CoWorkers Not Supportive & Give Negativity
lizalmp1234
Posts: 311 Member
Hi everyone,
I've been losing weight so far but I'm just frustrated because the people I'm around most (coworkers) are either non supportive or are very negative regarding my weight loss. Any advice on how to deal with that? Thanks
I've been losing weight so far but I'm just frustrated because the people I'm around most (coworkers) are either non supportive or are very negative regarding my weight loss. Any advice on how to deal with that? Thanks
5
Replies
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Ignore them. It's crazy to me how other people decided it's perfectly okay to weigh in on your health. I weigh out my meals at work with co workers watching. The most they've done is ask what I am doing and once I explain, they say cool and move on. I'm sure they think plenty more but know it's best to keep their mouth shut. Trust me, if you ignore any comment regarding your health they'll see that it's not something you care to talk to them about.13
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Why are you telling them that you're on a diet/trying to lose weight?17
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Why do you expect support from your co-workers? Why are they even involved in your weight loss? I would never involve my coworkers in my weight loss efforts. Stop engaging with them about it, stop talking to them about it, stop trying to involve them. Leave the weight loss talk and such for places like MFP and keep it out of the workplace unless you work at somewhere that is weight loss related.32
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Please don't expect anyone to "support" you in this. Even your friends and family. It's no one's business but yours. You have to do you. If that means avoiding the 3 large boxes of donuts some kind soul brought in, then do it (there may have been various donuts laying around today and I may have fought like helll to make myself not have one...!).19
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I didn't talk about losing weight with my co-workers...and my co-workers are pretty much the last people on earth that I would even expect support from. I didn't really look for support anywhere...I just did what I needed to do.24
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Smile, nod and then you do you. You don't NEED their support.13
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Most people don't like to see others improving themselves. It makes them look in the metaphorical mirror and realize they probably 'should' but are too lazy/uncaring/unhealthy to do anything other than what they are comfortable with.16
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I'm sorry, I'm just not sure why anyone would ever need support from their coworkers. It's not something you would ever need to tell them. If they try to share food with you, just so no thank you, I'm not hungry, and when they ask you if you are on a diet, just say no. Or if you were me, say "do you think I'm fat?"13
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Why are they even commenting? Are they especially nosy or are you volunteering information (potentially more than they care to know)?
My co-workers didn't really care and if they did they kept it to themselves. The only comments I got were 'good job' or 'you look great, keep it up' after I lost a good amount of weight.5 -
Support from coworkers is unnecessary. This is your project, not theirs.11
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collectingblues wrote: »Why are you telling them that you're on a diet/trying to lose weight?
I'm not telling them, they have noticed4 -
alondrakayy wrote: »Ignore them. It's crazy to me how other people decided it's perfectly okay to weigh in on your health. I weigh out my meals at work with co workers watching. The most they've done is ask what I am doing and once I explain, they say cool and move on. I'm sure they think plenty more but know it's best to keep their mouth shut. Trust me, if you ignore any comment regarding your health they'll see that it's not something you care to talk to them about.
Thank you0 -
Is there any chance that their concerns are warranted? Most of the time, when people are critical of another person's weight loss, it's unnecessary or unfounded. Occasionally, though, other people will notice red flags that the person in question may be missing. If there are people who see you regularly who are negative about your weight loss, it's a good plan to take a step back and ask yourself if they have a point.15
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Best way to deal is check yourself out on break and laugh at their 52 oz sodas and pizza hut.. I work in a call center where everyone eats like *kitten* but I frequently hear phrases like "I don't eat enough to justify how much I weigh"... Well, Yes you do! The best method is just keep your head forward and not complain about the food you eat, they may call it rabbit food or healthy or gross looking, but you know you're helping yourself and deep down they are just jealous of that5
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I guess let me clarify, I am not looking for support from my coworkers, however, when I try to eat a healthy lunch or just anything, they will make a negative comment or for example, "why don't you have a burger instead" stuff like that.2
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lizalmp1234 wrote: »I guess let me clarify, I am not looking for support from my coworkers, however, when I try to eat a healthy lunch or just anything, they will make a negative comment or for example, "why don't you have a burger instead" stuff like that.
Maybe you're reading too much into people's comments.
I used to ride at lunch most days and people would comment, "hey...there goes Wolf again trying to live forever." It's just banter...guys joking around. And even if they were serious, why would I care? I'm not fat, they are. I'm fit, they aren't. I enjoy what I do...they don't understand how someone could enjoy "exercise" everyday...etc, etc, etc.
ETA: I'm also 43...I stopped caring about comments from the peanut gallery a loooonnngggg time ago...34 -
lizalmp1234 wrote: »I guess let me clarify, I am not looking for support from my coworkers, however, when I try to eat a healthy lunch or just anything, they will make a negative comment or for example, "why don't you have a burger instead" stuff like that.
