Open Discussion on Binge Eating

MessyApron · October 2017

Who here struggles with binge eating?
I've been working on fixing my bingeing for about a year now, but it still amazes me how sneaky my mind can be when trying to rationalize binge behaviors.

I sometimes go into an irrational state where I feel like as long as nobody sees me eating then it's almost like I didn't really eat it. It's always after a week or two of clean eating; I start feeling it on the edge of my consciousness. It's the figurative devil on my shoulder saying that I've already had a doughnut for breakfast, so why not have a bag of chips with lunch, and helping it snowball from there.

Sometimes I pull a move where I convince my husband to overindulge with me so that I don't feel as guilty eating half a tub of ice cream. I've made him my binge buddy, which isn't cool since I know he's been trying to lose weight too.

Do these sound familiar to anyone else? What kinds of tricks does your mind play on you? What do you do to get yourself through an urge to binge?

JeromeBarry1 · October 2017

Are you talking about the official "Binge Eating Disorder" or the unofficial "Sometimes I eat just too, too much!" ?

Friday night I was already over my calories when my daughter, one of my mfp friends, asked my wife to go to DQ to get her a Blizzard. My wife, who thinks I'm too small, asked me if I wanted one also. Then my daughter, my mfp friend daughter! advocated that I get a big old DQ Blizzard.
So I did.

And I can testify that there's no need to have another.

Nony_Mouse · October 2017

Stop trying to eat 'clean', learn to incorporate treat foods into your calorie allowance in moderation, save calories throughout the week or do a bit of extra exercise to allow for higher cal days. Stop with the all or nothing, good food/bad food mentality.

boredloser · October 2017

Yep, I have a binge eating disorder. Like @Nony_Mouse said with the trying to stop eating "Clean" and just get things you like to eat to work with your calorie and macro allowance. That's what I'm doing. I wouldn't suggest filling up on treats though, but just make them fit. If you go over, take a walk and walk it off or work out, whichever you prefer.

I find filling my calories out for the day helps me stay to my goals more, and I allow myself one day a week to eat 2000cal instead of my usual (approx 1200-1250). For me that's a Monday, since that's my "weekend" and I work night shifts so, I can end up eating more than usual due to waking, eating, sleeping when I get home and then eating a lunch and a dinner - especially before when I used to eat backwards and wake up, eat dinner at work at 1-2am, come home, eat breakfast and then a lunch and another dinner.. Yep..

TLDR: Stick to your macros and calories but don't be gluttonous about it. Allow yourself a treat if it fits and if not, exercise to make it fit.

SoulOfRusalka · October 2017

I feel like all of the "helpful" solutions people are offering are kind of similar to telling an anoretic to just eat a sandwich or a bulimic to just stop throwing up.
Like, right, I know the theory thanks but that's the *kitten* problem. If I could just stop with the behaviors, don't you think I would have done it already? Lol.
Anyway, I feel the #struggle. Right now I'm just working on becoming more aware of the urge so that I can stay mindful in those moments and not turn into a zombie, and then once that's a habit I'll move on to letting the urge pass without giving in to it.
Good luck!! Message me if you ever need to vent or anything

Nony_Mouse · October 2017

SoulOfRusalka wrote: »

I feel like all of the "helpful" solutions people are offering are kind of similar to telling an anoretic to just eat a sandwich or a bulimic to just stop throwing up.
Like, right, I know the theory thanks but that's the *kitten* problem. If I could just stop with the behaviors, don't you think I would have done it already? Lol.
Anyway, I feel the #struggle. Right now I'm just working on becoming more aware of the urge so that I can stay mindful in those moments and not turn into a zombie, and then once that's a habit I'll move on to letting the urge pass without giving in to it.
Good luck!! Message me if you ever need to vent or anything

As someone who struggled with bulimia, I actually find you post pretty offensive. The other poster you're dissing stated that she has binge eating disorder (which is a whole different kettle of fish from what most people refer to as binging).

