Nasty comments from strangers

CrazyComicLady
CrazyComicLady Posts: 98 Member
edited November 21 in Motivation and Support
Hi there, I had an unpleasant experience with a woman I see occasionally when I walk my dog, she said it looked like I'd put on weight, complete with unflattering hand gestures indicating how fat I was, I got as far as to say 'I suffer from disabilities' before she cut me off and said that was no excuse. I'm really upset and angry about this, she doesn't know me or anything about my life. The last few days I've been having to use crutches around the house because my condition as been so bad, I can't use them when I take the dog out because I need both hands to control her so I manage as best I can without them, often hobbling and limping my way home. (I suffer from partly fused ankles/tarsal coalitions and Ehler danlos syndrome). She has no right to judge me, the stupid thing is that I haven't gained any weight in the few weeks since I last saw her. I have put on about 12 lbs this year because I've been really struggling with a lot of stresses in my life but I'm still 22lbs less than I was 2 years ago. I've always struggled with my self esteem when it comes to my appearance but to have it confirmed by a stranger is so soul crushing, I feel so discussing. I hate myself.
She even said I 'should use one of those tablet things' to help. (I've been on this app since late 2015) I walked away at that point. Ive struggled with eating disorders since I was a teen. I've been a battling my emotional eating for 16 years. God knows I try.
I'm so deflated and upset. Other people's thoughtless comments can be so damaging when your not in a good headspace. I'm 5'4 and 157lbs

Have you guys had any similar experiences or received comments from people which has shaken your confidence?
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Replies

  • rheddmobile
    rheddmobile Posts: 6,840 Member
    Added because I hadn't done the math - I'm seeing that you have a BMI of 27? You're not even obese and she feels justified in saying something to you. She's a kitten, and not the cute furry kind.
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  • bizgirl26
    bizgirl26 Posts: 1,795 Member
    competecompetecompete wrote: »
    Tell her "hey I can always lose weight and look good. You're an ahole so you'll always look ugly"

    Works for me !
    10116386.png
  • CoachJen71
    CoachJen71 Posts: 1,200 Member
    Wow! Who made her the boss of you?! :#

    I am so sorry that happened to you. *hugs* Please try to let it go and do what you already know is best for you. I hope your pain eases up. I have arthritis and understand about living with chronic pain.
  • KiwiVenture
    KiwiVenture Posts: 6 Member
    I feel like anytime someone feels the need to speak to someone else like that, it usually indicates that they are deeply depressed and upset with themselves and projecting their negativity on to others. I'm so sorry you had that experience but it is not a reflection of you, it is of her. It sounds like she has some issues she needs to deal with. She also needs to follow that golden rule we were all taught as children, if you don't have anything nice to say, don't say anything at all!
  • GrayRider61
    GrayRider61 Posts: 337 Member
    Don't feel a need to explain yourself. And if someone is rude or you don't like them, don't talk to them. If all else fails, tell'em to kiss your *kitten*. :D
  • TavistockToad
    TavistockToad Posts: 35,719 Member
    people are twats....
  • lauracups
    lauracups Posts: 533 Member
    I've had plenty of negative thrown my way, my default was to initially ignore, then obsess and let it bleep up my day. Now I found the beauty of a brief f u and let it go. Find what makes you feel free or imagine an umbrella deflecting the comment, like the whole rubber glue thing, hey we teach our toddlers it, embrace it;)
  • Volbeat79
    Volbeat79 Posts: 185 Member
    *kitten* that *kitten*!
  • Piqueaboo
    Piqueaboo Posts: 1,193 Member
    How awful. I'm going to try to focus on how miserable she must be with her own life to go off on you like that. Try not to think about her, she clearly is not in the right here! Some people are just horrid.
  • pizzafruit
    pizzafruit Posts: 318 Member
    I am the only overweight sibling out of 8 kids. My oldest sister (may she rest in peace) used to call me chubby in this condescending tone that made me want to slap her. When I got older I discovered she was a very unhappy person and I simply stepped away from any unnecessary interactions.
    One of my other sisters bought me a jogging suit for Christmas some years ago and told me that deep down she knew I wanted to lose weight. I never put that outfit on, I gave it to the poor.
    I'm still battling my weight but my sister no longer finds it necessary to "guide" me. The boundaries have been made very clear. Easier said than done I know but you'll feel so much better and in control of you.










  • SilverSheWolf55
    SilverSheWolf55 Posts: 95 Member
    I can't believe she had the nerve to say such a cruel thing. I agree with the others, people can be so cruel. NO ONE"S opinion matters but your own. And you are definitely NOT obese. I feel the reason this person said that is plane and simple.....she doesn't feel good about herself, so she feels she has to make other folks feel bad about themselves. GOOD FOR YOU, for you are inspiring just by being YOU. :)
  • gothchiq
    gothchiq Posts: 4,590 Member
    If people have any unsolicited advice for me I tell them exactly what they can do with it, and ask them who died and made them God. Then I flip them off. IDGAF if it's immature. If people won't mind their business then they can deal with backlash.
  • CrazyComicLady
    CrazyComicLady Posts: 98 Member
    suzannesimmons3 wrote: »
    This post seems very familiar....have you been here before op.

    Nope, this is only the second topic I've ever created on mfp. The first one was an introduction and friend hunt.
  • CrazyComicLady
    CrazyComicLady Posts: 98 Member
    competecompetecompete wrote: »
    Tell her "hey I can always lose weight and look good. You're an ahole so you'll always look ugly"


    Haha wish I'd thought of that at the time and had the balls to say it.
  • CrazyComicLady
    CrazyComicLady Posts: 98 Member
    Massive thank you to everyone for your support, I was letting this eat at me way to much and your comments have really helped me put it to one side. Your all awesome people, thanks for your kindness and understanding Xxx
  • Bex953172
    Bex953172 Posts: 4,162 Member
    Some people are just idiots.

    I have the same BMI as you, but 5'7 and 170lbs.
    I remember I got the confidence to wear tight leggings, a backless top and some nice boots and some random guy shouted "stripper!!" Out the van!

    I was walking with my 3yo and baby in a pram!
    I've not worn it since!
    It can really knock you what people say.
    But from what you've said about your past it sounds like you've dealt with much more difficult things than some stupid cow at the park!

    Be proud of what you've achieved! :)
  • eyer0ll
    eyer0ll Posts: 313 Member
    People are trash. I'm sorry that happened to you.
  • Alatariel75
    Alatariel75 Posts: 18,252 Member
    This is where I have perfected a slightly WTF, quizzical look, like you'd have if you just saw something slightly gross but inexplicable and you're trying to work out what it is, and just hold that, silently, until they get uncomfortable and go away.

    Like this one:

    DBSM08uWAAA8W6v.jpg
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  • jackie_van_d
    jackie_van_d Posts: 75 Member
    I know two things for sure
    1) NEVER ask a Woman if she's expecting (even if she is) cause it quite often leads to(I'm sooo big and a bucket of tears)
    2) NEVER tell a person they look heavier, it's very hurtful

    I've experienced both. The 2) I had lost 15 lbs and was excited about that an that comment derailed me for a looooooong time
    Hugs to you and ppl can be so flipping rude
  • GemstoneofHeart
    GemstoneofHeart Posts: 865 Member
    Ugh that is awful. So sorry!
  • Pupslice
    Pupslice Posts: 213 Member
    I think, under circumstances where someone is so unnecessary, incredibly rude, that it is perfectly acceptable to look that person dead in the eyes and tell them to go eff themselves.
This discussion has been closed.

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