Criticized for healthy choices
MadamMarie33
Posts: 17 Member
Anyone else feel like their friends/family make comments about your food choices? If I weigh something out, measure portions, or pick something healthy while going out to eat, they always make a comment of it. It got worse once I reached a healthy weight.
"Why are you so anal about it? Just live a little"
"Order something normal, you don't haaave to eat healthy all the time"
"Does it really matter how big the portion is? You eat healthy, why track it?"
It's making me self conscious. Being healthy is an ongoing process and if I do slip up one day, it doesn't become one day, it becomes a week of bad food choices. Why can't I pick something healthy while eating out? Anyone else have this happen?
"Why are you so anal about it? Just live a little"
"Order something normal, you don't haaave to eat healthy all the time"
"Does it really matter how big the portion is? You eat healthy, why track it?"
It's making me self conscious. Being healthy is an ongoing process and if I do slip up one day, it doesn't become one day, it becomes a week of bad food choices. Why can't I pick something healthy while eating out? Anyone else have this happen?
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Replies
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Really, people comment about food when you eat with them, so get used to it. Or you could try being direct:
"Thanks, I'll eat what I want. Eyes on your own plate."
But the best thing is to just ignore it and talk about something else.
Are you really thin? Your face looks thin in the picture. Maybe your family is worried it is becoming an obsession or could become one. They know you best...
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bah, I agree.. ignore them. I get comments all the time. both ways. I just do what I want to do2
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Don't worry about what other people, even family, think of your choices. You do you. The rest just doesn't matter.
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How old are you?6
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Your food choices are none of their business (and vice versa). Most of the people I've known who have said things like this have never made a sustained effort to lose weight. They genuinely don't know what it's like. Sometimes I think they are jealous of my progress. But that doesn't excuse them treating your choices disrespectfully. People who say these things also are people I would prefer not to spend my time with...but that's just me.
I see obesity as a medical condition that I had, and that I'm currently controlling via my diet and exercise. Like many other medical conditions, I will need to continue controlling it for the rest of my life. Just like you can't stop taking medication when you have a medical condition under control, you also can't stop monitoring your food intake once you reach maintenance.15 -
MadamMarie33 wrote: »Anyone else feel like their friends/family make comments about your food choices? If I weigh something out, measure portions, or pick something healthy while going out to eat, they always make a comment of it. It got worse once I reached a healthy weight.
"Why are you so anal about it? Just live a little"
"Order something normal, you don't haaave to eat healthy all the time"
"Does it really matter how big the portion is? You eat healthy, why track it?"
It's making me self conscious. Being healthy is an ongoing process and if I do slip up one day, it doesn't become one day, it becomes a week of bad food choices. Why can't I pick something healthy while eating out? Anyone else have this happen?
You got your answer right there.
Don't be afraid to answer back directly.
"What I eat is of no concern to you"
"I'm not anal thanks very much, I eat in a considered way"
"The reason I'm healthy is because I track not inspite"
"Mind your own beeswax, I dont comment on the crap you eat beaky"
I'm a huge man and I tend to just say "STFU or I'll shut you up" and people do but that's not the right way.
There really is no need to be self conscious7 -
I see these threads all the time and I am, as ever, confused. Here's how I read it: "People are incredibly rude and intrusive and for some reason I feel the need to be polite in return."
Seriously, if someone started making such comments on my food choices I would stare at them in surprise and confusion and say something like "uh, how is that any of your business?"16 -
My husband told his family I was on a diet when I said I didn't want any of the starter they were ordering. I corrected him and said no, I just don't like any of what you guys are getting, but I would be happy to split something else with someone if anyone is interested (nobody was
I wanted the hummus starter).
It's irritating that he feels the need to inform EVERYONE that I am on a diet. 95% of the time I turn something down, it's because I don't want it. Not because I am trying to lose weight.
Not sure if he does it to annoy me, or because he is proud that I've managed to lose the weight and so far keep it off. Lol.8 -
22TavistockToad wrote: »How old are you?
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Seriously though, I don't get why people feel the need to say anything. It makes me want to give them a salty comment about their own food choices =/Mouse_Potato wrote: »I see these threads all the time and I am, as ever, confused. Here's how I read it: "People are incredibly rude and intrusive and for some reason I feel the need to be polite in return."
Seriously, if someone started making such comments on my food choices I would stare at them in surprise and confusion and say something like "uh, how is that any of your business?"
