Anxiety over reaching target weight?
Piperx222
Posts: 68 Member
Anyone else have issues when they have reached or are reaching their target weight?
When I started I honestly never thought I would actually reach my goal weight. I started at 244 with a goal of 140ish. Back in May I reached my goal of 140 and then kind of lost my way. I should have been excited, I did it! But I felt terrified. I didn't know what to do anymore. I have always been the heavy girl. Always trying to either lose weight and just not caring and gaining.
Looking back I see that I totally self sabotaged (twice) gaining 10lbs over the summer. Now I'm working my way back to my goal weight AGAIN and I don't want to fall back into old habits. I am very much an emotional and binge eater and have been working very hard to overcome and curb those habits. I don't understand why I'm so scared to reach my goal and stay there...
Anyone else stressing about reaching there goal?
When I started I honestly never thought I would actually reach my goal weight. I started at 244 with a goal of 140ish. Back in May I reached my goal of 140 and then kind of lost my way. I should have been excited, I did it! But I felt terrified. I didn't know what to do anymore. I have always been the heavy girl. Always trying to either lose weight and just not caring and gaining.
Looking back I see that I totally self sabotaged (twice) gaining 10lbs over the summer. Now I'm working my way back to my goal weight AGAIN and I don't want to fall back into old habits. I am very much an emotional and binge eater and have been working very hard to overcome and curb those habits. I don't understand why I'm so scared to reach my goal and stay there...
Anyone else stressing about reaching there goal?
5
Replies
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It is super common when you have an impossible dream to reach, you work hard for a long time and then one day, BAM! You reached your goal. Now what?
That is what you are experiencing. You were so entirely focused on reaching the impossible that you forgot one thing: the plan for once you reach your goal.
So, this time around you know. This time around, you plan for the 1st goal (loosing those 10 pounds) AND you plan for the 2nd goal (what to do for the next month after you reach your first goal) AND you plan for the 3rd goal (what to do after you reach your 1st and 2nd goals).
Make sense?7 -
Use the information that you have (.....that I am an emotional binge eater....) to ypir advantage.
There are triggers along the way....you just dont sit down and eat that tub of ice cream in 20 minutes, right? ☺
There are triggers along that path. Figure out what those triggers are...understand how you respond to those triggers and learn to change that response.
It is going to take time and practice. You WILL fail - often. No worries. We are human. It takes time and practice to relearn behavior. Celebrate the successes along the path. And there will be lots of successes. Dont beat yourself up when yoy fall a little short.
Keep in mind that being aware of the triggers is HUGE. The behavior will change....but you have to first recognize "okay, this is where things start for me". That is huge.
You will get there. Be patient with yourself.6 -
Maintenance IS hard because it does almost feel goalless so you can sometimes feel a drift and maintenance and logging can almost become more of a chore because you've got the results you want right? As the above poster says setting new goals is key, I'm going to be quitting smoking and try exercising more now I'm nearly in my goal range, I know it will effect my appetite so I have to carry on logging otherwise I will put the weight back on.
So my advice is set new goals that give you a reason to carry on logging, because logging during maintenance and constantly recalculating your needs to stay in your desired weight range is key. x
Oh yeah and my other advice is have a weight range, mines about 125-133, because your weight does shift about constantly
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Great idea...regarding the weight range, instead of a static number. Good catch....I usually suggest that, just did not here.3
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Thank you, I appreciate the feed back and suggestions! I was really not expecting maintaining to be so frustrating and difficult. Definitely took me by surprise.1
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You are so very welcome. Agreed. It is really all about setting the proper goals. The mind is a very powerful thing. And left to its own devices.....well, you see what it can do!2
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This was exactly me a few weeks ago! I didn't lose nearly as much as you (was going from 150 to 135) but it was the mentality of it. I hit my goal weight and goal measurements, haven't been this small since I was a teenager, and yet I was kinda "meh" about it. Some very smart MFP'ers suggested I make myself some new fitness related goals instead of weight goals, and that has helped with the feeling of being adrift.3
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Maintenance is for life. We still have a scale goal of staying within our target range and seeing that number everyday is still motivating. I find that I see the fluctuations more since they're not offset by true fat losses. That can be hard to see, but that's why it's helpful to have a 5-10 lb range.
