At the end of my rope

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Aundrea01
Aundrea01 Posts: 5
in Introduce Yourself
Hello...My name is Aundrea. I am 34 years old, have 3 children, divorced, and just graduated college with a degree in Respiratory Therapy. I am involved with a wonderful woman who has 1 child, making our grand total 4 (ages 13, 10, 8, and 4) wonderful children.

I have struggled with my weight my whole life. I can remember being 8 years old and dreading going shopping for school clothes. I have tried everything, every diet, every pill, joined the gym, considered gastric bypass, I am literally at my wits end. I do really well exercising for a while and inevitably quit for some reason. I can't stand to look at myself in the mirror, not to mention allow anyone to see me naked! I was married for 12 years and my husband only saw me a couple of times and my current relationship has been ongoing for 3 years and she has never seen me. It is embarassing and everyday my heart aches. I need help in ways that I cannot express. I am reaching an age where diabetes is a real threat along with a slew of other diseases. My children are normal weight and quite healthy, I have made sure of that. I have roughly 100 pounds to lose and if anyone has any tips, advice, anything that can help me, please let me know. This has to stop. Thank you!

Replies

  • Kougra
    Kougra Posts: 358 Member
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    Hello and Welcome! You took the first step. It is not an easy journey but so worth it. You will have up days and down days...on the down days....all you need to do ask for help and we are here to help. :flowerforyou:
  • 111408
    111408 Posts: 27
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    Watch what you eat. Don't diet, you need to change your lifestyle. Read about nutrition and figure out what will work for you. As a general rule, toss eating out. Eat lots of fruits, vegetables, legumes, nuts, and meat. Don't use tons of artificial stuff in cooking and really just watch what and how much you eat.

    Second, exercise! Daily, whether its a walk, a Zumba class, a workout DVD, anything! Get your heart rate up at least 30 minutes a day.

    It won't come off right away, but keep at it and you will see results!
  • SunshineKisses_2012
    SunshineKisses_2012 Posts: 471 Member
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    I feel your pain. I'm 31 and my family has a history of diabetes. I have 123-ish pounds to lose (I may stop at 100, depending on how my body looks/feels) and it feels like a daunting task. No one in my family has ever been at a healthy weight because of a healthy life style (plenty have been skinny because of drugs), so it's that much more important for me to do this the healthy way. There are a lot of people on here that are very encouraging and very uplifting. Add us as friends and we will be here to encourage you! YOU CAN DO THIS!!
  • swanny320
    swanny320 Posts: 169 Member
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    Hey!

    First of all, you made the first step which is coming out here and looking for support. This place is AWESOME and you're going to find the best people out here. Everyone is so supportive. Second, it sounds like the problem is your self esteem. You keep sabotaging yourself. Do you believe you DESERVE to feel good about yourself?

    Set some mini goals first. If you set too goals that are too high, you will feel failure. Start with five pounds, then move it to ten and so on. Throw away all the junk food in your house or give it to a food bank (even better). Decide today that you're going to take care of yourself and then just get out and start moving! Invest in yourself. Invest in good, healthy food, a gym membership and if you can afford it, a heart rate monitor.

    You can do this! It's just mind over matter! Good luck!
  • wickedcricket
    wickedcricket Posts: 1,246 Member
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    just read the message boards. You will see dozens of ppl like you in various stages of weight loss. Some have just begun, some have lost over 100 lbs. Everybody here seems to have lost it SLOWLY.
    Since you are larger, you will lose bigger at first. From what I'm learning, the smaller one is, the harder it is to lose (I don't know why this is)
    So here I am attempting to lose around 55 or 60 lbs - I'm giving it at least 6 mos.
    There is major support and info here. Most everyone recommends starting with walking- something everyone can do & requires no special equipment.
    No diet really - IF your kids eat healthy meals in portions you're halfway there - just eat what they eat. It's not an overnight process but it does work - at least it's working for the ppl I've seen (I've lost 5 lbs so far)
    drink more water. no matter HOW much water you drink now, drink more