I could be wrong, but from the OP's post, her issue sounds like a classic case of someone who is overly restrictive with food choices, because she thinks that's what you have to do to lose weight, who then goes off the rails. The advice given to loosen up and learn how to fit the foods she likes into her calorie allowance was 100% appropriate. If the OP finds she is unable, mentally, to do that, then she should seek professional help. Something you may want to think about for yourself.

nutmegoreo · October 2017

When I'm overly restrictive and defining foods as good or bad and then add in guilt and shame when I eat said bad foods, it can lead to a ridiculous amount of food intake. Although, for me, it is not binge eating disorder. The best thing that I did was to let go of those labels and to be more forgiving of myself when I eat things that are outside of my previous parameters of bad, or take me over my calorie limit. After continuing to track for a while, I realized that one or two bad days were better than the damage I was doing through the previous cycle of guilt and shame. I know this sounds easy, it really wasn't. I took a long time to change the mindset and a lot of work. It was very much worth it.

nutmegoreo · October 2017

SoulOfRusalka wrote: »

I feel like all of the "helpful" solutions people are offering are kind of similar to telling an anoretic to just eat a sandwich or a bulimic to just stop throwing up.
Like, right, I know the theory thanks but that's the *kitten* problem. If I could just stop with the behaviors, don't you think I would have done it already? Lol.
Anyway, I feel the #struggle. Right now I'm just working on becoming more aware of the urge so that I can stay mindful in those moments and not turn into a zombie, and then once that's a habit I'll move on to letting the urge pass without giving in to it.
Good luck!! Message me if you ever need to vent or anything

OP hasn't told us that she has a diagnosis of BED, the answers for the two would be slightly different. I'm not sure taking shots at others who are offering suggestions for a concern that wasn't clearly defined is helping to create a supportive environment.

aggiepringle6665 · October 2017

I have a BED, currently in remission. I did a year of counselling to figure out why I binge, that help me to avoid situations that might make me want to binge. For me it started with deprivation. I was severely restricted in my eating as a young person. I was never allowed treats and never allowed to eat what I wanted. As soon as I was out of sight, I would sneak things. As soon as I moved out , I ate everything in sight. It took me years to rein myself in. About mind tricks: the biggest one was telling myself I deserved a treat. I should be able to eat whatever I want, whenever I want, with out restraint. Well, that lead me to weighing 431 lbs.
The counselling helped more than I can ever say. Nothing got better until I gained insight to the cause of my illness.
I now eat moderately, exercise, and have lost over 60lbs so far.
Thank you for starting this discussion

nutmegoreo · October 2017

aggiepringle6665 wrote: »

I have a BED, currently in remission. I did a year of counselling to figure out why I binge, that help me to avoid situations that might make me want to binge. For me it started with deprivation. I was severely restricted in my eating as a young person. I was never allowed treats and never allowed to eat what I wanted. As soon as I was out of sight, I would sneak things. As soon as I moved out , I ate everything in sight. It took me years to rein myself in. About mind tricks: the biggest one was telling myself I deserved a treat. I should be able to eat whatever I want, whenever I want, with out restraint. Well, that lead me to weighing 431 lbs.
The counselling helped more than I can ever say. Nothing got better until I gained insight to the cause of my illness.
I now eat moderately, exercise, and have lost over 60lbs so far.
Thank you for starting this discussion

Thank you for sharing your story. I'm very happy you are moving towards better things for yourself. Taking back control over your life is such a long and difficult process. It's changing those patterns and behaviours, and harder yet, that voice inside your head.