I always had goals in many areas while losing, not just the scale, so I've continued that in maintenance. Fitness goals, new activities, new milestones, new recipes, new ingredients, etc. I've now successfully maintained for a year, something I never did before. I always started gaining back immediately after major losses. So I spent 2.5 years while losing 150 to figure out why I failed before and what I was going to do different this time. For me, it means continuing to weigh daily, plot my weight trends in Happy Scale, and resume eating at a deficit as soon as I move above my goal range. No more saying that 5-10 lb gain isn't a big deal. That's what the range is for.
As far emotional binge eating, my main tips are 1) don't keep foods in the house that you binge on. If they MUST be there for others, set up separate storage areas and keep all food except fruit out of sight. 2) have something else to do when the emotions hit, like a walk, yoga, whatever activity you like. 3) Print out a sequence of progress pics and post them where you see them often. Visual reminders of my success help me keep on track even in maintenance. I just don't want to go back to where I was.10 -
I'm having a tough time settling in too. You're not alone. It doesn't help that I feel way hungrier in maintenance than I did in a deficit. Expanding my palette of foods has also set off all kinds of cravings. I'm at about the 6 month mark and hoping it gets easier as time goes by.7
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Your not alone I started at 330 I hit my goal weight of 165 then decided let's get to 155 I did that now I'm heading to 150. I'm trying to eat a little more each day although it's a struggle. I've only been in maintenance since the beginning of the month. I've been down this road before and don't want to go back. You can friend me if you want we can help each other 3
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Your not alone I started at 330 I hit my goal weight of 165 then decided let's get to 155 I did that now I'm heading to 150. I'm trying to eat a little more each day although it's a struggle. I've only been in maintenance since the beginning of the month. I've been down this road before and don't want to go back. You can friend me if you want we can help each other
Congrats on your success! Request sent
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I'm having a tough time settling in too. You're not alone. It doesn't help that I feel way hungrier in maintenance than I did in a deficit. Expanding my palette of foods has also set off all kinds of cravings. I'm at about the 6 month mark and hoping it gets easier as time goes by.
Not that I'm happy that others are finding it difficult too, but I feel better that I'm not the other person having this issue. I was feeling like I was broken or lost my mind or something. I hope it gets easier for both of us 3 -
Maintenance is for life. We still have a scale goal of staying within our target range and seeing that number everyday is still motivating. I find that I see the fluctuations more since they're not offset by true fat losses. That can be hard to see, but that's why it's helpful to have a 5-10 lb range.
I always had goals in many areas while losing, not just the scale, so I've continued that in maintenance. Fitness goals, new activities, new milestones, new recipes, new ingredients, etc. I've now successfully maintained for a year, something I never did before. I always started gaining back immediately after major losses. So I spent 2.5 years while losing 150 to figure out why I failed before and what I was going to do different this time. For me, it means continuing to weigh daily, plot my weight trends in Happy Scale, and resume eating at a deficit as soon as I move above my goal range. No more saying that 5-10 lb gain isn't a big deal. That's what the range is for.
As far emotional binge eating, my main tips are 1) don't keep foods in the house that you binge on. If they MUST be there for others, set up separate storage areas and keep all food except fruit out of sight. 2) have something else to do when the emotions hit, like a walk, yoga, whatever activity you like. 3) Print out a sequence of progress pics and post them where you see them often. Visual reminders of my success help me keep on track even in maintenance. I just don't want to go back to where I was.
Thanks I appreciate the tips!0 -
This is a quote from the TV Series Elementary, change sobriety to maintainence and it sums it up very well, you need to find a way to thrive in maintenance, for everyone it is different, I try to challenge myself with new activities like hula hooping in front of the TV, at first it was very hard now I can do it on one foot!3
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ChristineE63 wrote: »This is a quote from the TV Series Elementary, change sobriety to maintainence and it sums it up very well, you need to find a way to thrive in maintenance, for everyone it is different, I try to challenge myself with new activities like hula hooping in front of the TV, at first it was very hard now I can do it on one foot!
