"Throwing in the towel"?
LelekBolek
Posts: 5 Member
So you know how all those memes go: "I wanted to get fit by this summer, but then I decided to stay fat and be happy" kind of mockery... Here I am, feeling down. For the last 8 years I have been trying to lose weight. I watched my friends shed effortlessly their post-pregnancy weight, while mine hangs on. Years ago, I introduced my husband to running, and despite his health problems (that I have to manage, since they are serious), he is in great shape, benefiting from it. I, on the other hand, can jog and work out to keep my mind feeling good (I LOVE a good workout, as in - as hard as my joints allow), and for feeling great overall, but aside from muscle strength and some definition, it does nothing for weightloss. Yes, I know, it isn't supposed to make you lose weight, as much as benefit overall health.
I don't do crazy diets. I cook for our family, including husband's special dietary needs, and two small kids who - naturally - MUST love completely different foods. But I keep it healthy, lots of veggies, we do not eat junk, and not much fried and such dishes. Alcohol - ok, tried cutting it off completely, went for weeks, still no change. Water is my friend, and I drink plenty of it. But...
My weight keeps hanging on, and slowly increasing. I logged furiously here, and on CC before. But things get frustrating, when achieving nothing. I've lost a few pounds here and there, and while sticking to the good habits that "started" the loss - gained everything and then some. At first I tried to think I am gaining muscle, since indeed I work out hard. Well, can't keep thinking that way...
Just don't know. I don't give up on anything easily. I still want to lose weight, not gain. Mentally, it is not the best state to be, with the frustration and all, and having to keep it all to myself since "other people have their own problems", and in fact rely on me for fixing them. Perhaps I needed to vent a little, and I thank you for listening. Welcoming any suggestions and/or motivation ideas.
5'3", 160 lbs today (about 147 two years ago, less before), 44 years old next week... in 20 or so years + pregnancies, I went from size 2 to size 10. Ideally and considering the workouts I do, wish to be around 133-137. I am very uncomfortable in my current weight.
I don't do crazy diets. I cook for our family, including husband's special dietary needs, and two small kids who - naturally - MUST love completely different foods. But I keep it healthy, lots of veggies, we do not eat junk, and not much fried and such dishes. Alcohol - ok, tried cutting it off completely, went for weeks, still no change. Water is my friend, and I drink plenty of it. But...
My weight keeps hanging on, and slowly increasing. I logged furiously here, and on CC before. But things get frustrating, when achieving nothing. I've lost a few pounds here and there, and while sticking to the good habits that "started" the loss - gained everything and then some. At first I tried to think I am gaining muscle, since indeed I work out hard. Well, can't keep thinking that way...
Just don't know. I don't give up on anything easily. I still want to lose weight, not gain. Mentally, it is not the best state to be, with the frustration and all, and having to keep it all to myself since "other people have their own problems", and in fact rely on me for fixing them. Perhaps I needed to vent a little, and I thank you for listening. Welcoming any suggestions and/or motivation ideas.
5'3", 160 lbs today (about 147 two years ago, less before), 44 years old next week... in 20 or so years + pregnancies, I went from size 2 to size 10. Ideally and considering the workouts I do, wish to be around 133-137. I am very uncomfortable in my current weight.
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Replies
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You don't mention anything about calories ...... weight loss is all about the calories, and specifically eating fewer calories than you're burning.9
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Right, first things first - how are you logging? Are you weighing all solids and using measuring cups/spoons for liquids? Are you checking your entries against the USDA database?
Second. Vent away - it's frustrating and makes you want to quit, I know. The thought that's kept me going through all of it is "the next year is going to go by no matter what" the way I see it I could keep going and next year I'll be in a better place or I could quit and be stuck exactly the same, or worse.
You got this. Brush yourself off. You can sort it out.2 -
You can do this.
Do you lose when logging furiously? If not, you weren't doing it right.
Logging has a pretty long learning curve. First you have to figure out if you've accurately calculated a moderate deficit. At the same time you have to weigh and measure and crunch numbers at home. A pre planned menu helps. And while all this is going on you have to become a good estimator of your intake when you are out of your own kitchen. That's a lot. And the only real test is whether you are losing at the scale. A good test period takes 2 or 3 months.
And you have to stick with it and keep logging even when you have lapses and make mistakes.
It also helps if at the beginning you reflect a bit on how you will cope when feeling discouraged.
The good news is that a well tracked calorie deficit will, over time, will result in a downward trend at the scale. All you have to do is ride the trend, make moderate adjustments if you stall, and of course, allow for the time for it to work.
You are willing to allow for the time aren't you? Read this board much and you'll find that time wrecks a lot of people.
You can do this.
