Breaking Up Is Hard To Do

KittyMul
KittyMul Posts: 74 Member
edited September 30 in Motivation and Support
Hi Everyone,

I need some advice and love! I've just recently broken up with my boyfriend of two years. It was a weird one because it was only because he was moving to a very remote community for work, not because anything was wrong, so I don't even have the luxury of girl-power rage (I'm actually very grateful for this, I hate being angry). Anyway, without getting in to the gory details, I'm starting to realise that even though I always said I was doing this for me, maybe I wasn't entirely. Whenever I was feeling a bit unmotivated, I'd push myself by thinking, "Come on, he deserves a hot girlfriend!" I knew he wanted me to be healthy and happy, and he was always so supportive. It's not that I didn't want to be healthy and happy, it's just that it seemed so easy with him on my side.

Well, now I'm struggling with motivation a bit. I never realised how much I relied on his approval and praise. I keep thinking that even if I do meet someone new, I might be thinner but everything is so saggy because I have some loose skin, how do I explain that to someone new? Do I have to warn them before I undress?? Should I just resign myself to staying single while I finish off this weight loss thing? Maybe I need to forget about boys for a while and really focus on me, make sure that this time I really do have my priorities right.

Any advice, whether you've been through something similar or just have some wisdom to share, would be amazingly appreciated.

Thanks,

Kitty

Replies

  • hush7hush
    hush7hush Posts: 2,273 Member
    I definitely think it's about time to take some time to focus on yourself!
  • lozf85
    lozf85 Posts: 62 Member
    Oh sweetie =(

    Firstly, sorry to hear about your breakup. Its always so hard to end a relationship, especially when there is still love there.

    Secondly, congratulations on your loss so far =) you have done an amazing job and even though you feel as though he was a motivating factor, YOU are the one who has succeeded.

    I think you just need new motivations, and ones that are about you! Maybe a new outfit every new goal, or a spa treatment, something like that.

    As for your excess skin – anyone who gets to the point where you are taking your clothes off is obviously already attracted to you. I suggest you just talk to them about it – I think you’ll be pleasantly surprised. Wear that loose skin as a badge of honour! It shows all the amazing work you have done and anyone you think deserves to be dating you and more importantly seeing you naked should be as proud of you as we are.
  • halobender
    halobender Posts: 780 Member
    Well. I certainly think that some time to yourself, figuring out who you are and what you want might be ideal. You really should, most often, only do anything for yourself. (This excludes compromises for obvious things.)

    It sounds like you're thinking of this situation as "oh goodness I need to be with someone, so should I be?" which is really the antithesis of what is good for ya.

    Figure yourself out and let things fall as they may. You might meet someone next week or next year. Figure it out on your own terms, not theirs.

    But most importantly, keep at this because you want it, and don't feel the need to explain yourself unless it's key to understanding who you are.
  • sunkisses
    sunkisses Posts: 2,365 Member
    Sometimes you've gotta do a workout on the inside. A lot of people neglect that. Good luck.
  • KittyMul
    KittyMul Posts: 74 Member
    Thanks for the advice everyone. I think I do need to take some time for myself, sort out what's best for me. A lot of friends have been pushing me in to dating again but I think I need to listen to that voice in my head and just be on my own for a while. Thanks again!
  • halobender
    halobender Posts: 780 Member
    Ugh. Don't let anyone else tell you that you're ready to date. You need to find that for yourself. Dating when you're not ready is crappy for everyone.
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