Finding Love Whilst Losing Weight?
BeautyFromPain
Posts: 4,952 Member
I read somewhere not to find a (boyfriend/girlfriend) whilst losing weight or for at least a year afterwards. Personally, I put on 10 kilos with my first relationship. Whilst I am also trying to gain a healthy selfesteem... What does everyone think? ?
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Replies
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I started dating my boyfriend 2 months ago, and I've continued losing weight. I just account for the dinners out and the ice cream dates through exercise and discipline otherwise.0
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I'm not saying it is not possible and we necessarily always put on weight but someone said just to focus on yourself whilst losing weight or something ...0
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Your 19, don't worry about it. Go get a boyfriend and go have fun.0
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cool can i use that excuse to why im single & no hope of anything on the cards :grumble: :grumble:0
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Your 19, don't worry about it. Go get a boyfriend and go have fun.
I agree just go out and enjoy life!0 -
I started losing weight after dropping a girlfriend who was actually unsupported of my gym/eating habits in the beginning of the summer. Needless to say I lost 10 lbs while I was with her, and now I've lost a total of almost 30. It's my motivations! One day she'll look back and be like...damnit...haha0
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I think it's probably a good idea. I know in the past every time I have started doing well then start dating someone, all my work goes out the window and I quit paying attention to ME. BUT, if you meet someone you meet someone, no reason to pass the chance up if they're worth dating. Somehow saying "Sorry, I can't date you because I'm losing weight then I have to wait a year after, so call me in 2013." just doesn't seem realistic. I would say if you WANT to date while losing weight, do it, just try to remember to stay focused on your goals.0
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I've dated throughout my entire weight loss and weight gain life. It's just part of who I am - and I change sizes! A lot!!
And I finally fell in love with "the one" almost 6 years ago. I was on FIRE with my weight loss at that time, and was about 20 lbs lighter. I've gained and lost that same 20, and hope to lose some more. He doesn't necessarily understand my "food crazy", but he supports me and staying healthy.
I say GO FOR IT!0 -
I think if you meet someone while losing weight that yes it may be hard to stay focused but also you know that they are into you for you and now what you look like. If they are really into you then they will support your choice and do what they can to help you stay on track. Just my opinion but if they arent going to support you then they arent worth your time anyway.0
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When I met Caleb I was about 265... went up to about 275 by the wedding. Last year I ballooned up to 310 and now three years into marriage and later after a bit of weight loss I'm back at 293 but I am also preggers right now
So yeah relationships can cause happy weight gain if you're not thinking bout it. 0 -
Go for it. Everybody needs love. I think it may be easier to find someone now that you are on your journey rather than before because this is all he will know if you. He won't know the "old" you.0
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I was a about 20 lbs lighter when my husband and I first started dating....and so was he. However, we both think it was due to overeating at home, consuming too much of the delicious healthy foods I cooked and not doing enough activity. We didn't put the weight on during the dating/dining out phase of our relationship.
We have accomplished quite a lot as a team since we have been together --financially, career wise, and more. We also quit smoking and are getting healthier together.
If you find someone who shares your goals as far as being healthy it will help, not hinder, your journey. That being said, it doesn't have to be a romantic interested...even a couple of new workout buddies would be a good addition
And before I get off the soap box...at 19 you are a young adult, but there will most likely be a few great loves in your life....don't settle down to soon, and focus on experiencing things, traveling, learning, AND developing healthier habits while you are young. Love will find you when you are ready for it 0 -
I think if you meet someone while losing weight that yes it may be hard to stay focused but also you know that they are into you for you and now what you look like. If they are really into you then they will support your choice and do what they can to help you stay on track. Just my opinion but if they arent going to support you then they arent worth your time anyway.
This is so true! My wedding photos are what prompted me to get back on the health bandwagon....I feel good knowing that even at my biggest my husband loves me more than anything else, and that he is so supportive and a part of the process of getting into shape.
Kudos for only gaining 30 with the pregnancy, too! That is quite an accomplishment!0 -
Maybe they are just looking at statistics. When I met my hubby I was 40 lbs lighter than I am now. And that was nearly 2 1/2 years ago. Granted, I feel I am much better off now than I was then.
