Nasty comments from strangers

Hi there, I had an unpleasant experience with a woman I see occasionally when I walk my dog, she said it looked like I'd put on weight, complete with unflattering hand gestures indicating how fat I was, I got as far as to say 'I suffer from disabilities' before she cut me off and said that was no excuse. I'm really upset and angry about this, she doesn't know me or anything about my life. The last few days I've been having to use crutches around the house because my condition as been so bad, I can't use them when I take the dog out because I need both hands to control her so I manage as best I can without them, often hobbling and limping my way home. (I suffer from partly fused ankles/tarsal coalitions and Ehler danlos syndrome). She has no right to judge me, the stupid thing is that I haven't gained any weight in the few weeks since I last saw her. I have put on about 12 lbs this year because I've been really struggling with a lot of stresses in my life but I'm still 22lbs less than I was 2 years ago. I've always struggled with my self esteem when it comes to my appearance but to have it confirmed by a stranger is so soul crushing, I feel so discussing. I hate myself.
She even said I 'should use one of those tablet things' to help. (I've been on this app since late 2015) I walked away at that point. Ive struggled with eating disorders since I was a teen. I've been a battling my emotional eating for 16 years. God knows I try.
I'm so deflated and upset. Other people's thoughtless comments can be so damaging when your not in a good headspace. I'm 5'4 and 157lbs

Have you guys had any similar experiences or received comments from people which has shaken your confidence?
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Replies

  • rheddmobile
    rheddmobile Posts: 6,841 Member
    Added because I hadn't done the math - I'm seeing that you have a BMI of 27? You're not even obese and she feels justified in saying something to you. She's a kitten, and not the cute furry kind.
  • bizgirl26
    bizgirl26 Posts: 1,808 Member
    Tell her "hey I can always lose weight and look good. You're an ahole so you'll always look ugly"

    Works for me !
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  • CoachJen71
    CoachJen71 Posts: 1,200 Member
    Wow! Who made her the boss of you?! :#

    I am so sorry that happened to you. *hugs* Please try to let it go and do what you already know is best for you. I hope your pain eases up. I have arthritis and understand about living with chronic pain.
  • KiwiVenture
    KiwiVenture Posts: 6 Member
    I feel like anytime someone feels the need to speak to someone else like that, it usually indicates that they are deeply depressed and upset with themselves and projecting their negativity on to others. I'm so sorry you had that experience but it is not a reflection of you, it is of her. It sounds like she has some issues she needs to deal with. She also needs to follow that golden rule we were all taught as children, if you don't have anything nice to say, don't say anything at all!
  • GrayRider61
    GrayRider61 Posts: 337 Member
    Don't feel a need to explain yourself. And if someone is rude or you don't like them, don't talk to them. If all else fails, tell'em to kiss your *kitten*. :D
  • TavistockToad
    TavistockToad Posts: 35,731 Member
    people are twats....
  • lauracups
    lauracups Posts: 536 Member
    I've had plenty of negative thrown my way, my default was to initially ignore, then obsess and let it bleep up my day. Now I found the beauty of a brief f u and let it go. Find what makes you feel free or imagine an umbrella deflecting the comment, like the whole rubber glue thing, hey we teach our toddlers it, embrace it;)
  • Volbeat79
    Volbeat79 Posts: 185 Member
    *kitten* that *kitten*!
  • Piqueaboo
    Piqueaboo Posts: 1,193 Member
    How awful. I'm going to try to focus on how miserable she must be with her own life to go off on you like that. Try not to think about her, she clearly is not in the right here! Some people are just horrid.
  • pizzafruit
    pizzafruit Posts: 315 Member
    I am the only overweight sibling out of 8 kids. My oldest sister (may she rest in peace) used to call me chubby in this condescending tone that made me want to slap her. When I got older I discovered she was a very unhappy person and I simply stepped away from any unnecessary interactions.
    One of my other sisters bought me a jogging suit for Christmas some years ago and told me that deep down she knew I wanted to lose weight. I never put that outfit on, I gave it to the poor.
    I'm still battling my weight but my sister no longer finds it necessary to "guide" me. The boundaries have been made very clear. Easier said than done I know but you'll feel so much better and in control of you.










  • SilverSheWolf55
    SilverSheWolf55 Posts: 95 Member
    I can't believe she had the nerve to say such a cruel thing. I agree with the others, people can be so cruel. NO ONE"S opinion matters but your own. And you are definitely NOT obese. I feel the reason this person said that is plane and simple.....she doesn't feel good about herself, so she feels she has to make other folks feel bad about themselves. GOOD FOR YOU, for you are inspiring just by being YOU. :)
  • gothchiq
    gothchiq Posts: 4,592 Member
    If people have any unsolicited advice for me I tell them exactly what they can do with it, and ask them who died and made them God. Then I flip them off. IDGAF if it's immature. If people won't mind their business then they can deal with backlash.