Just tell them that you are choosing to FUEL your body with proper nutrition vs just eating poor foods. Your body is an energy buring (glucose) machine. Machines need FUEL, plain and simple. You dont put crappy gas in your car and expect it to perform optimally, right? Why should your body be any different.
Like another said, just ignore the nay sayers, Jealousy is an evil lil thing, sounds like they are just jealous of your hard work and dedication to yourself.13 -
lizalmp1234 wrote: »I guess let me clarify, I am not looking for support from my coworkers, however, when I try to eat a healthy lunch or just anything, they will make a negative comment or for example, "why don't you have a burger instead" stuff like that.
Not sure how that is negative but you could just tell them you're not hungry for a burger and were looking forward to eating whatever it is you're eating. No need to turn it into a big diet discussion.9 -
thanks everyone2
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Most people don't like to see others improving themselves. It makes them look in the metaphorical mirror and realize they probably 'should' but are too lazy/uncaring/unhealthy to do anything other than what they are comfortable with.
OP, I think the post I quoted says it all. Some people really get bothered by seeing others be very disciplined in their eating. You probably would not get those remarks from people who are conscientious of their diets. Most people who make remarks like that probably feel that nagging in their heads telling them they should be doing the same.8 -
lizalmp1234 wrote: »Hi everyone,
I've been losing weight so far but I'm just frustrated because the people I'm around most (coworkers) are either non supportive or are very negative regarding my weight loss. Any advice on how to deal with that? Thanks
Unfortunately,
There are way too many people everywhere that like to steal other people's joy. The people that are making negative comments are well aware of your progress, but are too spiteful to give you compliments. They should be doing the same thing you are doing, but they don't want to make the effort, so they criticize.
If I were you, I would make it a point to not discuss my weight loss efforts with these people...period. I would not bring the subject up and if they did, my responses would be very limited.
You are clearly motivated to do what you are doing...find the people that can honestly support your efforts and as for the others, ''consider the source''.5 -
I can understand why the comments would bother you - I’ve gotten just one diet comment at work, very mild, but it made me feel really uncomfortable. I’ve tried to be open and matter of fact with my friends about losing weight, but I really don’t want to go into it at work!3
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lizalmp1234 wrote: »I guess let me clarify, I am not looking for support from my coworkers, however, when I try to eat a healthy lunch or just anything, they will make a negative comment or for example, "why don't you have a burger instead" stuff like that.
Not exactly the same, but - I don't drink soda, it just wasn't a part of life growing up and i never developed a taste for it. I don't make a big deal about it, i just don't drink it on break or order it at work lunches, having water or iced tea instead. For some reason there's one co-worker that wants to make a big deal of it -- pushing me to drink some, oohing and awing over how delicious hers was, that kind of stuff. At first I would just politely say 'no thanks', then a brief 'it's not working, i don't like soda', - then I started giving her this quizzical "WTF?" look. That seems to be working. She now occupies herself pushing cupcakes on a girl who's gone gluten free.8 -
Easiest way to stop people peeing on your fireworks is to set them off by yourself19
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mywayroche wrote: »Easiest way to stop people peeing on your fireworks is to set them off by yourself
new life motto6 -
Let their hate and negativity be a driving force behind your success.2
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Practice your resting b*tch face and ignore7
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Stop giving a F about what other people think and say. Do this for yourself.9
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I’ve learned that the only people I want to tell are ONLY those that will be supportive, and even then I usually wait a while.
People are resistant to change. Whether it’s me changing my food intake to try to lose weight, or those that I hang out with who are now mad because now when we go out for “margaritas and queso” - I’m getting salads and Diet Coke.
I have resented for a LONG TIME that I have to work harder to lose weight than most people because I have PCO. It’s not that I can’t do it, it’s that I have to find strategies that will help me that are quite different that what it seems other people have to do to lose weight.
When I was in school, it was the same way - I resented that my sisters seemed to never have to study for a test, and I had to work and study for DAYS to try to just pass. I recently discovered a long-time family friend resented he had type 1 diabetes pretty much since birth. He has to do WAY more stuff than I every had to think about doing and then some. He can’t go out and eat whatever whenever either, and it really SUCKED that he couldn’t go out and drink when he turned 21. Most alcohol has way too much sugar in it.
I digress
Anyway - be very selective over who you share your journey with. There are so many people who won’t “get it” enough to be supportive. The more you look for positive people, the easier it’ll be to find. Focus on them.2 -
lizalmp1234 wrote: »I guess let me clarify, I am not looking for support from my coworkers, however, when I try to eat a healthy lunch or just anything, they will make a negative comment or for example, "why don't you have a burger instead" stuff like that.
OP, I'd suggest either ignoring the comments or answering them in a very matter of fact manner.
Why don't you have a burger?
Because I don't want one.
Don't go into how you're not having one because you're cutting calories or trying to lose weight and don't feel like you are obligated to explain yourself, because you are not. If somebody asked me why I don't play the flute, I'd say because I don't want to play the flute and nobody would blink. I treat why don't you eat X questions similarly.14
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