She made me want to cry..so it's just time

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2

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  • skuchenberg
    skuchenberg Posts: 14
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    She is the type that always have to give her advice because her advice is ALWAYS right. And it always comes off very insulting and not just trying to help
    "You know that when people have their gallbladders taken out, they tend to gain a lot of weight. You might want to look into taking an enzyme pill. Just a thought..."


    Was it her intent to insult you or was she just trying to help? I would look at her intentions not her words.
  • BrendaBlis
    BrendaBlis Posts: 165 Member
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    Welcome!! :flowerforyou:
  • tmiqueen
    tmiqueen Posts: 254 Member
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    My son had made some comment about how I felt like the Pillsbury Dough Boy in my gut when he was playing around boxing with me one day (he's a super jock).
    Then, the week before I started on MFP, my grandmother (who is kind of a b-word) says to me in a hushed voice (read: loud enough for everyone within 20 feet to hear) "You know, it's probably not my place to say so, but you're getting kind of fat." (And this was while I was attempting to diet...)
    When I went out with friends, guys that usually came flocking to hit on me didn't even look at me twice...and some even looked repulsed that I was flirting with them (which has never been a problem for me before).
    Even though there's a part of me that's doing it for them (to make my son proud of me, to show my grandmother how wrong she is, to more easily snag Mr. Right), I'm really doing it for me. I know I need to be healthier (my last physical proved that) and with my family history of cancer, diabetes and heart disease, I've been well on my way to becoming another statistic. I'd rather leave a different legacy for my family!
  • allip722
    allip722 Posts: 17
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    good luck to you girl! Kick some buttox! (:
  • DreamLittleDarling
    DreamLittleDarling Posts: 800 Member
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    I understand, some people will simply NEVER get it.

    You take care of you! ....and karma really is a *****! lol she'll pay for her rudeness eventually!
  • hnodine
    hnodine Posts: 28 Member
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    Quite rude of her. I can feel your pain though. I often have people call me fat, in their own ways. For example, I was in line shopping for some shirts. A complete stranger, in front of me, looked at the top shirt and complimented on how it was a nice shirt. I said I liked it too. He asked what size it was. I told him it was a Large. He looked at the shirt, back up at me, down at the shirt, and right back up and me and said "You probably need a larger size." Thank you complete stranger.

    Then, I was setting up a meeting at my work for a community program. A female attendee asked me where the soda machine was. After I informed her it was across the building, I offered to get it for her. She look at me and said "Good, you look like you could use the exercise." Ouch. (She was three times my size, by the way.)

    And finally, I was in line getting food at an event that I was working at. A thin man was in front of me as we approach the meat server. She ask him how many pieces he wanted and he replied by saying one. As I approached her, she looked at me...paused...and said "You look like you could use two pieces." Really??

    My point, is that while all of those people were rude, they are just words. While I took offense to them, they are a driving factor to my motivation. In 2008 I lost 65 lbs. I have since regained that and I am back again. I know you can do this, and you just need good friends here to help you along the way! I'll be happy to be your friend if you want to request me. I need some accountability buddies.

    -Heath
  • MandaLee8908
    MandaLee8908 Posts: 1,353 Member
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    Ummmm for her information. That is not true! excessive eating and poor diet/weight management make them fat.....so she needs to shut her pie hole! I had my gallbladder out in 09' and yea i gained weight but that's because i didnt watch what i ate!

    AMEN SISTER! I gained about 10lbs after my gallbladder came out (after an initial 5lb loss and loss of bloating), but I was already overweight when I had my gallbladder out! Gallbladder has nothing to do with it!
  • amoffatt
    amoffatt Posts: 674 Member
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    That was not a very nice note she left you. I am 4'11 and batteling my weight as well. Being short tends to make a few pounds look like a lot. Good luck and feel free to add me!
  • ken1994
    ken1994 Posts: 495 Member
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    Not to worry! You are doing it for the right reasons, always let the ones who hate start the fire, but the ones who love you inspire! Good luck!
  • SWEET31
    SWEET31 Posts: 40
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    you can do it ,when people say things like this ,just ignore them :)
  • BettyMargaret
    BettyMargaret Posts: 407 Member
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    Then she will PROBABLY be the one telling you you're too skinny when you lose weight! lol
  • skuchenberg
    skuchenberg Posts: 14
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    You guys are so great..I'm so happy to be here and already feel a great deal of added support! Now I wanna cry for good reasons....not because of her :)
  • withchaco
    withchaco Posts: 1,026 Member
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    "You know that when people have their gallbladders taken out, they tend to gain a lot of weight. You might want to look into taking an enzyme pill. Just a thought..."


