Feeling angry with myself
claire47
Posts: 39 Member
Hi. I'm feeling so angry with myself. 4 years ago I got down to 9st 3lb. And I've fluctuated alot but for years stayed between 9 and a half to 10 stone. Since November I have put on 14lb and now sit at 10st 8lb. I'm 5'3 and 30. I've allowed this to happen and I'm so upset with myself but scared I won't find the motivation to get back to being healthy. My clothes are tight and I have back fat now and I just want to feel better but comfort eating just keeps getting the better of me. Any advice, Help, support, or MFP friends would be appreciated! Claire x
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Replies
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Just control your calorie intake today. Repeat as often as you can.
Don't beat yourself up. If self-loathing caused weight loss, wealth, genius, etc., we'd all be too rich, too thin, and have found the cure for all cancers. As various folks on MFP have said, "Being heavy is HARD. Losing weight is HARD. Choose your HARD."11 -
Use the anger to fuel your determination to do something about it. Turning the anger on yourself really serves no purpose at all beyond making you feel more defeated and hopeless. You have two choices at this point.
1) Continue being angry and end up gaining more weight and becoming more depressed.
2) give yourself a good talking to. Accept that you are human and that humans will always make mistakes. Forgive yourself and put a plan in action to rectify the situation in a way that is long term and sustainable.5 -
From the sound of it (it seems your mixing metric and US for weights) it doesn't seem like you gained much so you have that. Second just tackle it one meal at a time and celebrate each good meal and moderate your "bad" foods.0
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2011rocket3touring wrote: »From the sound of it (it seems your mixing metric and US for weights) it doesn't seem like you gained much so you have that. Second just tackle it one meal at a time and celebrate each good meal and moderate your "bad" foods.
Nope Stone and Pounds is a UK imperial measurement not a mixture of metric and US.3 -
Draw a line under what you've done in the past, you can't change that.
You're just outside the healthy weight range for your height, set yourself to 0.5lb loss per week (this is a 250 calorie deficit per day) and log your food accurately using a food scale as you have less margin for error than for someone with a lot to lose.
Be conservative with eating your exercise calories back if you're working out as they may be overestimated depending on the method you're using to get the figures start with eating around 50% and monitoring over a 4 week period.3 -
Thank you everyone. Feeling a lot more positive and starting to go in the right direction. Cx4
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Awwww! Never criticize yourself.
sending a friend request 1 -
I was almost 10 pounds heavier than you and 3 inches shorter. So if you're angry with yourself, I guess I should be furious at myself.
Really though, there's no sense in beating yourself up. Just be super accurate with your logging (the message boards here are a great resource if you're having trouble with that) and you can turn it around. (And for whatever it's worth, MFP helped me lose over 50 pounds, so if I can do it, you can too. Good luck!)1 -
Try not to go down the guilt and self-anger route. It will make it harder to lose weight, not easier. Start where you are at and just get going. You can do this.0
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Hi. I'm feeling so angry with myself. 4 years ago I got down to 9st 3lb. And I've fluctuated alot but for years stayed between 9 and a half to 10 stone. Since November I have put on 14lb and now sit at 10st 8lb. I'm 5'3 and 30. I've allowed this to happen and I'm so upset with myself but scared I won't find the motivation to get back to being healthy. My clothes are tight and I have back fat now and I just want to feel better but comfort eating just keeps getting the better of me. Any advice, Help, support, or MFP friends would be appreciated! Claire x
anger at yourself is fairly pointless..
focus on what you're going to do to make changes...
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I'm currently in exactly the same boat as you - got down to my goal weight a few years back, and since then it's just been creeping slowly back on.
For me it's a mindset issue. Recently I've just not been strong willed enough to get back to where I want to be, but I'm taking every day as it comes and focusing on eating well and exercising for that day. Once you have enough good days it'll become habit again and you'll soon be back to where you need to be.
You've done it once, you can do it again! 2 -
I'm in the same boat too. 3 years ago I was at goal weight (9st 12 at 5'6") and I more or less maintained for a year (went back up to 10st 3 but still looked and felt good). Then I got a new job which involved a crazy commute and no time to exercise and it slowly went back on.
I've now switched jobs and since December I've been exercising lots and eating healthy, portion controlled meals but haven't lost any weight (or size, yes I know that muscle weighs more than fat). I know why, it's because of my snacking habit. I've been tracking for a while now and it's so clear, I eat healthily and exercise a lot but undo it all by binging on junk (to an average of 1000 cals a day of snacks-eek!!). And now I'm 11st 10 so have one and a half stones to lose!!
On the plus side I'm the fittest and strongest I've ever been but I'm overweight and need to lose these pounds for appearances sake.