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I don't like the word diet either, it feels like a label that separates you from people. "She's on a diet, we're not" mentality. Nothing wrong with healthy choices, diet or notMsMaeFlowers wrote: »My husband told his family I was on a diet when I said I didn't want any of the starter they were ordering. I corrected him and said no, I just don't like any of what you guys are getting, but I would be happy to split something else with someone if anyone is interested (nobody was I wanted the hummus starter).
It's irritating that he feels the need to inform EVERYONE that I am on a diet. 95% of the time I turn something down, it's because I don't want it. Not because I am trying to lose weight.
Not sure if he does it to annoy me, or because he is proud that I've managed to lose the weight and so far keep it off. Lol.
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Time to stand up for yourself and simply say something along the lines of "I don't tell you how to eat, so please don't tell me."2
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omg I HATE when people say healthy food isn't 'NORMAL'. I get that one all the time.8
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MadamMarie33 wrote: »Anyone else feel like their friends/family make comments about your food choices? If I weigh something out, measure portions, or pick something healthy while going out to eat, they always make a comment of it. It got worse once I reached a healthy weight.
"Why are you so anal about it? Just live a little"
"Order something normal, you don't haaave to eat healthy all the time"
"Does it really matter how big the portion is? You eat healthy, why track it?"
It's making me self conscious. Being healthy is an ongoing process and if I do slip up one day, it doesn't become one day, it becomes a week of bad food choices. Why can't I pick something healthy while eating out? Anyone else have this happen?
Is it possible that you actually are being too restrictive, and your friends and family are concerned? That sentence I bolded is a little worrying, frankly. It's not 'slipping up', it's not 'bad', it's normal. Yes, being healthy is an ongoing process, but that includes having a healthy attitude towards food, and understanding dosage and context. It's about what and how you eat overall, not at a single meal. Perhaps if you change your mindset about this, you will find that you can go out and have a higher calorie meal, or dessert, or whatever, and not feel the need to continue with 'bad food choices' for the rest of the week because you already 'messed up'.13 -
I get what you mean, that can sound restrictive. I do let myself step out from my "super healthy" life style. Today I had loaded baked potato soup and beer for lunch at a bar with friends and I'm perfectly fine with that. I don't see it as a slip up. But if I were to sit at the bar with them and have 2k+ calories from pigging out on nachos, I'd feel like it wasn't as reasonable of a good choice. Once I start eating junk food I start to crave it, that's what I mean by slipping up and then slipping up for a week. I like healthy choices, I don't like when I make bad food choices because friends peer pressure me just because they're not eating healthy.Nony_Mouse wrote: »MadamMarie33 wrote: »Anyone else feel like their friends/family make comments about your food choices? If I weigh something out, measure portions, or pick something healthy while going out to eat, they always make a comment of it. It got worse once I reached a healthy weight.
"Why are you so anal about it? Just live a little"
"Order something normal, you don't haaave to eat healthy all the time"
"Does it really matter how big the portion is? You eat healthy, why track it?"
It's making me self conscious. Being healthy is an ongoing process and if I do slip up one day, it doesn't become one day, it becomes a week of bad food choices. Why can't I pick something healthy while eating out? Anyone else have this happen?
Is it possible that you actually are being too restrictive, and your friends and family are concerned? That sentence I bolded is a little worrying, frankly. It's not 'slipping up', it's not 'bad', it's normal. Yes, being healthy is an ongoing process, but that includes having a healthy attitude towards food, and understanding dosage and context. It's about what and how you eat overall, not at a single meal. Perhaps if you change your mindset about this, you will find that you can go out and have a higher calorie meal, or dessert, or whatever, and not feel the need to continue with 'bad food choices' for the rest of the week because you already 'messed up'.
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Sounds like your friends/family don't want you to change and are projecting their personal issues on your lifestyle choices. Could be jealousy, selfishness, resistance to change, or some other thing. Bottom line, tell them this is YOUR life and you will enjoy it how you want. Either they will support you or they get lost.
I had to tell a few family members do this, their snide comments about what I was doing/am doing was them projecting their own insecurities. Told them get on board or get lost and they realized to keep their negative opinions to themselves .5 -
MadamMarie33 wrote: »Anyone else feel like their friends/family make comments about your food choices? If I weigh something out, measure portions, or pick something healthy while going out to eat, they always make a comment of it. It got worse once I reached a healthy weight.
"Why are you so anal about it? Just live a little"
"Order something normal, you don't haaave to eat healthy all the time"
"Does it really matter how big the portion is? You eat healthy, why track it?"