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If you want to date someone - do it. Losing weight and "dieting" is learning how to incorporate all aspects of your life into a healthy balance.
If you are really selfish with your time and energy now - while losing weight will you know how to automatically find the healthy balance with maintainance and dating later?0 -
I almost think it would be good to find someone while losing weight in some ways. That way you are finding someone who knows you are eating healthy and is supportive of that. I've seen a few posts on here about a significant other not being supportive or bringing junk food into the house and it being harder for the person on the diet. If they know you are doing it from the start they may be more supportive, who knows? Just my opinion...0
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I'm convinced my husband has made me fat! He's obsessed with food (and naturally skinny). He asks me what's for dinner tomorrow while eating dinner today! So, I agree.0
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If that were the case, some of us would never date/be single for life... Just like with everything else, the key is BALANCE.0
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cool can i use that excuse to why im single & no hope of anything on the cards :grumble: :grumble:
Don't give up You are beautiful, and you will find the perfect person for you! It may even be when you aren't expecting it!
I met my love online of all places....I signed up on a dating site for shi*s and giggles when I first moved south...mostly my girlfriends and I would sit around and laugh about the creepers who messaged me...then I looked for some friends to go to concerts and stuff with on the site. I had no intention of seriously dating anyone, and when I first met my hubby I told him I NEVER wanted to be married again. Well....I guess he changed my opinion there!
Keep doing what ever it is that you enjoy and makes you happy...your turn is coming!0 -
I'm not saying it is not possible and we necessarily always put on weight but someone said just to focus on yourself whilst losing weight or something ...
Well if you know it is possible then... that is your answer. I think it depends on you as a person. Are you Independent or do you wrap yourself up in whomever you are dating? If things are going good, bad or ugly would you still stay on track? There are things in life that can derail you but, a boyfriend or gf never should. What the person meant( I am guessing) is if you cant operate on that level of independence, then focus on you and only you until you can. If you loose yourself in others then you need to not date until your goals are met. You would also ( if you met your goals) have to adjust to the new attention you might get hence teh year or so of waiting. If you were at you goal would you jump after the first guy that said you were hot if you didn't know much about him? If he was a jerk? I think it is more about finding yourself and standing on your own two feet , doing what is ALWAYS right for you rather than dealing with weightloss in general.At 19 that is important but, does not mean you cant date just that you should be more aware of you, what you need, want...know that if you brake up with a guy you still need to take care of yourself. I know when I was dating and younger I could not do that. It took me till I was 21 to be able to know what standing on my own two feet really meant ( relationship wise) and I think that is helping me with my journey now.0 -
Yeah this ^, there'll be plenty of other **** to get bent and worried over later on in life.Your 19, don't worry about it. Go get a boyfriend and go have fun.0 -
As to the post about being selfish with my time and energy, in my whole life I have never spent time on myself before now.
You may be thinking this is untrue, but no I am always there for others no matter what, and am usually found helping out a friend or family member with a problem. Either doing that or working 45 hours a week.
I have had very severe depression and anxiety in the past, right before I started this journey of health and fitness but right now as I am trying to find a new body I am also trying to find a new sense of self worth and happiness, as I have never thought of myself as worthy of anything and have found a glimmer of happiness for the first time in 7 years.
If you want to, call me selfish. But don't we all deserve some time to ourselves. Don't we all deserve to want to be happy, and have some hope for our life.
But in saying this, I still see my best friends at least 5 times a week whilst working full time and exercising and eating healthily so I do not see how I am selfish as you may so think I am.0 -
cool can i use that excuse to why im single & no hope of anything on the cards :grumble: :grumble:
Don't give up You are beautiful, and you will find the perfect person for you! It may even be when you aren't expecting it!
I met my love online of all places....I signed up on a dating site for shi*s and giggles when I first moved south...mostly my girlfriends and I would sit around and laugh about the creepers who messaged me...then I looked for some friends to go to concerts and stuff with on the site. I had no intention of seriously dating anyone, and when I first met my hubby I told him I NEVER wanted to be married again. Well....I guess he changed my opinion there!
