two to eat out. Does he always have to go out with his coworkers, or does he just feel like he has to?

    Since there are not a ton of places he is going out to, and ya'll could sit down in advance and calculate meal options at those restaurants so he knows in advance what would be good meal options. For example, I LOVE Wendy's. have been eating their double stacks forever. I sat down and looked at there nutrittion and subtracted the condiments and figured out what I can eat there. 2 double stacks and water or diet drink, it logs as 770 calories. I makeup for it in other meals. But the key was planning ahead. I have set meals at other places also, so I am not overwhelmed and don't account accurately. Another example, we love going to village in......with a little homework, the 2x2x2 is a very reasonable calorie amount (with poached eggs), not my favorite, but I can live with it, gets me my village in fix
  • stanmann571
    stanmann571 Posts: 5,728 Member
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    Another option, since you mentioned that he wasnt using the "correct entries" is to offer to help him correct the entries, Since a cheeseburger can be 170 to over 800 calories. That should at least help tighten up his logging.

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