if my family is not on board, then whats the point?

RandJ6280 wrote: »

kristie8351 wrote: »

So sick of trying so hard to please others, and get no support back.

Cooking 3 different meals each night is draining, I cook mine last, but then can't be bothered. So I snack or under eat?!

Feeling sad atm.. I've lost weight, and I'm craving for encouragement from my family aswell... Yet no one says anything or helps in anyway

I am SOOOO with you on this!!! I've lost a little bit of weight, by cutting down on portion control, not eating past 7pm, increasing water intake.... My wife continues to eat carbs.. the bad ones... excess pastas, potatoes... after dinner she'll have a bowl of ice cream, then she'll crave salt so she will grab potato chips... and yet complain that is overweight... I try to encourage her... but she tells me don't start with me. ... can you say FRUSTRATION

None of those carbs are "bad". Potatoes actually have good nutritional value and are a great source of potassium. Neither is ice cream. And eating after 7PM doesn't do anything bad or good. It's all about context and amount.

Nutrient timing is irrelevant. It's all calories in and calories out for weight loss and nutritious food for health. Carbs are part of the package. Don't make it harder than it has to be.

As for your wife, you can encourage but she is an adult and makes her own decisions. You do you.

OP, stop letting your family walk all over you. Find a middle ground of reasonable meal preparation that is adequate for everyone. You are the partner and mother here not Symba the slave girl. You needs should get respected here also. Sounds like your family needs a little retraining. They will not like it at first and complain. Oh well. Tough toenails for them. Fair is fair.

RandJ6280 wrote: »

Love all the ideas coming in..... but when I work 8-10 hours a day.. and she is the one cooking dinner.... what do you do? I make request for certain foods.... and I get it about once a week maybe twice.

Cook your own dinner? I work that much and still manage my own shopping and meals.

My guy is the one who does the cooking. When I started dieting, I told him to make what he wants. He is the cook, I wasn't going to force him to do everything healthy. How'd I cope? Doing portion control. I made sure to only take what would make me satisfied. And I made sure to get some healthy snack options if I needed anything to tide me over until the next meal.

I have a similar spouse , I spent 10 years saying it was his fault I was not loosing weight . I buy lean protein, veg and whole grains . he adds in hot dogs and cold cuts loads of cheese, tubs of ice cream whipped cream , chips , sugary cereals and cookies . 4 months ago I realized even though he always offers me food he was not forcing me to over eat . I decided I was tired of being overweight .
when it comes down to it you are doing this for you and your health . so how to do it , cook a meat veg and a starch put the butter on the table . add a salad , plate your food first weigh and chart as you go Put every thing out those that do not like what you made can have cereal or a PB and J .
I do it this way ,my husband can have as much butter, cheese and bread as he wants and I can have a salad , vegetable 3-4 oz of protein and just a 1/4 cup of a starch with a tsp of butter if I want . we keep regular bread peanut butter and jam for hubby I keep 40 cal bread nutzo butter, humus and Romain for me . I also make a smoothie with extra fiber to keep me full .and a few healthy bar cake recipes that are loaded with fiber and pumpkin and are only 100 cal or less for a small serving . then I tell him this is healthy you might not like it, I will wrap and freeze extra for later . but he usually finds he likes the treats I make .

for the man with the wife that cooks , you work ? buy what you want, poach some chicken breasts on Sunday and you have a week of healthy protein for salads and sandwiches . or stop and eat on your way home and she will just have less to spend on groceries .
it is harder without family support , many times family see our trying to loose weight and get healthy as a threat , I remind mine that I need to loose the weight for my health and so there is less stress on my knees and ankles , as well as I was getting re flux and higher blood pressure . when I started talking about it as fixing those health problems my husband got more cooperative . now when he offers me junk I just say no thanks honey I was craving a salad or what ever healthy thing I was planning next . Just remember family can only sabotage you if you allow it Do what you need to to make you happy even if it means you do not always eat together
I am now down 28 lbs despite hubby

I prep snacks and baked goods on the weekend. Put your meat over salad instead of the rice or pasta your family are having. Sometimes I have cereal if I can't be bothered figuring out how many cals are in their super cheesy or carby dinner. Make slight changes to family favourites and use recipe builder to calculate cals. I still eat bacon, cheese, bread.. just in amounts that fit my calorie goal

Why on earth are you cooing three meals? In my family (now and grown up) it was one meal with two types of veg for choice but that is as far as it went. That is what gets eaten. If we wanted anything else we were most welcome to get into the kitchen an cook the family meal, but it would always be the family meal for ALL

Wow I would never do that. I am the main cook in my family and I make one meal for dinner and we all eat it. You don't have to make anything special for yourself because you are trying to lose weight. You can eat the same things as you always did just in smaller portions. If you want to make meals lighter so it's more filling for you, do it and if they don't like it they can make Their own meals. Period. You need to stop catering to this. You're doing it to yourself. I'm sure this will lead to you using this as an excuse as to why you can't lose weight

kristie8351 wrote: »

I got on here to get support, and advice how others cope being the primary cook...
This was not meant to be a negative post at all, maybe I worded it wrong

This wasn't a negative post at all - you just resonated with the frustrations of a lot of people. You can't take responsibility for other people's reactions. Unfortunately it happens and sometimes postings sort of run away from the original point.

The age old problem of how to meet the wants and needs of multiple people in a household is a real one. And there are many ways to address it. And it can get frustrating.

It reminds me of the episode of "Friends" where something like three versions of mashed potatoes were made to try to make everybody happy for a Thanksgiving dinner, and still another person wanted a version another way--leading to the cook to get completely fed up...and quite rightly so.