Going Vegetrian withmy 10 yr old daughter - need Advice

First off, your child's father sounds like he has no research behind his thoughts, so don't listen to him. Secondly, that is awesome! And there are plenty of vegan and vegetarian athletes out there...Robert Cheeke, Brendan Brazier, and so many more. My thought would be to just show him up through your positive changes...when he sees that, yes, your daughter is still developing properly and is still growing into a healthy and strong person without the use of meat, maybe he'll change his thoughts. I did the exact same thing when I was 10...I went vegetarian. I'm vegan now and had a father who, the entire time, ripped my mom to shreds for allowing me to not eat meat. It turns out, my doctors say my diet has saved my life, as I have a few illnesses that should have completely debilitated me by now, but I'm still going strong. Check out thekindlife.com and their forums, as there are lots of vegan and vegetarian moms on there as well...and good luck!

I'd have a talk with him when your daughter isn't around, and present him with facts and figures about vegetarian lifestyles, antibiotics/hormones in animals, etc....Facts so he can't refute them. and how it won't hurt your daughter if done properly. Then say to him that you'd appreciate it if he would not be a jerk, and that not having her parents on the same page with her lifestyle could lead to a ton of self esteem and body image issues later in life. It would be one thing if your daughter wanted to do something unhealthy, but vegetarianism isn't and he needs to cut the crap and act like an adult and not a bully.

bump:flowerforyou:

Alternatively explain to your daughter that people believe diff things. Some think its ok to eat meat and some people dont. It's probably easier to talk to her than her father. My family is veggie and my son and daughter have been brought up pescatarian (eat fish - I dont) he can never under stand why people eat meat and i just say that some people are different and just dont get that being veggie is healthier! He's a footie star in the making and runs around all day long fit and stong and smart! Good Luck it's not easy but its great healthwise!

I'd have a talk with him when your daughter isn't around, and present him with facts and figures about vegetarian lifestyles, antibiotics/hormones in animals, etc....Facts so he can't refute them. and how it won't hurt your daughter if done properly. Then say to him that you'd appreciate it if he would not be a jerk, and that not having her parents on the same page with her lifestyle could lead to a ton of self esteem and body image issues later in life. It would be one thing if your daughter wanted to do something unhealthy, but vegetarianism isn't and he needs to cut the crap and act like an adult and not a bully.

I know someone just like him, and talking won't do any good. He will refute even with no basis.

I would suggest getting a nutritionist involved, if possible, especially given the age of your daughter to ensure that she really understands how much she will need to put into making sure that she gets what she needs, and to ensure she really knows what items are vegetarian and what aren't. Will she eat broth - many are chicken and beef based, but will she allow them in her diet? What kind of vegetarian? Are milk and cheese ok? The answers to those types of questions will change her options to keep a healthy diet.

My cousin went veggie at age 10, she is now 20 and has not eaten meat in 10 years. She is the only one in her family but it seems to work well with them. If you want to do it as well, then good for you. If you decide to eat meat again, I'm sure she will do great on her own with your support..

So long as you replace meat (and fish?) with other proteins, and ensure that you're both getting enough iron, it's fine. Do be VERY careful on iron because as a 10 year old girl nearing puberty getting anemia is easily done. I know, I got it myself by going veggie at age 12. Also be careful not to go down the unhealthy veggie route which is oh so easy, where foods like white carbs and cheese dominate your diet. I did this too. Not good. Check out meat substitute products like Quorn (GM free of course) and tofu, there are also supermarket own-brands of these around and they are a good healthy alternative to meat and make meals more substantial and "normal".

This sounds like a great bonding opportunity, you can explore new foods together and pass on your cooking and healthy eating knowledge to her. She's lucky to have the support from you because many kids wouldn't be able to count on either parent for help and encouragement. I hope her dad realises eventually that if your daughter is mature enough to make decisions like this by herself, he should at least be happy that she is intelligent enough to have interest and understanding of such things at a young age.

I have been a vegetarian for 12 years - since I was 19. I have faced some criticism because of my choice. Feel free to add me as a friend. I'd be more than happy to answer any questions you have. Her father may just not understand her reasons. He may worry this is an unhealthy choice for her. My mom has always worried that I can't get the proper nutrition without eating meat. The truth is you can and you can still have plenty of variety of food choices too.

A couple of thoughts for your consideration:

1) I would recommend that you focus your reading, research, meal planning, and other conversations with your daughter (and ex) on nutrition and health. I would leave the morals out of it, since that will definitely lead to arguments. It is a lot easier to show that she can get the proper level of protein and other nutrients from a plant-based diet than to debate whether eating animals is "right" or "wrong". I don't believe vegetarianism should a dogmatic religion.

2) I would recommend that the focus for you and your daughter should be in ADDING vegetarian food to your diets and not worry about excluding foods from your diet for a couple of reasons:

a) this is easier to do and makes for a much more successful transition. Abrupt 100% transitions rarely work for anyone and until you educate yourself on how to best get your nutrition from a vegetarian diet, it doesn't make sense and you'll end up eating a lot of junk. For example just because french fries are vegetarian doesn't mean you should eat them.

b) the more vegetarian food you eat, the less room you will have for meats, etc., so the transition happens more naturally

c) your daughter won't get a bad emotion about meats, etc. or think it is "wrong" to eat them, especially because she is likely going to be served these items when she is with her father. you don't want to inflame conflict on that front. Vegetarian should be her preference, but at the beginning, until your ex is more supportive, she will likely still be eating some meat and she will over time eat less of it.

Feel free to add me as an MFP friend and look at my diary or message me for meal ideas.

*** Note - I may be going out on a limb here, but I also wanted to suggest maybe looking into family counseling with your ex (and daughter, if appropriate). Sounds like this has less to do about food than it has to do about anger management, fear and control. ***

In the end, I think it this will be a wonderful journey for you and your daughter!