We broke up because...
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Cried when I bit him..geez princess it was a little love bite0
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She looked like an elderly lady Gaga0
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OH, sooo many places to go with this...
She wanted a prepubescent boy toy... I obviously didn't foot the bill!0 -
When we went to Dinner he wouldn't pick up the bill!0
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We went to dinner and she picked duo the Bills. The Buffalo Bills football team0
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No way!!!
Broncos all the way Baby!
She didn't know me at all!0 -
There was only room in her heart for Broncos0
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She caught me Lovin on Peyton Manning!
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She sat on my face when I was sleeping0
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She made me get rid of all my Late Night with David Letterman VHS cassettes...0
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He was always reminding me to be kind and rewind!0
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She mommied me too much...0
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He wanted me to call him the d word
Daphne... Weird0 -
I was not sufficiently qualified to keep her satisfied...0
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Because if I had stayed he would have ruined me!0
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She couldn't handle the pressure of dating a billionaire!1
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He wouldn't stay on the island with me
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She didn't consider my happy anniversary emoji a proper gift...0
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One of his personalities wanted to kill me
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..looked like a prepubescent boy..titless 
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