I know it's a mindset thing but the comfort/emotional eating just keeps getting the better of me. Glad to see I'm not alone. Maybe we can support each other through this?0 -
BeachFreak2016 wrote: »I'm in the same boat too. 3 years ago I was at goal weight (9st 12 at 5'6") and I more or less maintained for a year (went back up to 10st 3 but still looked and felt good). Then I got a new job which involved a crazy commute and no time to exercise and it slowly went back on.
I've now switched jobs and since December I've been exercising lots and eating healthy, portion controlled meals but haven't lost any weight (or size, yes I know that muscle weighs more than fat). I know why, it's because of my snacking habit. I've been tracking for a while now and it's so clear, I eat healthily and exercise a lot but undo it all by binging on junk (to an average of 1000 cals a day of snacks-eek!!). And now I'm 11st 10 so have one and a half stones to lose!!
On the plus side I'm the fittest and strongest I've ever been but I'm overweight and need to lose these pounds for appearances sake.
I know it's a mindset thing but the comfort/emotional eating just keeps getting the better of me. Glad to see I'm not alone. Maybe we can support each other through this?
TBH i am in a similar situation in that in May 15 i was at my happy weight (9st 5 at 5ft5) , which i managed to maintain till the end of the year and then life happened and i put half a stone back on in the first 6 months of 2016. Now, a year later i am still at that higher weight, (minus a pound or 2) partially because i am training for my second half marathon of the year and i am realising that i can't lose weight - because i cant maintain enough of a deficit - while i am training for a half.
losing the vanity pounds is hard, and slow, but consistency is key.0 -
BeachFreak2016 wrote: »I'm in the same boat too. 3 years ago I was at goal weight (9st 12 at 5'6") and I more or less maintained for a year (went back up to 10st 3 but still looked and felt good). Then I got a new job which involved a crazy commute and no time to exercise and it slowly went back on.
I've now switched jobs and since December I've been exercising lots and eating healthy, portion controlled meals but haven't lost any weight (or size, yes I know that muscle weighs more than fat). I know why, it's because of my snacking habit. I've been tracking for a while now and it's so clear, I eat healthily and exercise a lot but undo it all by binging on junk (to an average of 1000 cals a day of snacks-eek!!). And now I'm 11st 10 so have one and a half stones to lose!!
On the plus side I'm the fittest and strongest I've ever been but I'm overweight and need to lose these pounds for appearances sake.
I know it's a mindset thing but the comfort/emotional eating just keeps getting the better of me. Glad to see I'm not alone. Maybe we can support each other through this?
That would be great if we can support each other. Thank you. Cx1 -
Well you're not upset enough to change it. When you do, then you do the things necessary to change it. And then commit to it till you reach your goal.Hi. I'm feeling so angry with myself. 4 years ago I got down to 9st 3lb. And I've fluctuated alot but for years stayed between 9 and a half to 10 stone. Since November I have put on 14lb and now sit at 10st 8lb. I'm 5'3 and 30. I've allowed this to happen and I'm so upset with myself but scared I won't find the motivation to get back to being healthy. My clothes are tight and I have back fat now and I just want to feel better but comfort eating just keeps getting the better of me. Any advice, Help, support, or MFP friends would be appreciated! Claire x
People can easily "desire" anything. Going out and doing what it takes for that desire is a totally different thing.
A.C.E. Certified Personal and Group Fitness Trainer
IDEA Fitness member
Kickboxing Certified Instructor
Been in fitness for 30 years and have studied kinesiology and nutrition
2 -
Well you're not upset enough to change it. When you do, then you do the things necessary to change it. And then commit to it till you reach your goal.Hi. I'm feeling so angry with myself. 4 years ago I got down to 9st 3lb. And I've fluctuated alot but for years stayed between 9 and a half to 10 stone. Since November I have put on 14lb and now sit at 10st 8lb. I'm 5'3 and 30. I've allowed this to happen and I'm so upset with myself but scared I won't find the motivation to get back to being healthy. My clothes are tight and I have back fat now and I just want to feel better but comfort eating just keeps getting the better of me. Any advice, Help, support, or MFP friends would be appreciated! Claire x
People can easily "desire" anything. Going out and doing what it takes for that desire is a totally different thing.