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Have you had bloodtests for thyroid and other imbalances that could cause weight gain?3
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If you have edema, you will look fat, but calorie restriction will not shed any weight. I have both edema and lymphedema. For me, only the ketogenic diet pulls off the water weight.
Do a fat percentage analysis.
http://www.bmi-calculator.net/body-fat-calculator/
I am only 26.6% fat. But I weigh 248. That is about 50 pounds of water weight.
I have a friend, whose friend was morbidly obese (looking) and was always dieting. When she died, there was an autopsy. The doctor wrote in his report that the lady did not have even an ounce of fat; she was water logged, swollen.
Similarly, a man at work had a Lasix iv and lost 70 pounds of water. He had to have skin reduction surgery.
I have gotten 25 pounds of water off with the keto diet. Tried Myofascial release (or MFR) but 4 sessions did not help. This Friday, I am going to try leeches and magnetic therapy.
Bottomline: like me...you might not be fat...just water logged. Everybody in the world wants to tell you how to diet.
Last story: I had a doctor business partner. I went to her home for a week to complete a project with her. Afterward, she told me that she had inventoried all the food in her home and kept track of everything that I ate. Her plan was to show me that I was over-eating and that I could "diet" to lose weight. She was 5 foot tall and weighed 100 pounds. I am 5 foot 10 inches tall. She commented that she could not survive on the small amount of food that I ate. I do not care to prove to anybody that I am not overweight because it will not help my water problem.6 -
Thank you for your kind and well-supported responses. Calories: I have done the "calculations", which included estimates for activity levels, etc. It came up to circa 1400-1450 recommended calories per day. I know through logging, that sometimes I go over that, especially if I end up eating something after kids - I try to eat after they do, since then I can have a smaller portion for me in case they did not finish something. Yes, I check calories and labels, and since I cook a lot for home (also I make and decorate cakes for special events) I am well-familiar with all the measuring equipment and kitchen scales. I have learned not to try my cake&frosting recipes, as most of those I know by heart, and have no need to test. Besides, I DO NOT LIKE sweets! We are a weird family, pretty much everyone, kids included, who do not like sweets. A bowl of un-given Halloween candy can stay out in the open, and no one cares LOL.
I was considering blood tests, but being the only "un-diagnosed" parent, I am reluctant to go to doctors. I know, strange, but it is one of those "as long as I don't know about it - I don't have it" crazy things.
As for logging furiously - yes, I would lose 2. Then gain 3. But I keep trying. I also have a fitbit (or Garmin rather) connected to the logging. The data on it is pretty ridiculous. I often go over or even double the steps goal, and then it sets unrealistic new goals ))) But I like it for some things, like measuring distance I ran, or hike. What I do't like, is when it does "calorie adjustment" in the food log. It makes it confusing and permitting, if you know what I mean. So I try to ignore that feature.
Thank you again for motivating words. I am trying desperately to stick with it, and convince myself that eventually the effort will pay off. Since it is not happening, and has been a frustrating challenge over the years to this point, I am feeling the drag, and the nudge to say "screw it, why even try..."0 -
You were writing the same time that I was writing...I think this person has water weight.
I wrote:
If you have edema, you will look fat, but calorie restriction will not shed any weight. I have both edema and lymphedema. For me, only the ketogenic diet pulls off the water weight.
Do a fat percentage analysis.
http://www.bmi-calculator.net/body-fat-calculator/
I am only 26.6% fat. But I weigh 248. That is about 50 pounds of water weight.
I have a friend, whose friend was morbidly obese (looking) and was always dieting. When she died, there was an autopsy. The doctor wrote in his report that the lady did not have even an ounce of fat; she was water logged, swollen.
Similarly, a man at work had a Lasix iv and lost 70 pounds of water. He had to have skin reduction surgery.
I have gotten 25 pounds of water off with the keto diet. Tried Myofascial release (or MFR) but 4 sessions did not help. This Friday, I am going to try leeches and magnetic therapy.
Bottomline: like me...you might not be fat...just water logged. Everybody in the world wants to tell you how to diet.
Last story: I had a doctor business partner. I went to her home for a week to complete a project with her. Afterward, she told me that she had inventoried all the food in her home and kept track of everything that I ate. Her plan was to show me that I was over-eating and that I could "diet" to lose weight. She was 5 foot tall and weighed 100 pounds. I am 5 foot 10 inches tall. She commented that she could not survive on the small amount of food that I ate. I do not care to prove to anybody that I am not overweight because it will not help my water problem.5 -
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I think you need to lower your calories. I started in January, at 1200 a day, and I'm 5'4---and I've lost 15 lbs...now I'm pretty much maintaining. For me, it really does start in the kitchen. I don't do low-carb, but with 1200 calories, I don't eat a lot of bread, rice or pasta.1
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If your logging accurately there are only two possibilities. One is a physical/medical issue.0
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First, don't be an ostrich, go to the doctor. For your and your family's sake.