CynthiasChoice · October 2017

SoulOfRusalka wrote: »

I feel like all of the "helpful" solutions people are offering are kind of similar to telling an anoretic to just eat a sandwich or a bulimic to just stop throwing up.
Like, right, I know the theory thanks but that's the *kitten* problem. If I could just stop with the behaviors, don't you think I would have done it already? Lol.
Anyway, I feel the #struggle. Right now I'm just working on becoming more aware of the urge so that I can stay mindful in those moments and not turn into a zombie, and then once that's a habit I'll move on to letting the urge pass without giving in to it.
Good luck!! Message me if you ever need to vent or anything

Beautifully said! It's great that you are learning to be more mindful and not turn into a zombie. I know exactly what you mean. I've found that the Calm app is great for guided mindfulness meditation. I struggle with finding the time to do it, but it really takes no more time than eating that extra snack I don't need!

CynthiasChoice · October 2017

To MessyApron: If you do have BED, I can't advise you except to say please get professional help.

If you compulsively overeat and feel out of control often, I would suggest a trial of lower carb dieting where you eliminate nearly all added sugar and flour, without exception, for a few weeks. Increase protein, healthy fats, fiber and water intake and get regular sleep. If you feel better, meaning more in control of your thinking and behavior around food, then a low carb diet might be the answer for you.

From the way you worded your post, it sounds like your issue begins AFTER you have that donut for breakfast. Maybe if you can avoid that first "non-clean" food, you can keep that devil off your shoulder and keep your sanity!
That's the way it works for me, but everyone is not like me.

It's possible that this advice is the exact opposite of what you need. Some people are good at moderating, and incorporating a treat every day or every few days. Others find moderating impossible. You need to figure out what's true for you -- and possibly forget about what you WISH were true about you!

Caralarma · October 2017

If you incorporate all sorts of food into your daily eating- not JUST clean foods- you wont ever feel the need to binge. Every couple of days i have a small chocolate and I promise you I have not even felt the urge to binge because I'm not depriving myself. Just make sure it fits into your calories and you'll be fine

amusedmonkey · October 2017

CynthiasChoice wrote: »

To MessyApron: If you do have BED, I can't advise you except to say please get professional help.

If you compulsively overeat and feel out of control often, I would suggest a trial of lower carb dieting where you eliminate nearly all added sugar and flour, without exception, for a few weeks. Increase protein, healthy fats, fiber and water intake and get regular sleep. If you feel better, meaning more in control of your thinking and behavior around food, then a low carb diet might be the answer for you.

From the way you worded your post, it sounds like your issue begins AFTER you have that donut for breakfast. Maybe if you can avoid that first "non-clean" food, you can keep that devil off your shoulder and keep your sanity!
That's the way it works for me, but everyone is not like me.

It's possible that this advice is the exact opposite of what you need. Some people are good at moderating, and incorporating a treat every day or every few days. Others find moderating impossible. You need to figure out what's true for you -- and possibly forget about what you WISH were true about you!

OP, if restriction triggers the binges more restriction may not be the best answer, but if you're going to try this suggestion keyword is "Trial" and know that you don't need to go very low on carbs to try that. It took me a good while to get my eating under control after a very low carb diet. I became obsessed with food. I couldn't stop thinking about oatmeal. I got depressed. I ate more and gained. The day I decided to stop, in one day I had 6 bows of oatmeal, 15 apples, 3 kg of tomatoes, and a whole liter of milk in addition to my normal meals. My stomach was bursting at the seams and I just kept eating. It was as if I was holding my breath the whole time I was doing low carb and finally could breathe. It felt odd like an out of body experience, like I was watching myself eat from the outside as an observer with no real control over the situation. This may have happened because low carb triggered depression (chemical not situational). So this is what I'm going to tell you: if you decide to try any suggestion from anyone regarding any issue that can potentially affect your mental health watch yourself like a hawk and STOP right away at the first sign of a problem. Don't try to stubbornly ride it out.

MessyApron · October 2017

@JeromeBarry1 I haven't been diagnosed with BED, and I don't think I want to seek a diagnosis. I'm afraid that devil on my shoulder will try to convince me to use a diagnosis as an excuse to justify bingeing behaviors. I can almost hear it now. "Aha! I knew there was something wrong with me! That's why I need to buy a large popcorn." So far I've been making progress by doing research and connecting with other people who are also struggling. However I realize that if I ever start to feel truly out of control or powerless to stop the bingeing, then I'll have to suck it up and speak to a professional. Thank you for your input.

