Too fat, never going to lose weight!!
dawn_westbury
Posts: 358 Member
Does anyone else ever feel like they just have SO MUCH weight to lose that it’s never going to happen?! I look at my stomach, my arms, etc and think “how can I ever lose all this fat/weight?!” .. It’s so discouraging!
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Replies
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Every journey begins with a single step.
And attitude is everything! You have to start thinking positively, that it will take time but you ARE going to succeed. You got this.
Start with small goals, 5lbs will turn to 10lbs, etc.46 -
What are your stats? (Height, starting weight, goal weight?)
I am down 113 lbs (20-ish to go) - there are no quick fixes. This took me over 2 years of sticking with a plan ... if you are committed and realize it is a long process, you CAN succeed!!43 -
I pretty much started with no expectations about how fast or slow it would come off. Every time the scale went down was a win. It'll be 3 years in January and I still haven't reached goal 1. I did, however, drop over 100 lbs. You don't need to lose "all this fat." You just need to lose a little bit. Once you've done that, a little bit more. And so on and so forth.47
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I agree with gems74. Small, attainable goals. When I started January 1st, 2016, I was staring down the barrel of 90+ lbs to lose. That is daunting, to say the least. I quickly realized, through the advice of others here, that I shouldn't try to tackle the thing as a whole or put it on a timeline. I broke it up into 10 lb blocks and remind myself continuously that it takes as long as it takes. Even at ~66 lbs down in 21 months, I STILL focus on my current short term goal. Patience and hard work will get you to your goal. Just take that first step! Best wishes on your journey.20
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"Weight loss is not linear---237 lbs later and loving life"
Please read this success story. I don't have even close to that much weight to lose; however, I have never felt defeated. I'm just making it a priority now.11 -
One day at a time, 1lb at a time! Take time to learn about yourself, what makes you happy, new hobbies etc. If you loose 5lbs, try to hold 5 one pound sticks of butter in your hand, or a 5lb bag of potatoes, and admire how much of that came off of you! But trust me, the little tiny tiny goals help a lot! My little goals are 10lbs. And it feels great to reach that goal and keep going! I have 84lbs to lose, but I hate to think about that part, lol. So 10lbs at a time is a MUCH better feeling and not so over whelming!
Keep on going! you WILL get there17 -
none of us were born a huge tub of goo yet there we went. it didn't pack on overnight and it sure won't go away overnight. hang in there, don't give up and don't panic. start by getting off the couch and doing less. less eating, less worrying about the speed of loss. like buffalogal and paula say get in the boat and row.16
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I feel you!! I just started this journey again, I have over 100lbs to lose, but I'm determined! I have had 5 pregnancies and have lots of baby weight to lose, but we are done having kids and I'm ready to get healthy. I feel like you have to want it or you will just give up. Im down 11lbs and every time I see the scale move, weather up or down, I have even more motivation! Best thing is to take it 1 day at a time, and know you will have good days and bad days and that's ok. Don't give up if you have a bad day or a few bad days, just get back on track and everything will work out!6
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dawn_westbury wrote: »Does anyone else ever feel like they just have SO MUCH weight to lose that it’s never going to happen?! I look at my stomach, my arms, etc and think “how can I ever lose all this fat/weight?!” .. It’s so discouraging!
You can do it! Just take one day at a time. I like to not only weigh myself, but measure myself too. Week by week you may see small changes that will only become big changes over time. Keep going! It's hard work but worth it! I get discouraged too because I have literally not lost any lbs, not even an oz in the last week. But with my workouts and monitoring my food intake I can feel changes. My abs are tighter, my quads are stronger.
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Seek out success stories from others; they're all over the internet, in articles and podcasts, and in these forums. I guarantee you someone was once in your shoes with twice the weight to lose and ground it out one day at a time.
The beauty of starting from a long way is that small things make a huge difference at first. So even though the journey is longer, those first steps (hard as they may be at first) will be the most dramatic.6 -
buffalogal42 wrote: »What are your stats? (Height, starting weight, goal weight?)
I am down 113 lbs (20-ish to go) - there are no quick fixes. This took me over 2 years of sticking with a plan ... if you are committed and realize it is a long process, you CAN succeed!!
I am 5'5" and weigh about 235lbs .. My ultimate (wish) goal would be to weight what I did before I had my daughters (125lbs), of course that was about 20 years ago! I really just want to lose as much weight as I can (or that I need to) to feel good about myself, be healthier, not get out of breath going up ONE flight of stairs etc etc! Whether that ends up being 125lbs or 155lbs.8 -
What about 5 lbs.? Can you lose 5 lbs.? Just focus on that. Then when you lose five, work on losing five more. And so on. You only have to do it ten times to lose 50 lbs.
