if my family is not on board, then whats the point?
Replies
-
Love all the ideas coming in..... but when I work 8-10 hours a day.. and she is the one cooking dinner.... what do you do? I make request for certain foods.... and I get it about once a week maybe twice.
Man up and cook your own dinner if you don't like what someone else made. You are an adult, right?14 -
@RandJ6280 You keep a bag of salad in the fridge or frozen veg in the freezer, and add that.
My fiance and I swap weeks of meal planning/grocery shopping, so every other week I have no control over what we make for dinner. Fiance isn't trying to lose weight, so I am not about to ask him to make his weeks harder by making special food for me. I'm the one who'd like to drop five vanity pounds, so I'm the one responsible for what I eat - not him.
I drink extra water while we cook, add salad, and take smaller portions.7 -
kristie8351 wrote: »I have one big kid, my partner lol, and 5 children between the ages of 15 months to 18 years, I always put them first. Now I've decided to think about me for a change, I get complaints
Meal prep is your friend. You can cook up to a week's worth of food for you, freeze or store in the fridge, and you won't have to cook your meals every day. I also invested in a vacuum sealer just for this reason. I can not only meal prep everything but I can freeze in individual portions if I want. Just cook theirs, then eat what you prepped for yourself. You can't force someone else to eat healthy just because you want to, you'll be spinning your wheels. My family has, over time, begun to eat better (and thankfully my wife is now on board for the most part), but for the longest time I either made things differently for myself and them or made my meals separate or differently, or prepped them ahead of time. There are still times the family wants stuff like spaghetti.. I now just eat it anyway and try to plan ahead and eat less the rest of the day to keep the calories under control, but I've already lost my weight and it's now easier to maintain.3 -
Then eat less or not at all at work. [/quote]
Well I am trying I/F and if I don't eat breakfast and lunch....1 -
Stop making 3 dinners every night.
You have a lot of humans in your household who could help prepare food for themselves and others.
My policy, and the one I grew up with, was that if you didn't want the prepared dinner you could make yourself a sandwich or bowl of cereal.
Now these other humans in your home all have different needs and preferences so their plates don't need to look exactly identical to each other. It is reasonable for active growing children and men to eat higher calorie foods.
Are you planning meals? What sort of things are you making and what do they want?
You could make more things that can be customized.
Tacos- everyone can pick and choose what to add
Pasta- cheese or sauce or meat added individually.
meat, 2 side dishes, add butter or sauces individually
You could eat some of what they want and pile the rest of your plate with vegetables.5 -
My husband cooks for me a lot. He is a great cook and I am still quite the novice. He loves to add butter and oils and cheese and all sorts of delicious things. I don't complain, I just eat less of those things and always keep microwave veggies on hand for volume eating if I need to for calories. I just ask him to let me know what he used so I can log it.
@TavistockToad made an interesting point about why not make your kids eat healthier meals too. I know some kids are super picky, but exposure to a wider range of foods and healthy options seems like a reasonable thing to teach kids.
Lots of good advice to make your meals more modular, OP, among other good suggestions. Good luck.3 -
Read this:kristie8351 wrote: »So sick of trying so hard to please others, and get no support back.
Cooking 3 different meals each night is draining, I cook mine last, but then can't be bothered. So I snack or under eat?!
Feeling sad atm.. I've lost weight, and I'm craving for encouragement from my family aswell... Yet no one says anything or helps in anyway
http://community.myfitnesspal.com/en/discussion/10134341/you-arent-always-going-to-get-support/p1
A.C.E. Certified Personal and Group Fitness Trainer
IDEA Fitness member
Kickboxing Certified Instructor
Been in fitness for 30 years and have studied kinesiology and nutrition
2 -
Why is it your OBLIGATION to be the only one to cook? Your partner should be cooking too.kristie8351 wrote: »I have a partner and kids that have different tastes, I try to get them to eat what I, well we all should, but if there's no butter, cream, bacon or cheese its a no go...
At the end of my day I just want to relax and unwind,
How do we get family members involved, without it making them feeling obligated?
A.C.E. Certified Personal and Group Fitness Trainer
IDEA Fitness member
Kickboxing Certified Instructor
Been in fitness for 30 years and have studied kinesiology and nutrition 7 -
Lol, I don't think it's that. I think it has more to do with hearing less complaining.TavistockToad wrote: »kristie8351 wrote: »Yeah I try but it always turns into me giving in and cooking for everyone else.. Then I guess I should really pretty cook my meals so its not so hard, I'm in this for the long run, so I guess they have to get used to it
stop giving in, if its what you want to do.
i never understand why people don't want their kids to eat healthy food...