A.C.E. Certified Personal and Group Fitness Trainer
IDEA Fitness member
Kickboxing Certified Instructor
Been in fitness for 30 years and have studied kinesiology and nutrition
And she's taking the first step by coming here onto MFP and asking for support.1 -
And asked for "advice" which I gave. Support doesn't always mean having to be "oh, you can do this" of "you got this". It can come in the form of giving constructive solid advice. It's not like I don't do this for living or anything.MommaGem2017 wrote: »
Well you're not upset enough to change it. When you do, then you do the things necessary to change it. And then commit to it till you reach your goal.Hi. I'm feeling so angry with myself. 4 years ago I got down to 9st 3lb. And I've fluctuated alot but for years stayed between 9 and a half to 10 stone. Since November I have put on 14lb and now sit at 10st 8lb. I'm 5'3 and 30. I've allowed this to happen and I'm so upset with myself but scared I won't find the motivation to get back to being healthy. My clothes are tight and I have back fat now and I just want to feel better but comfort eating just keeps getting the better of me. Any advice, Help, support, or MFP friends would be appreciated! Claire x
People can easily "desire" anything. Going out and doing what it takes for that desire is a totally different thing.
A.C.E. Certified Personal and Group Fitness Trainer
IDEA Fitness member
Kickboxing Certified Instructor
Been in fitness for 30 years and have studied kinesiology and nutrition
And she's taking the first step by coming here onto MFP and asking for support.
A.C.E. Certified Personal and Group Fitness Trainer
IDEA Fitness member
Kickboxing Certified Instructor
Been in fitness for 30 years and have studied kinesiology and nutrition
6 -
Claire, sometimes I also get mad at myself when I eat too much. I view losing weight as an ongoing negotiation between my body and my mind. There will be ups and downs as the two parties go at it, but my mind will always have a better bargaining position because it gets the final say.2
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And asked for "advice" which I gave. Support doesn't always mean having to be "oh, you can do this" of "you got this". It can come in the form of giving constructive solid advice. It's not like I don't do this for living or anything.MommaGem2017 wrote: »
Well you're not upset enough to change it. When you do, then you do the things necessary to change it. And then commit to it till you reach your goal.Hi. I'm feeling so angry with myself. 4 years ago I got down to 9st 3lb. And I've fluctuated alot but for years stayed between 9 and a half to 10 stone. Since November I have put on 14lb and now sit at 10st 8lb. I'm 5'3 and 30. I've allowed this to happen and I'm so upset with myself but scared I won't find the motivation to get back to being healthy. My clothes are tight and I have back fat now and I just want to feel better but comfort eating just keeps getting the better of me. Any advice, Help, support, or MFP friends would be appreciated! Claire x
People can easily "desire" anything. Going out and doing what it takes for that desire is a totally different thing.
A.C.E. Certified Personal and Group Fitness Trainer
IDEA Fitness member
Kickboxing Certified Instructor
Been in fitness for 30 years and have studied kinesiology and nutrition
And she's taking the first step by coming here onto MFP and asking for support.
A.C.E. Certified Personal and Group Fitness Trainer
IDEA Fitness member
Kickboxing Certified Instructor
Been in fitness for 30 years and have studied kinesiology and nutrition
I appreciate your advice. It's true, it has to click in your head that you have the drive to achieve it. I guess it's taken me a little bit for the anger to make me do something about it. I'm on the right path for now I just hope I can stick to it. Cx0 -
Have a plan, make sure it's reasonable and be consistent. I have my clients be SPECIFIC with their plans. If you're not sure, here's what I give them.
And asked for "advice" which I gave. Support doesn't always mean having to be "oh, you can do this" of "you got this". It can come in the form of giving constructive solid advice. It's not like I don't do this for living or anything.MommaGem2017 wrote: »
Well you're not upset enough to change it. When you do, then you do the things necessary to change it. And then commit to it till you reach your goal.Hi. I'm feeling so angry with myself. 4 years ago I got down to 9st 3lb. And I've fluctuated alot but for years stayed between 9 and a half to 10 stone. Since November I have put on 14lb and now sit at 10st 8lb. I'm 5'3 and 30. I've allowed this to happen and I'm so upset with myself but scared I won't find the motivation to get back to being healthy. My clothes are tight and I have back fat now and I just want to feel better but comfort eating just keeps getting the better of me. Any advice, Help, support, or MFP friends would be appreciated! Claire x
People can easily "desire" anything. Going out and doing what it takes for that desire is a totally different thing.
A.C.E. Certified Personal and Group Fitness Trainer
IDEA Fitness member
Kickboxing Certified Instructor
Been in fitness for 30 years and have studied kinesiology and nutrition
And she's taking the first step by coming here onto MFP and asking for support.