    WELCOME - have fun with it - use us for encouragement
  • carolinagirl7
    carolinagirl7 Posts: 435 Member
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    Welcome to MFP. The support and infomation is incredible on this site. Try setting some short term goals for yourself and take your weight loss 1 day at a time. Feel free to add me as a friend.:smile:
  • thepearlgirl
    thepearlgirl Posts: 7
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    i am new here; however, i know that if you want to break old habits, start small. work for small goals that you know you can do every day...like a 5-10 minute walk. you can start a streak of how many days you can walk for 5 minutes or whatever you know you can do and build on that small and wonderful success. i think we tend to start too big and set ourselves up for failure. also, soak yourself in kind self talk. if you have ever tried to remove crabgrass you know that if the gound is dry, it just breaks off and the roots and plant stay intact in the earth...however, if you soak that same grass in water that reaches slowly to the roots, it is easily removed completely. if you want to break bad habits of poor food choices or lack of activity, start with self love and fierce kindness towards yourself. saturate your soul in kindness and self compassion. it will be much easier to remove the things in your life that you wish to remove when you have saturated your soul and spirit with self love. lastly, remember that you are not alone. you are part of all humanity and we have all been up against a wall of some sort in our lives...including our weight and needing to take better care of our health. rely on the positive feedback you receive from others and be inspired by their successes that will soon be yours as well. i wish you much love, peace and happiness! you deserve it!
  • YamRector
    YamRector Posts: 74 Member
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    I know how you feel...I am feeling that if I don't lose weight NOW, I am just going to die :sad: and I mean it...my body is not taking the weight, my back feels like it's going to break if I stand 5 minutes...I get tired doing even nothing...I am depress...to make it short:
    NOW OR NEVER! :wink:
    I am going to a therapist, and also a dieting group and these two are helping a lot. The group is awesome, very supporting. I know that just loosing weight will not help me in the long run, in my case I need therapy too, otherwise I will gain in no time all the weight back...it already happened...so this time, I am surrounding myself with ALL the tools I can find, and good friends that make the same journey are the best!
    Please add me to your friends! Let's do it together! I am new here and I don't have almost any friend yet!
    Take care!
    Yam
  • YamRector
    YamRector Posts: 74 Member
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    i am new here; however, i know that if you want to break old habits, start small. work for small goals that you know you can do every day...like a 5-10 minute walk. you can start a streak of how many days you can walk for 5 minutes or whatever you know you can do and build on that small and wonderful success. i think we tend to start too big and set ourselves up for failure. also, soak yourself in kind self talk. if you have ever tried to remove crabgrass you know that if the gound is dry, it just breaks off and the roots and plant stay intact in the earth...however, if you soak that same grass in water that reaches slowly to the roots, it is easily removed completely. if you want to break bad habits of poor food choices or lack of activity, start with self love and fierce kindness towards yourself. saturate your soul in kindness and self compassion. it will be much easier to remove the things in your life that you wish to remove when you have saturated your soul and spirit with self love. lastly, remember that you are not alone. you are part of all humanity and we have all been up against a wall of some sort in our lives...including our weight and needing to take better care of our health. rely on the positive feedback you receive from others and be inspired by their successes that will soon be yours as well. i wish you much love, peace and happiness! you deserve it!

    You are SO kind! and so right...I will print your words so I will remember...remember to love myself.
    Thanks!
  • ninerbuff
    ninerbuff Posts: 48,714 Member
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    Hello...My name is Aundrea. I am 34 years old, have 3 children, divorced, and just graduated college with a degree in Respiratory Therapy. I am involved with a wonderful woman who has 1 child, making our grand total 4 (ages 13, 10, 8, and 4) wonderful children.

    I have struggled with my weight my whole life. I can remember being 8 years old and dreading going shopping for school clothes. I have tried everything, every diet, every pill, joined the gym, considered gastric bypass, I am literally at my wits end. I do really well exercising for a while and inevitably quit for some reason. I can't stand to look at myself in the mirror, not to mention allow anyone to see me naked! I was married for 12 years and my husband only saw me a couple of times and my current relationship has been ongoing for 3 years and she has never seen me. It is embarassing and everyday my heart aches. I need help in ways that I cannot express. I am reaching an age where diabetes is a real threat along with a slew of other diseases. My children are normal weight and quite healthy, I have made sure of that. I have roughly 100 pounds to lose and if anyone has any tips, advice, anything that can help me, please let me know. This has to stop. Thank you!
    While I think that losing the weight may help, I think you really need to "cure" the mental aspect of it first. Have you tried discussing your issue with a therapist? I know it may sound odd, but I've recommended to clients to just check with their health therapists in their hospitals and many discovered what actually was their issue. Then when they approached weight loss, it was much more successful. Just a thought.
  • YamRector
    YamRector Posts: 74 Member
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    [/quote]While I think that losing the weight may help, I think you really need to "cure" the mental aspect of it first. Have you tried discussing your issue with a therapist? I know it may sound odd, but I've recommended to clients to just check with their health therapists in their hospitals and many discovered what actually was their issue. Then when they approached weight loss, it was much more successful. Just a thought.
    [/quote]

    I agree with you...I did that. I know I am an emotional eater, I really wish I eat when i am hungry, but I am not...
  • espinozAgal
    espinozAgal Posts: 160 Member
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    Hello to you! I have been using MFP for a while now, but today is the first day I've been on message boards! So we are new together!! You've taken the first step... YAY for you! Don't give up. Be the best version of you that you can be!!
  • Aundrea01
    Aundrea01 Posts: 5
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    Wow...thank you all for your kind remarks! It is truly an eye opener to see how much support there is out there! I do know my self esteem is an issue. It has plagued me my whole life. I am blessed to be with someone who is helping me to see myself in a new way. It is just frustrating! I do know how to eat right. I have for years! Exercise is where I struggle. I can't afford a personal trainer but I would love someone to help me make a plan! I am so grateful to all of you for your kind words and I look forward to helping you in any way I can! Thank you again!!

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