And also you have to understand that you must change your lifestyle if you want permanent weight loss. Worrying about how much you have to lose in total suggests that you are still thinking you can go back to your old habits once you're "done". Doesn't work that way.
I started seriously in August of 2015 and lost 75 lbs in about ten months. Then I went on vacation for a few weeks and allowed myself to "cheat" some while on vacation but intended to get right back to it once vacation was over. Well, I didn't. And now after 14 months of bad behavior, I'm nearly back up to where I started before I lost the 75 lbs.
And this isn't the first time I've gotten healthier only to slowly revert back to old behavior and undo the gains I made.
So I get it. And it's hard. But the hardest part is getting your head right and eliminating excuses. That's the key to long term success.29 -
It takes time. It takes a week to lose or gain as much as you do lose or gain in a week. It takes a month to lose or gain as much as you lose or gain in a month. It's taken me now 17+ months to ________ the weight that I've _______. @dawn_westbury , take a moment and guess the words that go in the blanks. Your choices are (lose, lost) and (gain, gained).
Perhaps that photograph above my name, taken about a month ago, shows you a clue. As of today I'm 101 lb down from where I started. It was no accident. Using the resources and the community of myfitnesspal, I learned that the amount of food I had regularly been eating was excessive. I also learned about other foods and ways of preparation which I've added to my kitchen skill set. Eating a proper amount of food for weight loss is easily done. You don't have to lose 100 lb, you just have to pay attention to today. Log your food accurately. Eat what you like, but not too much. Be patient. Be amazed.13 -
[quote="dawn_westbury;c-40388826
I am 5'5" and weigh about 235lbs .. My ultimate (wish) goal would be to weight what I did before I had my daughters (125lbs), of course that was about 20 years ago! I really just want to lose as much weight as I can (or that I need to) to feel good about myself, be healthier, not get out of breath going up ONE flight of stairs etc etc! Whether that ends up being 125lbs or 155lbs. [/quote]
Dawn if I can loose you can loose
I am 57 YO and started 110 days ago feeling the same I am 5'8" started at 226 lbs and an apple shape all my weight is in my gut which really made clothes shopping hard and was so discouraged . But I found this site and started using the diary , and stayed on 1280 cal till I dropped the first 23 lbs , I am now down 27 lbs and on 1440 a day , I got a used exercise bike and am working at increasing my daily cardio .
It is work and takes planning . stock the house with low cal high volume foods so you can avoid feeling deprived and hungry. I am rooting for you
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dawn_westbury wrote: »buffalogal42 wrote: »What are your stats? (Height, starting weight, goal weight?)
I am down 113 lbs (20-ish to go) - there are no quick fixes. This took me over 2 years of sticking with a plan ... if you are committed and realize it is a long process, you CAN succeed!!
I am 5'5" and weigh about 235lbs .. My ultimate (wish) goal would be to weight what I did before I had my daughters (125lbs), of course that was about 20 years ago! I really just want to lose as much weight as I can (or that I need to) to feel good about myself, be healthier, not get out of breath going up ONE flight of stairs etc etc! Whether that ends up being 125lbs or 155lbs.
Every pound you lose makes a difference.
It takes time but is not impossible.4 -
Its overwhelming but all the lil accomplishments will add up in the long run! Thats the only way!2
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I was your starting weight, I'm now down 60 pds approx after 215 days, plus I'm an inch shorter. Aim for improvement, keep focused on the next 5 or ten pounds and remember the time will pass anyway, do you want to be in a better position next year?8
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I did, sometimes, but I chose to trust the process, focus on my behavior, improving my environment, adjusting my attitude (preferences, expectations), and be patient. Keep in mind that you aren't really losing weight, what you are really doing, is eating less and moving more, which creates a consistent calorie deficit, which over time, depletes your fat stores. Maybe thinking about it that way, can help you to emotionally detach yourself from all of it, while at the same time accept and love your wonderful body and be amazed by the things it can do.
Read yesterday's thread again: http://community.myfitnesspal.com/en/discussion/10594927/how-do-you-eat#latest7 -
What would make you feel better? Being 235 pounds or being 234?
What would feeling overwhelmed and not starting in the first place get you? Potentially being 236 pounds.
Would you rather feel better or feel worse? Even though your goal weight feels like a long way to reach, the act of losing weight is not, and your health can get noticeably better losing only 5% of your weight. That's only about a couple of months of dieting for enormous health gains. Don't look at your end goal, look how much you're gaining at every stepping stone.