Thank you, for the quote I had never really thought of it that way... Very valid way to think about it.0 -
I am going through a similar experience.
Lost 40, then gained some back. Relost that weight, then this weekend reached 50. I spent the entire weekend sad and crying. What made it worse was I didn't know WHY I was sad, it seemed so silly. I felt no major crisis when I lost the 40.
I have had zero appetite, even though now I have some freedom to eat more.
I am also scared of re-gaining, I am unsure what maintenance will bring and when I look at the mirror and my progress pics I have no idea who I am.
I have found chatting with supportive friends have helped, and time is helping too. I find comfort knowing that even though maintenance is a change MFP is going to help me track what I eat and stay connected. The reason I regained the first time was I left here. This time I am staying and keeping control.
Our feelings are OK! And we will be OK!3 -
I know the feeling well as it's the same predicament I currently mind myself in. On last weight in I was within .3 pounds of goal and I sure I have probably hit it by now. I have not weighted in a couple weeks. When I first set my goal weight 13 months ago the number I decided upon was fairly arbitrary. It was just a number I tossed out there because it sounded good. Now that I am there, I am not so sure it's the place I really need to be. While I am no longer considered overweight by the standards of modern medicine, I am on the upper end of that threshold. Though I admit I might just be using this as an excuse so I don't have to stop. For 13 months, this life is all I have known, and the uncertainty of change is a bit scary. You would think I would be jumping for joy at the prospect of increasing my calories and going into maintain mode, but I am far from it.3
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Anyone else have issues when they have reached or are reaching their target weight?
When I started I honestly never thought I would actually reach my goal weight. I started at 244 with a goal of 140ish. Back in May I reached my goal of 140 and then kind of lost my way. I should have been excited, I did it! But I felt terrified. I didn't know what to do anymore. I have always been the heavy girl. Always trying to either lose weight and just not caring and gaining.
Looking back I see that I totally self sabotaged (twice) gaining 10lbs over the summer. Now I'm working my way back to my goal weight AGAIN and I don't want to fall back into old habits. I am very much an emotional and binge eater and have been working very hard to overcome and curb those habits. I don't understand why I'm so scared to reach my goal and stay there...
Anyone else stressing about reaching there goal?
If the 2011 version of me saw the 2017 version of me I probably would have not been able to believe it and would have said I had a "dream body." But all 2017 me sees is progress to be made. I've long reached my goals, and then replaced them with new ones that were far harder to achieve. I constantly stress about the fact that I'm not reaching these new goals as quickly and that it seems much more difficult to obtain. It's part of the journey, I think. The girls that can be in the fitness industry and live this kind of lifestyle and are stress-free are few and far between. You're constantly thinking about the next meal, macros, weight, measurements and work outs. Critiquing. The key is to try and be happy at every point at your journey.
Sometimes I like to sit back and put myself in the mindset of when I started. Think about my original goals and how far I've come. It helps to put stuff into perspective and you realize it isn't something to dress over as much. Check out Brittany Dawn Fitness (Youtube or IG) - she used to be overweight, then got super into fitness and started competing, and now just maintains and found complete happiness and confidence. She talks about balance all the time and how you create a lifestyle, not a diet or a goal.5 -
Sincerely a big thank you all for your support, tips and reassurance that I'm not alone and crazy about how I was feeling. I truly appreciate it!1
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peaceout_aly wrote: »Anyone else have issues when they have reached or are reaching their target weight?
When I started I honestly never thought I would actually reach my goal weight. I started at 244 with a goal of 140ish. Back in May I reached my goal of 140 and then kind of lost my way. I should have been excited, I did it! But I felt terrified. I didn't know what to do anymore. I have always been the heavy girl. Always trying to either lose weight and just not caring and gaining.
