Difficult to eat healthy with new husband
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callsitlikeiseeit wrote: »Learn to cook.
Seriously. Anything I can get at a restaurant (that i would order) I can make BETTER, healthier, and far less expensively at home.
that said, i lost 80 pounds when i was with my ex, and we ate out almost every day. It was typically my only meal of the day and I worked out as well. So it can be done.
I am glad my fiance prefers eating at home - for the cost savings AND better taste and nutrition.
Same. Most food I can cook better than restaurants unless it's something I'm not super familiar with like Chinese food. But really anything I can cook better and I'm able to measure my food and weigh it so I know exactly how much I'm getting. My fiancé also prefers eating at home to save money and most restaurants around here don't have much options and we don't really like going out and he likes my cooking a lot more. We're home bodies.1 -
It might be more the expertise of having date nights than the actual food. My go to trivia every week w my boyfriend, and his family. I eat before, and maybe steel some of this fries, and have a glass of wine. The focus and fun is on the trivia. We also sometimes go to comedy clubs, and sports watch parties.2
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Search up food blogs or watch the food network for inspirational ideas. I often like to copy chat foods that I've eaten at restaurants and that I love. I go ok YouTube or other sites, and try to maid that same dish. Just today I made an Indian dish I fell in love with while at an Indian buffet.
Good luck!! and much blessings in this marriage of yours.0 -
I gained a lot of weight after meeting my now-husband, and the fact that he loved to eat out certainly contributed. I really had to just take control of my diet myself - when I go out, I get an appetizer or only eat half an entree. I keep food at home that I like to eat, so if he wants to get fast food on the way home or delivery, I usually pass. Just because you’re married doesn’t mean you have to eat the same things. But I do get that it’s easy to slip into those bad habits when you want to spend time with someone you love.2
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_super_sarah_ wrote: »Really trying to find balance, I just got married to someone who loves to eat out. I'm finding it very difficult to work around this, sometimes he'll eat the food I cook for us, but mostly he wants to go out, and expects me to eat with him. Lately I've been refusing, but this means going most of the day fasting or only eating small snacks until we get home (we stay out most of the time), or making him eat awardly by himself while I just sit there. Help please, any suggestions are welcome
Why can't you eat a healthy breakfast and/or lunch? Why is it necessary for you to "fast" during the day?
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How is this different from when you were dating? I take it you didn't live together until you were married? I find it curious that he would rather you sit there and not eat, than eat at home with you. Sounds like the power dynamics are a bit skewed.
What sort of places does he want to go eat? Can you eat there within your calories, which still being able to have breakfast and lunch?8 -
At the restaurant, you could eat a starter and a small soup. Or always order fish without the carb and ask for extra veg. Have water only. Then you can eat while he eats and your calorie count won't be extreme. Even better you might be able to find restaurants that list their meals' calories.2
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If you know which restaurant you're going to in advance, you could call them and ask whether they can accomodate your needs, count the calories for you...
this might not work with chain restaurants but if it's a local business owner run place I'm sure they'd want to do their best - it's good business practice0 -
Reminds me of a guy I know that loves going out to eat and covering the bill. He'll take his gf at the time out and shower her with constant full course meals. In 6 month the gf has put on a fair amount of weight from this new habit and he usually breaks up with her for getting "fat".
I'm also curious how you didn't already know this about him before getting married. Health practices are very important in relationships let alone a marriage. Could literally be a deal breaker if both partners are on different pages.
Here are some points.
1. You're responsible for your health. A big part of the health equation comes down to your diet. This means you eat what YOU need to eat to be healthy. This means you eat 3-4 healthy meals per day regardless of what he does or wants you to do. Eating is your own business, he doesn't need to be involved in it. No fasting silliness to wait to eat dinner with him. You can still sit with him.
2. It's very hard/impossible/inefficient to "change" another person. He likes eating out and that's what he'll be doing regardless of what you say or do.
Keep us updated. I'm curious to see how this turns out.
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I would honestly just make my healthy food at home and take it to wherever ur going to eat and eat my food there..6
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Plan ahead! This has worked like a charm for me! First thing in the morning I look at the menu online ( almost EVERY place has that) and then I pick what my meal will be. I then figure the calories and put them in my log before anything else is logged. Then I balance out my calories for the rest of the day. Has worked great. I do not even look at a menu when we arrive.6
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I have to agree with the person who said, "Learn to cook." But another option is to walk or ride bicycles to wherever you are going to eat out. When I eat out I usually ride a bicycle to get there. My favorite restaurants are all about an hour away by bicycle, so I'm usually okay with eating whatever they put on the plate and sometimes I have dessert.5
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I struggled with this for the first couple years of marriage - my husband is a big snacker! I've just had to have self control to say no to companion eating and sometimes make 2 different meals or have much smaller portions than his. He has recently become much better with his diet and sometimes I have to keep up with him! At the end of the day just talk about it and figure it out together as a team
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spiriteagle99 wrote: »Why don't you suggest to him that instead of spending all your money on restaurant meals, you save some of that so you can have a really great vacation in a few months?
Indeed. This is a very expensive habit.2 -
A couple of things:
1. Eating out kind of creates a cycle of eating out. Most restaurants (especially the chains) make their food with a lot of sodium, fat, and richness that makes "everyday" food seem kind of boring. I was in that cycle myself and the more you do it, the harder and harder it gets to enjoy the food you make at home. I have some friends that eat out probably 4-5 nights a week (yes, they have money) and regular food just tastes boring to them. They have been doing this for years and both are now overweight.
2. As others have said, it is possible to go out and find something that will fit into your day; however, depending where you go, it can be really hard. There are three restaurants where I live that I know have NO diet friendly option. The only thing to do is order an entree or appetizer and eat half of it.
3. Bottom line is that I think you should have a "talk" with your husband and explain that not only is the frequent eating out sabotaging your efforts to eat healthy, but it's really not something you can/should be doing long-term. Think of all the money you are spending that could be put toward something else (such as retirement, downpayment for a house/car/vacation, etc). Find out if can compromise on 2 nights per week out (one place nice and one place fast-casual).
4. Both of you should then experiment with cooking at home to provide you with tons of flavor! Don't just throw a couple of chicken breasts in crock pot and expect it to match up to what you get out.5 -
Doesn't it get expensive eating out all the time? Maybe that's another thing to discuss with your husband, the money you could save if you cut down on eating out and cooked at home half the time as a compromise.2
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I absolutely HATE eating at home...hubby would rather eat at home. I'm the household cook, most of the time, so my compromise it to stop and get what I want to eat on my way home from work and then cook a meal later in the evening for him. On the weekends, he eats at restaurants with me. If you want to cook for yourself, your hubby may be interested in just going to eat alone or going out with his coworkers for lunch or after work.4
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If your husband is so unwilling to compromise over something so simple that effects both your health negatively/positively (depends what side your looking from obviously) And is something YOU need Thn sorry to say you have bigger problems. Stand up for yourself. You dont need to starve all day to please HIM11
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There are ways to eat out healthily. The phrases that will _really_ help you out:
"No Butter"
"On the side."
"Substitute for sauteed spinach."
"Hold the cheese."
"What are my calorie friendly options?"
A nice six ounce sirloin with two vegetable options minus the butter will only clock in around 500 calories or so.
AVOID THE BREAD. Or at least stop yourself 13
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