Time is going to pass either way. It took me 5 years to lose 120 pounds, that's longer than most people and my results are "worse" than most (I don't see it that way), but if I had that "it's too long and daunting" attitude my results would have been even "worse". I'm focusing on the process itself and learning how to live with a diet that would allow me to maintain a reasonably healthy weight instead of on the weight itself, because that's the most important aspect of weight loss. Almost anyone can lose weight, but it takes a special kind of commitment and work to maintain it, so that's the most worthy aspect of your focus.12 -
No matter how long the travel:
Never look at the complete distance and the possible obstacles because this can and will be discouraging.
Instead just concentrate on the next pound to lose
Concentrate on the next mini-goal (3 lbs by the end of the month)
Divide your travel into as many short stages as possible (5lbs, 10lbs; BMI 5 points down, first quarter) The possible "mini-goals" are legion.
No one ever lost the complete overweight in one go.
It's always just stages, stages you complete in baby-steps.
BTW "Baby-Steps": Part of this journey will be the occasional stumble and/or fall, that's normal and completely Okay. Baby-steps have stumbling built in, that's how we learn to run.
I wish you all the best on your personal journey.
You are not alone.6 -
Yup. My main goal at the moment is to get my blood sugar under better control, that's more important to me than losing weight if I'm honest although the two tend to go hand in hand. I'm setting myself smaller goals such as stay on track for a week, lose 5lbs, walk x amount of miles a day, cut down on sugar. They all seem a lot less daunting than losing 80lbs does and I figure it's not just about the scale.
You can do it Take it in small steps.6 -
However fat and unhealthy we are the human body always retains its' incredible ability to heal itself and to improve.
This is because we have an innate mechanism called 'Specific Adaptation' which means the body & its' systems will make changes, as required, in response to the demands we put on it. This is why men who lift heavy weights grow bigger muscles (Specifically the body says 'OK, we need to get stronger') and also why marathon runners are skinny.
You can use this principle of Specific Adaptation to achieve the goals you set. So, no you are not too fat to lose weight. You can do it. What you need is a method by which your system will respond by burning fat.
There are any number of ways to do that including taking amphetamines. However, you no doubt want a healthy option so you need to design a programme that will leave you satisfied, not craving and worrying about food all the time, will get you moving.
My specific advice would be to do this:
1. Calculate your Basal Metabolic Rate. That is the number of calories you burn in a day just doing your normal day. That may be around 2000 or so.
2. Set a calorie intake just below that BMR and divide that into 4 or 5 meals a day.
3. Eat more or less exactly the same foods at each meal of the day. You can vary how you present them but make the ingredients and quantity the same (ie you can have scrambled eggs, or poached or omelette; grilled chicken, roast chicken, poached chicken etc etc). Eat whole foods that fill you up, eat plenty of greens, including at breakfast.
4. Start gradually increasing your activity level. Go for a walk every day even if it is 5 minutes. Very quickly, your system will adapt to the activity and you'll find you can do more. Gradually increase the volume of activity as you improve.
5. Keep your calories constant & increase your activity, do not be tempted to eat more because the app says you can.
6. Don't be tempted to cut calories if you hit a plateau, trust the plan and keep increasing movement. Your system will adapt and as long as you keep a calorie deficit then you will drop weight.
7. Seriously consider supplementing your diet with Vitamin D3, a good Fish Oil supplement, Vitamin C, Magnesium (transdermal magnesium best). Branch Chain amino acids (BCAAs) are a good idea too. You need nutrition to achieve optimum results so don't skimp and live on low nutrition 'filler' foods.
8. Make sure you are getting good sleep & rest. Relaxation and de-stressing is vital too so make time for chill out.
9. Make the mental commitment to achieving your goal in a REALISTIC time span. If you wanted to lose 100lbs a realistic minimum would be 50 weeks at 2lb per week. So, make the mental resolution to stay the course. You couldn't really get it done faster so prepare to strap in and seeit out out.
10. Finally, BELIEVE it can and will happen. This is very powerful. Form a complete image in your mind of you at your ideal weight and study it in detail. Spend time every day looking at that image - notice all the details of how you look, dress, feel, act, behave and think. Get your mind in her mindset and place that image out in front. The power of belief and association with p[ositive images cannot be underestimated. If your unconscious mind really believes you can and will achieve the goal in the image, this will provide massive motivation.
All the best and good luck7 -
rickinnercirclebet wrote: »However fat and unhealthy we are the human body always retains its' incredible ability to heal itself and to improve.
1. Calculate your Basal Metabolic Rate. That is the number of calories you burn in a day just doing your normal day. That may be around 2000 or so.
