Missing my husband but reaching my goals

I started on MFP about 5 years ago, way before I hit my topped out weight. I had basically been a thin person my whole life. In my 30's & 40's I started yo-yoing so I finally started eating healthy and exercising and at 47 years old, was at my perfect weight of 127 lbs, so I thought it was time to quit smoking. That was 10 years ago. Then I went through menopause. Between the two, I started gaining weight and pretty much didn't stop (some short diets here and there), until I got on a fitness and healthy eating plan, that I've been on for about a year and a half now. I recently started logging onto MFP again and going to a weight loss clinic for the last few months. In that year and a half, I have been going to the gym, lost weight, gained weight and lost some more. I've watched my husband of 34 years, go through horrific throat cancer treatment, which ultimately did not work. He was on a feeding tube the whole time, about 2 1/2 years. I would go get fast food and eat it in the car on the way home because I felt guilty for eating in front of him. The cancer spread to his brain and I lost him in January. He never made me feel fat, even at 5'3", 234 lbs. I have lost almost 58 lbs now, and am more than halfway to my goal. I wish he were here, but I can still hear his voice in my head, telling me in his Bostonian accent, "you look gorgeous sweethawt!". I will make it to my goal and there are a few things I will always remember. 1. My weight loss clinic coach told me, "once you reach your goal weight, continue to weigh yourself. If you start to gain weight back, do not let yourself go more than 4 lbs before you get yourself back on track. If you don't, once you hit that 5th pound, it's easy to just let yourself start eating badly and continue to gain." 2. Betty White was asked how she has kept her figure into her 90's. She said she weighs herself every day and if she gains, then she eats better that day. And 3. My husband is always cheering my on, even if I can't see him.