Scared

threecheers20
threecheers20 Posts: 62 Member
edited November 20 in Motivation and Support
I have always been on the sturdy side. I've always felt that I was fat. Even in my younger years when I really wasn't fat, I just wasn't skinny. I started worrying about my weight in junior high school many many moons ago. And never stopped. Not sure if it's different for some women as I got married, had children, dealt with pregnancy weight and losing it and gaining again etc. Then of course the toddler years and picky kid stages where I would finish their pizza crusts and their half eaten lunches because in the back of my mind, money doesn't grow on trees don't waste it....or truth be told...just shove it in my mouth mindlessly as I'm cleaning up pudding smeared on the walls. Then a golden period.....I was running and eating healthy, taking time for myself. I got to "sturdy" again as opposed to fat. I was on my way to feeling fit. SURPRISE!!! More pregnancy weight. More baby toddler picky kid mindless eating stages. Back to fat. Fast forward a couple of years and I started lifting...taking more time for myself and lo and behold...back to sturdy! I was Getting there. Getting healthier and getting a little more fit. But with children and expenses....I needed to get back to work. So I got a part time job, but I'm going to need a better job that pays more....so while I was working I also went back to school. Quite an adjustment. So with all the kid stuff, work stuff and school stuff...back to fat. So here is the point I'm trying to make: I am scared that I am forever going to be getting back to fat. How do you deal with life and stress? How can I change myself and my habits so I'm not dealing with life in a way that I'm always making myself fat? Will I EVER just be able to get to sturdy and maintain? Will I ever get to fit? If I do get there will I just fail again? Am I the only one who feels scared sometimes?

Replies

  • 88olds
    88olds Posts: 4,534 Member
    I got so scared that I lost from 285 lbs to about 215. Then I got scared again and lost to about 180 and have maintained here for years.

    But being fat wasn't exactly what scared me. I was either going to just drop dead, leaving 2 little kids with no dad. Or have a stroke, potentially worse. I've read numerous posts over the years about fear not being a motivator, it sure worked for me.

    The way to lose weight isn't a secret. Calculate a modest calorie deficit and keep a food diary. If you eat it, log it. The good, bad and ugly, no matter what. Find some kind of activity. Try walking. Look on YouTube for some short workouts you can do at home. Take hold of the process. Be proactive, it's the only way to get control.

    No one can say if things will ever work out for you. But it's pretty clear it will never happen until you take some positive steps. Good luck. It can be done.


    A random hint- weight loss is easier if you are willing to throw away food that doesn't help you.
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  • StarvingDiva
    StarvingDiva Posts: 1,107 Member
    kjt363 wrote: »
    The common denominator here time and time again? You keep putting yourself LAST. You make 'you' a priority in fits and spurts, and when you reach your goals, everything and everyone else become the priority. Ask yourself how you can make yourself priority all the time. Not in a selfish way, but in a way that not only helps you, but helps everyone because you ARE in a better place. I always think of what the airline attendants say upon take off '.....if you are traveling with small children and the oxygen masks deploy, place yours over your nose and mouth first so you are able to assist others'...its a great example of WHY you need to take care of yourself first. So tell me one small way you KNOW you can change your behavior to make yourself the priority?

    What she said. Heck I am a single person with no kids etc. but I still put myself last over family and friends and other peoples needs.
  • GlassAngyl
    GlassAngyl Posts: 478 Member
    edited August 2017
    The hardest thing to break is a habit or belief instilled in you from childhood. Throw the left overs outside for the birds and other wildlife.. unless you are in a city.. then trash it. You eating it didn't save a starving child somewhere. I feel less guilty knowing left overs went to other creatures that wouldn't let it go to waste but sometimes location plays a role in how you deal with it.

    I could also B**** slap every family member and teacher that called me fat and told me I needed to lose weight as a child. I look back at my childhood pics and think, "if only I was THAT fat again, id never complain about weight issues.." Like you I struggled to slim down starting in Junior high. Most people who have the WORST weight issues later in life are those who were made to fear food and grew up with an unhealthy view of it and see it as the enemy.