It's making me self conscious. Being healthy is an ongoing process and if I do slip up one day, it doesn't become one day, it becomes a week of bad food choices. Why can't I pick something healthy while eating out? Anyone else have this happen?
Don't be self conscious about it. Tune them out. Don't let them affect your journey. I have been tracking my macros since I was a kid and have dealt with that type of thing the whole entire way. Still do. Just ignore them and choose the food that will fit your nutrition table best.2 -
MadamMarie33 wrote: »
I get what you mean, that can sound restrictive. I do let myself step out from my "super healthy" life style. Today I had loaded baked potato soup and beer for lunch at a bar with friends and I'm perfectly fine with that. I don't see it as a slip up. But if I were to sit at the bar with them and have 2k+ calories from pigging out on nachos, I'd feel like it wasn't as reasonable of a good choice. Once I start eating junk food I start to crave it, that's what I mean by slipping up and then slipping up for a week. I like healthy choices, I don't like when I make bad food choices because friends peer pressure me just because they're not eating healthy.Nony_Mouse wrote: »MadamMarie33 wrote: »Anyone else feel like their friends/family make comments about your food choices? If I weigh something out, measure portions, or pick something healthy while going out to eat, they always make a comment of it. It got worse once I reached a healthy weight.
"Why are you so anal about it? Just live a little"
"Order something normal, you don't haaave to eat healthy all the time"
"Does it really matter how big the portion is? You eat healthy, why track it?"
It's making me self conscious. Being healthy is an ongoing process and if I do slip up one day, it doesn't become one day, it becomes a week of bad food choices. Why can't I pick something healthy while eating out? Anyone else have this happen?
Is it possible that you actually are being too restrictive, and your friends and family are concerned? That sentence I bolded is a little worrying, frankly. It's not 'slipping up', it's not 'bad', it's normal. Yes, being healthy is an ongoing process, but that includes having a healthy attitude towards food, and understanding dosage and context. It's about what and how you eat overall, not at a single meal. Perhaps if you change your mindset about this, you will find that you can go out and have a higher calorie meal, or dessert, or whatever, and not feel the need to continue with 'bad food choices' for the rest of the week because you already 'messed up'.
Good, good, just checking
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Nony_Mouse wrote: »MadamMarie33 wrote: »
I get what you mean, that can sound restrictive. I do let myself step out from my "super healthy" life style. Today I had loaded baked potato soup and beer for lunch at a bar with friends and I'm perfectly fine with that. I don't see it as a slip up. But if I were to sit at the bar with them and have 2k+ calories from pigging out on nachos, I'd feel like it wasn't as reasonable of a good choice. Once I start eating junk food I start to crave it, that's what I mean by slipping up and then slipping up for a week. I like healthy choices, I don't like when I make bad food choices because friends peer pressure me just because they're not eating healthy.Nony_Mouse wrote: »MadamMarie33 wrote: »Anyone else feel like their friends/family make comments about your food choices? If I weigh something out, measure portions, or pick something healthy while going out to eat, they always make a comment of it. It got worse once I reached a healthy weight.
"Why are you so anal about it? Just live a little"
"Order something normal, you don't haaave to eat healthy all the time"
"Does it really matter how big the portion is? You eat healthy, why track it?"
It's making me self conscious. Being healthy is an ongoing process and if I do slip up one day, it doesn't become one day, it becomes a week of bad food choices. Why can't I pick something healthy while eating out? Anyone else have this happen?
Is it possible that you actually are being too restrictive, and your friends and family are concerned? That sentence I bolded is a little worrying, frankly. It's not 'slipping up', it's not 'bad', it's normal. Yes, being healthy is an ongoing process, but that includes having a healthy attitude towards food, and understanding dosage and context. It's about what and how you eat overall, not at a single meal. Perhaps if you change your mindset about this, you will find that you can go out and have a higher calorie meal, or dessert, or whatever, and not feel the need to continue with 'bad food choices' for the rest of the week because you already 'messed up'.
Good, good, just checking
I appreciate it ^-^3 -
"I am following a plan recommended by my doctor."
"Thanks for your concern. But this is for my health."
"I like this plan. I can eat anything in sensible portions determined by nutritional guide lines."
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Whenever someone says that their friend and family are constantly calling out their diet, my first suggestion is to double check yourself and get really honest with yourself for a second:
1. Are you always talking about not being able to eat certain things or mentioning trying to make a healthier or lighter choice?
