Having a partner who isn't in to healthy eating and exercise and you are.

helengains Posts: 129 Member
Has anyone had experience working this were it just didn't work


  • CaptainFantastic00
    CaptainFantastic00 Posts: 4,623 Member
    It doesn't work if yoj don't have support, but you gotta motivate you first
  • helengains
    helengains Posts: 129 Member
    I think with me it would work more if we could enjoy it together
  • jdlobb
    jdlobb Posts: 1,232 Member
    yep. Broke it off with a girl I was dating many years ago because I was still taking care of myself at that time and I felt she was dragging me down. We'd go out to eat and I'd get something healthy and she'd get the biggest, nastiest, burger and fries on the menu. Couldn't do it.
  • RoxieDawn
    RoxieDawn Posts: 15,491 Member
    This was me for 2 1/2 years into it! Been married 20 years so working though old habits took time and he's doing this with me now. We don't workout together and he really hates to workout but he does it anyways.

    Maybe after he sees you being successful, feeling better, looking better, maybe he will jump on in too! Don't give up on him!
  • helengains
    helengains Posts: 129 Member
    Great comments everyone. I'm single but in future when ready I will have to take this in to account
  • RoxieDawn
    RoxieDawn Posts: 15,491 Member
    helengains wrote: »
    Great comments everyone. I'm single but in future when ready I will have to take this in to account

    I thought you were already married or in a relationship.

    I see this as the best potential to meet someone that already has this in common with you... trust me you don't want to have 'train' them later on. lol
  • seltzermint555
    seltzermint555 Posts: 10,743 Member
    I think it's like any other factor in relationships. You have to decide what is okay with you and what works or does not.

    My ex husband wasn't interested in healthy habits. The biggest healthy habit he had was drinking giant vats of Diet Mountain Dew instead of regular...I am not kidding. He smoked, ate junk food all day every day, and took a bunch of meds to deal with his health issues that were mostly caused by excessive weight and inactivity. For years he was fine with taking walks and going places with me and then eventually he didn't even want to do that. It was work, pizza, video games, repeat...while I pursued a healthier life for myself. I mostly overlooked it due to his battles with depression and a stressful job but honestly, I knew once our marriage ended (for a variety of reasons not just that), my next partner would HAVE TO be more on the same page as I am re: health.

    My husband now is a perfect match for me in this area. We've both lost a ton of weight. I've been a little more successful at maintaining my loss, but he's still very healthy...and he's way more active than I am, and very athletic in general, so he constantly challenges me in that area and we spend a lot of time hiking & biking and doing all sorts of physical stuff together. He cooks 90% of our meals and they are fresh & balanced and such. However we both struggle with comfort eating & loving sweets. But we struggle together, and health is a shared goal for us.

    OTOH, if I were single now I also don't think I would be compatible with someone who was 100% on the health/fitness wagon and only consumed "clean foods" and protein shakes and spent a ton of time at the gym and calibrating his fitness goals and focusing on it so much that he wouldn't go to a beer tasting or out for sushi with me. I just think that would be a poor fit for me and kind of make me feel burnt out on the whole thing and maybe go in the other direction (eating a lot more junk though staying under calories). That's mostly my own weakness but I am just being honest.

    You decide what works for you. I WILL say, if I could turn back time and break up with my ex husband as soon as I realized he was 100% okay with being super unhealthy, I would.
  • Calliope610
    Calliope610 Posts: 3,797 Member
    My husband is not one for healthy eating or exercise. But that's ok, even though his eyes glaze over when I occasionally share with him my workouts and progress. However...

    When he hurt his shoulder while doing some yard work, he asked me where my weights were and what type of exercises he could do to strengthen his shoulders. So, even though they may not appear to be paying attention, they are watching, listening and learning. This approach is slow and requires patience, but it works so much better than lecturing and nagging one into a healthier lifestyle.
  • LiveLoveFitFab
    LiveLoveFitFab Posts: 302 Member
    I have a husband who doesn't always eat healthy, AND - he eats meat and I've given it up.

    We make it work. I buy tofu, he buys a steak. He eats chips, I have an apple. He has a beef burger, I have a bean burger. We don't have to eat the same food to eat together. I don't refuse to cook the beef burger, and he'll put a bean burger in my pan for me if I'm busy. No one need eat anything they don't want to.

    I do ask him not to keep the foods that make me weak in the house, and he's good about it. If he wants chips or cookies the store is a five minute drive away. He puts them in the cupboard I can't reach because I'm a shorty when he's done, or he eats them in one sitting.

    A lot of the time we have the same meal, but two versions of it. Veggies for both of us, a potato for him and some seasoned tofu fried up for me and a steak for him. Sure its more dishes, but we are two different people with different tastes and we respect each other. Plus, I own a dishwasher - so who cares?

    Some meals I make he actually eats, like lentil stews and falafels, but he might add something to it that I can't eat and stay in my calories, like tonnes of bread.

    Anyways, you don't have to eat the same meals to be a happily married couple. You don't have to have the same diet at all. Now, if your partner is making fun of you, putting you down or refusing to let you eat healthy, then they are just abusive and that is a whole other issue and it points to bigger problems in your relationship.

    Other than that - EAT WHAT YOU WANT and be happy!

  • cwolfman13
    cwolfman13 Posts: 40,875 Member
    It's worse if they are into it, they drink all your protein and you have to take turns to go to the gym!

    Lol...kinda true. My wife and I have to work out a schedule to accommodate her running and my cycling and then gym time. It also sucks that right now her schedule takes precedent since she's training for a 1/2...
  • JimmyTooStrong
    JimmyTooStrong Posts: 69 Member
    It doesn't work.
  • rae1721
    rae1721 Posts: 332 Member
    My SO doesn't work out with me, it's just not something he's wanting to do and I refuse to be a nagging partner. He is supportive and encouraging of me going. I am jealous of the couples that work out together, I think it's sexy and fun! I'm lucky though because I have a great group of friends I occasionally work out with.
  • kimothy38
    kimothy38 Posts: 840 Member
    My husband is very supportive of me though he doesn't share my passion for working out and eating well. He usually cooks dinner for himself and the kids and I do my own thing. He comes to the gym with me occasionally which is great, even though he doesn't actually enjoy it.

    The thing that REALLY annoys me though is when I want to eat or drink something not so healthy and he comments on it.......... grrrrrrrrrrrrrrr.
  • ninerbuff
    ninerbuff Posts: 46,181 Member
    Lol, lots of wives hate football, but their husbands love it. And vice versa with talk/reality shows. You don't have to be supportive of something you don't like your SO doing, but you do respect that it's something they like.

    A.C.E. Certified Personal and Group Fitness Trainer
    IDEA Fitness member
    Kickboxing Certified Instructor
    Been in fitness for 30 years and have studied kinesiology and nutrition

  • Annie831
    Annie831 Posts: 56 Member
    If it's something you want you need to do it for you not everyone will support you in your choices. My husband is a very sarcastic person ( can be mean at times not tying to be just comes out that way) and eats whatever he wants well actually he eats what I cook him but won't eat the heathy stuff all time so I alter our meals to make mine healther than his. I have always used his not being"supportive" as an exscuse to fail but in reality he didn't stop me from exercises or eating healthy he was just there as a big tempation to eat the fatty crap and watch TV instead or working out. But now I'm doing this with or without his "support" because it's what I want and need.