After that-
You check calories and label, you are familiar with measuring equipment, kitchen scales.
But, do you actually use that kitchen scale all the time, consistently, day after day, night after night.
Do you take the item out of the package, weight it and compare that with the info on the package and make the
adjustment needed if the calories are over or under what the package says.
Is the info on the package the same as in the database.
You have scales, use the tarring digital style that weighs in grams.
Weigh everything.
If it is a single item look for, or double check, the USDA data base entry.
If you are weighing an item cooked do not use a cooked version, and apply the opposite too.
It takes time to learn good calorie tracking skills, take that time and you will succeed. (Once any medical issues, if you have any, have been diagnosed and are being treated)
Cheers, h.2 -
If your logging accurately there are only two possibilities. One is a physical/medical issue.
Ok, I'll step into this one. What is the second?
On subject of thyroid: has anyone here dealt with it? If that is an issue - what should I expect as far as treatment? Is it surgical procedure, or what is it "fixed" with?
Thank you all for your insights.0 -
Sorry.
Should say "if you're logging accurately and not losing."
Calories set too high.0 -
I think you need to lower your calories. I started in January, at 1200 a day, and I'm 5'4---and I've lost 15 lbs...now I'm pretty much maintaining. For me, it really does start in the kitchen. I don't do low-carb, but with 1200 calories, I don't eat a lot of bread, rice or pasta.
But she's 5'10" not 5'4". I'm 5'6" and I lose on 1450.
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LelekBolek wrote: »5'3", 160 lbs today (about 147 two years ago, less before), 44 years old next week... in 20 or so years + pregnancies, I went from size 2 to size 10. Ideally and considering the workouts I do, wish to be around 133-137. I am very uncomfortable in my current weight.
I'm 5'2 1/2", 62, and eat 1200 calories (average) and maybe half my exercise calories. I can't each much breads or junk food on that, but eat everything I want. I'm losing about 1-2# a month. I've lost 25 pounds twice, and am now very slowly losing to try to master maintenance.
If you weigh your food and log accurately, I wonder at your exercise calories. I don't include any walking calories and don't link my Fitbit to MFP. I input cardio and only eat back all my calories if I'm really hungry. If I'm not losing, I blame the exercise calories, and eat back fewer of them (they are often overestimated on apps). You can lose, but if you aren't, give it a few more months trying to tweak things, and hang out on these boards. It's a lifelong process. At your height, you have very little wiggle room.
And your alternative if you don't have a medical issue, is to bite the bullet and really tighten up your program, or not lose or even gain. That got me on here 4 years ago, and keeps me here. Weight loss only gets harder with aging. I also had to mostly cut out alcohol, except on rare occasions. It wasn't the calories, it was that I ate too much buzzed.
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goldthistime wrote: »I think you need to lower your calories. I started in January, at 1200 a day, and I'm 5'4---and I've lost 15 lbs...now I'm pretty much maintaining. For me, it really does start in the kitchen. I don't do low-carb, but with 1200 calories, I don't eat a lot of bread, rice or pasta.
But she's 5'10" not 5'4". I'm 5'6" and I lose on 1450.
Ugh. I reread and see that she's 5'3", not 5'10". NM.
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middlehaitch wrote: »First, don't be an ostrich, go to the doctor. For your and your family's sake.
After that-
You check calories and label, you are familiar with measuring equipment, kitchen scales.
But, do you actually use that kitchen scale all the time, consistently, day after day, night after night.
Do you take the item out of the package, weight it and compare that with the info on the package and make the
adjustment needed if the calories are over or under what the package says.
Is the info on the package the same as in the database.
You have scales, use the tarring digital style that weighs in grams.
Weigh everything.
If it is a single item look for, or double check, the USDA data base entry.
If you are weighing an item cooked do not use a cooked version, and apply the opposite too.
It takes time to learn good calorie tracking skills, take that time and you will succeed. (Once any medical issues, if you have any, have been diagnosed and are being treated)
Cheers, h.
All this and ... stick with it meticulously and absolutely, with no wavering. None.
When I signed up with MFP, I entered my details into MFP, selected sedentary as my activity level, and chose to lose 0.5 kg/week. MFP gave me 1250 calories. I also entered my exercise and ate half those calories back.
I stuck to that like glue. No going over. Not ever.
For the first 10 days, I lost nothing. I figured I'd give it to 3 weeks, and if I had still lost nothing I would quit. 3 weeks in, I had lost 3 kg.
In the past, I've done the 'I eat fairly well, but sometimes I go over' thing, and I don't lose weight when I do that. In fact, I gained weight while eating really well during the week, and then letting things go on the weekends. For me to lose weight, I need to stick with it 7 days a week without fail.
