CoWorkers Not Supportive & Give Negativity

ruqayyahsmum · September 2017

Wouldnt say thats particularly negative, they might genuinely have no idea about nutrition

The guy im dating has no idea about calories and nutrition and often tells me im not eating enough and in kfc actively called me out on my salad

I had to explain that him being 6ft and a healthy weight means he can afford the calories but me being 5ft 2 and trying to lose weight means i dont have the calories to play with

He now asks me to do a quick estimate of his cals in a day due to him losing weight he didnt want to and is no longer baffled by me weighing my food and not eating the same foods and amounts as him

TimothyFish · September 2017

It isn't their job to be supportive. I don't think I even told my coworkers I was trying to lose weight.

lucerorojo · September 2017

Or you could say "are you inviting me to lunch?" That would probably shut them up.

garber6th · September 2017

I had lost about 70 lbs and a coworker saw me eating potato chips (which I logged and they fit into my calories for the day easily). He said, "that's not a good choice". After I lost 70 lbs he was passing judgement on my food choices, which I thought was insane. I looked at him, shoved a handful of chips in my face, and walked away. Other people's opinions, input, support, whatever, is not required for me to do what I need to do.

Rebirth08 · September 2017

I think it's easy for some people on here to tell you to ignore them, but based on what type of environment you work in, that may be easier said than done. Some year ago, I worked in an office setting that pretty much had 10-12 people in one OPEN area, working at our little (connected) desks all day. It wasn't a call center, we opened accounts and talked on the phone, sometimes. So basically, the human desire to connect and interact happened. What comes with that is divulging more information that people who don't usually matter need to know. And like you said, OP, they begin to notice, and depending on how they feel about you, they will try to get you. Either ignore them (if you can) or simply tell them "If you don't have anything kind to say to me, then please don't talk to me. I'm working on changing my life and the negativity is not cool." Sometimes, you have to squash that negative energy because ignoring can make things worse.

WinoGelato · September 2017

It still seems like there must be some context or a back story missing here. I can't fathom a situation where a coworker, unsolicited, would suggest that I eat something different than why I was already eating. Did you say to someone who was talking about burgers, "oh man a burger sounds good, I wish I could have one but I'm on a diet"?

Also, in case you are under this impression, burgers aren't unhealthy and it's entirely possible to eat them while losing weight.

rickiimarieee · September 2017

Don't rely on anyone's support in this, if you do there are higher chances of failing. My own family does not support me in this but I don't care. This isn't for them, it's for me and my body. My family is mainly not supportive because they don't think I need to lose weight, mind you I was 5'4 and 158, so I was overweight. Now I'm at 134!

Machka9 · September 2017

How do they even know about it?

Machka9 · September 2017

Just tell them you prefer whatever you're eating.

Bealey2011 · September 2017

I don't know about the other replies, but I work in an office and I am really close to the people on my pod (Generally spend more time with them than I do my actual friends and family...) they are like my friends, so when I'm trying to lose weight I tell them, just like they share things about there lives with me....as for the negativity I would put that more down to them projecting their own frustrations/resentment on to you, sucky I know but that's Humans for you

AlexandraWk89 · September 2017

Well my coworkers noticed that I stopped eating sandwiches for lunch and that I keep saying "no, thank you" to all the snack offers, so they've figured it out themselves and they actually apologise for offering me biscuits lol. But I have a lovely bunch of people there.
But the fact is I wouldn't even share the fact I'm on a diet if they haven't noticed themselves and I definitely don't expect support, because... Well.. we just work together.
Plus even if I met any negativity I'd ignore it. Not their buisness

Mouse_Potato · October 2017

I don't know what is stranger to me - that people make such comments about other people's food or that it is the recipient of such comments who feels the need to respond politely. Honestly, if a coworker did that to me, I would muster up my most puzzled expression and ask "why are you commenting on my food?" I might even throw in a "what the heck is wrong with you?"

WinoGelato · October 2017

And I think the strangest thing is that people feel compelled to start forum threads about this sort of topic because they feel they are being sabotaged or that someone isn't supporting them enough....

JRSINAZ · October 2017

I work for a major fortune 100 company. If anybody started in on me about my weight or diet or anything else I would be in touch with HR. I eat a mostly vegetarian diet (not vegan) and my coworkers know I do not eat meat but they have been very respectful. Good luck to you.

annie22uk · October 2017

Just smile and say you're happy with whatever meal you have chosen........they probably aren't meaning to be negative. Even if they are......still smile.....it will make you feel better

jayemes · October 2017

I'm kind of curious what you're eating for lunch that's getting everyone all riled up.....

jondspen · October 2017

Ever heard the saying, "Misery loves company"? I would guess that part of it is they don't have a good self image, so don't want you to have one either. Also, if you're bringing in tuna to smell up the place...that might be another reason!