    Was it her intent to insult you or was she just trying to help? I would look at her intentions not her words.
    I was wondering about that too. I definitely say rude things or act in rude ways without realizing it sometimes. :(
  • darlynnwd
    darlynnwd Posts: 43
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    grrr-ing for you! You're in the right place and it's the right time. You can do it!

    One day at a time!

    PRESS ON!
  • skuchenberg
    skuchenberg Posts: 14
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    She always has to give advice that is insulting. She's ALWAYS right. It's never advice that's just trying to be helpful..unfortunately.
    "You know that when people have their gallbladders taken out, they tend to gain a lot of weight. You might want to look into taking an enzyme pill. Just a thought..."


    Was it her intent to insult you or was she just trying to help? I would look at her intentions not her words.
    I was wondering about that too. I definitely say rude things or act in rude ways without realizing it sometimes. :(
  • cgates33
    cgates33 Posts: 4 Member
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    Definitely use her comment as motivation to lose weight. I had a similar experience: In February of 2010, a shallow ex-boyfriend in an angry text message told me I was gaining weight around my hips and how I was fat, etc. Deeply hurt and already feeling in a rut before that, I started the south beach diet to show him that I was still hot if I ever saw him again, but it eventually turned into generally feeling good and healthy every day, gaining more confidence, doing more activities with my daughter because I had more energy, feeling beautiful and flirty with my now fiancé, running a marathon, etc, etc…I ended up losing 30 pounds and sported a 120 pound toned body by month 5. Oh…and I eventually did run into this ex-boyfriend in a coffee shop and his reaction was priceless since I looked better than I did when we were together…he even commented on how great I looked. Needless to say…it was an incredible feeling (even though he is STILL a jerk).

    If you need any advice or motivation, friend me and we can help each other lose the pounds! (Stress with school and work, plus being a mommy has helped in gaining the weight back in the last 5 months!! grrr )
  • darlynnwd
    darlynnwd Posts: 43
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    You guys are so great..I'm so happy to be here and already feel a great deal of added support! Now I wanna cry for good reasons....not because of her :)

    You go ahead and cry if you need to. There's healing in tears, and we're all here for you!

    *hugs*
  • cmgb2008
    cmgb2008 Posts: 14 Member
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    I have a mother-in-law that does the same thing to me i am 5'3 and when i started on here i was just 135 which is in a health zone. when me and her son my hubby got together i was 115 after 2 kids 135. She would make remarks on how i was gaining weight and now that i am over 30 that is was going to be hard for me to lose it, i was not unhappy with my weight (135) but just to prove her wrong i would lose the weight now i am exersing and i fell so much bettter healther and when i fell like i am in a rut and need motivation i go to her and talk about how it is getting hard to lose weight and she tell me the same thing that just pisses me off enough to get back on the exercise wagon.... so if she is what motivates you use her for that motivation because that is all there nagitivity is worth.... Good luck and you can so do this
  • homeport51
    homeport51 Posts: 198 Member
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    People can be so cruel. Whenever someone (anyone) says something hurtful I always say to them, "That was really an unkind thing to say." And walk away.... The thing here is that you WILL lose weight and she will ALWAYS be an insensitive, know-it-all jerk. Don't let people like her make you cry, you are so much better than that! Big hugs for you from CT!
  • TazzyDB
    TazzyDB Posts: 224
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    Trust me on this, and I promise it's coming from my own experience....

    Just make sure you are losing the weight for you--not anyone else! If you are doing it to appease her or anyone else, you may start our motivated but it will dwindle. Make sure you are happy with who you are and the decision you've made to lose the weight.

    And remember, we are all here for you.

    If your sister-in-law needs a reminder on how much words can hurt, I wouldn't hesitate to remind her. She's probably unaware of how hurtful even a suggestion can be!

    HUGS

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