I'll also add this ... I exercise a lot, and exercising can kind of throw a wrench into things because I gain water weight the day after a big effort. I lose it again 3 days later, but it can be a bit disheartening stepping on the scale on Monday morning to see I've put on 1 kg. This is one of the reasons I weigh every day ... to watch my patterns. Yes, I put on 1 kg on Monday morning ... but by Thursday morning it is gone, and by Saturday morning, I've lost a bit ... and the general trend is down.
Also remember that food and water has weight. I drink quite a bit of water too, but sometimes I find it beneficial to ease back on the water consumption for a few days. Don't get dehydrated ... but keep track of how much you are drinking, and if you're drinking more than 2 litres a day, maybe cut back by 500 ml for 3 or 4 days to see if that helps things at all.1 -
Your family depends on you. Go to the doctor.0
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LelekBolek wrote: »If your logging accurately there are only two possibilities. One is a physical/medical issue.
Ok, I'll step into this one. What is the second?
On subject of thyroid: has anyone here dealt with it? If that is an issue - what should I expect as far as treatment? Is it surgical procedure, or what is it "fixed" with?
Thank you all for your insights.
Treatment depends on your levels, whether you have nodes or not, antibodies etc. I am hypothyroid and take thyroid replacement in the mornings before eating, done.
Hope you can get to the bottom of it, make sure your dr checks all thyroid levels, tsh, t3, t4 and not just the, which is what some doctors want to do and then say you're fine, your t3 or something else can be off and tsh still be normal0 -
I think that 1400 is totally reasonable for loosing weight. I am 5'3 and am doing 1400-1600 (trying to not compensate for exercise unless my deficit is over 800 or so) and I have steadily lost about 40 lbs. I have lost on 1200 before but felt awful. Going to the doctor might be a good idea, and switching up your exercise. My last bit of advice would be to check out "the obesity code". I just finished it and it rocked my world-- if you are already controlling what you eat it may come down more to the timing of eating for you.0
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LelekBolek wrote: »If your logging accurately there are only two possibilities. One is a physical/medical issue.
Ok, I'll step into this one. What is the second?
On subject of thyroid: has anyone here dealt with it? If that is an issue - what should I expect as far as treatment? Is it surgical procedure, or what is it "fixed" with?
Thank you all for your insights.
I have a damaged thyroid. I spent about 30 years of my life tired. I had been tested and told I was normal. In order for the problem to show up and get diagnosed I had to go on a trip where I pushed myself beyond my normal limits. When I got home I saw the doc cause I thought I'd had a mini stroke. Turned out my thyroid was very low. They did an ultrasound and discovered it was full of scar tissue. I was medicated immediately. I lost no weight. I say this not to discourage you but to make people understand a low thyroid may not be the magic answer. I went up to 251 pounds at one point. I am now 147 and trying to lose the last 7 pounds. The answer was careful logging and walking daily. I started very slowly and worked my way up as my stamina increased. By the way I'm 60 years old. I had been obese since I was a very young woman. I was type 2 diabetic, had high blood pressure and stomach issues. I have since said goodbye to all my meds except my synthroid (for low thyroid). It can be done and I feel your pain. Please don't give up and do have your thyroid tested just remember even if it's low it isn't a magic fix. For an underactive thyroid it is usually just a very inexpensive tablet daily. Being medicated may not make you lose weight but it will help you have more energy to move and do what needs to be done to take the weight off. Good luck.2 -
"5'3", 160 lbs today"
I also think the calories are too high, for OP's size.
OP, hang in there. If you aren't losing, check the accuracy of your logging, maybe reduce by 100 calories for a couple weeks until you find the sweet spot. MFP gave me a calorie deficit goal of 1240, and except for age (I am a bit older) my beginning stats are almost identical to yours. I wouldn't lose much, if any, on what you are eating right now.
In the meantime, getting some blood drawn and tests run won't hurt anything, and if there is an underlying condition, better to know sooner rather than later.0 -
As others have said, consistency is truly most important. I liked this visual to help explain how easily we can derail our progress by not staying consistent.
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HealthierRayne wrote: »As others have said, consistency is truly most important. I liked this visual to help explain how easily we can derail our progress by not staying consistent.
To be fair I'm a "work week dieter" as long as you don't go too far over maintenance on a weekend and stick to a weekly deficit it can be done, I usually manage a 2000 calorie deficit a week and I have a half pound a week goal. The main thing is to log, be honest and make sure it fits into your weekly deficit. I would have given up long ago if I was restricting my cals every day I needed something that fit into my lifestyle, do what works for you I say as long as the average is under maintenance all good. x 2
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