A.C.E. Certified Personal and Group Fitness Trainer
IDEA Fitness member
Kickboxing Certified Instructor
Been in fitness for 30 years and have studied kinesiology and nutrition
I appreciate your advice. It's true, it has to click in your head that you have the drive to achieve it. I guess it's taken me a little bit for the anger to make me do something about it. I'm on the right path for now I just hope I can stick to it. Cx
1. Write it down and keep records (daily if possible)
Goal
Milestones
Daily schedule
Month to month schedule
Research to go to if you need help
2. Be specific in your planning
Know how you're going to achieve your goal
Set achievable way to do it
Implement plan consistently
3. Set measurable milestones
It may be weight loss per week (though it's not linear), it may be how much weight you can lift,
how far you want to run by then, what your clothing size is, etc. Don't get overzealous though.
4. Schedule how your day goes
If exercise is going to be part of it, MAKE A SPECIFIC TIME for it. Same with sleep, work, and
time with family or hobbies.
5. Put timelines on everything.
Don't lollygag on something like watching TV too long. It's easy to get lazy if one spends too much
time on not doing something conducive towards their goal.
6. Celebrate your successes
Small ones matter and help create confidence on other harder goals.
7. Know that there will be obstacles and deterrences and have a back up plan
Things aren't always in your control, so have options available in case this does happen. My kid
hasn't stayed home sick for a long time (almost 5 years now), but I do have a plan set aside if she
does. Same with party invitationals and eating out.
8. Don't stop till you make it!
If you follow your plan consistently, you should reach your goal. Even if you don't meet it at the
proposed timeline, DON'T STOP till you do!
A.C.E. Certified Personal and Group Fitness Trainer
IDEA Fitness member
Kickboxing Certified Instructor
Been in fitness for 30 years and have studied kinesiology and nutrition
4 -
Have a plan, make sure it's reasonable and be consistent. I have my clients be SPECIFIC with their plans. If you're not sure, here's what I give them.
And asked for "advice" which I gave. Support doesn't always mean having to be "oh, you can do this" of "you got this". It can come in the form of giving constructive solid advice. It's not like I don't do this for living or anything.MommaGem2017 wrote: »
Well you're not upset enough to change it. When you do, then you do the things necessary to change it. And then commit to it till you reach your goal.Hi. I'm feeling so angry with myself. 4 years ago I got down to 9st 3lb. And I've fluctuated alot but for years stayed between 9 and a half to 10 stone. Since November I have put on 14lb and now sit at 10st 8lb. I'm 5'3 and 30. I've allowed this to happen and I'm so upset with myself but scared I won't find the motivation to get back to being healthy. My clothes are tight and I have back fat now and I just want to feel better but comfort eating just keeps getting the better of me. Any advice, Help, support, or MFP friends would be appreciated! Claire x
People can easily "desire" anything. Going out and doing what it takes for that desire is a totally different thing.
A.C.E. Certified Personal and Group Fitness Trainer
IDEA Fitness member
Kickboxing Certified Instructor
Been in fitness for 30 years and have studied kinesiology and nutrition
And she's taking the first step by coming here onto MFP and asking for support.
A.C.E. Certified Personal and Group Fitness Trainer
IDEA Fitness member
Kickboxing Certified Instructor
Been in fitness for 30 years and have studied kinesiology and nutrition
I appreciate your advice. It's true, it has to click in your head that you have the drive to achieve it. I guess it's taken me a little bit for the anger to make me do something about it. I'm on the right path for now I just hope I can stick to it. Cx
1. Write it down and keep records (daily if possible)
Goal
Milestones
Daily schedule
Month to month schedule
Research to go to if you need help
2. Be specific in your planning
Know how you're going to achieve your goal
Set achievable way to do it
Implement plan consistently
3. Set measurable milestones
It may be weight loss per week (though it's not linear), it may be how much weight you can lift,
how far you want to run by then, what your clothing size is, etc. Don't get overzealous though.
4. Schedule how your day goes
If exercise is going to be part of it, MAKE A SPECIFIC TIME for it. Same with sleep, work, and
time with family or hobbies.
5. Put timelines on everything.
Don't lollygag on something like watching TV too long. It's easy to get lazy if one spends too much
time on not doing something conducive towards their goal.
6. Celebrate your successes
Small ones matter and help create confidence on other harder goals.
7. Know that there will be obstacles and deterrences and have a back up plan
Things aren't always in your control, so have options available in case this does happen. My kid
hasn't stayed home sick for a long time (almost 5 years now), but I do have a plan set aside if she
does. Same with party invitationals and eating out.
8. Don't stop till you make it!
If you follow your plan consistently, you should reach your goal. Even if you don't meet it at the
proposed timeline, DON'T STOP till you do!
A.C.E. Certified Personal and Group Fitness Trainer
IDEA Fitness member
Kickboxing Certified Instructor
Been in fitness for 30 years and have studied kinesiology and nutrition
Thank you so much for all your help. I really appreciate it! Cx0
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