Lifting with the Boys

rh1rh9405
rh1rh9405 Posts: 9 Member
edited November 21 in Fitness and Exercise
Hey there!
I'm pretty new to the whole powerlifting thing (about 5/6 months in) - so I've got my newb gains and it's all going pretty swell. (Swole?)
The thing is, I'm the only girl that I see powerlifting IRL - I train with my boyfriend and a couple mates and it kind of sucks because they're all so much stronger than me. Of course, when I bring this up with them they're all like 'ohhh no don't be sad about that ur a girl ur just not as strong anyway'. Is this a valid excuse or not?? I find it suuuper frustrating that I've hit a plateau at 100kg 1RM deadlift (which is a weight that a couple other 'scrawny' guys can do - my mates are all 17, the same age as me, and two of them are currently working towards 200kg dead) and it just feels so disheartening. It's got to the point where I no longer want to train with my mates because there's such a difference in ability. Am I being overly self-conscious or do they have a point? Am I really less capable of lifting as heavy just because I'm a girl?

Replies

  • H_Ock12
    H_Ock12 Posts: 1,152 Member
    In my experience, not less capable, but your strength gains will come much more slowly than theirs. I've found this particularly true of upper body. Check out Google or Instagram for female powerlifters to see what you may be capable of with hard work and perseverance.
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  • H_Ock12
    H_Ock12 Posts: 1,152 Member
    rh1rh9405 wrote: »
    Thanks a lot! I've not really looked at Insta fitness stuff mainly because half of it seems to be promo stuff like 'buy this fit tea you'll lose 20lb in a week!!' which just makes me a bit mad tbh...do you know of any that avoid the dumb promo stuff?

    Search for #womenwhopowerlift #girlswhopowerlift. You'll wade through a little fluff, but few sales ads or promo stuff.
  • SonyaCele
    SonyaCele Posts: 2,841 Member
    don't compare yourself to them, and look at it on the bright side, they will always be able to spot you! and you aren't the only girl powerlifting, its super popular for the ladies. If you wanna get past your newb gains, look into some coaching, a good coach will break your plateaus and take you to the next level.
  • SonyaCele
    SonyaCele Posts: 2,841 Member
    rh1rh9405 wrote: »
    Thanks a lot! I've not really looked at Insta fitness stuff mainly because half of it seems to be promo stuff like 'buy this fit tea you'll lose 20lb in a week!!' which just makes me a bit mad tbh...do you know of any that avoid the dumb promo stuff?

    are you on facebook? there are a bunch of powerlifting groups for women , with no ads allowed
  • deputy_randolph
    deputy_randolph Posts: 940 Member
    edited August 2017
    I've competed in 3 pl competitions...all coed. I've been the smallest lifter in 2 out of 3 of those comps. I got nothing but positive comments from the men.

    I lift with my husband. He lifts twice as much as me, but he's a foot taller and 75lbs heavier. Why would I compare myself to him?

    Better question...why do your male friends feel the need to compare themselves to a female? Does it make them feel better about their own lifts?

    Also, your friends are immature...and probably single.

    ETA: reread original post...maybe I'm wrong; maybe they aren't being jerks. You might be taking it too personally that they can lift more.
  • ArvinSloane
    ArvinSloane Posts: 80 Member
    rh1rh9405 wrote: »
    Thanks a lot! I've not really looked at Insta fitness stuff mainly because half of it seems to be promo stuff like 'buy this fit tea you'll lose 20lb in a week!!' which just makes me a bit mad tbh...do you know of any that avoid the dumb promo stuff?

    Check out @thisisfemalepowerlifting or the hashtags #thisisfemalepowerlifting and #tifpl--they repost a lot of awesome female lifters. The powerlifting community on IG is great, not a lot of dishonest/advertising content. Just really inspiring, and supportive no matter what level you're at.
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  • Erik8484
    Erik8484 Posts: 458 Member
    http://www.exrx.net/Testing/WeightLifting/StrengthStandards.html

    Strength standards for women are lower than they are for men, even at the same weights. I'm not sure why, but it is what it is. That doesn't mean you can't break the mould!
  • Willbenchforcupcakes
    Willbenchforcupcakes Posts: 4,955 Member
    ArvinSloane wrote: »
    rh1rh9405 wrote: »
    Thanks a lot! I've not really looked at Insta fitness stuff mainly because half of it seems to be promo stuff like 'buy this fit tea you'll lose 20lb in a week!!' which just makes me a bit mad tbh...do you know of any that avoid the dumb promo stuff?

    Check out @thisisfemalepowerlifting or the hashtags #thisisfemalepowerlifting and #tifpl--they repost a lot of awesome female lifters. The powerlifting community on IG is great, not a lot of dishonest/advertising content. Just really inspiring, and supportive no matter what level you're at.

    Yup. These ladies are awesome and amazing people.

    Powerlifters in general are pretty awesome. It should be you vs you - are you lifting with better technique/more weight/just generally enjoying the process?
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  • bbell1985
    bbell1985 Posts: 4,571 Member
    I do not care. I lift with men who can obviously squat more than me. They still help me powder my thighs at competition and spot my bench. Don't give a *kitten*. I'm doing what I can do.
  • Okiludy
    Okiludy Posts: 558 Member
    You seem to enjoy lifting and that's all that matters.