@Nony_Mouse Thank you for your advice. These are tactics that I've employed over the past year or so that I've been working on my behaviors and building new habits to replace the old ones. It's amazing how much one's mindset affects things!

@boredloser Good advice!

Thank you for sharing!

@SoulOfRusalka Good point about mindfulness. I've also found that just being aware of what I'm eating instead of going into "zombie" mode can help me bounce back from the episode. I remember more clearly what I ate, so I can track it, see how much damage was actually done rather than letting myself imagine that I've ruined everything, and get back on plan for the next meal.

@nutmegoreo Like you, I've found that self-compassion is very helpful for breaking the cycle of overindulgence, guilt, and self punishment/restriction. Thank you for your input!

@aggiepringle6665 Your story resonates with me. My mother has always been super healthy conscious, and restricted our access to refined foods from day one, so whenever I had access to sweets and/or white carbs I ate as much as I could. I snuck food from my Dad's food stashes and from the cabinets at my grandparents houses and wolfed it all down in secret. I started showing the weight gain when I hit puberty, and jumped right on the yo-yo diet train. I topped out with 220 lbs on my 5'4" frame, and have slowly (seriously, it's taken me 9 years) shed 40 lbs, and I have 35 more to go. I've reached the point in my journey where I won't be able to lose any more until I get my binging under control and find healthier coping mechanisms.
Thank you so much for sharing, and congratulations on shedding 60 lbs! That's just fantastic!

@CynthiasChoice I appreciate your advice as well as your disclaimers.

I'm still searching for the balance you described, but I'm learning more about what does and doesn't work with every attempt.

@Caralarma Thanks for your advice! It's that kind of mindset that I'm trying to make my default, but it's challenging to hold on to when I'm stressed, bored, and alone (my personal binge eating trifecta).

@amusedmonkey Thank your for this insightful extrapolation, and for sharing your experiences.

edeconing · October 2017

@MessyApron I completely know how you feel! I'll often be on a normal, healthy streak with my eating habits and then next moment - BOOM! I crave all kinds of junk... and then I eat and eat and eat and eat - mostly when people don't see me. It also helps not to feel as guilty.

Since I'm new to MFP, I'm hoping that I can deduce why I go on these binges so that I can address the issue - since I'm an emotional eater.

Nice to know I'm not alone!

Xxx

MessyApron · October 2017

@edeconing Welcome to MFP! Feel free to message me if you want someone to talk to.

I don't know if podcasts are your thing, but there's one I've been listening to that's very helpful to me. It's called Half-Size Me, and it's focused on mindset and a maintenance based approach to weight loss, and the host (Heather) has lost over a hundred pounds and has kept it off for 5 years and counting. She overcame her binge eating problems, and has on a lot of guests who struggle with it too, so it's a good resource when you're trying to figure out your relationship with food.

nowine4me · October 2017

Don't overlook the importance of sleep. Being overly tired is my #1 trigger for binging.

MessyApron · October 2017

@nowine4me That's a fair point. I've been working more late shifts lately, so I haven't been getting my usual amount of sleep. Thank you for pointing that out!

jayersmith · October 2017

I have a B.E.D! I hide my b.e.d and mostly do it at night after my husband and children are asleep. My weight has fluctuated my whole life and I'm always on a diet so I don't over eat I tell myself I'm on a diet. I do this because it helps me tell myself to binge on healthier snacks and food or to stop eating when I never feel full.

kimothy38 · October 2017

I've been a binge eater for many years, lost and gained probably 100kg. I used to hide food in the car so I could eat in private, encourage the family to eat junk so I wouldn't feel so bad, replace packets of things before anyone noticed I'd eaten the whole lot, plans binges around the times when nobody was home. It sucked and I deserve better!