A.C.E. Certified Personal and Group Fitness Trainer
IDEA Fitness member
Kickboxing Certified Instructor
Been in fitness for 30 years and have studied kinesiology and nutrition
2 -
My solution at home is that my DD and myself prep and cook together and make the meal. That way she's learning how to. And I also let her give input.
A.C.E. Certified Personal and Group Fitness Trainer
IDEA Fitness member
Kickboxing Certified Instructor
Been in fitness for 30 years and have studied kinesiology and nutrition
3 -
I cook dinner. People eat what I cook. I eat less of it because I am trying to lose weight.
I take into consideration the few food aversions that hubby and my son have, and work with it.
I also work 8-10 hours a day and cook dinner when I get home. I do the cooking. They eat what I cook. Period.9 -
I did all this separation of meals, etc. I put my foot down.
To be fair to my family, I did work on my cooking skills, got creative with modifying recipes to add more protein more veggies, etc to help me diet wise and I added a side or two to my my plate that others did not eat.. I able make meals that are enjoyable and fit the entire family, and more meals are shared than not. I don't have to stop enjoying certain foods to be on a diet either.
In the end for me, taking care of myself has been the best thing I could do for my family. We all meet somewhere in the middle, or they do their own thing, I have a lot more help because of the changes I made. It gets better, all this will workout for you! Good luck.7 -
kristie8351 wrote: »I have a partner and kids that have different tastes, I try to get them to eat what I, well we all should, but if there's no butter, cream, bacon or cheese its a no go...
At the end of my day I just want to relax and unwind,
How do we get family members involved, without it making them feeling obligated?
Eat less butter, eat less cream. eat less bacon or cheese. People have lost weight and maintained by doing this.
Make something for everyone and an extra side for you (veggies maybe). They can choose to eat what you've made, or they can make a peanut butter sandwich. You shouldn't have to be a short order cook.3 -
Love all the ideas coming in..... but when I work 8-10 hours a day.. and she is the one cooking dinner.... what do you do? I make request for certain foods.... and I get it about once a week maybe twice.
Eat less a smaller portion of what she makes, and supplement that with a side of veggies. Roasted veggies are simple, don't ask.......just do.3 -
Rand,
I work full time, get home late, and have 3 kids 4 and under I have to spend time with and out to bed. Since my wife cooks for her and the boys, I just cook for myself. It's all quick stuff like frozen grilled chicken, frozen vegetables, canned beans, etc. Every once in a while my wife makes something that jives with what I'm trying to do on my diet and I eat that.
I just decided I needed to take responsibility of my own diet and my own weight control.11 -
From about age 10 I cooked for myself if I didn't want what my mum had cooked, and often cooked a meal for the family each week. Getting the kids involved might help them take ownership and pride in the food they're eating instead of being picky.3
-
Wow, just surprised you are cooking 3 different meals. You have totally spoiled your family and now feeling resentful about it. Not trying to be mean, but it is what it is. You have to stop thinking of your kitchen as a restaurant where the rest of the family can place their orders. You're not a short-order cook and it's not a diner.
I'm an empty nester now and my husband eats whatever I fix, but that wasn't always the case. At one point I had 3 teenage boys living at my house. I cooked one (large) meal a day for dinner and if they didn't like it they could fix their own or go hungry. They usually ate what I cooked, but there were plenty of meals at my house that were PBJs or cold cereal.
ETA: We also ate a lot of tacos and burritos. Just make all the fixings and they can make them however they want (or you can for the little ones). This is also something you can mostly prepare in advance so you're not stuck in the kitchen every evening.7 -
kristie8351 wrote: »I have a partner and kids that have different tastes, I try to get them to eat what I, well we all should, but if there's no butter, cream, bacon or cheese its a no go...
At the end of my day I just want to relax and unwind,
How do we get family members involved, without it making them feeling obligated?
This is what I'm making for supper. The other two choices are take it or leave it.
If you choose to leave it you can find something on your own or enjoy breakfast
3 -
One of my favorite books growing up was "The All-of-a-Kind Family," about a large family living in a tenement house in New York City. One of the stories in it was about their rule for meals: No soup, no meat. No meat, no vegetables. No vegetables, no fruit. No fruit, no penny. One day, Sarah decides she doesn't want the soup and refuses to eat it. Well, when the rest of the family gets the other courses, Sarah's soup is left in front of her, uneaten, all the way to the end of the meal. She toughs it out until the next mealtime... when the soup is taken out of the icebox and put in front of her AGAIN. Horror of horrors!