Looking back I see that I totally self sabotaged (twice) gaining 10lbs over the summer. Now I'm working my way back to my goal weight AGAIN and I don't want to fall back into old habits. I am very much an emotional and binge eater and have been working very hard to overcome and curb those habits. I don't understand why I'm so scared to reach my goal and stay there...
Anyone else stressing about reaching there goal?
If the 2011 version of me saw the 2017 version of me I probably would have not been able to believe it and would have said I had a "dream body." But all 2017 me sees is progress to be made. I've long reached my goals, and then replaced them with new ones that were far harder to achieve. I constantly stress about the fact that I'm not reaching these new goals as quickly and that it seems much more difficult to obtain. It's part of the journey, I think. The girls that can be in the fitness industry and live this kind of lifestyle and are stress-free are few and far between. You're constantly thinking about the next meal, macros, weight, measurements and work outs. Critiquing. The key is to try and be happy at every point at your journey.
Sometimes I like to sit back and put myself in the mindset of when I started. Think about my original goals and how far I've come. It helps to put stuff into perspective and you realize it isn't something to dress over as much. Check out Brittany Dawn Fitness (Youtube or IG) - she used to be overweight, then got super into fitness and started competing, and now just maintains and found complete happiness and confidence. She talks about balance all the time and how you create a lifestyle, not a diet or a goal.
I try to remember this, it's a great point. Especially being so near to goal or having reached your goal. The way to be happy is different for everyone but such a great mindset to have. I'm struggling with this now myself, I'm 5 lbs away from my goal and for a few weeks lost complete sight of what I was trying to accomplish and felt all over the place. These are just really vanity pounds and at the beginning (or even middle) of my journey, I would've been very happy to be the weight I'm at now. At any rate, I've reassessed and think part of my problem is that I'm very close to maintenance and experiencing all the feelings everyone else has mentioned. But maintenance can be very freeing I think!4 -
This has always been the struggle for me. I can buckle down for 6-8 months and lose the weight to get to my goal, but I inevitably fall down on maintaining and end up back where I started. I have gone through this cycle 4 times in my adult life. This time, I decided try treating the maintenance phase like the weight loss phase.
One tool I have found to be helpful is the 'Maintainer' DietBet. I used DietBet successfully during weight loss, and having the maintainer version of that does a few things that are working so far: 1) It puts a financial motivation on top of a health motivation making me more likely to stay committed, 2) it breaks down the huge goal (keep this weight for life) into more manageable goals (keep within this reasonable weight range for 1 month), and 3) it keeps me publicly accountable because I have to weigh in and interact with the community of maintainers in the game.
It might not work for everyone, but I am keeping at it and have hope that this could help keep me steady while I learn how to maintain.2 -
From what I am reading, it seems that one thing is clear: not setting goals for after you reach your initial goal. This is soooo simple. But, it ain't easy! It is not easy at all.
Set multiple "big" goals. For each "big" goal, have several "mini" goals that - when all is said and done - take you to that specific "big" goal. Constantly have at least two goals in focus (yes, agreed - you can have only ONE goal at any given time......but have the next goal in sight while you work on the current goal so that you are never 'floating').0 -
This may be a dumb question gonna ask it anyways when you talk about setting goals is this food or health/fitness related? Could it be like something else like taking up a hobby, reconnecting with lost friends etc1
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My anxiety is more knowing what my target should be. I went down too far, now I feel I've rebounded too high. I wish a goal weight was more simple..... maybe I'm too focused on a number that is impossible to maintain?0
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I've been in maintenance for about 4.5 years. One thing I realized very early on during my weight loss was that getting to some number on the scale wasn't really the end game...it's not the finish line. It's actually the starting line of the real race...everything up to that point was just practice.
In maintenance I don't really do anything differently than I did when I was losing save for I eat a handful more calories and have a little more wiggle room for indulgences...I still eat very well and exercise regularly. Healthy eating habits and exercise habits were things that I built on while losing weight and carried into maintenance.
My exercise is scheduled just like anything else that's important in my life...I also keep to things that I enjoy, so regular exercise really isn't a chore, it's recreation...it's play time.