2. Are you eating an overly restrictive diet?
3. Are you underweight?
If your answers to all of these is "no" then just say "Thanks, but I chose this because I like it. What are you getting? Cool, that sounds yummy too! How's work going?" And if they don't get the hint after awhile, just tell them it bothers you the way they focus on what you're eating and to mind their own beeswax
Sometimes people get used to how you look heavier, and when you get to a healthy weight and they're not used to it, they actually do see you as too thin. It can also make people feel self-conscious about their own choices when you are making the changes you need to. And some people assume healthy choices are always boring and not satisfying, that way they have an excuse to keep making bad choices without feeling guilty
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Misery loves company...period.
They probably feel self conscious seeing someone take the steps to be healthy. Exercise - sure, they can lie to themselves about bad knees, back, don't have time, bad genes, bad metabolism, etc. But when they look across the table at someone with self-discipline put the fork down and push themselves away from the table with their arms and not their belly, it slaps them in the face how lazy and undisciplined they truly are. Don't take it personally...it is probably more of a statement about themselves than about you.
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Personally, someone who comments on my food choices does so at their own peril. It's none of their damn business.4
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Just do your own thing girl and take it all too personally!!!
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MadamMarie33 wrote: »Anyone else feel like their friends/family make comments about your food choices? If I weigh something out, measure portions, or pick something healthy while going out to eat, they always make a comment of it. It got worse once I reached a healthy weight.
"Why are you so anal about it? Just live a little"
"Order something normal, you don't haaave to eat healthy all the time"
"Does it really matter how big the portion is? You eat healthy, why track it?"
It's making me self conscious. Being healthy is an ongoing process and if I do slip up one day, it doesn't become one day, it becomes a week of bad food choices. Why can't I pick something healthy while eating out? Anyone else have this happen?
I use these opportunities to hone my snark skills.7 -
Yesterday we had a family get together that involved a charcoal grill. I don't like meat, so I ate everything else but the main star of the show: meat. There were some jabs and jokes about my choices which I joined in for and joked around. All in good spirit and fun. If the comments are light-hearted and you are with people who are close friends or family just lighten up and join in with the fun. The comments aren't usually meant to be mean-spirited, just people wanting to talk about things and communicate. If you're with people you aren't close, make a quick comment about how you like your choices and don't pursue the matter any further. These comments, too, aren't usually meant to be mean-spirited, but they're out of place so it's best to let people know they are crossing boundaries.
Of course, if you're always bringing it up or acting a certain way that feels to people like you're judging them, then that's on you. By doing this you're practically inviting others to comment.
As for me, who needs meat when I have this!!!
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Mmmmm. Scorched tomatoes!!!!!
My favourite 3 -
It’s annoying and I think most of us have experienced it. I don’t think it will ever change. Especially if the people have never struggled with their weight or worse, they do.. and don’t want anyone else to better themselves. It’s going to happen, just know... it’s about them, not you.1
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Lots of good comebacks offered here. Because your food choices are none of anyone's business. There's two factors I'd like to address.
First of all, the self-consciousness. Don't let these comments get to you. Square your shoulders, smile with your eyes and reassure them that you are perfectly fine with your choices. Then turn the conversation back on them.
Gosh, you are the only one who gets to live in your body.
The second factor, is the complex social dance that revolves around food and drink. When we are out with our friends at a party or a bar, there is permission to cut loose a little. It remains a safe environment as long as everyone is on the same page. After all, any one of us might say too much or go too far. Nobody loves a party pooper on fun night.
There is also the hosts desire that everyone is well fed and cared for. Turning down the food may be taken as an insult to the host.
So I find a drink early on and nurse it, even if it is sparkling water. If I am offered food I accept it with a smile, even if I just take a bite. I let my friends know how much fun I'm having and I cut loose a little (a very hard thing for me to do. The consequence of being raised by a chaotic mama).3 -
It’s annoying and I think most of us have experienced it. I don’t think it will ever change. Especially if the people have never struggled with their weight or worse, they do.. and don’t want anyone else to better themselves. It’s going to happen, just know... it’s about them, not you.
It's rarely this sinister. Most of the time it's things like wanting someone to experience a pleasure, an attempt at dissipating some perceived tension when one person is doing things differently (they basically perceive them as a basically a party pooper), or simply just people taking playful jabs at each other, as you do, and the subject being way too sensitive about it because weight and food are sensitive issues for some. The closest I can think of it in a negative light is the feeling of being judged if the person's mannerism reeks superiority about their choices. Actual desire for others to fail is rare, or at least that's what I've experienced.4
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