    Yes your gains will be smaller and slower but does that matter. Unless your pretty advanced powerlifting is really only a competition with yourself. Crush your PRs and smoke your reps.
  • canadianlbs
    canadianlbs Posts: 5,199 Member
    edited August 2017
    i'm a once-weekly regular in a lift club that's had a rotating population that was sometimes all men and i know the feeling. i don't get told 'd'awww, you're a girl and you're old', but that's probably only because i don't say very much about it.

    i think it would put the guys on the spot a little bit too, like their much-higher weights were something they had to apologize for. i mean, to be fair to them idk what i could expect them to say about it. it just is what it is, but yup.

    it would be so much fun to be just stupidly, ridiculously strong, so i do know the feel.

    ETA: fwiw, i think the atmosphere in my own club makes a difference to my own mood about it. there's this general thing of people noticing each other's challenges and individual struggles in a way that kind of cancels the question of weight. so over time, i think the feeling sort of levels out a little bit if you stick with the same group of people. you get to see ALL of them being humbled and baffled by something or other, eventually. and for whatever reason i find that we all seem to identify with that side of it in a way that really does start to cancel [some of] the question of Absolute Weight.
  • maranarasauce93
    maranarasauce93 Posts: 293 Member
    Female powerlifter. I've been focusing on powerlifting for just over a year. There are strong female powerlifters out there. Look up girls who powerlift on insta. Such strong women that can outlift many gym bros. I thought I was alone and I started seeing more women at my gym powerlifting. There are 2 women at my gym who have been competing longer for me and they are probably the top in the state I live in. Sometimes it's good to venture out though and lift amongst these strong women. You can go to powerliftingtowin's website and you can find local powerlifting gyms.
  • Chieflrg
    Chieflrg Posts: 9,097 Member
    Sounds like it's possible you ran you novice progression out and need to move onto aadvanced novice or possibly intermediate lifting program . A plateau many times but not always could just mean you need some extra volume to drive adaptation which might be done by adding more frequency of a extra day of training or just a set of whatever lift you're stalling at. Regardless I would discuss this with your coach.
  • Muscleflex79
    Muscleflex79 Posts: 1,917 Member
    ArvinSloane wrote: »
    Erik8484 wrote: »
    http://www.exrx.net/Testing/WeightLifting/StrengthStandards.html

    Strength standards for women are lower than they are for men, even at the same weights. I'm not sure why, but it is what it is. That doesn't mean you can't break the mould!

    Because women in general have less testosterone, less muscle mass even at max genetic potential, and thus cannot achieve the same numbers as men at comparable body weights. This is all on average, of course--it doesn't mean that any given man is automatically stronger than any given woman at the same bodyweight. (For instance, I bet Daniela Melo can outsquat most 84kg guys. :) )
    rh1rh9405 wrote: »
    Willbenchforcupcakes wrote: »
    are you lifting with better technique/more weight/just generally enjoying the process?

    Hell yeah - apart from the one 'oopsie' where I failed a squat without safety supports and I was stuck with the barbell on my neck (it was my first month ok i didn't know i could just roll it off...)

    So glad you are enjoying it! There really is nothing like the feeling of ripping a weight off the floor that you couldn't lift six months ago.

    this. less testosterone means women, on average, have less muscle mass than men. I feel bad *kitten* when I'm benching a plate a side for sets/reps (135lbs), then look over and see a man benching three plates per side (315lbs) and feel a little sad, but it doesn't stop me! use it to inspire you - you likely won't lift as much as the strongest guy out there, but it certainly makes me push myself to do the best I can!
  • sgt1372
    sgt1372 Posts: 3,997 Member
    edited August 2017
    OP: If you feel the need to compare your abilty to lift w/men, just plug your age, wt and lifting data into the Strength Levels Calculator below to see how your lifts compare w/men your age and wt. Just make sure you specify male instead of female.

    http://strengthlevel.com/

    It's quite likely that you will be able lift more than some but not as much as others (unless you're extraordinary, which is of course possible) but such comparisons will make more sense than comparing yourself with men much larger and younger than you, who as a group should be able to lift much more than both men and women older and lighter than them.

    You can of course use the calculator to compare yourself w/other women of the same age and weight, which IMO would make the most sense in terms of gauging your strength but, if it motivates you more to compare yourself w/men, go for it!
  • spisces89
    spisces89 Posts: 1 Member
    Easier said than done, but don't compare yourself with other people. They may have been lifting longer than you, they may have a strength /sports background, they're taller or shorter or have biomechanics that lend themselves to a particular lift... All these things will affect how you build muscle and gain strength.

    Different people grow and gain strength at different speeds. My boyfriend can gain strength very easily and quickly. He can also drink pints of beer and maintain a 6 pack. I on the other hand, am a slow gainer. It took me 9 months to add 2.5 KG on to my bench once, and it wasn't even a heavy bench to start with and If I drink pints and pints; I go up a weight category.
    Every body is different.

    Strength is a slow game, you have to be consistent and trust the process. You'll get there.
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