I also found it very beneficial to establish fitness goals...mine were and are mostly cycling related though I did have some strength goals early on. It was also really helpful to sign up for various events and races which gave me a purpose to my training and helped me establish goals.
I think this is an issue when the scale is your only focus...I was and am way more focused on my health, nutrition, and fitness and the scale just tells me that I'm doing what I need to be doing.
Also keep in mind that maintenance isn't a static number...maintenance is a range. If you're trying to maintain a specific number, you're going to drive yourself bat *kitten* crazy...7 -
Hi I'm new to posting although been on MFP for a year now! I am loving the Maintaining threads, many wise words that are helping me get my head around it all! Does anyone else fins that after so long feeling good for hitting calorie deficit and seeing those scales.go down that its mighty hard to eat to maintenance and see the scales the same or fluctuate a little as it feels so "bad"? I've lost nearly 3 more pounds from my goal weight because I just can't seem to relax and eat more (if you told me this situation would have ever been a possibility in my life I would have laughed hysterically as I've been up and down weight wise for as long as I can remember. I would always loose and put 1-2 stone back on immediately)3
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mrsjen1310 wrote: »Hi I'm new to posting although been on MFP for a year now! I am loving the Maintaining threads, many wise words that are helping me get my head around it all! Does anyone else fins that after so long feeling good for hitting calorie deficit and seeing those scales.go down that its mighty hard to eat to maintenance and see the scales the same or fluctuate a little as it feels so "bad"? I've lost nearly 3 more pounds from my goal weight because I just can't seem to relax and eat more (if you told me this situation would have ever been a possibility in my life I would have laughed hysterically as I've been up and down weight wise for as long as I can remember. I would always loose and put 1-2 stone back on immediately)
Totally understand what you're feeling. I've been so focused and trained to not go over that 'magical' number with my daily eating that now that it's higher I start to panic. Plus my weight seems to fluctuate dramatically so I'm doing what was suggested and figuring out my 'range'. I'm also forcing myself to not look at the scale more than once a week - same day, same time. Still so crazy that I had an easier time mentally losing weight than maintaining LOL
We'll figure it out though 1 -
mrsjen1310 wrote: »Hi I'm new to posting although been on MFP for a year now! I am loving the Maintaining threads, many wise words that are helping me get my head around it all! Does anyone else fins that after so long feeling good for hitting calorie deficit and seeing those scales.go down that its mighty hard to eat to maintenance and see the scales the same or fluctuate a little as it feels so "bad"? I've lost nearly 3 more pounds from my goal weight because I just can't seem to relax and eat more (if you told me this situation would have ever been a possibility in my life I would have laughed hysterically as I've been up and down weight wise for as long as I can remember. I would always loose and put 1-2 stone back on immediately)
September has been my first month of maintenance and I have been feeling exactly as you are! You'd think being "allowed" to eat more would be easy, but the deficit mind set is hard to shake - I'm just so used to seeing those green leftover calories in my diary! I've considered manually increasing my daily allowance to build in a set amount to leave unused to make it easier on myself mentally, but that feels a bit like cheating! So I am currently working hard to make myself eat the leftover calories. I do a lot of meal planning (for week days at least) and plan out snacks and things as well so that I can have my entire daily allowance planned to be used. I pre-log and eat what I've logged which helps, even if I can't help feeling anxious when the "calories left" number goes into single/double figures! Over the month it's definitely getting easier so I expect with time we'll get use to this being the new normal and it will be ok mentally. We've spent months building weight loss habits, it will take time to build new habits.3 -
This may be a dumb question gonna ask it anyways when you talk about setting goals is this food or health/fitness related? Could it be like something else like taking up a hobby, reconnecting with lost friends etc
Not a dumb question at all. The goals everyone is referring to are personal and varied. Some are nutritional goals, some are fitness goals and some are ones such as you mentioned, which I think are great ideas! Maintenance means living a happy, healthy, full life and that definitely includes hobbies and friendships.2
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