    I'm glad I homeschooled my kids. My daughter doesn't go through this like I did at her age. She gets a little chunky, she exercises, she slims down. None of this trying to starve or diet herself to perfection. She believes she is perfect and thinks she is a power house cause all she has to do is sit ups for a week or two and her weight magically melts off. She is 128lbs.. her "chunky" is 132.. When I was 132 I was called fat. So I believed it. Now I AM fat..
  • feathernaut
    feathernaut Posts: 66 Member
    GlassAngyl wrote: »
    The hardest thing to break is a habit or belief instilled in you from childhood. Throw the left overs outside for the birds and other wildlife.. unless you are in a city.. then trash it. You eating it didn't save a starving child somewhere.

    It took me SO. LONG. to get this through my head. I was raised to be grateful I had food because x-country was starving. I am grateful!
    ...but I'm also done eating.

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  • kjt363
    kjt363 Posts: 7 Member
    You need to form NEW habits. You need to COMMIT to those new habits. The latest research shows it takes 66 days for a new habit to take hold. Commit to 66 days. In addition to that, you need to find an accountability group, on this MFP site or thru beachbody.com, sparkpeople.com, livestrong.com, etc.... Checking in with others doing the same thing you are will help keep you honest, motivated, and on track. Or find a local friend to partner with, someone you can connect with, exercise with, check in with.
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  • fiddletime
    fiddletime Posts: 1,868 Member
    We all get scared and frustrated, probably moreso about maintaining weight loss, rather than the actual losing of weight. Many of us have lost weight before. Most of us have gained it back. You're in the right place. Just get started. Again. When you get close to your maintenance weight get on the maintenance boards and read them daily. Lots of great suggestions and tips.
  • daneejela
    daneejela Posts: 461 Member
    @threecheers20
    This is really a great question! I don't have any kids and yet I feel like I could've written it.
    At the moment I've lost half of my extra weight (20lbs off, 20 still on) and now we are planning for a pregnancy.
    I really want kids and at the same time I am so scared that I will do to jo-jo thing, but on a much grater scale.

    But, even without kids - it's really great question how to make this winning streak a way of life, not isolated success.

    I haven't completely found an answer, but here is what I got so far:

    I am trying to focus on behavior, and for each behavior I wanna change I ask myself - Is this something I wanna do for the rest of my life?
    I know it's still not a warranty that I will continue do it in the stressful period, but at least I am trying to avoid overload with too many stuff that I know I would fail once when life gets busier.

    For this reason I have ditched the squats challenge - I know I don't want/can to do 100 squats daily every day whole life.

    Things I would really wanna do till my old age:

    - Having 3 (and a half) meals a day - kind of French way, instead of constant snacking - I want to do this in every life setup, and it looks doable since it takes less energy & time to eat 3 times then eat 10 times.

    - Not eat junk food on a regular basis - I was grown this way, so I believe that it's doable.

    - Short daily walk - I still haven't make it as a habit, but it sounds like one of those things that could fit in any life setup ( whether it's a walk to work, or walk with a kid, or friend or just a short walk around the block).

    - Short yoga sequence - anything under 10 mins sounds like a doable habit to keep.

    Other then this, I guess it's an art of being flexible in life and to learn how to adapt to a new situation.
    Probably many things come from the prep work when while we're in the comfortable situation, to recognize our challenges on time and maybe ask for a help.

  • daneejela
    daneejela Posts: 461 Member
    About leftovers - I've struggled with this a lot, too.
    Nowadays I just ask myself - If I eat this leftover, is that really gonna make someone else less hungry? It's not, it was reasonable measure in the age of famine for one's own security in the future. It was never about Africa.
    What you can do if you are concerned about world's resources is - buy less, prepare less, consume less.

    Otherwise, eating something just because it's left is just making a trash can our of yourself.
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