Friends want me to eat a donut...

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carriecarrot
carriecarrot Posts: 70 Member
in Health and Weight Loss
I need some advice on a situation. I have some friends that want to go to a local donut shop, which is a popular college hang out spot in town. Personally, I do not want to waste 300 calories on a donut. I have already told this to the girl that invited me, and she thinks "one little donut won't hurt" (she is 125 lbs at 5'4" lol). Would it be rude for me to eat nothing or bring one of my 100 calorie cupcake packs with me?

Replies

  • em1976
    em1976 Posts: 119 Member
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    No I personally don't think its rude.Its your choice to lose weight,if she can't/won't support you,then take what you need to feel comfortable,be it a cupcake or a piece of fruit:)
  • ischmelle
    ischmelle Posts: 203 Member
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    Absolutely not! Go ahead and bring whatever you need to stay on track. I completely understand too. My friends who are not eating healthy get frustrated when they try to order food with me. Just make whatever allowances you need and enjoy yourself. Don't worry about them, they are the ones eating 300 (or more!) calories they don't need. :flowerforyou:
  • Rye631
    Rye631 Posts: 3
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    You could order a coffee or tea?
  • itslillers
    itslillers Posts: 27 Member
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    I definitely feel ya! It's so frustrating when going out to eat with friends who don't necessarily watch what they eat. But I agree with the others, just bring your own snack or eat something beforehand and maybe just order coffee or tea while you're there with your friends.
  • Ilovedrinkingtea
    Ilovedrinkingtea Posts: 597 Member
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    You need to make this decision yourself. Think about whether or not you're willing to do the exercise to earn it. The odd treat here and there is unlikely to make a huge impact on your weight loss. As long as you're not making it a big habit every day, I don't see what harm the donut will do xx
  • kathleennf
    kathleennf Posts: 606 Member
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    I have handled this situation in several of the ways mentioned, depending. For example I belong to a committee that has monthly breakfast meetings and usually at a place that only has really high calorie bacon-and-egg or pancake type breakfasts. For the first month or two I ate that, and ate less the rest of the day to make up for it. Then about the 3rd month or so I took a protein bar, ordered a coffee (black) at the restaurant and told the group that the breakfast was just plain too heavy for me. In other situations I have ordered something light off the menu instead- depends on the place and your relationship with the people. But if a donut is not what you want to splurge on- by all means don't feel obligated to eat it!! And make sure you tell them "I don't want to" not "I can't have it" - it makes it clear that it is YOUR DECISION.
  • dleon7900
    dleon7900 Posts: 9
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    You could also try to look up the restaurant online before you go and see what options they may have. Its my understanding that all restaurants have to have nutrition info available and usually they choose to do this online. If you look, you may see some options that are doable for you (low sugar or low fat options, for example) or even different foods that you didn't know they served. That way you could be prepared and not have to feel like you had to explain yourself. They don't even need to know why you picked what you did.

    If this isn't an option, however, I'd say stick to your guns. Unfortunately, friends can be unsupportive (I had one skinny friend who used to bring over 2lb bags of m&m's every time she came and then get mad when I wouldn't eat them) at times and you may find that you have to stick up for yourself in certain circumstances.
  • pixiechick8321
    pixiechick8321 Posts: 284 Member
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    Sounds like they want to hang out with you, not force you to eat a donut. I'm a bit smaller than your friend (5'4, 112 - do not mean to trigger anything, btw) and I wouldn't force anyone to eat a donut! I try hard not to eat them myself, they are empty calories and too much sugar (although very good).

    Why don't you bring an apple with you, or a small treat of another type? And tons of water - and then enjoy the company while they eat something bad and you enjoy your good food...