2. Set a calorie intake just below that BMR and divide that into 4 or 5 meals a day.
5. Keep your calories constant & increase your activity, do not be tempted to eat more because the app says you can.
You'v received good advice, OP. I have lost about 60 pounds, and it's been over quite a period of time. The last 20 have taken about eight months or so. I'm not in a rush. I know how it works. I'm twenty pounds lighter than I was last winter. My goal is to successfully maintain, so I have made small, sustainable changes and gone slow so hopefully those changes will stick.
I did want to address the above. DO NOT calculate BMR and reduce from there. That's what your body needs if you were to stay in bed all day. TDEE is what your body burns in a day when you actually get up out of bed and go about your day.
Also, I would definitely eat more in response to more activity. If I ate what MFP gives me (based off of NEAT and not TDEE), I'd be eating around 1500/day. My activity level is much higher than my sedentary job. I eat around 1700-1900 M-F and Sunday and around 3,000 Saturday. You need to fuel your body appropriately. If you move more, eat more.
Just take the numbers MFP gives you, add your exercise and eat some of those calories. Learn how to log accurately. Adjust your numbers based off of your results. You'll get there. It's better than the alternative.8 -
dawn_westbury wrote: »buffalogal42 wrote: »What are your stats? (Height, starting weight, goal weight?)
I am down 113 lbs (20-ish to go) - there are no quick fixes. This took me over 2 years of sticking with a plan ... if you are committed and realize it is a long process, you CAN succeed!!
I am 5'5" and weigh about 235lbs .. My ultimate (wish) goal would be to weight what I did before I had my daughters (125lbs), of course that was about 20 years ago! I really just want to lose as much weight as I can (or that I need to) to feel good about myself, be healthier, not get out of breath going up ONE flight of stairs etc etc! Whether that ends up being 125lbs or 155lbs.
Losing weight won't necessarily make your feel good about yourself, that's a mindset issue you need to work on too. As was already mentioned above, you need to work on your attitude towards yourself too, self-love is a far better place to improve yourself from than self-loathing.
I started out at 255lbs, currenly down to 218lbs, it's been slow and steady progress so far, but at 218lbs I am still heavier than I have been earlier in my life, but I am a whole lot fitter than I ever was at my slimmest and I have lot more confidence in myself.
Enter your stats in MFP, don't necessarily go for the fastest rate of loss, fast isn't better, sustainable is, get yourself a food scale, log your normal food intake honestly and accurately for a couple of days and then review it to see what small sustainable changes you can make to get from what you were eating to what you need to eat to lose weight. As time goes on you can start focusing on making better nutritional choices, but concentrate on calories first so as not to overcomplicate things.
Start doing little things to be more active, it doesn't have to be exercise necessarily. Walk up the stairs instead of taking an escalator or lift, if you drive - park further away.
Little changes add up.4 -
Agreed. Just enter your stats, take one day at a time. Lift Heavy, change your workout plan every couple months and eat good foods at a caloric deficit. Find some good friends to motivate and possibly participate with you.2
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I was over 400lbs when I started out. I looked at myself and where I was and that was my starting point. I just got lucky in lacking desire even then to lose it quickly with fads and just signed up here, plugged in my numbers and a desired target weight, and stuck to it. If you don't start there's NOT going to be improvement, but if you do start? It's seriously one day at a time. There will be situations where you lose hope, but push past them. Good luck!9
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Yeah I was there and thought the same. Boy was I wrong.5
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In the beginning I was just focused on the process. I asked myself "what did I do to get fat" and then worked on doing the opposite.7
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My goal is the lose 3# by the end of 2017, just 3. Four would be great. Losing weight takes time, effort and a calories defect. In my case, about 100 a day.5
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dawn_westbury wrote: »buffalogal42 wrote: »What are your stats? (Height, starting weight, goal weight?)
I am down 113 lbs (20-ish to go) - there are no quick fixes. This took me over 2 years of sticking with a plan ... if you are committed and realize it is a long process, you CAN succeed!!
I am 5'5" and weigh about 235lbs .. My ultimate (wish) goal would be to weight what I did before I had my daughters (125lbs), of course that was about 20 years ago! I really just want to lose as much weight as I can (or that I need to) to feel good about myself, be healthier, not get out of breath going up ONE flight of stairs etc etc! Whether that ends up being 125lbs or 155lbs.
You do it one day at a time. And there will likely be bad days, days where you give in and overeat. But recognize that this is just one day and tomorrow is another day. Tomorrow you can do better. Don't be in such a hurry that you make yourself miserable. Slow and steady will lead to good results, less loose skin, better adherence, less discomfort.
Be kind to yourself and keep your eye on the goal. You'll get there. If you have children you know how time can fly. This time next year you will be so much closer to your goal. Best of luck!6
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