Eventually, Sarah caves and eats at least a little of the despised soup and all ends happily. (It probably helps that the rest of the family sides with Mama and tells Sarah to eat her soup!) Don't know how that would fly in other families, but somehow the story has stuck with me.4 -
kristie8351 wrote: »Sorry you are all right and make so much sense... Thankyou all for supporting me..
I guess I'm just so wrapped up in what I should be eating, I just want everyone else to do the same... Its my weight not theirs..
I will try combining meals.. Fingers crossed
I think it's one thing if you are making three meals for actual medical reasons or one person is a baby. Or keeps Kosher or something.
A healthy man should be able to participate more in cooking or man up and deal with not having a special accommodation.3 -
FatWithFatness wrote: »Love all the ideas coming in..... but when I work 8-10 hours a day.. and she is the one cooking dinner.... what do you do? I make request for certain foods.... and I get it about once a week maybe twice.Love all the ideas coming in..... but when I work 8-10 hours a day.. and she is the one cooking dinner.... what do you do? I make request for certain foods.... and I get it about once a week maybe twice.
Then eat less or not at all at work.
So what do you think is fair?
0 -
Rotate meal planning/cooking duties between yourself, SO, and the older kids? Have a family meeting to discuss your concerns and come up with a plan that hopefully they are willing to try. Even fixing 2 meals every night seems excessive. You are not a restaurant.0
-
I wasn't trying to be negative about my initial statement. I just wanted to vent, and to see if anyone else had these issues themselves, and I wanted to receive ideas about how to work it... Thanks for all your help there is some really great ideas here2
-
Time for some tough love. If you're cooking the meals they eat what you make. If they complain let them make their own.
Next issue. Not everyone you care about our love is going to go on this journey with you and be supportive. You have to do this for yourself. You can't do this for somebody else. It has to be all about you. Even though it sounds selfish it's the only way you'll succeed.
Most importantly you have to realize you're worth it and you deserve it. God bless and good luck in your journey6 -
STEVE142142 wrote: »Time for some tough love. If you're cooking the meals they eat what you make. If they complain let them make their own.
Next issue. Not everyone you care about our love is going to go on this journey with you and be supportive. You have to do this for yourself. You can't do this for somebody else. It has to be all about you. Even though it sounds selfish it's the only way you'll succeed.
Most importantly you have to realize you're worth it and you deserve it. God bless and good luck in your journey
0 -
I love that you all are so passionate about this just as much as me.
I'm not hating my family or pissed off coz I cook for them, we all are that close, I guess I expect them without asking, for them to get on board...
0 -
Hey, @kristie8351 your post resonated with me and took me back when I was a mother of two teens. My role was about to change and I felt like I was disappearing. After some deep soul searching I joined an art class. This new hobby absorbed me for the next four years. It was the first decision since my children were born that had nothing to do with taking care of the family.
I also went on "strike" in the kitchen. I just couldn't do it any more with the scant praise I was receiving. Gone were the home made sauces and cookies. In came the bargain box of generic cookies, canned sauces and Chinese noodles.
My children still mourn the death of the cookie decade.
When I read that you always cave after your protests, I was reminded of this time when I had to take a stand, to maintain my identity and be my own person.
Teenagers are naturally self absorbed. Complacent spouses, especially those who have snagged a partner who always caves, may assume that nothing will ever change.
It could be a very healthy thing for you to shake up the old order.9 -
I cook a low calorie dinner and add bread or a tub of mac-n-cheese/mashed potatoes/starchy dish for the rest.2
-
You cook ONE meal and they have two options; take it or leave it. That's it.
That's how I grew up.
My mother, a nurse, cooked decent reasonably nutritious dinner meals ... usually along the lines of a piece of meat, a couple servings of veg, and a serving of starch.
And we had the choice of eating it ... or not.
Growing up, my whole family was slender and fit. We certainly didn't suffer with that approach.2
Categories
- All Categories
- 1.4M Health, Wellness and Goals
- 393.3K Introduce Yourself
- 43.8K Getting Started
- 260.2K Health and Weight Loss
- 175.9K Food and Nutrition
- 47.4K Recipes
- 232.5K Fitness and Exercise
- 424 Sleep, Mindfulness and Overall Wellness
- 6.5K Goal: Maintaining Weight
- 8.5K Goal: Gaining Weight and Body Building
- 153K Motivation and Support
- 8K Challenges
- 1.3K Debate Club
- 96.3K Chit-Chat
- 2.5K Fun and Games
- 3.7K MyFitnessPal Information
- 24 News and Announcements
- 1.1K Feature Suggestions and Ideas
- 2.6K MyFitnessPal Tech Support Questions