Keep doing what ever it is that you enjoy and makes you happy...your turn is coming!
aahh thats a sweet story ,,& thanks im ok though im not sat here desperate for it :sad: ,,not sure i have the energy to start something all over again ,had it for 19 years & the thought of all that again :sick: & to have it all go wrong again ,no no no ,,not so sure on that ,so not hunting the next one down in a hurry & anyone i do meet that makes my eyes twinkle tend to back off when i get the tummy feelings ,,the old saying sticks once bitten ,twice shy .
to the lovely lady that first posted this though ,,jeez your 19 ,,dont hold off ,,your younger years soon fly ,,so make them count & have some fun my dear ,despite what a cold person i am now ,it was pretty damn good ,would love to go back ,so live it & be free ,you cant ever go back to 19 when its gone ,,knock em dead tiger & stop worrying about the silly things in life ,happiness & companionship is what its all about xx0 -
As to the post about being selfish with my time and energy, in my whole life I have never spent time on myself before now.
You may be thinking this is untrue, but no I am always there for others no matter what, and am usually found helping out a friend or family member with a problem. Either doing that or working 45 hours a week.
I have had very severe depression and anxiety in the past, right before I started this journey of health and fitness but right now as I am trying to find a new body I am also trying to find a new sense of self worth and happiness, as I have never thought of myself as worthy of anything and have found a glimmer of happiness for the first time in 7 years.
If you want to, call me selfish. But don't we all deserve some time to ourselves. Don't we all deserve to want to be happy, and have some hope for our life.
But in saying this, I still see my best friends at least 5 times a week whilst working full time and exercising and eating healthily so I do not see how I am selfish as you may so think I am.
The only post I read that used the word selfish was only saying as people who are dedicate to fitness, we have to be " selfish" with our time. As in, if you focus mainly on working out and dieting and do not balance that out with time for fun thins like dating, going out, partying etc in general how will you be able to balance the two when you reach your goals? Please do not feel like anyone here is calling you selfish because that is not the case.
and not to be harsh but, if the only thing you got out of these responses is you thought someone called you selfish then maybe you should not date, just spend time with you and focus on being happy with or without someone.0 -
that is not all that i got from them but was about to reply to the others actually??0
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If you meet someone, date them. If you are worried about not staying focused on your goals, then suggests dates that are active, and maybe don't focus on food. Opt for a day of hiking or bicycling or something like that, in lieu of dinner and a movie? That's my advice - if opportunity knocks, then go for it, but dates don't have to center around food.0
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ABOUT BEING "SELFISH"
OH NO, no no no no.... I was saying that in a positive way. I think you (I/we) have to be selfish with exercise and dieting. We've only got one body and one life. I was just trying to say that if you were only successful in weightloss because you had time to dedicate only to yourself and you are in the habit of doing this ALONE and weight til you are done... then you could be in for a shock when you get all consumed in L-O-V-E..
That happened to me when I first met DH. I was so focused on dieting and weightloss and was 2 pounds away from my goal. Then I met him. Of course my thoughts and time shifted from me to him... cause he was cute and sweet and... blah blah blah vomit mushy stuff. I was also a little concerened how he would feel about the fact that I used to be heavier. (stupid, I know). And all of that kinda got to me. I ended up gaining some weight back (about 3 pounds), but I never reached my goal because I didn 't know how to find that balance. I think if I would have started dating him earlier in my weightloss it would have been less overwhelming in a sense.0 -
Your 19, don't worry about it. Go get a boyfriend and go have fun.
I agree just go out and enjoy life!
I thirdly recommend this. Been with my husband since I've been 17, will be 29 later this year. I regret not dating and just being a carefree young adult. One day you'll have a house full of screaming kids, and be pissed off you have to cut the grass on your day off.0 -
Your 19, don't worry about it. Go get a boyfriend and go have fun.
*snort* that's funny ;-)0 -
I really think dating has no relevance when it comes to dieting. However, it does have relevance when it comes to self esteem. If you're not happy with yourself work on that first.... don't expect a partner to bring happiness to the table, count on yourself for that ;-)0
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