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vvvvv45501
vvvvv45501 Posts: 20 Member
in Motivation and Support
Hello!
I have been using MyFitnessPal for a long time, but in really different ways...
back when I was young I was a bit chubby and I've always been self conscious about my body and my weight. One day I understood that, yes I didn't like the way I looked, but I never really did something to change it.
I started dieting... back then I new nothing about calories or nutrition, but the weight came off. I started running and exercising and also started loving it! The weight decreased faster and faster... nothing was good enough! I ended up hospitalized and struggling with anorexia.... this is the short story, otherwise it would take me ages ahaha.
After one and a half year I gained weight back but my mind still struggles with this illness.
I went through a binge/restrictive cycle... actually still going through it even if I'm slowly improving!
As I said I did gain weight but I do look a but slimmer than before due to the fact I've always been exercising since I started this "journey".
I'm 165 cm and 56-58 kg now. I don't say I'm fat or anything similar but I still don't like my body. This is probably due to the fact that my mind is still struggling with anorexia and will probably always be. I would like to go down to 51-52 kg... but stop there this time.
I've been trying to lose weight many times since I gained it back but I'm slowing understanding that I need to listen more to my body and focus on being healthy... the weight will come off with time!
I need to stop thinking about quick fixes! I want a lifestyle! A durable one. Especially now that I'm starting university in September!

1) I want to focus on my nutrition... trying to be in a caloric deficit but still getting all my nutrients and never skipping a meal! I kind of think that my body works better when I get a bit of all the macronutrients at each meal (while before I used to eat them separately), that's why I'm trying to follow what my body is telling me.
This is kind of the most difficult part for me now. I tend to do pretty well for a couple of days, then I get sad and depressed about my body and I try to be super strict and then I end up binging and start all over again! This is seriously damaging my physical and mental health. I need to stop this and I hope I'll be able to find some support here when I feel down and sad. Some support to keep me going.

2) then I would also like to start listening to my body more often. Sleep more, try to rest when I need to instead of pushing myself like I needed some sort of punishment! I would like to start a new hobby to keep my stress level low... since I tent to get extremely stressed.

3) I want to focus then on my fitness routine! I'm already pretty active. I try to go running 4 times a week (9/10 km in 50/60 minutes), do some HIIT body weight exercises 1/2 week or do some steady strength training instead (focusing on my core and legs). I would really love to find a better and more balanced nutrition (as told before) in order to be able to improve my current physique. I would like to look leaner and be stronger, push myself with kindness towards new goals.


I hope I have you all more or less a general idea. This post might be a bit confusing though. I had a lot to say, many things I wanted to express and not a lot of time to write it.

I would love to hear some tips from you all: recipes you tried and liked, workouts or weekly fitness routines you follow, how to relieve stress, how many rest days you have (if you have any?¿)... and many more things!!!
I hope to be able to find a community and some support hear and to be, at the same time, support for others!
Have a nice day :)

Replies

  • vvvvv45501
    vvvvv45501 Posts: 20 Member
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    Please check my food journal for accountability and to share tips.
    The key word to see it is abc12345678
  • DebLaBounty
    DebLaBounty Posts: 1,172 Member
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    Hi! It sounds like your exercise routine is good. I run 3 times a week (about 3 miles), do a BodyPump (weights) class twice a week, and on my rest days I usually take walks or bike rides. What I keep in mind is that the food I eat is fuel for my body, and if I'm feeling more fatigued or exhausted, I make sure to eat some protein (like a protein shake or an ounce of cheese, or some scrambled eggs).

    I am glad you are mindful of your tendency toward anorexic and binging behaviors. Which makes me wonder, though, whether you have consulted a doctor about attempting to lose weight again. Calorie restriction and your relationship with how you're treating your body really needs to be monitored, in my opinion. Do you have the support of a medical professional?

    Best of luck to you!
  • kimothy38
    kimothy38 Posts: 840 Member
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    Awesome self awareness.

    I'm a binge eater from way back and got myself quite overweight and extremely unhappy. Made those around me miserable too. It's such a vicious cycle. I started with the basics like getting enough sleep. I'd punish myself, not intentionally, by being sleep deprived then survive on junk food to get me through the day. Step #1 was to stop being sleep deprived so I could at least make better decisions and cope with stress a bit better.

    I wish you well on your journey.
  • vvvvv45501
    vvvvv45501 Posts: 20 Member
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    kimothy38 wrote: »
    Awesome self awareness.

    I'm a binge eater from way back and got myself quite overweight and extremely unhappy. Made those around me miserable too. It's such a vicious cycle. I started with the basics like getting enough sleep. I'd punish myself, not intentionally, by being sleep deprived then survive on junk food to get me through the day. Step #1 was to stop being sleep deprived so I could at least make better decisions and cope with stress a bit better.

    I wish you well on your journey.
    kimothy38 wrote: »
    Awesome self awareness.

    I'm a binge eater from way back and got myself quite overweight and extremely unhappy. Made those around me miserable too. It's such a vicious cycle. I started with the basics like getting enough sleep. I'd punish myself, not intentionally, by being sleep deprived then survive on junk food to get me through the day. Step #1 was to stop being sleep deprived so I could at least make better decisions and cope with stress a bit better.

    I wish you well on your journey.

    I'm sure we will both succeed and end this cycle!
    I will keep this as a forum where it's possible to just write and release stress or just write to be accountable!
    Come here if you want to :)

  • vvvvv45501
    vvvvv45501 Posts: 20 Member
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    DebLaBounty wrote: »
    Hi! It sounds like your exercise routine is good. I run 3 times a week (about 3 miles), do a BodyPump (weights) class twice a week, and on my rest days I usually take walks or bike rides. What I keep in mind is that the food I eat is fuel for my body, and if I'm feeling more fatigued or exhausted, I make sure to eat some protein (like a protein shake or an ounce of cheese, or some scrambled eggs).

    I am glad you are mindful of your tendency toward anorexic and binging behaviors. Which makes me wonder, though, whether you have consulted a doctor about attempting to lose weight again. Calorie restriction and your relationship with how you're treating your body really needs to be monitored, in my opinion. Do you have the support of a medical professional?

    Best of luck to you!


    Hello! Thank you a lot for your message!
    It's nice to know that you care for my condition.
    As I said before I was hospitalized due to the low weight I reached. Since then I'm followed by a doctor and a psychologist! They gave me a maximum and a minimum weight I can get to! And they are keeping an eye on me :)

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