Why do I dread meal times?

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  • meetingacrosstheriver
    meetingacrosstheriver Posts: 57 Member
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    kommodevaran wrote: »

    ahoy_m8's story really resonated with me, and I'm sorry to hear that planning and enjoying food preparation wasn't what was missing in your case. But I read this part again about the dietician, and it suddenly hit me - not trying to psycholanalyze you, just tell you a bit more of my story - could your lack of enjoyment and problems with eating enough stem from a combination of bad experiences with health issues with food and bad experiences with a professional? Your medical issues were unavoidable, but the bad professional could have been. It's not just that she didn't help you, or did a lousy job, she betrayed your trust. I hear resentment and bitterness, and you're entitled to your feelings. But maybe your feelings are holding you back a bit?

    I have a perhaps comparable experience with the government(!) through their national dietary guidelines. I have tried to follow them, because I believed they were the best, and extremely important, to avoid disease and weight gain. The problem was that they were completely wrong for me - I need taste, balanced meals, and to make my own eating decisions, and I like meals and meal patterns that resemble normal, traditional setups - strict rules and low fat will make me crash and burn. But the bigger problem was that I never questioned them, and I am in my nature a questioner. I was too scared and too trustful, and I belived the government was something (someone?) I could trust - so I took failure to comply totally on me. After I found MFP, my attitude towards food and my eating habits have changed dramatically, so now I eat well and enjoy food, but I'm haunted by bitterness - all those years of trusting, trying, failing and self-loathing, and accumulating weight gain, were so unnecessary.

    What I'm doing about it? Nothing too constructive, yet. So far I'm just taking it out on newcomers that show what I feel is the same pattern of blind faith in, and holding on for dear life to, plans that are obviously not working, and engross myself in articles about dietary guidelines. What I should be doing? I honestly think I should talk to someone.

    This might not be your issue at all, but I want you to not think that your current problems with eating is "your fault" and that you are wrong, or disordered, or anything like that. You only react to what happens to you, more or less successfully, just like everybody else.

    Hi @kommodevaran,

    Your post has really resonated with me out of all the posts so far.

    After dealing with dieticians, I there is a bit of resentment there, and also a tinge of regret that I dealt with them for so long thinking that by working with them I was doing the right thing in order to reach my healthy weight.

    Over the years, I have seen numerous dieticians and they have changed by diet up and honestly what I'm seeing now as unrealistic expectations as well, and by that I don't just mean in terms of how much weight I should be losing but more in terms of food, it's preparation and eating it, as well as exercising which I do try and fit in as much as I can.

    Looking back, the most success I actually had with weight loss was using MFP on my own, but at the same time reading up on my conditions and learning about them to find what was best for me. Like you, my attitude and eating habits changed drastically, plus I actually enjoyed cooking and being adventurous. That worked, and was even able to maintain without the need for logging until I saw a dietician again.

    Thank you so much for sharing your story, it really has resonated with me and was something that I needed to read! :smiley:
  • petersonma
    petersonma Posts: 30 Member
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    I also found for me, it's harder to enjoy eating when I first started logging, or sometimes in my case start again. The effort of tracking, had at first taken away my enjoyment of food. BUT, over time it gets easier. Tracking becomes mundane habit instead of a tedious chore and foods I frequently eat are quicker to log... Especially home built recipes.

    It sounds like you may have several demotivating items to work through, but simple time may help as well.

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