    No reason to be upset, just stick to your treat instead and enjoy spending time with friends!
  • JulieF11
    JulieF11 Posts: 387 Member
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    Hopefully the ladies you are with want the best for you and just roll with it. But if they don't understand, you can blame it on your digestive system. Perhaps just say you have "adverse reactions" to foods like that. (We do have adverse reactions you know... we get bigger.) Anyway, I think I'd eat my snack before I got there, so I wasn't hungry, and then order a large hot coffee or tea to have something to sip on.
  • obifatkanobi
    obifatkanobi Posts: 190
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    get the doughnut, break it in half and enjoy 150 calories of splurging on it, take the other half and stick it in her eye and ask her way she can't be more supportive... Just kidding. If you want to bring something I would think that a fair compromise, or, just eat a half of what ever is the healthiest choice and keep in mind this is not a diet, it's a lifestyle change and after the weight is down, your going ot have to maintain while still enjoying the splendid foods we all enjoy. Moderation, and do a little walking after, maybe go to the mall and walk it off.
  • diamondsnthesky
    diamondsnthesky Posts: 34 Member
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    And make sure you tell them "I don't want to" not "I can't have it" - it makes it clear that it is YOUR DECISION.

    Totally agree!
  • jennygiraffes
    jennygiraffes Posts: 17
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    I would have a talk with my friend about how she could support you better...tell her that you'd like to try a place that has some healthier options for you or to at least understand that eating a donut is counterproductive to your goal
  • juicygurl1
    juicygurl1 Posts: 195 Member
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    i see nothing wrong with u bringing ur own measured calorie food. enjoy the shop, and the people around you. don't get hung up on your friend's weight or looks, just focus on your goals and enjoy your youth!!!
  • traceywaugh
    traceywaugh Posts: 144
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    you have to do what you feels right for you . it shouldne affect your friends if you dont eat a doughnut. if they are true friends they will suport you. so if you want to take something with you
  • carriecarrot
    carriecarrot Posts: 70 Member
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    Thanks for all the responses. Unfortunately the cofee and tea idea is out because this place only serves soda pop, chips, and donuts. It's not your typical donut shop... It's the kind of donut shop where smokers are crowded in the front parking lot and druggies are shooting up in the back. It is open 24/7 so a lot of their business comes from drunk college students trying to recuperate from a late night of partying. Haha. It is also a tradition with my friends to go to this infamous donut shop (the hookah lounge is our other favorite spot that I never go to anymore because I stopped smoking). ---Anyway, I like what one poster said about saying I don't WANT a donut (which is true, I'd rather use my 300 cal or so on something else) instead of saying I CAN'T have one because of a diet. For the hookah lounge, I say I don't smoke. For this, I can't say I don't eat, because I do. But I can say I don't eat donuts, lol instead of saying I CAN'T eat them... because that just sparks an argument.
  • nehushtan
    nehushtan Posts: 566 Member
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    For whatever reason some people are put off by dieters in their midst.

    I noticed in your profile that you are hyperthyroid.... Perhaps that can be the "excuse" others need to hear to "allow" you to diet while you are around them. When your friend says "one won't hurt", you can say "Well, I'm hyperthyroid and I have to be careful about eating those... let me just come along and bring something else to eat that will help me. I just like hanging out!"
  • ahnpe
    ahnpe Posts: 32 Member
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    get the doughnut, break it in half and enjoy 150 calories of splurging on it, take the other half and stick it in her eye and ask her way she can't be more supportive... Just kidding. If you want to bring something I would think that a fair compromise, or, just eat a half of what ever is the healthiest choice and keep in mind this is not a diet, it's a lifestyle change and after the weight is down, your going ot have to maintain while still enjoying the splendid foods we all enjoy. Moderation, and do a little walking after, maybe go to the mall and walk it off.

    What this guy said. Enjoy food! But do it in moderation- the overconsumption of unhealthy foods is what makes us gain weight in the first place. This is the diet you will have the rest of your life. Don't be afraid to eat one doughnut when you can choose to do something active later on, or plan to eat nutrient dense foods the rest of the day. If you don't want the doughnut then good for you! Just because you go to a place that serves doughnuts doesn't mean you have to get a doughnut- get tea or coffee like others suggested.
  • jjgirl76
    jjgirl76 Posts: 68 Member
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    It has taken me a while, but I now have no problem with bringing the food that is allowable for me and going simply for the friends I can hang out with. Get you a diet coke and enjoy the fellowship.
  • wildon883r
    wildon883r Posts: 429 Member
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    I'm gonna have the freaking donut. It's about moderation not deprivation.

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