Finally, not sure the tone it is being spoken in; perhaps they are just kidding around? I mean, if it's your lunch you brough in...kinda out of line. If you are all going out to eat somewhere like TGIF or Applebee's, they order the lunch burger, you get a chicken salad, and they ask why don't you get a burger, you could always ask them back half kidding/half serious, "OK...you going to buy my lunch?" Not total *kitten* mode...just enough to let them know that it's your money, your body, and your choice, and that they should STFU.

ninerbuff · October 2017

And you don't have to listen to it. People usually don't support anyone when it comes to weight loss because it's a reflection of how unwilling or undisciplined they are if they are overweight. No one likes being "one upped" and that's doing it to them.
Ignore them. It's THEIR PROBLEM if they have to comment on what you eat.

A.C.E. Certified Personal and Group Fitness Trainer
IDEA Fitness member
Kickboxing Certified Instructor
Been in fitness for 30 years and have studied kinesiology and nutrition

Dustin6047 · October 2017

People suck and they don't want you to succeed. Don't allow them that victory, use their dissatisfaction as your motivator to keep going.

sanjay5674 · October 2017

It would be nice if people didn't make these comments, but they're everywhere. Just tell them you don't want a burger (or whatever) right now. If they persist, put on some headphones and turn on the music. They may never get the message, but at least you won't have to listen to them.

Packerjohn · October 2017

Unknown · October 2017

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ugofatcat · October 2017

"Please don't comment on my food, it is really annoying."

Lounmoun · October 2017

Stop speaking to people about it?
Smile and say "because I like what I am eating and don't want a burger today" or "we all get to choose our own lunches fortunately."
I assume you like what you are eating so act like it and change the conversational subject.
If someone keeps bringing it up tell them flat out to stop bugging you about food.

Alatariel75 · October 2017

I never understand these threads. Maybe I'm just lucky but in all my years I've never worked in a workplace where people will comment on my food, save for a "looks good!"
Like... "why don't you have a burger instead" is just not something I've ever heard uttered in the lunch room. I mean, maybe if you were burger gal and had eaten a burger for lunch every day since you started and made a big deal of eating burgers and then one day didn't have a burger I could see someone commenting but... that's just weird.

STEVE142142 · October 2017

Depending on how they say it whether it's done innocently or if it's done with jealousy I have two different responses. If it's done innocently just say I don't want to if it's done with jealousy or really negatively my answer and I know you can't say it as f*** them.

What you have to realize is by you changing and succeeding you've taken away the negative excuses from other people. My co-workers have been supportive of my journey but I think it's normal for people to say you look skinny cuz I'm guessing they never saw you another way and Society has a weird view of what's considered normal now.

You have to remember you're doing this for yourself and as other people said even people you know who care about you and respect you don't fully understand the decision you've made.
Love them ignore them humor them the choice is yours but remember you're doing this for yourself and no one else

lemurcat12 · October 2017

Same here, and really if someone said "why don't you have a burger" (which would be bizarre, because I can't even think of anyone having burgers at the office), I'd say "don't want one." Same as if someone said "why don't you have chicken and broccoli" if I weren't in the mood for that.

I have had people say "looks good" or "what is that you are having" (curiosity or because they think it looks good) or "where'd you get that?" (I got that about Snapkitchen when it first opened here, and also the new poke place when it was new). I usually eat pretty healthy and no one seems to comment more negatively about healthy meals (or really much at all). But then I don't really make a thing about what I eat and haven't gone on to anyone about my diet efforts unless they noticed my weight loss and specifically asked (and then they are usually seeking ideas).

katsheare · October 2017

One other possibility is that they're enjoying winding you up. I'm hoping that, given that it's a couple days since the original post, things have blown over. But I know some workplaces I've been in, people would probably say something like that just to tease, as cwolfman said happens in his workplace.

rheddmobile · October 2017

If someone said, "Why don't you have a burger," I'd probably flip my hair and say, "Because I'm hoping to audition for the role of Hot Office Chick." But maybe I'm used to offices which are a lot more relaxed than yours.

Anyway, I think others are being overly dismissive of your concerns. It can be exhausting to feel as if others are hostile towards you, even if they have no real power over you. There's no need to say anything at all, just smile and go back to your meal.

TeaBea · October 2017

This^

Some co-workers aren't going to be supportive because deep down they know that they need to lose weight themselves. Some co-workers aren't going to be supportive because they know that the only way to lose weight is: "insert diet nonsense here."

I've had one co-worker ask specific questions (because she was struggling).....I pointed her to MFP.

CoWorkers Not Supportive & Give Negativity

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