There's some good advice on here. I totally agree that getting enough sleep is super important. I'm eating low carb at the moment and it's working really well. Eating high fat and less processed food keeps the cravings at bay, as does exercise. Eating mindfully and actually savoring food is useful too - not eating while watching tv or reading or driving or working.

Best of luck.

nowine4me · October 2017

@kimothy38 that's exactly why I don't watch TV anymore. It's way too easy to mindlessly go back and back to the pantry. Instead, I read and spend a lot more time walking the dog.

Unknown · October 2017

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LeanButNotMean44 · October 2017

Sometimes I think I have a mild case of BED. While I was growing up, my Mom was always on a diet and labeled foods and behaviors as "good" or "bad". It has stuck with me for all of these years. I was VERY restrictive for a long time (and lost ~45-50lbs), and it definitely caught up to me. Nowadays, I have a really difficult time refusing to eat foods I like even if I am at/over my calorie allowance for the day. I buy foods that I know I cannot stop eating (weird stuff like Irish soda bread), even though I hate myself when I'm done. It seems to be a never-ending cycle.

MessyApron · October 2017

@jayersmith Thank you for sharing! Sneaking food at night when no one's around sounds like it's very common; right up there with eating fast food in the car and throwing away the wrappers where no one will see them. I also relate with trying to replace unhealthy binge foods with healthier ones. I try to keep baby carrots on hand, and sometimes I'll go through a whole bag! But I remind myself that it's better than going through a box of crackers!

MessyApron · October 2017

@kimothy38 Thanks for sharing! That all sounds sooo familiar! Since my usual binge foods are sugary/starchy, I've also found that reducing my carbs and increasing my protein is helpful. The rebounds are difficult, but I'm working on learning to maintain my weight during binge periods, which is progress.

MessyApron · October 2017

@LeanButNotMean44 Thank you for sharing! I haven't been diagnosed with B.E.D. either, but I also suspect that I may have a mild case. I know I find it so helpful to talk to others who are in the same boat. Before I heard other people share their binge stories I sort of felt like I was the only weirdo who did those things.

imanibelle · October 2017

I have not been diagnosed with any sort of disorder, but binging has been my biggest progress killer. I've realized that finding ways to incorporate plenty of fruits, protein and fiber rich foods into my diet while on a budget and limiting the availability of the kinds of foods I tend to binge on helps. I have a treat, but not every day, and i also eat healthy foods I like that fill me up and add in some less nutritious stuff to get my sweets or carb fix, but avoid eating the super junky stuff on a daily basis, the stuff I tend to go crazy on when I get into binge mode. It's like I start eating and then I don't stop. I'm just riding the rush I get from eating.
When I do get a treat, I try to only buy what will fit into my cals that day. Once it's gone, it's gone. Don't get me wrong, I still overeat at times, usually because of hunger and not having planned my meals in a way that would help me to stay in my calorie goal and not be too hungry. But I make up for those days of overeating, and they're not as bad as binge days. Most of all, I just stay positive and know that as long as I'm not binging, I'm making progress and am in control.

shipleyamye · October 2017

There is a book called overcoming binge eating which uses principles of cognitive behavioural therapy which I highly recommend. It is written by Dr Christopher Fairburn. It helps a person to understand the "why" behind their binges and provides concrete tools and techniques to help manage the behaviour.

rickiimarieee · October 2017

It might help to treat yourself to some snacks here and there. Don't limit yourself on what food to eat because you will feel restricted and that leads to binge eating. You can eat whatever you want as long as it's within your calorie budget!

daydreams_of_pretty · October 2017

I find that mindfulness, affirmations, and getting up to walk around/do a few yoga poses can help with my binge eating. I'm a stress eater and eat my feelings, so it's not always about the food. Sure, I sometimes crave my favorites. But if I'm mentally ok I can follow a moderation plan.

Open Discussion on Binge Eating

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